User:Singularity/Todo
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- Translate commune articles from fr (start with Communes of the Ain department)
- Improve Hawaii Superferry
- Punahou School, to B-status
- Battle of Nuuanu, to B-status
- Tenrikyo, use [1]
Contents |
[edit] First review
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- Lead is way too big - it should be a brief summary of the article, not several paragraphs.
- Listing of all the buildings on campus is completely unnecessary. Remove or move to it's own page.
- Done Removed listing. Sr13 (T|C) ER 08:09, 27 April 2007 (UTC)
- List of notable alums is to the size that it's probably ready to be it's own article.
- Done I don't think that the alums deserve their own article, but I cut them down to size. Sr13 (T|C) ER 08:09, 27 April 2007 (UTC)
- Look around at other articles on similar schools and universities and emulate the good examples.
Nswinton 21:00, 26 April 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Second review
- Good. Will need some work towards B status, though.
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- 9'th reference missing.
- Done Added, apparently deleted prior. Sr13 07:23, 28 July 2007 (UTC)
- Several "citation needed" throughout the article, you may not base claims on personal research. It might require one reference per paragraph.
- Avoid external links inline.
- Image:Punahouschoolflag2.png lacks a fair use rationale.
- Done Added. Sr13 07:23, 28 July 2007 (UTC)
- POV — "Because of his love for this school...", "actually named".
- Format the references using the cite templates.
- Done Formatted. Sr13 07:23, 28 July 2007 (UTC)
- I'll further check-up to the writing once those are addressed. Michaelas10 17:14, 30 April 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Third review
- The section on Case Middle School is disproportionately large. I suggest spinning it off as its own article (since it has an adequate number of cites), and then just having a two-paragraph summary in the article.
- By contrast, there seems to be no description of the campus (size? number of buildings? organization) or other components (does the high school have a name? lower schools?)
- This is a 501 c (3) organization, yes? So why not a link to their annual financial form (990) filed with the IRS? And a bit of info from that (e.g., annual revenues, size of endowment)?
- The subsections in the "Athletics" section dominate the table of contents. I suggest using semicolons to bold what otherwise would be subsections. (There really ought to be two only two true subsection headings: "Programs" and "Olympians".)
- The "history and traditions" section combines two disparate things; I suggest an "Other" section with info on events ("traditions" really relates to culture, not a school, I'd argue, but that's a very minor point), the asteroid, and other things that don't fit elsewhere, with an expanded history section (see next point).
- The "History" section most definitely needs to be greatly expanded: what happened between 1842 and the point where Steve Case (and please remove the "Because of his love" phrase; that is an absolutely, completely unverifiable phrase - unless he hooked up to a lie detector or given truth serum, and then only if you believe either of those really works) gave $10 million? Clearly the school expanded - when, how, why?
- Does the school have any particular teaching philosophy or approach? Has this changed over the years? Was it a pioneer in anything (co-ed education, girls in sports, whatever)?
-- John Broughton (♫♫) 01:44, 1 May 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Automated peer review
The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.
- The lead of this article may be too long, or may contain too many paragraphs. Please follow guidelines at WP:LEAD; be aware that the lead should adequately summarize the article.[?]
- The lead is for summarizing the rest of the article, and should not introduce new topics not discussed in the rest of the article, as per WP:LEAD. Please ensure that the lead adequately summarizes the article.[?]
- Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Manual of Style (dates), months and days of the week generally should not be linked. Years, decades, and centuries can be linked if they provide context for the article.[?]
- There may be an applicable infobox for this article. For example, see Template:Infobox Biography, Template:Infobox School, or Template:Infobox City.[?] (Note that there might not be an applicable infobox; remember that these suggestions are not generated manually)
- Done Formatted into template. Sr13 07:23, 28 July 2007 (UTC)
- Please reorder/rename the last few sections to follow guidelines at Wikipedia:Guide to layout.[?]
- Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.[?]
You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, Ruhrfisch 03:10, 6 May 2007 (UTC)