User:Silversnake020/weeman
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Jared Matthew Wiegand is an alum of The Citadel of South Carolina. He is a member of the class of 2005. He frequently goes by the nickname "Weeman" in reference to his height of 61 inches and unusually small penis.
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[edit] Life synopsis
Jared Weeman was born January 20, 1983, somewhere in the United States. After moving to the east coast and living in the Super Bowl losing town of Buffalo NY, he moved to Salinas, California in 1998 and joined the NJROTC program at Monterey High School. It was there that he met his antagonist, Antonio Butcher, who was his Executive Officer and Cross Country teammate, who immediately demoted him to the position of Deck Swabber. Officially, the reason given for this assignment was because he could fit easily under the railings to mop and was close enough to the ground to get a good shine, but most cadets from that time period speculate that it was because Butcher only selected highly qualified people for nomination to critical positions, subject to approval by the CO and Naval Science Instructor. Weeman was once given a letter of reprimand for looking up a tall girl's skirt, but he claims he was just trying to see what time it was on his watch. During his high school days, Weeman was best known as projecting the persona of a pitbull ready to strike, but actually cowering when the rubber met the road.
Jared Weeman later attended the Citadel of South Carolina. He went to this school rather than enlisting or going to the academy as he wasn't good enough to get recruited because he was too short. During this time he was forced to do guard duty on many occasions and given tours. During his knob year, he was thrown in a laundry bag and tossed in a closet like a sack of dirty linens. Antonio Butcher capitalized on this by referring to him as "Guardman Weeman" and "Tour Guide Weeman", much to the former's disdain. Numerous references were made to Weeman's height as well, further infuriating the little guy. One time while inebriated from heavy alcohol consumption, Weeman suddenly became angry about his height and broke a mirror as he looked at his reflection. This resulted in disciplinary action in the form of >60 tours and confinements.
Weeman became famous around The Citadel as a "West Coast Yankee" and as Jimmy Dung, the Citadel exchange student from Taiwan, started using Butcher's terms of Weefag and Fisherman on a localized basis. Eventually, the -fag suffix was used as slant rhyme for the last names of various other cadets at the Citadel (i.e. "Murfag" for Murphy, etc.)
Following graduation from The Citadel in 2005, Weeman was not picked up for a commission in any of the armed services. He returned to the Central Coast of California and has been moving between jobs and homes in Salinas, Pacific Grove, Monterey, and Seaside.
From time to time, Weeman has been referred to as "always angry" in reference to his constant frustrations, or "semper angryus" as a spin on the US Marine Corps motto "Semper Fidelis".
[edit] Weeman The Fisherman
Weeman the Fisherman is a song written by Antonio Butcher about Jared Weeman's love for the cod fish written in 2003:
Weeman the fisherman
Touring for the fish in the open sea
Weeman the fisherman
Fishing for you, fishing for me
There are some known variations, such as the substitution of "weefag" for "weeman".
Recently, a Spanish variation (with poor grammar in the final sentence to allow for a rhyme scheme) has been created:
weeman el pescador
viajando para los pescados en el mar
weeman el pescador
¡pesca para ti, pesca lo gustar!
There is also a Portuguese variation:
weeman o pescador
viajando para os pescados do grande mar
weeman o pescador
pesca para você, pesca lhe gosta!
[edit] History of Weeman The Fisherman
Once upon a time Weeman was in love with Carolina, a classmate from high school whose nickname is Cod which is sometimes extrapolated to Fish. The song Weeman the Fisherman was written in reference to their unrequited love.
[edit] External links
Template:Weeman the Fisherman
