Shazia Mirza
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Shazia Mirza (born 3 October 1973) is a comedian[citation needed] from Birmingham in England, whose act revolves around her Muslim faith.
About a year into her stand-up comedy career, she gained UK-wide publicity in the months when the world was coming to terms with the September 11, 2001 attacks. This was because at this time she would perform her act in recognisable hijab dress and begin with the deadpan remark, "My name is Shazia Mirza. At least, that's what it says on my pilot's licence."
In 2003, she was listed in The Observer as one of the 50 funniest acts in British comedy. In recent years, she has performed stand-up at the Edinburgh Fringe and, since 2006, has been writing a fortnightly column in The New Statesman magazine.
In April 2007, she presented a "documentary" on BBC Three called F*** Off, I'm a Hairy Woman.
[edit] Jokes
- "Good evening, I'm Shazia Mirza. At least, that's what it says on my pilot's licence." (October 2001)
- "On the morning I was invited to Buckingham Palace, I got in a rickshaw, and the man said, 'This is the first time I've picked up someone sober' because a rickshaw is the transport equivalent of a kebab."
- "Primark is a bit like being bisexual. No one admits to going there but everyone has a dabble."
- "I can't understand women who wear necklaces with 'Mum' written on them. I don't wear a necklace saying 'frigid'."
- "Yes, 37 degrees in Mumbai! No not the temperature, that's the degree the plane landed at! I mean, the Americans applaud for any landing, but really, these people should applaud and be thanking their God because they managed to survive!"
- "My mother always tells me to fly Pakistan International Airlines or Emirates Airline because she says "they're never going to blow up their own!"
- "I went over to America... no, not to blow things up"
- "Did you hear Bombay is now called "Mumbai"? I didn't; when the heck did that memo go out?!"