Running gags on Pardon the Interruption

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The longevity and popularity of the ESPN show Pardon the Interruption, like its sister show Around the Horn, has led to numerous running jokes between hosts Michael Wilbon and Tony Kornheiser that longtime viewers recognize. Some of these are:

Contents

[edit] Current gags

[edit] The Bald Brotherhood

Whenever a "friend" of PTI who happens to be bald (like Charles Barkley) is mentioned or makes an appearance during "Five Good Minutes", Kornheiser will make reference to that fact and call him a member of "The Bald Brotherhood".[1] Wilbon finds Kornheiser's obsession with hair weird, refutes Kornheiser's assessment that he is bald (Wilbon states that he has the shaved hairstyle), and he will either make no comment about another person's hairstyle or, when asked about what a person should do with their hair when it is receding, will decree that they should "Be a man and take a razor to that, big boy!" Conversely, when a guest with an inordinate amount of hair (e.g., a mullet) appears, Kornheiser will often express jealousy, sometimes exclaiming, "Look at that hair!" The Bald Brotherhood denied Britney Spears's entry to the elite club because both hosts felt Britney Spears hurt the name and the respect the group experienced in the past.

[edit] Beatdown!

Wilbon often says that if a person is acting horribly, said person deserves a "Beatdown". Wilbon usually exclaims "I got two words for you: BEAT! DOWN!"

[edit] I'm a man! I'm 40!

Wilbon or Kornheiser occasionally use this saying, made famous and coined by Mike Gundy, the head football coach at the Oklahoma State University, who went off on a rant during a post-game media conference regarding an article about one of his players on September 22, 2007. At one point, while defending one of his players, Gundy said: "Come after me! I'm a man! I'm 40!"

[edit] Dap

Dap, a handshake greeting first popular among African-Americans in the 1960s, is understood to represent credit, or props, after deserving respect for a performance. As in, "Give my boy some dap!" Dap can also be given for correctly predicting something. The logo for DAP Technologies appears on the set as a play on that, as well as occasionally a small tub of DAP spackle.

[edit] "Your boy"

When discussing a personality that one of the hosts particularly likes, that person will be referred to as the host's "boy..." For example, Kornheiser may address Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban to Wilbon as "Your boy Cuban" or "Your boy Cubes." The phrase is often used sarcastically, as well, for someone a host dislikes.

[edit] Confusing a little known athlete with someone similarly named

When an athlete is discussed that a panelist is not familiar with, he will often say he would not know him or her from someone sharing his first or last name. For example, Kornheiser said he would not be able to tell the Boston Celtics power forward Leon Powe from Edgar Allan Poe. The panelists will also say that they would not recognize some figure if he "walked into the studio with his name on his shirt." On the January 30, 2008 episode Dan LeBatard called Kornheiser on this, to which Kornheiser replied, "That's my move baby. That's it. That's all I got."

[edit] Wilbon on the road

Wilbon frequently does remotes from cities where he's covering an event, particularly during the NBA Playoffs. Kornheiser doesn't like this, saying he hates to travel. Wilbon will occasionally remind Kornheiser that they are journalists, and have to actually cover sports. Kornheiser hates to take all the letters during the Mail Time segment when Wilbon is on the road; he once even made ombudsman Tony Reali do it. On March 27, 2006, Kornheiser finally had to do a remote and Wilbon announced that he was glad to take all the letters out of the box. Kornheiser and Wilbon are both on the road for Monday Night Football games to accommodate Kornheiser being a commentator for the program.

[edit] Gots to go!

One of Kornheiser's favorite expressions, which he uses for something which is completely unacceptable or untenable; for example, "He gots to go"

[edit] Kornheiser and Monday Night Football

Kornheiser occasionally receives criticism with his job on ESPN's Monday Night Football and jokes about his job status as color commentator on the show. On the February 26, 2008 edition, Kornheiser suggested that Michael Strahan take his job, and even suggests to Wilbon to take his job, a claim that he takes back after realizing that both of them work on MNF.

[edit] Strugg-a-ling

During a 2003 Sunday Night Football game on ESPN, Joe Namath was interviewed by Suzy Kolber in a sideline interview. Namath, obviously drunk, told Suzy that he could not care less that the team was "strugg-a-ling" after saying to Kolber, "I just want to kiss you."[3] Namath's near incoherent pronunciation of "struggling" is used frequently by Wilbon and Kornheiser. (Reali also uses it frequently on Around the Horn.)

[edit] The Yanks and the Sawks!

Wilbon has a dislike for the heated rivalry[citation needed] between the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox, and, particularly, how every story about the two teams is overblown, while the same story in the context of another team won't make national headlines. Wilbon will say this whenever a show topic involving the rivalry will come up, using a faux-Boston accent when saying "Sox" to make it sound like "Sawks".[4]

  • The apparent (though not definite) origin of this phrase seems to have been in a show dating from October 2003, just days after the end of the 2003 World Series. As the Yankees had made it to the series (losing to the Florida Marlins) and had played Boston in the ALCS, the headline topic on the show concerned the off-season "arms race" (to use Wilbon's term) between the two teams, specifically the attempts by Boston to trade for Alex Rodriguez (who ultimately ended up with the Yankees). Wilbon was infuriated that the show had to talk about baseball with the World Series just barely over, and continued to harass Kornheiser about his love of the "Yanks-Sawks" rivalry throughout the rest of that day's show. It's unclear whether this episode was the origin of the phrase's use by Wilbon.
  • At one point in the 2003-04 off-season, instead of just whispering, "PTI!" to close the show, Kornheiser whispered, "PTI loves the Yanks and the Sawks!" Wilbon, using a phrase from the "Men On Film" sketch from the TV show In Living Color, said, "HATE IT!!!"
  • During the aftermath of the Chicago White Sox World Series championship in 2005, Wilbon acerbically asked if Kornheiser was referring to the White Sox, instead of the Red Sawks. He seldom brings up the White Sox in that particular context anymore.

[edit] Tony's Loves

Kornheiser often makes self-deprecating references to his alleged "old age", saying, for instance, that when he was younger he used to "run with" Engelbert Humperdinck. The most famous manifestation of this is his affection (or professed affection anyway) for such famous older women as Rue McClanahan and Bea Arthur (from The Golden Girls TV series), Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and the "Fragile French Judge" (Marie-Reine Le Gougne), among others. Anytime any beautiful girl is mentioned Wilbon says he prefers Jessica Alba. Wilbon has dubbed him an "expert" in this field, as he likes to start out the "Happy" segments of the show with a birthday of an older woman.

[edit] "You Play to Win the Game"

During the 2002 NFL season, then-New York Jets head coach Herman Edwards made this statement during a press conference.[5] This has become a favorite phrase between both Kornheiser and Wilbon, and has been used recently after Herm was on the show.

[edit] The Hate-able Dan Le Batard

Miami Herald columnist Dan Le Batard had a rather cold reception from fans following his first PTI guest appearance in 2004, who deluged ESPN with anti-Le Batard e-mails. Le Batard is a regular guest on the show when Kornheiser or Wilbon are away, and is often referred to as the "Hateable Dan Le Batard". As of late, the show's crew has habitually booed Le Batard during his introduction. In the 1000th episode celebration, Reali can be heard screaming "I hate Le Batard!" from across the studio. On the July 3, 2007 episode, Reali could also be heard chucking many insults at Le Batard such as, "You are dead to me Le Batard! Dead to me!". Le Batard was also named as one of the biggest turkeys of the year on the 2006 Thanksgiving edition of PTI. At the beginning of one show, Le Batard opened with "Hey everyone, I'm Dan Le Batard or, as one e-mail called me, Dan Le Ba-turd." To which Kornheiser replied, "Oh, you got my e-mail!"

[edit] He Who Shall Not Be Named

Kornheiser's nickname for Chicago Sun-Times journalist, Around the Horn panelist, and occasional PTI guest host Jay Mariotti, on account of his feud with Kornheiser.[6]

[edit] Stick Figure

"Stick Figure" has been Kornheiser's derisive term for Yao Ming when the Chinese-born 7'6" center first entered the NBA. With his high level of recent play, Wilbon enjoys reminding Kornheiser of his predictions of failure for Ming, recalling the term. Wilbon has also called Kornheiser on this during the Houston Rockets recent win streak during which Yao was lost for the season.

[edit] Tony's Day Off

Wilbon frequently jokes at Kornheiser's so-called whereabout while off, particularly during long breaks when guest hosts are filling in, and often refers to him "Uncle Tony" or "Old Man Kornheiser".

[edit] Uranus!

Kornheiser has been very fond using Uranus jokes (as in the "Your anus" pun) on the show, particularly during the show's opening (Wilbon, understandably, finds these jokes highly immature, and often responds with a very loud and sarcastic laugh). On March 26, 2006, the anniversary of the planet's 1781 discovery by astronomer William Herschel, Kornheiser celebrated the planet Uranus's 225th "birthday" during the "Happy Time" segment. On July 12, 2006, Dan Le Batard, on a day when Kornhesier was absent, referenced Kornheiser (as he often does with Wilbon) by making a "Uranus joke" during the opening in response to Wilbon's statement about the Discovery shuttle crew losing a spatula.

[edit] Addressing the audience

  • Kornhesier will sometimes address the audience with either "brothers from another mother" or "sisters from another mister".
  • Wilbon's affectionate term for the PTI audience is 'Knuckleheads'.[7] It is usually used as a send off at the end of an episode.

[edit] The PTI Sign

A sign of the PTI logo on a stick held up by Kornhesier at the end of the show. In an imitation of the show's closing animation, he waves the sign in front of his face.

Note: Sometimes, Kornheiser whispers "PTI" at the end of the show just before the camera cuts out and shows the PTI logo on a black background accompanied by a recording of "PTI" being whispered by a woman's voice.

[edit] Anthony Joseph Reali

Reali moderates the Over/Under and Odds Makers segments. Rather than introduce him as "Stat Boy," Kornheiser (or Wilbon when Kornheiser is absent or the guest host when both are absent) usually refers to Reali's actual name but starting with the April 10, 2006 episode Kornheiser used Reali's first, middle, and last name. That would soon become a regular occurrence that becomes humorous when Reali is given other middle names, which are the first and last names of famous people. However, as Over/Under has been used less, Reali does not receive a nickname at the beginning of that segment anymore (except May 21, 2008 when he was given Cristiano Ronaldo as middle names).

[edit] Bam!

A flashy entry that Le Batard tried to popularize during a run as fill-in for Kornheiser, who put it down immediately upon return. Le Batard appropriated the word from, and to parody, cooking-show host Emeril Lagasse. He now calls himself "Dan LeBAMatard!" On November 1, 2006 Dan repeatedly sang (or shouted) "Bam" rather than lyrics to the melodies of various songs just before and after commercial breaks. On July 13, 2007, Wilbon asked if viewers if they were nervous about Friday the 13th - Le Batard appeared with a devil's pitchfork and yelled with a deep voice, "BAM!" For the rest of the following week, Le Batard opened every show with "BAM!" to Wilbon's dismay.

[edit] Squa-doosh

Currently used by both Wilbon and Kornheiser, and especially by Reali during Odds Makers, to indicate zero (0). Repeated zeroes can result in a double- or triple-squa-doosh. On October 11, 2007, Wilbon archived a "quintuple-squa-doosh" by providing a response of 0% to all five Odds Makers questions.

[edit] Le Batard vs. Reali on Odds Makers

During the "Odds Makers" game, Le Batard annoys Reali to no end by constantly just selecting one percentage point above or below his opponent's selection for every topic. This antipathy had apparently dissipated as on the November 1, 2006 show, Reali declared Le Batard the winner in Odds Makers for the first time in the history of the segment. On March 8, 2007, though, Le Batard once again pulled the same stunt, including a vote of "99 1/2 percent" (to Tony's 98%), outraging an amused Reali, who berated him, "Dan, there's a reason why we get emails calling you Le Bafart, Le Baturd, Le Bajerk..." Reali expresses wariness every time Le Batard plays "Odds Makers", fearing what he refers to as "a joke performance".

[edit] Badmouthing the guest behind his/her back

At the conclusion of Five Good Minutes, Kornheiser will occasionally throw to break by saying that when they return, Wilbon will talk smack about the guest behind his/her back. On rare occasions (especially when Kornheiser is on the road) Wilbon will turn the gag around on Kornheiser.

[edit] Middle initial

Some sports personalities have been referred to with the middle initial "F," in place of a profanity, perhaps inspired by Red Sox fans referring to former New York Yankees shortstop and 1978 playoff hero as "Bucky F. Dent." The most notable examples are "Donovan F. McNabb"[2] and Baltimore Ravens head coach "Brian F. Billick."

[edit] The hot tub at Wilbon's

When listing three personalities that will be discussed in the Happy Time or The Big Finish segments, Kornheiser will follow up by stating "now that sounds like the hot tub at Wilbon's!" or "which one are you kicking out of your hot tub, Wilbon?" The gag has become so prominent that a sign pointing in the direction of the supposed hot tub resides on the set.

[edit] Goodnight, Canada

Starting in 2006, Kornheiser started waving a maple leaf flag at the end of the regular PTI show (before the extra Sportscenter segment) and say "Goodnight, Canada." PTI is shown on TSN in Canada, which does not air the last segment. He has said goodnight to a few other countries, most notably using the signoff, "Stay Classy, Finland." This was done as a reference to the sign-off used by Will Ferrell as Ron Burgundy in the film Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.

[edit] Tony and the bus

Wilbon making a crack at Kornheiser's reluctance to fly, usually due to the Monday Night Football schedule. After Week 3, he commented that they had to drug Kornheiser to get him on the plane and back in time for the taping of PTI.

[edit] PTI travel blazer

Red blazers with a PTI logo on the breast were given to Kornheiser and Wilbon when they broadcast from the site of the first Monday Night Football with Kornheiser as part of the announcing team. Wilbon has refused to wear the jacket since that first week while Kornheiser wears his blazer proudly, and has added other garish colors over the last season. Kornheiser recently offered to retire the blazer if basketball legend Charles Barkley would agree to be a contestant on the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars.

[edit] The Penguin Dance

Kornheiser had invented a so-called "penguin dance" which he started using on the show in April 2006. He claims that it is "sweeping the nation", but Wilbon found it annoying. On May 12, 2006, Bob Ryan filled in for Kornheiser and performed the penguin dance in his absence.[8] On June 8, 2006, when PTI showed footage of penguins playing soccer, Kornheiser stated that he wants to see them do the penguin dance after they score, and Wilbon announced that he was sick of the clip after just one showing. On August 8, 2006, Kornheiser did the penguin dance, anointing himself the winner of "Toss-Up" before the segment had started in order to doubly annoy Wilbon. The Penguin Dance is only seldom done now, including on April 13, 2007, when Wilbon made a reference to the Pittsburgh Penguins. Most recently, Kornheiser performed the penguin dance during the opening sequence on June 25, 2007, when Wilbon said that scientists in Peru have found the bones of five-foot-tall penguins. April 8, 2008 featured a penguin dance during the Big Finish segment.

[edit] The Angry Crab

On an episode of PTI, Wilbon asked Kornheiser what he would do if he lost his job. Kornheiser replied that he would "get back into porn". He jokingly stated that he needed money in the late sixties and also, that his signature move was called "The Angry Crab". Kornheiser continues to refer to "The Angry Crab" on many episodes.

[edit] Greg Oden's Age

During the 2006-07 college basketball season, Kornheiser noted that Ohio State University player Greg Oden looks older than his years, commenting that he looks like the "Old LeBron" from LeBron James's commercials. At one point Kornheiser remarked incredulously, "He's been shaving since 1975!" While discussing Oden's blog on the June 12, 2007 show, Kornheiser quipped, "He's 62 years old, anyway," when his emotional maturity was praised. Kornheiser previously made similar jokes at soccer player Freddy Adu for the same reason.

[edit] Dikembe Mutombo's Voice

Wilbon and Kornheiser both express love for Dikembe Mutombo's "Cookie Monster" voice. Wilbon loves to do voice impressions of Mutombo's voice, which Kornheiser eagerly encourages but cannot do very well himself.

[edit] Make it rain!

Wilbon started using the phrase "make it rain" after Pacman Jones's incident during the 2007 NBA All-Star weekend in Las Vegas, Nevada. To "make it rain" is an expression, popularized in hip-hop music by the likes of Lil Wayne, for tossing up excessive amounts of dollar bills inside of a strip club and showering it over the strippers and onto the floor, to give the effect that it is raining cash for the dancers. Wilbon and Kornheiser appear to be fond of this expression and as of April 27, 2007, Tony has also picked up talking about his intentions to "Make it rain!"

[edit] Get me a Sammich!

After the O.J. Mayo story had aired, in which he wouldn't give USC basketball coach Tim Floyd his cell phone number or any other information, Wilbon declared that Mayo had unlimited control over Floyd, and said, "Coach, get me a sammich!". The gag has been repeated any time a certain sports figure "owns" another.

[edit] No guest today

Recently, PTI has been omitting the Five Good Minutes segment more often than in the past, leading to another Headlines segment. On these occasions, Kornheiser would say "No guest today, or as (random sports figure or people) would say," with Wilbon responding often with a weak accent.

  • Wilbon as Shaquille O'Neal: "Hey. Bro. No guest today. Forget about it."
  • Wilbon as Dikembe Mutombo: "No guest today. Not in my house." (Mutombo is known for swatting away a shot, wagging his index finger, and saying, "Not in my house!" as in his home arena.)

When Dan Le Batard is subbing for Kornheiser and there is no guest for Five Good Minutes, Wilbon often jokes that the segment is being omitted because nobody is willing to be co-interviewed by Le Batard.

[edit] Toss-Up/Odds Makers

Whenever Kornheiser and Wilbon square off in "Toss-Up", Kornheiser has always declared himself the winner, loudly and assuredly, saying such lines as, "Well, whaddaya know? I WIN!" or "Of course, I win. The streak continues!" The only times Wilbon officially "won" were against guests (Le Batard, Ryan) or when Kornheiser was on the road. However, as of late Reali and Wilbon have paid Kornheiser back during the Odds Maker segments, with Wilbon having won almost every match-up.

[edit] A PTI investigation!

When going to commercial break and discussing the upcoming stories on PTI, one of the hosts will proclaim to be launching "a PTI investigation" into a story that seems unbelievable. The story discussed is usually something indirectly related to sports, in that it involves a sports figure, or a cultural topic making news.

[edit] Past gags

[edit] The trampoline bear

Kornheiser's beloved trampoline bear
Kornheiser's beloved trampoline bear

A large brown bear stuck in a tree in Missoula, Montana[9] is shown being shot with a tranquilizer dart and falling onto a large trampoline, as originally seen on KOMO 4, a Seattle television station.[10] The bear bounces so high off of the trampoline that it, ultimately, lands head-first on the ground below. Reali once appeared on the show as a bear heavily bandaged during the peak of this gag's saturation. Warren Sapp has proclaimed himself a fan of the video and requested it to be shown during an interview in 2004. On January 29, 2007, Sapp was interviewed on the Five Good Minutes segment. After the segment was over, he requested the video, which was shown much to Kornhieser's pleasure. Wilbon, however, dislikes the clip immensely. In 2004, it was shown on a semi-regular basis, but is now used only on special occasions. The video was parodied on the January 4, 2007 episode of My Name Is Earl, with Randy Hickey in the place of the bear. The trampoline bear video returned on March 6, 2008 at the end of an interview with Warren Sapp.

[edit] Man vs. Beast

In 2003, FOX aired a one-night reality special called Man vs. Beast, featuring humans that are at the top of their particular athletic field being challenged to a competition against an animal. One such competition was a hot dog-eating contest between Takeru Kobayashi and a black bear, which the bear easily won. Kornheiser loved the program and even spent three segments of the show discussing and reviewing it. He remains especially enamored of a quote by Man vs. Beast color analyst Carl Lewis, who suggested during the telecast that one key to a zebra beating Shawn Crawford in a forthcoming sprint race was the zebra's 'focus.'[11]

[edit] Wilbon's pants

Early during the run of the show, Kornheiser would make fun of the fact Wilbon always wore shorts instead of pants, while wearing a jacket and buttoned-up polo shirt. Often, the camera would pull back to reveal the fact that Wilbon indeed was only wearing shorts. More recently, during the hot days of summer, Kornhesier has stated that Wilbon is wearing no pants at all. He'd occasionally throw a pant jab out when Whitlock was hosting, which usually gets no response. During the October 31, 2006 edition, Wilbon appeared on the SportsCenter set to tease the next PTI topic wearing a suit with slacks. It was a rare occasion, outside of his Sports Reporters appearances, when Wilbon has ever been seen on camera wearing dress slacks.

[edit] "Do the Mavericks have enough defense to win in the playoffs?"

During the 2002-03 NBA season the Dallas Mavericks had an explosive high-powered offense that was coupled with a porous, terrible defense. It was debated ad nauseam whether this "outscore the other team" philosophy would be successful in the playoffs to the point where the question "Do the Mavericks have enough defense to win in the playoffs?" was referenced when any debate became monotonous.

[edit] Beano Cook

A long-running, though now-defunct running gag involved continual references (often with little or no context) to ESPN commentator and college football expert Beano Cook.[12] (Example: In the December 9, 2003, show's opening, Wilbon announced that Gwyneth Paltrow was pregnant; Kornheiser responded: "Beano Cook, gettin' it done again!") However, neither Kornheiser nor Wilbon has used a "Beano" joke since early 2004.

[edit] Tony's punishment

A past popular saying of Kornheiser's was that he and/or Wilbon would, upon hearing news of a player, coach, or fan(s) acting out of hand, proclaim that the team/league/police in question should "prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law!"[13] For a while, this was one of the show's most widely used catch phrases, but since early 2005 has been used only sparingly, if at all, by the two.

[edit] Marat Safin's Girlfriend

One Monday in 2005, Kornheiser got hold of video of the girlfriend of Russian tennis player Marat Safin cheering him on at a match, and continually played the video for the rest of that week, professing to have a crush on her, and stated that she was "Top Five Worldwide." He even went as far as to originate the idea to send Safin himself to the Moon (simply as a joke, of course), to which Reali replied that Kornheiser was "absolutely ridiculous."

[edit] References

  1. ^ Douglas, Rowe. "Successful MNF debuts by Kornheiser, Tirico", Associated Press, 2006-08-18.
  2. ^ a b The Chad House transcript, Washington Post, 2005-02-07.
  3. ^ YouTube - Joe Namath Drunk
  4. ^ PTI - May 11, 2005
  5. ^ Edwards, Herman (2004). You Play to Win The Game, ISBN 0071445099.
  6. ^ Website discussing Kornheiser/Mariotti feud
  7. ^ TV.com - Michael Wilbon
  8. ^ Yahoo! Groups
  9. ^ "Follow The Bouncing Bear", KOMO, 2003-09-10.
  10. ^ Bear on a trampoline, YouTube.
  11. ^ Man vs Beast, YouTube.
  12. ^ Chat with Beano Cook, ESPN.com.
  13. ^ The Chat House transcript, Washington Post, 2004-02-20.

[edit] External links

[edit] See also