Rights and obligations of spouses in Islam

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Islam advocates a subservient relationship between husband and wife. It puts the main responsibility of earning over the husband. Both are obliged to fulfill the other's sexual needs. Husbands are asked to be kind to their wives and wives are asked to be obedient to their husbands. However, in case of rebellious behaviour, the husband is asked to urge his wife to mend her ways, to refuse to share their beds and husbands are not allowed to admonish their wives by beating.

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[edit] Gender roles

Main article: Gender roles in Islam

In many Islamic societies, there is a division of roles creating a woman’s space in the private sphere of the home and a man’s in the public sphere.[1] A woman's primary responsibility is usually interpreted as fulfilling her role as a wife and mother,[2] whereas a man’s role is to work and be able to financially support his wife and family.[3]

[edit] Domestic violence and behaviour with rebellious wives

In case of rebellious behaviour, Verse 34 of an-Nisa says the husband should urge his wife to mend her ways, to refuse to share their beds, and to admonish their wives by beating.[4]

There is conflict within Islamic scholars about the proper interpretation of this and related texts. Some scholars urge that idribûhunna, normally translated as "beat," should instead be translated as "separate." There is also conflict about the proper severity of beatings, and whether the aforementioned remedies for rebellion must be taken in sequence. Some scholars say that beating should be used only as a last resort, and that not beating is preferable to beating.

[edit] Sexual relations

Main article: Sexuality in Islam

Except a few restrictions of having sex during menstruation and anal sex, Islam advocates pleasure from sex between husband and wife.

As Qur'an states:

And they ask you about menstruation. Tell them: It is a kind of impurity. So keep away from women during their menstrual periods and do not approach them until they are in a state of purity. Then when they are clean after having bathed, go to them from where God has enjoined you. Indeed, God loves those who constantly repent and keep themselves clean. These women of yours are your cultivated land; go, then, into your lands in any manner you please [and through this] plan for the future [of both this and the next world] and remain fearful of God. Bear in mind that you shall meet Him [one day]. And [O Prophet] Give good tidings [of success and salvation] to the believers [on that Day].

Qur'an[Qur'an 2:222]

And from among His (i.e. God's) signs is that He created for you your pairs, of your own kind so that you may get satisfaction and gratification from them and He has therefore kept in you love and mercy for the other.

Qur'an[Qur'an 30:21]

Husbands are asked to satisfy the sexual desires of their wives and vice versa although greater emphasis is placed on male sexuality. As it is attributed to Muhammad:

  • “Not one of you should fall upon his wife like an animal; but let there first be a messenger between you.” “And what is that messenger?” they asked, and he replied: “Kisses and words.”
  • “When one of you have sex with your wife, it is a rewarded act of charity.” The Companions were surprised and said, “But we do it purely out of our desire. How can it be counted as charity?” The Prophet replied, “If you had done it with a forbidden woman, it would have been counted as a sin, but if you do it in legitimacy, it is counted as charity.”
  • “No solution is ever better for two people who are in love like marriage.”

Also in hadith:

  • If a man invites his wife to sleep with him and she refuses, then the angels send their curses on her till morning. Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 7, No. 121-2
  • When a man sends for his wife for the satisfaction of his need, she should go to him even if she may be occupied in baking bread. Reported by Tirmidhi and Nisai, No. 284

[edit] See also

[edit] Bibliography

[edit] References

  1. ^ Hessini, L., 1994, Wearing the Hijab in Contemporary Morocco: Choice and Identity, in Göçek, F. M. & Balaghi, S., Reconstructing Gender in the Middle East: Tradition, Identity & Power, New York, Columbia University Press
  2. ^ Ahmed, L., 1992, Women and Gender in Islam: Historical Roots of a Modern Debate, New Haven, Yale University Press.
  3. ^ Hessini, L., 1994, Wearing the Hijab in Contemporary Morocco: Choice and Identity, in Göçek, F. M. & Balaghi, S., Reconstructing Gender in the Middle East: Tradition, Identity & Power, New York, Columbia University Press
  4. ^ Ibn Kathir, “Tafsir of Ibn Kathir”, Al-Firdous Ltd., London, 2000, 50-53