Wikipedia:Reach out

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Reach out...

No one can know how we feel if we do not say. We cannot expect to get understanding if we do not ask for it. No one will dispute that sometimes life's issues are too much for one person. It is fair to say that sometimes Wikipedia's problems fall under the same heading. This is a place where you can bring the bruises that are sometimes gotten as an editor.

Guidelines for respondents:
  1. Assume good faith. Accept that what a person has to say is a legitimate perception of how they see it. Right or wrong, that is their perception.
  2. Be helpful. If someone is here, it is because something has gone wrong. The right way to solve problems does not cause grief. If you solve the problem the right way, the grief will dissolve.
  3. Listen to what someone has to say. It's not uncommon for a listener to stop processing information after the first sentence. Allow yourself to hear the full message before you respond.
  4. Be positive. Suggest what someone ought to do, not what they ought not to do. Note the good things the person has done.
  5. Be supportive. Except for the worst of the worst, we desire to keep most users. No matter how wrong the person requesting help is, find the pearl of value they provide and focus on that.
  6. Provide all feedback on this page. Doing so will allow others to benefit from the advice if they encounter similar situations.


N734LQ 06:45, 12 August 2007 (UTC)

  1. Prior to January 2007






Contents

[edit] Welcome to Reach Out

We are discussing how to best use this project to reach Wikipedians in trouble without creating bureaucracy and to help people edit the encyclopedia. Join the discussion on the talk page.--ElaragirlTalk|Count 02:05, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

[edit] I try to be an honest person...

...but it seems others don't see the world the way I do. I'm a broken man, and I just don't see any reason to do much of anything, including eat or sleep. No, I'm not suicidal, because I know it'll pass, but it hurts like hell and I just want it to go away. I don't expect any kind of notice or responses, but if anybody reads this at all, at least I feel that somebody out there has noticed me. I blanked my user page a couple days ago, and nobody noticed. I probably won't be especially active until I can be motivated by anything but hurt and outrage. – ClockworkSoul 20:59, 2 January 2007 (UTC) Recopied from archive page - --ElaragirlTalk|Count 02:04, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

Hey, its all right. You try to be an honest person, but other people do not understand you, is that right? Just let it pass, or you can try to change your point of view...I know how you feel, I'm like that too. It's just that maybe people are sometimes unclear of what you mean, so you must speak up! I just sort of got over it, I don't bother anymore. Why should people affect how I feel about things? You should do the same. Try to make people understand. If anyone can, it's you! You're trying to be honest, and that's a good thing, but sometimes, I learn to let the moment go...you don't have to be honest about everything, just when you think the time is right. Hope this helps, and I hope you feel better soon! Cheers! Zacharycrimsonwolf 13:14, 14 November 2006 (UTC) 12:44, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

Clockwork Soul, I hear you. It sounds like the last time I had my heart really broken. I couldn't eat, and lost 40 pounds (which actually was kinda nice). I slept though - all day. I have some tips for you and anyone else going through some stuff right now:

  • Look through the eyes of the other person - everyone is different and sees things differently. Try to look at it from another point of voice and avoid prejudice.
  • Take B complex - this helps elevate your mood and energy level, it also literally coats the nerve endings. It's both elevating and soothing at the same time. You can't take too much - most of the B vitamins are water soluble. If you take a complex, the one's that are difficult to process by the body are minimized.
  • Get as much natural light as you can - another thing that hits is the the diminished sunlight this time of year. Seasonal Affective Depression (or Disorder) have been proven as very real, and easily remedied. If you can afford it, invest in some "grow" lights.
  • Talk to people - reconnect with as many supportive people you can. Or perhaps just pick up the phone, or answer an email. You don't have to be perfect when you communicate, just communicate. It's important to maintain connections when everything goes "pale".
  • Get out of your space at least every day - not just to go to work, but to some other "safe" place, such as a library, or a museum. Just seeing other people helps.
  • Fake it till you make it - an oldie but a goodie. This has been scientifically proven to work. If you can plaster a semi-genuine smile on your face when you walk out the door, people will respond, and it can generate a cycle of positive feeling.

These are just some of the tips I have for battling depression. Please try not to sleep to much - it tends to exacerbate things. I know you're not exactly talking about depression, but these things work for heartache and malaise as well. If you ever need to dialog, email or tap a message on my talk page. I care about you. Please believe that, because I don't lie. Nina Odell 05:58, 4 January 2007 (UTC)

  • relax and take a little break. Don't let it hurt you. You know what, no one see anything the exact same way, so don't stress yourself. I hope that helped. Bloddyfriday 16:05, 13 March 2007 (UTC)


  • Everyone is unique, don't stress over it. Sometimes I feel the same way about not getting enough attention. Try taking a short wikibreak / drinking some Chamomile tea, that always works for me. I hope that this helps in any way.  ~Steptrip 00:23, 26 March 2007 (UTC)
If you don't feel appreciated on Wikipedia, head over to the Help desk and start answering questions. See: Wikipedia:Help desk/How to answer for everything you need to become an expert Help desk helper. Or try answering questions on one of the other question desks. Helping others is a great way to get your mind off your own problems. So is riding a bicycle. --Teratornis 17:36, 27 June 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Maybe offtopic also: asking for some experience on serious wikiholism

Please, can someone help with a suggestion on how can I reduce the number of pages I watch, but in the meantime not to come to another temptation to become a wiki junkie. Actually this problem I don't have on this wikipedia (it is on sr:), although I think it could spread here. I simply thought that there is more collective experience in here - it is more probable that someone who had a similar problem could be watching this edit and maybe replying it.

So this is the problem in short: the actual number on my watchlist is something more than 2000, so I think that manually going through it would be exhausting. Also often when I log on to wiki, I become distracted by many links and already I see myself pressing the watch button even if I don't even make an edit to the page. Any ideas? Please, soon, I am pretty stressed because of this - I think I am quite an addict already. I took some wikivacation in the past, but I've had several complaints by my nearests recently again. Recidivist, that's what I am. But there is a chance for me - I keep the User:The Singing Badger on my watchlist, because it is terrifying me. And I reached out, haven't I. So, please, someone respond. --Biblbroks's talk 20:44, 12 May 2007 (UTC)

If you'd go through your watchlist manually, you'd probably get exhausted indeed, and most likely you'd even enlarge it because of all the other interesting stuff you'd see if you'd click a link when assessing whether that article should stay on your watchlist. There's probably a couple of pages that you really, really care about: pages you've created, or pages you've made a lot of edits to. There are ways to figure that out (for instance [1], I don't know if that works for the other languages too), and my suggestion would be to select the (20, 30, 50?) articles that you really, really care about. Are there a couple of Wikipedians that you want to keep in touch with? Ok, make a top X too. Post all that in some text file, or your sandbox. Then clear out your total watchlist. All of it. And make a new one from the articles and pages that you just collected.
The problem seems to be more than just the watchlist though, I acknowledge that. But I'm getting the idea that your watchlist is actually the cause of some stress for you, so perhaps this is a bold but necessary step to change that. --JoanneB 21:57, 12 May 2007 (UTC)
Just a note, so someone can learn from my experience. I cleared the watchlist long ago. It helped. Thanx for this. --Biblbroks's talk 13:48, 12 August 2007 (UTC)

[edit] I try my best...but

But this is just the last straw. I try to be helpful, patient and supportive. And it went well with a person. Until he suddenly started throwing insults at me. Most of the time, its a joke, I think. But everyday. I cracked inside. And that's not the end. He, who says I am his best friend, ignored me. And what do I do now? It just doesn't work out. I try talking, asking, being there for him, everything, nothing works. All I get is a few sentences from him. I don't think I heard a 'thank you' from him for a few months now..what do I do? Confront him? That my last resort -Zacharycrimsonwolf 14:10, 12 June 2007 (UTC)

It sounds to me that something is going on in his life that's pretty bad. I think the best way to proceed would be to (very calmly and considerately) ask him about it. It might sound difficult, but being direct and compassionate at the same time is often the best way to resolve things like this. .V. [Talk|Email] 02:59, 13 June 2007 (UTC)
Yeah, that is the only thing I'm thinking about now. But..I still think its a bad idea. A lot of people had said that was my only way out of this, but I think that doing it would be even worse than doing nothing. By the way, thanks for the support. Cheers. -Zacharycrimsonwolf 13:44, 13 June 2007 (UTC)
If you need to feel appreciated, there's plenty waiting for you on the Help desk. Just hang out and answer questions. Since Help desk questions are pretty repetitive, you can learn how to answer most of them just by reading answers from other Help desk helpers, or by searching the old Help desk answers with Google. Plus, once you answer a user's question, it's generally over. We don't get into edit wars on the Help desk, although we write about how to avoid or resolve them. --Teratornis 17:42, 27 June 2007 (UTC)

[edit] I had enough

Everyone LOVES insulting me it seems. Everyone LOVES to fight me. Everyone LOVES to treat me like I'm the reincarnation of Adolf Hitler. Everyone LOVES to find small faults in my editing pattern and use it to try to give me a hard time. "Selmo, your a vandal" "Selmo, your a troll for dare shoving your propaganda into articles when you know it violates one of Wikipedia's CORE POLICIES." "Selmo, I hate you" They always love to make me feel bad. They always insult me. They want me to feel badly for dare editing. "You don't understand policy you rotton person". I don't know. I'm sick of people targeting me. — Selmo (talk) 22:34, 1 August 2007 (UTC)

I think you're seeing any criticisms of your edits as an attack on you, personally. It doesn't need to be this way. Consider taking a break. Come back later refreshed, and maybe these things that seem personal now won't seem so personal. Friday (talk) 22:44, 1 August 2007 (UTC)
    • Selmo, after viewing your userpage, I'm well assured that you are a competent editor, and that you did nothing maliciously. You seem like a wonderful person, so, I say, happy editing!N734LQ 06:45, 12 August 2007 (UTC)