Talk:Prospect Mountain Veterans Memorial Highway
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[edit] GA review
Needs work on the lead and the prose.
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose): b (MoS):
- Prose needs work as well as trimming down the lead and moving data that is only discussed in the lead into the body of the article
- a (prose): b (MoS):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- It is stable.
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
Comments
- The Lead section discusses information that is not given in the body of the article. Per WP:LEDE, the lead should summarize information in the body of the article. It is also almost as long as the article it self, which unbalances the article. IT should probably only be one paragraph long, given the short size of the article.
- The history section, the first paragraph, "the house at the top where people could dance, eat and have fun." is not very encyclopedic in tone. Consider rewording.
- Likewise "For 30 years, people studied what to do with the mountain." isn't very encyclopedic. Was it state owned land? Was it already a park?
- "New York Governor Tom Dewey signed a legislation" is grammatically incorrect. Remove the "a".
- The next sentence also needs to have "now" replaced with "then"
- Last sentence instead of "dedicating it" it should be "dedicated to war veterans"
- The prose could use some tightening up and copyediting, I cannot promise I caught all the grammar mistakes.
I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on. Ealdgyth - Talk 13:51, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
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