Penis Song (Not the Noel Coward Song)
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- Note: an unrelated song titled, The Penis Song, appears on the 2001 album Funktronic by Momus.
"The Penis Song" is a song originally from the film Monty Python's The Meaning of Life and released on the album Monty Python Sings.
In the film, it is sung by Eric Idle at a piano in the persona of a Noel Coward-style lounge singer: hence the sub-title of the song "Not the Noel Coward Song."
Beginning by addressing his audience, the singer says "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Here's a little number I tossed off recently in the Caribbean." This opening innuendo is the opening gambit to a series to euphemisms for male genitalia. The overall message of the song appears to be summed up in its opening line: "Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?"
Euphemisms within the song include:
- Dong
- Stiffy
- Dick
- Tadger
- Prick
- Willy
- John Thomas
- One-eyed trouser snake
- Piece of pork
- Wife's best friend
- Percy
- Cock
The final segment of the song advises that if you "take it out in public," then "they will stick you in the dock," a reference to the part of a British courtroom where the defendant stands.
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