Wikipedia:Peer review/Shapinsay/archive1

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[edit] Shapinsay

I've listed this article for peer review because it has recently passed GA and I would like to see it become a Featured Article in the near future. I'm looking for suggestions to help achieve that.


Thanks,

Lurker (said · done) 15:53, 12 November 2007 (UTC)

  • A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 19:48, 12 November 2007 (UTC)

Comments by Jza84:

Generally a sound article, broad in coverage, (almost-)neutral in prose and has a good layout. There are a few issues though that need addressing should this article be going for FA in the near future:

  • Images shouldn't generally have their size set when accompanying text - that tier of formatting should be removed (see WP:IMAGE and Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style#Images).
  • According to Orkney, (and a cursory look at Google!) "Orkney islands" should be capitalised to Orkney Islands.
  • Perhaps link Scottish baronial style in the lead? I wasn't sure if it was a real style of architecture.
  • Shapinsay has a population of 300 - source for verification should be made clearer from the start.
  • Geology and Flora and Fauna (perhaps itself renamed to Ecology?) become subsections of Geography? They are sub-studies of geography.
  • Demographics should be renamed Demography. Demographics is poor grammar, and the other sections would otherwise be named Histographics, Geographics, and Economics.
  • Lots of stubby one-sentence paragraphs, which are a no-no for FAC.
  • Per WP:MOSDATE (and WP:HEAD) 18th Century should be titled 18th century. Under Folklore, 1905 should be unlinked.
  • "Balfour Castle dominates the south-west of the island" - I know what you mean, but perhaps describe how. Is it in terms of built environment, or land use. "It is also the first building that visitors arriving on the ferry will see" - I'm being pedantic, but how can you be sure? Are there never exceptional circumstances (mist, night, vision impairment, change of course)? The statement isn't quite supported by the source.
  • There is alot of grammatical redundancy and innocent POV. "The highest point of Ward Hill is only 64 metres (210 ft) above sea level" - 'only is neither helpful, neutral or needed. Other words like "still, many, also, greatly, only, much, has, some", are all symptomatic of a lack of a copy-edit.

I hope these points help rather than hinder. They are, of course, just suggestions, -- Jza84 · (talk) 14:49, 14 November 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for your feedback. I don't agree with it all, but have implemented a lot of your suggestions. Lurker (said · done) 12:45, 27 November 2007 (UTC)