Wikipedia:Peer review/Gettysburg Address/archive1

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[edit] Previous Peer Review

I would appreciate comments on how to transform this article into a future Feature Article. BartBenjamin 15:08, 15 October 2005 (UTC)

IMO the section titles are awkward, for example, "how the address came to be." Also, the article is about the Gettsburg Address, but the text of the actual address doesn't appear until 2/3 of the way down. I would restructure this as (1) Introduction (2) Text of Address and then (3)(4) etc. being context, versions, implications, etc. Hope this helps. Kaisershatner 18:34, 18 October 2005 (UTC)

Hmmmm. This needs a bit of a rewrite I think - the main problem is that it's too quote-heavy and a bit too intructive. For example, instead of "The five known manuscript copies are as follows" - I think it would better just saying that there are five and then proceeding to describe them etc.. "Modern analysis" for example should be paraphrased instead of direct quotations. I'd use ref/note combos for stuff like "Bliss Copy, page 1 " etc. too. Hope that helps. Ryan Norton ^{T | @ | C} 22:04, 21 October 2005 (UTC)

[edit] First round of Peer Review updates have been made

I made numerous stylistic and formatting changes to the article, based largely on comments received via the Peer Review process. BartBenjamin 21:04, 18 Nov 2005 (UTC)