Wikipedia:Peer review/Georgi Kinkladze/archive1

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[edit] Georgi Kinkladze

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This is a current good article about a recently retired Georgian footballer, with a format nominally based upon that of featured article Gilberto Silva. I'm looking for comments with a view to a possible featured article nomination at some point in the future. Oldelpaso (talk) 15:06, 26 January 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)

Hey Oldelpaso, I seem to recall providing comments at the GA so it's a pleasure to keep this article going on its journey!

  • I think I said it before, it's worthwhile creating a stub (at least) for Mretebi Tbilisi.
    • I've now managed to get enough info for an article. Quite a sad tale really, fallout from the Kinkladze transfer ended up destroying the club. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Oldelpaso (talk • contribs) 13:31, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
  • "...award in consecutive ..." - how many? I'm guessing two.
    • done.
  • "... joined Mretebi Tbilisi,..." just like that? He joined a pro club, did he get a contract etc?
    • added a little more detail.
  • "Dynamo Tbilisi" vs "Dinamo" - consistency required.
    • changed to I's throughout.
  • " As the hostilities continued, in 1993 the Tbilisi management sought to put their players in a more stable environment." - I'm confused because by this point I thought he'd been resigned by Dinamo/Dynamo?
    • the Dinamo Tbilisi management (both clubs were from Tbilisi). Inserted "Dinamo" to make it clearer.
  • "Career in Georgia" section is a little oddly titled considering you've already discussed two or three seasons of pro football in Georgia in the preceding section.
  • " Dinamo president Merad Jordania was still uncomfortable with Kinkladze playing in Georgia amid political instability, and offered the player to Atletico Madrid for approximately £200,000." was there a motive for Jordania's seemingly amazing altruism and humanity here? Selling a player because he was worried about the political situation? This needs explanation I think. Ah, reading the next section it was a loan I think. It's not clear... Perhaps that was why I was confused earlier about the Tblisi/Dynamo thing?
    • "Offered the player to Atletico Madrid" - he did not sign for them, he was on trial, the transfer fee would have been ~£200,000 if Atletico had taken up the offer. I have no further detail on motives, but it wasn't necessarily altruistic, he wouldn't have been able to make money on the player if something untoward happened to him during the unrest.
  • Link Manchester City.
  • "as part of a man of the match display" - is this cited or is it original research?
    • My sources have lots of complimentary descriptions of his performance and imply it but do not explicitly use the phrase "man of the match", so removed.
  • "15 July 1995" - wikilink per WP:DATE.
  • Link Division One.
    • All linking related ones done.
  • "... proved a turbulent one for Manchester City..." why?
    • As it goes on to say later in the sentence, the team was picked by five different managers that season. I don't think that requires any further explanation.
  • "£5 million transfer fee. " - cite.
    • done.
  • Derby County section starts with several short sentences, consider improving the flow.
  • "...but nothing came of it." - not keen, not sure it's grammatically correct either, there were multiple links...
    • reworded.
  • Goal of the Month or "Goal of the Month"?
    • done.
  • "noted...noting" - same sentence, not good prose.
    • done.
  • "Though a left-footed player, he did not perform well when played as a left winger, meeting with little success when playing there for Ajax." - needs citation lest it falls foul of WP:OR.
    • Reworded and cited.
  • Other things to consider are...
    • A career statistics section.
    • Honours section (although perhaps he didn't win anything!)
    • Image(s). You'll need at least one for FA minimum standard.

Hope these comments help, feel free, as ever, to give me a shout about any of them or if I can be of any help otherwise. The Rambling Man (talk) 16:59, 26 January 2008 (UTC)

Excellent feedback as always. Oldelpaso (talk) 18:03, 26 January 2008 (UTC)
A career statistics section is hindered by the fact I have been unable to find a full breakdown of his Mretebi Tbilisi appearances. I might add an honours section, not much in the way of illustrious trophies, but he did win Georgian and Cypriot championships, and I could add his player of the year awards. I don't like to add fair use images, but one might be appropriate here. Or would it be better to investigate whether this CC licensed picture on Flickr could have the non-commercial restriction waived? Oldelpaso (talk) 19:54, 28 January 2008 (UTC)
Yeah, no-one said it'd be easy! I was up at Bramall Lane yesteday - there's a new Gio on the block, hardly the same calibre mind you! The flickr picture (in my opinion) is virtually worthless. Don't know how you'd get away with fair use unless it's a seminal moment in his career... any ideas? Stats-wise, no-one will complain if you add "n/a" where the a is available.... tough call when you have ex-Soviet professional careers to take into account. Not a chance! Anyway, great work (as always) so far.. The Rambling Man (talk) 21:00, 28 January 2008 (UTC)
I'm coming up against more gaps than I thought I would. It affects honours too, Dinamo won the double every season Kinkladze was there, but I have no idea which cup finals he did or didn't play in. As for images, the first things I thought of were his goal against Southampton or his long range goal against Wales, but I haven't found an image of either. Presumably he did the obligatory pic-with-shirt-and-scarf when he signed for City. I'll have to dig through old programmes, and then find a scanner if I come across something suitable. Oldelpaso (talk) 21:10, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
  • A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 00:13, 28 January 2008 (UTC)