Wikipedia:Peer review/February 2008
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This page contains the Peer review requests that are older than one month, have received no response in the last two weeks, are not signed, have become featured article candidates, or did not follow the "How to use this page" principles in some way. If one of your requests has been moved here by mistake, please accept our apologies and readd {{peer review}} to the article talk page.
[edit] Leeds United A.F.C. seasons
Following a somewhat acrimonious bungled FLC attempt, and since one of the major editors no longer supports the list in its current state, I thought I'd bring this to peer review again so that the community can decide on a consensus for a number of things most significantly the inclusion of the current season which brought the majority of opposition at the failed FLC. In its current state it's very close, in my opinion, to the standard required for a WP:FL but I'd like the community to assist with the odd contentious issue and the wording of the lead. Thanks for your time. The Rambling Man (talk) 14:36, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
- Note: Because of its length, this peer review is not transcluded. It is now closed and located at Wikipedia:Peer review/Leeds United A.F.C. seasons/archive2.
(Peer review added on Thursday 31 January 2008, 21:29 UTC)
[edit] Randall Flagg
I have succeeded in getting this to Good Article status, and if possible I would like it to become a Featured Article. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.--CyberGhostface (talk) 03:50, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 16:12, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Thursday 31 January 2008, 22:22 UTC)
[edit] List of Mr. Stain Characters
I've listed this article for peer review because… it has not been rated yet
Thanks,
Binarymoron (talk) 14:47, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 03:36, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 1 February 2008, 07:41 UTC)
[edit] List of Ipswich Town F.C. statistics and records
Next in-line for the Ipswich Town drive for featured topic, I'd like the community to review this article. I'm convinced that with some (or a lot!) of work I can get this to featured status, either FL or FA. I'm prepared to do a lot of rework in terms of prose etc should FA be the way forward, if FL then I'd appreciate advice on how best to get there too given the mixed nature of the article.
I will, as ever, endeavour to remedy wrongs, discuss discussion points and work hard to get this article as promoted as the community believe is possible. Cheers as always for your time, effort and comments. The Rambling Man (talk) 18:22, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
- Note: Because of its length, this peer review is not transcluded. It is still open and located at Wikipedia:Peer review/List of Ipswich Town F.C. statistics and records/archive1.
(Peer review added on Saturday 2 February 2008, 10:07 UTC)
[edit] Rossall School
I've listed this article for peer review because it has undergone a great deal of updating and referencing of late. It would also seem that the school should be updated to high level importance like the the rest of the English public schools.
Thanks,
LennyLeonardson (talk) 18:49, 2 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 01:27, 5 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Twenty Years review
Here are my suggestions:
- The section entitled "Rossal Today" seems very pro-Rossal, as if it were ripped from the schools website. A traditional layout would work well, starting with the history section, then campus and so on...
- Information on the schools timetable are unencyclopedic, and really not notable. "Tea is also offered to the boarders", who cares?
- Per WP:SCH, details of the school uniform should not be included unless the schools uniform is particularly notable or significant, which this one is not. Scotch College, Perth has the exact same uniform (just different colours)
- Discipline section should be merged with the jargon section and made into a "school terms" section, which is used in the article on Eton.
- The monitors section seems Non-notable, it may be merged into the school terms section.
- School activities should be put into a section called "extra-curricular activities", which could also include the school choirs section. CCF could also be a subjection of this section.
- The school song should not be included in the article, it seems Non notable, it might be worth a mention in a section on music at the school.
- The table in the house section seems non-notable. The names of the houseparents and house captains should be removed atleast.
- Rossal architechture, should be re-named "Campus" and contain information on the schools entire campus, including its architecture.
Just my thoughts....leave a message on my talk page if you need further clarification/help, thanks. Twenty Years 17:47, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:28 UTC)
[edit] Flag of Germany
For the last few months I've been busy with this article. Before I started in July the article looked like this and now it looks like this. In working on this article, I've drawn on a number of articles that can now possibly be merged into this one (see various mergefrom requests now in the article) plus a number of articles from the German wiki, and various other sources, while at the same time trying to provide as many supporting references as possible. I am very interested in getting this article up to GA (or even FA?) standard so I would appreciate it if anyone could proofread it and/or expand/clarify any points that may need attention. After working on this for the last few months, I really need some fresh eyes on this article. Thanks - 52 Pickup (talk) 14:14, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 01:24, 5 January 2008 (UTC)
- A quite nice article. A minor point: Do you need to use {{main}}? It is usually used for subarticles (like {{main|Flag of the Holy Roman Empire}} instead of {{main|Holy Roman Empire}}. Your usage of {{main}} makes it appear as if articles like Holy Roman Empire are only about the flag. Perhaps you could link to these articles from within the text instead. Kusma (talk) 15:50, 23 January 2008 (UTC)
- Alright. What about different templates (eg, {{seealso}}) or would just linking within the text, as you suggest, be enough? - 52 Pickup (deal) 19:26, 23 January 2008 (UTC)
- Another point: you should mention the name of the "same designer" in the image captions for the post-WW2 Nordic Cross flag suggestions. The article Josef Wirmer makes no mention of his flag designing activities. Could you try to research the name of the brother who proposed the flag to the CDU? How did the CDU react to this proposal; why is it a notable proposal? (I have never heard of it before, so I'm curious). Kusma (talk) 07:17, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
- In an earlier draft I wrote a lot more about this, but then I trimmed it since the article was getting very long. I'll see what I can do about restoring this information. - 52 Pickup (deal) 09:43, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
- Done (I think). His brother Ernst (no en-wiki article, but see de:Ernst Wirmer) was a CDU member of the Parlamentarischer Rat, later an advisor to chancellor Adenauer, and then an important figure in the formation of the West German defence ministry. So it was a proposal from within the CDU. There were many other proposals (see FOTW) but I believe that this one is the only notable one since it had the backing of the CDU/CSU. - 52 Pickup (deal) 12:44, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
- Done (I think). His brother Ernst (no en-wiki article, but see de:Ernst Wirmer) was a CDU member of the Parlamentarischer Rat, later an advisor to chancellor Adenauer, and then an important figure in the formation of the West German defence ministry. So it was a proposal from within the CDU. There were many other proposals (see FOTW) but I believe that this one is the only notable one since it had the backing of the CDU/CSU. - 52 Pickup (deal) 12:44, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:31 UTC)
[edit] Jazz drumming
I listed this article for peer review because it was failed as a good article recently, and I have done my best to improve it; both according to the reviewer's suggestions and in what areas I thought improvement would be useful. Suggestions I am looking for:
- Terms to be clarified (one of the reviewer's comments was that the article contained too much jargon)
- Content (anything that needs more information?)
- Media usage (are there any pictures or sound samples that would be useful?)
Thanks,
Kakofonous (talk) 20:13, 14 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments by Alan W
One thing comes to mind in reading the last section, "Free Jazz". You say 'It seems that the evolution of jazz drumming has much to do with progressively “freeing” the beat....' This is a really major new idea being introduced at the end (at least it reads like that; I know you talk about freeing the beat in the previous section), and I think that it would need much more expansion and support with citations than it gets. Can you find support for this idea in any references? You may think that this is true, and maybe it is, but remember, in Wikipedia articles, just stating what you believe is true isn't sufficient. You do cite the interview by Clifford Allen with Sunny Murray, but your claim is a pretty all-embracing one, more, it seems to me, than is really supported by Murray's account of the concepts behind his own drumming.
You know, maybe the solution is simpler than that. At least it would be if you remove the broader claim from that section, and simply state that in "Free Jazz" there was a movement to free the beat even more than what you describe in the previous section, "1950s and 1960s". That way you avoid having to support what seems here like a major new thesis of your own. --Alan W (talk) 04:27, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
- Done (I think) Kakofonous (talk) 11:36, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
The section on the Clave rhythm--while I find it all very interesting, it is very dense, and, yes, a little technical, though I hope others are not averse to learning. I certainly learned something. I added a "Main article" tag, by the way, though I think that in some ways your coverage is more thorough that what is in Clave (rhythm) (which you might want to look at and even add to). It doesn't say anything about an African clave. Should it? Well, first things first, I suppose.
As a novice in this area, I will note, for perspective, that when I saw the word "clave" I immediately thought of the instrument, the claves. I'm wondering if somehow you could briefly, maybe parenthetically or even in a note, mention that the "clave" you are discussing is the rhythm, not the instrument (which even the least technically knowledgeable lover of Latin music will have heard of), although the instrument is used to play the rhythm.
The list of influential drummers you recently added: While that's nice, just calling it a list of "influential jazz drummers" without qualification I find confusing. I was about to add three more whose omission I couldn't understand (Baby Dodds, Jo Jones, and Philly Joe Jones) until it dawned on me that the list is really of some whom you consider influential but who are not mentioned above in the article itself. I'm wondering if you might somehow make that point (subheading? note? I'm not sure). I did add Philly Joe Jones, as I am always seeing his name cited as an influence on other drummers, and he is not mentioned elsewhere. (I tend to be an "inclusionist," so I didn't remove any names, but is Dannie Richmond really considered that influential? I'm not saying there was anything wrong with his playing; he was certainly very good, at least I think so; but is he really considered a major influence on anyone else?)
- I removed Dannie Richmond and renamed the title of the section to a less citation-needing name. I don't know if it is necessary to mention the fact that these are drummers not mentioned in the article, as See also sections are assumed to follow that logic (see Wikipedia:Layout#See also). Kakofonous (talk) 00:12, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
This is all I can think of now, though I know that there is more that can be done here. You might consider breaking up some long sentences to make some of the technical stuff a little easier to digest. I'll see what else I can think of. I think I will just go in myself and tighten up some phrasing here and there. No technical knowledge of drumming required for that! --Alan W (talk) 04:26, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
I'm a bit uneasy about your reliance on the Ed Pias article. I see Pias is a drummer himself, and he may be a good one, but some of his judgments about the history of drumming seem to me to be on a shaky footing. He seems to know what he is talking about with respect to the more recent, freer drummers, but when he characterizes the older ones, some of what he says seems way off. Baby Dodds was squarely in the old New Orleans tradition and in no way a swing or big-band drummer. Big Sid Catlett was a great influence on later drummers and perhaps helped to pave the way for bebop drumming; but I sure wouldn't lump him with the "bebop or hard-bop" drummers as Pias does. I think this slapdash and incorrect characterization leaks into what you say when you call Catlett an "influential drummer of bebop". I think it would be more correct to call him influential *on* some of the beboppers rather than "of" that movement itself. --Alan W (talk) 04:46, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
This sentence bothers me: "Due to the necessity of a different method of playing percussion in the early developmental era of jazz, jazz drumming was invented." First, the grammatical structure is not really correct; "due to" is not the equivalent of "because of", though I grant that this is such a common mistake that it has almost been legitimized. Secondly, the passive voice at the end makes the sentence weak. But I think the most serious problem here is that you beg the question of the necessity. Why was it necessary to play percussion differently in jazz? Of course this is only the introduction, and you can't say much, but you might give more of a hint than you do. Even later in the article, I don't think that this necessity emerges clearly. Also--different from what? Percussion in European classical music? In popular dance music? In marching bands? Or...? I know this might not be easy to express concisely, so complex is the subject. If I could think of a way to revise this sentence now, I'd do it myself! --Alan W (talk) 04:59, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
- I changed the problematic sentence to "Jazz required a method of playing percussion different from traditional European styles, one that was easily adaptable to the different musical situations that appeared in this new genre, fostering the creation of jazz drumming's hybrid technique." This seemed less vague and (hopefully) more understandable. One of the reasons I requested this peer review was that I do tend to write in a rather dense style, and it is gratifying to find someone willing to go through and catch all those sentences. Kakofonous (talk) 22:48, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 03:38, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
I've tightened up the lead (or "lede", as the old-time journalists call it) quite a bit. If I've left out anything crucial you can always add it back. You've brought in a lot of very good essential material later in the article; but too much of those first few paragraphs was repetitious and vague. E.g., paragraph 3, sentence 1, as it was, read, "The style could have begun at a number of different times...." What style? We're talking about many styles in the evolution of the music. And I couldn't grasp exactly what that sentence was supposed to mean at all.
The more I think about this article, my feeling is that the ideas behind the bulk of it are sound, and you generally cite good references to back up what you say. But, really, this topic is huge. It may be that you've bitten off a bit more than either of us can chew. As much as there is, I think more needs to be said about certain contributory components, such as the invention of new cymbals and other parts of the drum set. And there should be more coverage in other areas, probably, that my lack of technical knowledge prevents me from adding. A third, fourth, and even fifth opinion would really help with this article. --Alan W (talk) 15:07, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
- You are definitely correct about the need for more information in the drum set area. When I was originally taking notes for this article (actually a research paper for school) I was bogged down by the enormous amount of information I found, and focused instead on the areas that seemed essential. I will write up some more content in that section of the article at some point. (Not making promises as to when, but probably sometime soon.) Kakofonous (talk) 15:15, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
- The problem with getting more opinions on this article is that there are so very few here that might be able to provide one that was informed! (And which users they are I have no idea.) There might be some people I know off-wiki that could provide some constructive comments, though. Kakofonous (talk) 15:19, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
- The problem with getting more opinions on this article is that there are so very few here that might be able to provide one that was informed! (And which users they are I have no idea.) There might be some people I know off-wiki that could provide some constructive comments, though. Kakofonous (talk) 15:19, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:35 UTC)
[edit] The Last Temptation of Krust
The Last Temptation of Krust was recently listed as a Good Article. Looking for feedback/comments on ways to further improve the article's quality. Thanks for taking a look. Cirt (talk) 09:15, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
- Note: Listed this Peer Review at WP:COMEDY, WP:DOH, WP:TV, and WP:US-TOON. Cirt (talk) 10:52, 15 January 2008 (UTC).
- Automated review
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 03:37, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
- Response to semi-automated peer review
- Please expand the lead to conform with guidelines at Wikipedia:Lead. The article should have an appropriate number of paragraphs as is shown on WP:LEAD, and should adequately summarize the article.[?] -- Response: I think this is where "The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question." comes into play, the lead is actually longer than most Simpsons WP:GAs. Cirt (talk) 04:24, 18 January 2008 (UTC).
- The script has spotted the following contractions: couldn't, Can't, if these are outside of quotations, they should be expanded. -- Done , fixed one, the other is the title of a book. Cirt (talk) 04:26, 18 January 2008 (UTC).
- Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.[?] You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, APR t 03:34, 18 January 2008 (UTC) -- Response: Will do. Cirt (talk) 04:26, 18 January 2008 (UTC).
(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:37 UTC)
[edit] William Lowndes Yancey
This article was recently promoted to GA, and further general or specific feedback would be appreciated before taking it to FAC. Thanks -- Wikipedical (talk) 22:26, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
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- I have gone through the article and made any necessary Manual of Style corrections. I will copyedit the article later. Nishkid64 (talk) 02:04, 20 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:39 UTC)
[edit] Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
This is the second peer review request for this article. The first one can be found at Wikipedia:Peer review/Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi/archive1. We have tried to get this to FA status, but both attempts at that failed. I am resubmitting it for peer review, because I want to make this FA along with the recently demoted Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace and I believe that it is almost FA quality. Any comments on improving them shall be very much appreciated. Thanks, Greg Jones II 00:39, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
- I haven't taken a big, section-by-section look at the article, but it looks like the lead could use some expansion to mention marketing and later releases. I don't think it's as comprehensive as a lead section should be. bibliomaniac15 00:50, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:40 UTC)
[edit] Power of Love (Harry and the Potters album)
I've listed this article for peer review because, I am currently editing the GA Harry and the Potters article and the FLC Harry and the Potters discography. I have asked for a peer review for this article along with other albums by Harry and the Potters to receive feedback to edit these articles to achieve B or even GA status. I believe this could also help achieve featured article and featured list status on the other articles. I would appreciate all comments and suggestions on expanding this article and all other Harry and the Potters albums, as the band does not receive much press 'attention', I would like to know what lyrical content can be displayed and how this can be formatted.
Thanks, Hpfan9374 (talk) 03:25, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 03:28, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:42 UTC)
[edit] Scarred for Life
I've listed this article for peer review because, I am currently editing the GA Harry and the Potters article and the FLC Harry and the Potters discography. I have asked for a peer review for this article along with other albums by Harry and the Potters to receive feedback to edit these articles to achieve B or even GA status. I believe this could also help achieve featured article and featured list status on the other articles. I would appreciate all comments and suggestions on expanding this article and all other Harry and the Potters albums, as the band does not receive much press 'attention', I would like to know what lyrical content can be displayed and how this can be formatted.
Thanks, Hpfan9374 (talk) 03:25, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 03:28, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:43 UTC)
[edit] The Enchanted Ceiling
I've listed this article for peer review because, I am currently editing the GA Harry and the Potters article and the FLC Harry and the Potters discography. I have asked for a peer review for this article along with other albums by Harry and the Potters to receive feedback to edit these articles to achieve B or even GA status. I believe this could also help achieve featured article and featured list status on the other articles. I would appreciate all comments and suggestions on expanding this article and all other Harry and the Potters albums, as the band does not receive much press 'attention', I would like to know what lyrical content can be displayed and how this can be formatted.
Thanks, Hpfan9374 (talk) 03:25, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 03:27, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:45 UTC)
[edit] A Magical Christmas of Magic with Harry and the Potters and Wizardly Friends and Magical Singing Creatures
I've listed this article for peer review because, I am currently editing the GA Harry and the Potters article and the FLC Harry and the Potters discography. I have asked for a peer review for this article along with other albums by Harry and the Potters to receive feedback to edit these articles to achieve B or even GA status. I believe this could also help achieve featured article and featured list status on the other articles. I would appreciate all comments and suggestions on expanding this article and all other Harry and the Potters albums, as the band does not receive much press 'attention', I would like to know what lyrical content can be displayed and how this can be formatted.
Thanks, Hpfan9374 (talk) 03:25, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 03:27, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:46 UTC)
[edit] Voldemort Can't Stop the Rock!
I've listed this article for peer review because, I am currently editing the GA Harry and the Potters article and the FLC Harry and the Potters discography. I have asked for a peer review for this article along with other albums by Harry and the Potters to receive feedback to edit these articles to achieve B or even GA status. I believe this could also help achieve featured article and featured list status on the other articles. I would appreciate all comments and suggestions on expanding this article and all other Harry and the Potters albums, as the band does not receive much press 'attention', I would like to know what lyrical content can be displayed and how this can be formatted.
Thanks, Hpfan9374 (talk) 03:25, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 03:25, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:47 UTC)
[edit] Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
This is the second peer review request for this article. The first one can be found here: Wikipedia:Peer review/Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace/archive1. This article was removed from FA status due to issues with citing IMDb as a source, which User:Movieguy999 submitted in its FAR, which can be found at Wikipedia:Featured article review/Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. I am resubmitting it for peer review, because I believe I want to get this to FA status, like User:The Filmaker did before this article got demoted. Any comments on improving it to meet FAC standards would be appreciated. Thanks, Greg Jones II 03:16, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 03:25, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
- Comment I feel like the remaining IMDb references are also replaceable. The Studio Briefing blurbs are basically second-hand reportings of reliable sources such as the Associated Press or the LA Times, etc. It's always best to use the original articles instead of relying on second-hand information. The awards IMDb sources can also be easily replaced. BuddingJournalist 03:28, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
- The article (like the other SW movie articles) is included in Category:Epic films which in turn links to Epic film for more information. Since Epic film is a mainspace article (and a short and weakly referenced one at that) it provides no precise, reliable criteria as to which films are to be considered epic films. Thus, the inclusion of each film article into this category requires sources to verify and explain why this film can be considered an epic film. Until then, the movie should not be in the category as it would be OR to simply assert that it is an epic film. User:Dorftrottel 04:37, January 19, 2008
(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:48 UTC)
[edit] Bushism
I've listed this article for peer review because…This is an unusual article. I am interested in what others think about it. Thus I have brought it to peer review
Thanks,
Marlith T/C 05:26, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:49 UTC)
[edit] Illinois High School Association
I've listed this article for peer review because…the article was rated a B some time ago by two different projects, and there have been significant edits since then. I would very much like to try and make the next steps needed to bring this article up a notch before requesting formal review.
Thanks and Peace,
LonelyBeacon (talk) 00:30, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 03:24, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:51 UTC)
[edit] Dallas Mavericks
I've listed this article for peer review because it's an important article, and I (someday) want to get it to GA, or (getting my hopes way too high) even FA.
Thanks,
Basketball110 03:26, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 03:24, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:52 UTC)
[edit] Mar Roxas
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to ensure that this article is in neutral point of view. I also want to suggest on what parts of the article are in need of improvements and in need of revisions. I also want this to be listed as a Good Article and hopefully as a Featured Article.
Thanks,
Kevin Ray (talk) 04:55, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 03:24, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:53 UTC)
[edit] Dubstep
I've listed this article for peer review because I would love to see it as a featured article (it's currently GA), and would like some feedback as to how it could get to FA status. In particular I'd be interested in how much sense this makes to someone unfamiliar with the subject matter, which is my main concern having read it from start to finish. Thanks, - Zeibura (Talk) 08:22, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 03:24, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:54 UTC)
[edit] Eric Brewer (ice hockey)
I started minorly working on this article about two years ago, but over the past year have really put my focus into making it a top-quality Wikipedia article. I'm confident that a review of this article will help me in sucessfully bringing this article to featured article standards.
Thanks, – 
Nurmsook! (talk) 08:24, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
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To be honest, the work you've done on this article has suprised me completely. I didn't know this was being done at all. That being said, I like what I see. But I think it still needs quite some work to get to FA. In terms of references, wow. That is good to see, and will go far in any ruther work. The international section is also extensive. However, there is a lack of content in regard to his NHL career, which only includes three paragraphs for three teams. While not entirely familiar with Brewer as a player, I would think there could be at least three for the Oilers, knowing how good he was with them, and two for both the Islanders and Blues. If possible, it wouldn't hurt to convert the awards section to prose, although that isn't entirely needed. Maybe some information on his style of play, as in offensive or defensive defenceman; I follow hockey, and have no idea what type of defenceman Brewer is, so think about someone who's never followed hockey before. Finally, you got to find a better image of Brewer. I know when I was working on the Joe Sakic article, it got negative response for having the back of Sakic. While it is difficult to find such images, but put up a request for it, and search for it, you will find it.
In conclusion, its a great start, but needs more information before you will pass an FA nomination. Good luck on the article, I look forward to seeing what gets done with it. Nice to see such a high quality article on a player who is quite frankly, not a major star. Hope this helps you on your way. Kaiser matias (talk) 07:37, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:55 UTC)
[edit] Stigand
I've listed this article for peer review because…I would like to take it to Featured Article, and welcome any suggestions for how to accomplish that. Ealdgyth | Talk 14:47, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
Thanks,
Ealdgyth | Talk 14:47, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:57 UTC)
[edit] SummerSlam (1994)
I've listed this article for peer review because I think it has potential to become a Good Article. I plan to nominate it after I receive some feedback on any improvements that can be made. Thanks, GaryColemanFan (talk) 23:57, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:58 UTC)
[edit] Royal Rumble (2005)
I've listed this article for peer review because I think this article has the potential to become a Good Article, and would like suggestions on improvement.
Thanks,
13 of Diamonds (talk) 01:32, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 18:59 UTC)
[edit] Conveyed concept
I've listed this article for peer review because I'm trying to make sure it meets guidelines…
Thanks,
Thedosmann (talk) 22:06, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
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I've added a number of references and sources in the cite.php format. I also added more content and made some minor editing changes in response to the above suggestions. If more editing or changes would be helpful I would appreciate suggestions. Thedosmann (talk) 15:26, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 19:00 UTC)
[edit] Aang
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I know all the problems in this article, but I was wondering if anybody could actually help with fixing it, as every reviewer has just given general statements without any specific advice on how to fix it. I hope I could recruit some help to this dying article. Parent5446(Murder me for my actions) 22:24, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
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Here are a few suggestions to improve the content of the article. I hope they're helpful.
He is voiced by Zach Tyler Eisen. Is this the standard way voice actors are listed in WP articles? It at least needs a link.
-
- Done
- The lead needs to be expanded. For people like me, who know very little about anime and even less about Avatar, it may be useful to describe what each term means. For example, how is the series related to anime? What is an airbender? "...supercentenarian at the incarnation age of 112.[1]" What the heck does that mean? That may not be following the standard for this kind of article, but more explanation in the lead is needed.
-
- The article should not be explaining other topics. The paragraph effectively provides a brief setting for the reader to follow. If the reader wants to find more on "Airbenders", etc., the reader simply clicks on the associated link.
The first paragraph in the "Creation and conception" section is unclear. Where did the creators get their idea? What do you mean by a sketch?
-
- Done
- Brahmajala Sutra - quote the dietary law itself. Flesh out Baguazhang. As a reader, I also know little about Buddhism, so explain, please. Also, explain how Buddhism has influenced this story and character.
-
- The law does not need to be quoted in the text. However, it is quoted in the citation if you look at the end of the citation.
- Is the image of Newborn Aang free?
-
- No, it is non-free and has fair use rationale.
- Again, I don't feel competent to analyze the content of most of this article, but it looks like every section could be fleshed out. Do some more google searches, at least.
-
- I'm afraid there is no information. I have been searching for months on end and have not found more than there is.
- Tense problems. What is WP's standard for fiction? Present or past tense? At least pick one and keep it consistent. For example: "At a young age, Aang and the other airbending children travel to the Eastern Air Temple to choose a flying bison partner, named Appa. The elder monks held a private meeting with Aang to reveal his identity as the Avatar." And: "He entered the Avatar State unknowingly for the first time, using waterbending and airbending to encase himself and Appa in a frozen air bubble resembling an iceberg." This is a problem throughout this article.
-
- Will fix...
I don't understand how the sections are separated. Are the "books" seasons? I think you should explain that.
-
- Done - Explained in the first paragraph of the plot overview section
The co-creator's quote about Aang. What did he mean? Does he say, or do you have to use another source?
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- Done - I explained what he means to the best of my ability.
What is "appa"?
-
- Done - Hope it is better
"The Waterbending Scroll". Is that an episode? If so, say something like, In "The Waterbending Scroll", the nth episode of the nth season,..."
-
- Done - Added clause to explain it is an episode
- Katara. What is it and does it need a link?
-
- Katara is one of the main characters and she is established in the lead.
- The three sections under "Avatar" confuse me. Perhaps you need to explain what Bending, Spirit, and Medium, or at least flesh the explanations out more.
- Change "He met Avatar..." to "meets"
-
- Included in tense problem mentioned above: will fix...
The sentence that begins, "In the first chapter, Aang encounters Roku..." needs to be made more clear.
-
- Done
- Is it necessary to recount the entire storyline of the game?
-
- There is not much of a storyline and removing anything might leave a gap in the storyline, making it confusing.
What is "the second season" referring to?--Figureskatingfan (talk) 04:16, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
-
- Done
I fixed some problems. I will fix more later. Parent5446(Murder me for my actions) 02:43, 8 March 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 19:02 UTC)
[edit] Iolani School
I've listed this article for peer review because I think some feedback on how the article is now would be helpful for me and other editors improving the article. Comments on structure, information, and tone would especially help.
Thanks!
Midorihana~いいですね？ 22:32, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 19:03 UTC)
[edit] Lisa Gerrard
I've listed this article for peer review because I think the page meets with the FA criteria and because she is a great singer.
Thanks,
Glitter1959 (talk) 02:20, 19 January 2008 (UTC)Glitter1959
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[edit] Warwick Armstrong
I've listed this article for peer review because while it was recently listed as a Good Article, the GA reviewer was concerned about the amount of cricket jargon it contains. Having grown up with cricket, I find it difficult to disassociate myself from the terminology and write for a general audience. I would appreciate a reviewer with little or no knowledge of cricket looking at the article with the goal of ensuring all jargon is either removed, linked to an appropriate article or explained in the article body or as a footnote. Of course, other suggestions on style, MOS issues etc. would still be very welcome. The goal, of course, is Featured Article status.
Thanks,
Mattinbgn\talk 12:06, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 19:06 UTC)
[edit] Clan Maclachlan
I've listed this article for peer review because i'd like some feedback on how to get it up to GA standards and beyond. Any suggestions, corrections and comments would really help.
Thanks,
Celtus (talk) 12:26, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 19:07 UTC)
[edit] Last of the Summer Wine
I've listed this article for peer review because it was recently listed as a good article and I now wish to receive feedback on what can be revised to bring it up to FA standards as I begin to revise.
Thanks, Redfarmer (talk) 23:58, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 19:08 UTC)
[edit] Redd Foxx
I've listed this article for peer review because it is a well written article and informative biography that should be considered for a featured article
Thanks,
Pensil (talk) 17:52, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Sunday 3 February 2008, 19:09 UTC)
[edit] Reactive attachment disorder
I've listed this article for peer review because...
It has just achieved GA status. The GA editor very helpfully showed us how to complete a seperate notes/refs style citation system to deal with multiple citations from the same source. I have subsequently checked and copy-edited as much as I am able and can't myself think of any further improvements.
On the points previously raised about images and bullet points, I can't think of an appropriate image to demonstrate a behavioural disorder of childhood! The bullet points mark out the points of the 'official' diagnostic criteria for RAD. I can easily remove these if required but I do not think that would assist clarity.
I would like this article to achieve FA status if at all possible.
Many thanks! Fainites barley 20:08, 22 December 2007 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Monday 4 February 2008, 22:57 UTC)
[edit] Person Centred Planning
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I feel it is ready for the intense scrutiny of Wikipedia editors, and will benefit from their improvements and suggestions.
It is about an approach and set of values that is gaining ground internationally across the social care sector, quite an exciting way of enabling the person to receive personalised support from services that previously might have been impersonal and unresponsive to what really matters to people.
I think it's worth attention and improvement not just because it is notable, but because it is interesting and exciting - a collaborative co-created approach not unlike wikipedia itself.
Thanks,
Max (talk) 15:08, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
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Review from Scartol
Per your request, I've had a look at this article. It appears to be focused on an important topic, but as a layperson with absolutely no knowledge of the field being discussed, I feel lost and confused by it. Much of the prose is vague, and I feel as though it's been written largely by people in the field for people in the field. Let's look at the lead, for example:
- Person Centred Planning (PCP) is a process designed to assist someone to make plans for their future. This is a very ambiguous sentence. I feel that the first sentence should give a phrase about who generally uses it, and what specific purpose it serves. "someone" is perplexingly unclear. "make plans" about what? Vacation destinations? Education paths? Diet choices? This needs to be more specific.
- It is used most often as a life planning model to enable individuals with disabilities to increase their personal self-determination and improve their own independence. Okay, this is better – but is there really much of a difference between "increase their personal self-determination" and "improve their own independence"? If so, does this distinction really belong in the first paragraph of the article? A better use of the valuable first few sentences (which will either draw the reader in or repulse her/him) is to explain how PCP differs from other leading models of "life planning" (a phrase which is pretty unclear to me as well).
- Person Centred Planning was adopted as government policy in the United Kingdom through the 'Valuing People' White Paper in 2001, and is accepted as good practice in many countries throughout the world. The first part of this sentence is okay, but the second part is rather vague. Better to give other examples of governments which use it, or statements from advocacy groups(?) and/or health organizations(?) which endorse it.
- It is most often used for life planning with people with learning and developmental disabilities, You've already said this, right? So it's unnecessary.
- though recently it has been advocated as a method of planning personalised support with other sections of society who find themselves disempowered by traditional methods of service delivery, including older people. Very unclear to me. "Other sections of society" brings to my mind zip codes and area codes. I admit to having no idea what "traditional methods of service delivery" are; I'm envisioning a housekeeping company.
-
- Also note that the "including older people" phrase at the end will – in the minds of most readers – be applied to the noun closest to it, in this case "methods of service delivery", which makes no sense. I'd say something like "...with other individuals – especially older people – who are disempowered by...".
I suppose my point here is – and this is something I've said frequently about software designers – it's vital to write about your topic in a way that the uninitiated will be able to understand. If this article has indeed been written by folks in the field of study being discussed, you'll need to find ways to think like an outsider: Question your assumptions about what's being discussed, and try to write sentences that require no prior knowledge (or as little as possible) about the concepts involved.
Some other points in the body of the article:
- I would retitle "Theoretical basis" as "Background". Start by discussing the people who came up with it, and explain what they described as the shortcomings with the existing methods.
- any methods used must be reflective of the individual's personal communication mechanisms What on earth is a "personal communication mechanism"? Is that anything like "talking"? I worry that we may be overdoing it with the jargon here. (Or, it's also possible that – as above – specific terms are being used with which the layperson isn't familiar. In such a case, explanation or alternative wording is necessary.)
- The article needs many more citations. They should also be in one consistent format; currently it has some footnotes, some parenthetical citations, and large blocks of text with no sources cited at all.
- Blockquotes should only be used when the quotation is four lines or more, and it should be set apart from the article with the {{bquote}} template (or one like it). See Wikipedia:MOS#Quotations.
Good luck with this article – the editors involved obviously have a great knowledge about and passion for this subject. The next step is to translate it into a format that the rest of the world can access. Please let me know if you have any other questions. – Scartol • Tok 15:03, 20 January 2008 (UTC)
- Comments from Roger Davies
Thanks for the invitation to peer-review this. I'll comment very broadly as my suggestions (and they are, of course, only suggestions) will considerably change the content and structure of the article.
- First, I echo Scartol's remark about citations. In a nutshell, see WP:V for what to cite and WP:REF for how to cite it.
- The intro needs to explain unambiguously and in jargon-free language what PCP is. Simply calling it a process designed to assist someone is not clear enough. The introduction needs to explain what steps the process involves. Generally, article introductions are two to four paragraphs in length, so the current one needs expanding to summarise the sections that follow.
- I recommend a new Background section to explain the pre-PCP problem and then go on to explain the PCP solution.
- To be honest, the current Theoretical basis section reads like extracts from a Powerpoint presentation. It should be dispassionate: that is, read less like a brochure or prospectus and more like an entry in a global encyclopedia. The list of founding parents needs considerable explanation. Names without context don't mean much. Some of these could be wiki-linked, if articles exist, others could have some explanation of their credentials.
- The second paragraph of Methods is almost entirely jargon. I suggest it is expanded and clarified – with wiki-links, text, or both – so that the curious lay-reader can grasp the principles.
- The Limitations section says only what its advocates, um, advocate. I have concerns about neutrality. What are the drawbacks of PCP? What do critics say? These views need to be sought out and included within the article.
- The Outcomes section would greatly benefit from some peer-reviewed material from the healthcare press. Discussion of studies would also be good.
As ever, if you have any questions, please contact me, --ROGER DAVIES talk 13:56, 21 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Monday 4 February 2008, 23:53 UTC)
[edit] Harry and the Potters (album)
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because, I am currently editing the GA Harry and the Potters article and the FLC Harry and the Potters discography. I have asked for a peer review for this article along with other albums by Harry and the Potters to receive feedback to edit these articles to achieve B or even GA status. I believe this could also help achieve featured article and featured list status on the other articles. I would appreciate all comments and suggestions on expanding this article and all other Harry and the Potters albums, as the band does not receive much press 'attention', I would like to know what lyrical content can be displayed and how this can be formatted.
Thanks, Hpfan9374 (talk) 03:25, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
- Comment: Its better to expand this article for how many folds. Try to run for a re-PR and you'll get reviews. --BritandBeyonce (talk) 06:01, 21 January 2008 (UTC)
- Firstly, thanks for commenting. Whats folds mean? I am looking for any ideas or suggestions, on what I can add to the 'background' section as the band is not in the media much, and what information I could include in a 'lyrical content' subheading, aswell as how I can format the 'personnel'. I would highly appreciate any and all suggestions or direct edits. Thankyou! Hpfan9374 (talk) 00:02, 22 January 2008 (UTC)
-
-
- You need to bulk up the article for how many times from its size (as of now). But it does not mean you really have to work hard on it. Just make sure you have the production or what transpired of making that album. And you have it. The album was inspired by JK's novel. Its a good start. Expand that and be sure you have proper inline citations. For lyrical content, find some album reviews. You might find several helpful informations (you might also find musical style their). --BritandBeyonce (talk) 00:46, 22 January 2008 (UTC)
-
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(Peer review added on Tuesday 5 February 2008, 15:43 UTC)
[edit] Over the Edge (1999)
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…I have worked hard on it and I would like to nominate this article as a GA and a future FA.
Thanks,
TrUcO9311 TaLk / SiGn 17:41, 20 January 2008 (UTC)
- Can you find any more pictures for the article? Just one would work. iMatthew 17:49, 20 January 2008 (UTC)
- Looks good; but I'd go onto outline a third feud; possibly The Ministry/Union feud. D.M.N. (talk) 19:46, 20 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Tuesday 5 February 2008, 15:46 UTC)
[edit] Canadian Radio Broadcasting Commission
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it's about a forgotten but fascinating part of Canadian broadcasting history and I'd like to see if it can be improved.
Thanks,
Reggie Perrin (talk) 22:22, 20 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Tuesday 5 February 2008, 15:48 UTC)
[edit] Blue Heelers
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it has recently been improved very much and we are trying to improve the article so that it may reach Good Article status. Behind the Scenes/Production information has recently been added, though the article could do with more, and it could also do with more references. We are interested in seeing the article from somebody else's perspective and improving it to GA status. We are really asking for pointers and weak points in regard to the article and are prepared to carry out any pointers which may be suggested.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Daniel99091 (talk) 07:31, 21 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Tuesday 5 February 2008, 15:49 UTC)
[edit] Texas
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it was once a Good Article, but it was removed from the list.
Thanks,
Basketball110 17:48, 21 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Tuesday 5 February 2008, 15:51 UTC)
[edit] Robert Cormier
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I have been working on this for a few days, and it already looks better. I have added an infobox, added some info about banning of his books, footnotes, etc. I would like to know where is could be improved, so I could get it up to at least a Good Article.
Thanks,
Soxred93 | talk count bot 21:23, 21 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Tuesday 5 February 2008, 15:52 UTC)
[edit] Weather fronts
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…
I think it is a good article, and is very near FA standards.
Thanks,
Juliancolton (talk) 22:48, 21 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Tuesday 5 February 2008, 15:53 UTC)
[edit] Lost: Missing Pieces
This peer review discussion has been closed.
On December 18, I began work in my sandbox and today I finished. I am running this peer review alongside a good article nomination. As soon as that passes, I will make the article a featured article candidate. Lost: Missing Pieces are thirteen short mobisodes/webisodes spun-off of the popular television series Lost. Infobox Television is being used in the article. Should I be using Infobox tvseason or should I design a new infobox that could be used in this article, as well as that of 24: Conspiracy? Thanks, –thedemonhog talk • edits 00:15, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Wednesday 6 February 2008, 01:35 UTC)
[edit] Ross Sea party
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… it has been developed from a Start-rated article into a much more comprehensive account of this expedition. I would welcome advice as to how it can be further improved with a view to a higher quality rating & possible GA nomination, with particular reference to accuracy, readability, general style.
Thanks, Brianboulton (talk) 23:12, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
- Another good article that should pass FA without too much trouble.
-
- The lead is better here than on the Terra Nova article, but the crew list at the beginning of the article is again ugly. A more detailed introduction of the crew would give some idea of the principal actors in the story.
- Although the focus should be away from Shackleton's adventures, I think his story is a little too underplayed here - it gives the impression he couldn't land and then spent two years hanging around on board Endurance before returning to civilization and considering that he should probably rescue the Ross Sea party.
- I'm not sure party should be capitalized in Ross Sea party - they were the party sent to the Ross Sea, but I don't think they were officially named the Ross Sea Party - minor point anyway.
- Web references need expanding to give details of title, publisher, access dates etc. Yomanganitalk 12:38, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
- Thank you for your comments and suggestions. I have accepted these and revised the article accordingly. The personnel section has been redone in narrative form, concentrating on the main players rather than listing everyone, and I agree this looks and reads better. Shackleton has been elevated to a bit more than a passing mention, in the intro and the Rescue section. I have adopted the Ross Sea party (not Party) format except in the article title. I've also sorted out the web references as best I can (I inherited these from a previous editor).
Further comments welcome. Brianboulton (talk) 22:29, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
- Echoing the suggestion above, I would encourage you to consider renaming the article itself "Ross Sea party" for consistency. MaxVeers (talk) 01:49, 5 February 2008 (UTC)
- I don't feel strongly about this so I'll do as you suggest Brianboulton (talk) 09:27, 5 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Wednesday 6 February 2008, 20:06 UTC)
[edit] Aston Villa F.C. statistics and records
This peer review discussion has been closed.
Hi there, as part of a continuing process of improving all Aston Villa F.C. related articles, I have put this up for peer review. I am currently at a loss to know exactly what to add to this list. What needs to be done to improve it, what do we want in a football "Records" list. The ultimate intention is to take this to WP:FLC after this review. Thanks, Woody (talk) 15:12, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 8 February 2008, 19:14 UTC)
[edit] Torchwood (series 1)
This peer review discussion has been closed.
Right, I've started on this article and I need some insight into how it's going. I am aiming for an FL. How am I doing with my condensing of the articles?
Thanks,
WEBURIEDOURSECRETSINTHEGARDENwe need to talk.☆ 18:27, 5 January 2008 (UTC)
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- Looks pretty good, here are some examples that might give you some more ideas (The Simpsons (season 6), Lost (season 3).) Gran2 15:27, 26 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 8 February 2008, 19:32 UTC)
[edit] Liverpool F.C.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
After the last FAC failed, I fel a new Peer Review is needed to addresss the concerns raised there, and ready the article for another FAC run in the future NapHit (talk) 16:53, 7 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)
First time I've really closely looked at this article so forgive me if I go over old ground or comment on stuff that's already been commented on.
- "At the Heysel Stadium" - would we say "At the Wembley stadium" or just "At Wembley stadium"?
- While I understand your logic, this is quite a common usage in relation to Heysel. See here, here, and here for examples of "the Heysel stadium" in good sources; I have therefore reverted it to "the Heysel stadium" for now. Robotforaday (talk) 02:08, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
- Space between 3rd and comma in infobox.
- "...to play in his ..." - to play at?
- Last two sentences of first para of history have no citation, same for second para.
- Good spots, I have added refs. Robotforaday (talk) 02:15, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
- History section seems a little unbalanced - the first three paragraphs deal with 1891 to 1974 (83 years) and the next five go from 1975 to 2008 (33 years).
- This is an important point, although given that 1975-1990 were the period during which Liverpool's successes took place, as well as two of football's biggest disasters, that period of time is always going to be prominent in any account of the team's history. Robotforaday (talk) 02:22, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
- Some citations could be moved to follow punctuation as recommended in WP:CITE.
- "This tragedy is known as the Heysel Stadium disaster." don't think you need this sentence. Make a suitable sentence to wikilink to the main article which fits more neatly into the prose.
- Wikilink player-manager.
- In general there could be a few more citations in the history section.
- Tedious question, I know, but where do you see the gaps? Robotforaday (talk) 02:08, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
- " Liverpool finished the season in third place in the Premiership for the second consecutive season. Benítez did guide Liverpool to the 2006–07 UEFA Champions League final on May 23, 2007. Facing AC Milan once again in the final, Liverpool lost 2–1." reads a little awkwardly to me.
- Improved, I hope Robotforaday (talk) 02:08, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
- Not sure about the selection of notable players. Most FA articles just push this out to a subpage with clearly defined objective criteria for inclusion.
- As you know, I have raised this at wikiproject football, where there didn't seem to be any clear idea of what should happen with these sections. I have restored it for now (with plans to improve it) until such time as there is more of a consensus to delete these sections. Robotforaday (talk) 02:15, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
- Why the socks thing in parentheses?
- "07/08" - should be "2007–08".
- "The Pavilion houses everything needed for the players to undergo everything required at one complex." - what does this mean?
- "( 43,561, which was 99.7% of available capacity)," - why space and why in parentheses?
- Consider a final league position graph.
- Update the current staff "Correct as of:.."
- "Liverpool's total of three UEFA Cups is an English record, and equal to the overall record, shared with four other clubs. The tallies of seven League Cups and three UEFA Super Cups are also English records." need citations.
- "Winners (15):1964 (shared), " - space needed after the colon.
That's about all I have right now. Hope some of the comments are helpful. The Rambling Man (talk) 14:38, 11 January 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for these remarks; User:NapHit appears to have responded to some of the other points you've raised, and I'll try and think about those that remain. Robotforaday (talk) 02:15, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 12:28, 14 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 8 February 2008, 19:34 UTC)
[edit] Green
This peer review discussion has been closed.
The article looks pretty decent now. I was wondering what improvement is needed for this article (currently GA) to pass FAC. Any input is appreciated. --BorgQueen (talk) 13:33, 11 January 2008 (UTC)
I am also a big contributor to this article and am curious if anyone can see anything we might have missed. Wrad (talk) 00:55, 12 January 2008 (UTC)
- Hey Wrad. I want to point out that you missed Lebanon in the map of countries with green flags. the Flag of Lebanon clearly displays a green cedar (which is a national tree and not an islamic symbol). CG (talk) 10:34, 12 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 06:05, 14 January 2008 (UTC)
(First I should say that I'm no expert on colour but) I've had a read through and actually was a little surprised by what wasn't in there. I'd assume an article on something as basic as the colour green would have to try to explain it to someone who had never seen green before (blind person, alien etc) and I'm not sure it does this particularly well.
- Could we have some kind of diagram of colours, graph etc with the region commonly described as 'green' highlighted? This would be fairly easy for monochromatic light and there are various 2D RGB plots that could also be used.
- You say 'The perception of green is evoked by light having a spectrum dominated by energy with a wavelength of roughly 520–570 nm', is it possible to say (simply) how much energy at other visible wavelengths you can have before it is no longer regarded as being green? Or would this vary too much from person to person?
- How well do other animals' eyes see green? Are their cones centred at the same frequency as ours? Do any see only in shades of green?
- What is it that actually makes the green cones in our eyes react to green and not some other colour? Presumably some particular reaction?
- Why are the green minerals green?
- Why are the green fireworks green, what are the chemical reactions causing this? Can anything be said about the types of reaction that tend to cause green light?
- Why is chlorophyll green ie is there a particular reason it doesn't absorb in the green part of the spectrum? I would naively have assumed that plants might have evolved to absorb well in all parts of the spectrum if it helped them get more energy from the sun.
- 'Green is restful to the eye. Studies show that a green environment can reduce fatigue' - I think you need to explain this better. Is this body fatigue or eye fatigue (when your eyes feel 'tired'). Presumably putting someone in a green room doesn't make them less tired than they were before. What is the comparison with, a white environment? JMiall₰ 20:38, 22 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 8 February 2008, 19:36 UTC)
[edit] Russian Business Network
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because:
- It is of a highly topical nature and regularly quoted as a key reference in many of the world's newspapers, technical magazines, internet security websites and blogs. Therefore it should be of the highest quality representing Wikipedia.
- Although I started this article and have since added citations and references, the purpose of the article was to accurately inform. To begin with the very subject nature was contentious and amorphous, however as the article has developed over time, it has become more concrete. Therefore it has evolved to become a work of the wider community in the spirit of Wikipedia.
- This article should be developed into a featured article status. Therefore any feedback on what else could be done to achieve this before nominating it for FA. At the very least I feel that it should be entered as a good article.
- I feel that Russian Business Network would be a suitable FA candidate, with any feedback provided. In terms of subject matter, it is not dissimilar to a similar topic Storm botnet which is an existing FA.
All constructive comments gratefully received,
Thanks,
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 05:59, 14 January 2008 (UTC)
It looks like a great start. You've collected a good number of sources, and for an article on an internet organization, it is natural that most of these are web sites. Here are some things that need fixing:
- You should try to avoid external links in the body of the article. These should be replaced with footnotes (including the links) in a standard format.
- The "external links" section, then, should be just a list of the most essential links.
- The coverage isn't quite comprehensive enough for an FA. I'd like to see more about the history of the organization and about the leaders of the organization. For example, do we know who the Russian politician you mention is?
- You need to carefully copyedit the prose throughout. The lead, for instance, has a stray comma and phrases such as "is has developed".
Good luck! Lesgles (talk) 03:50, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 8 February 2008, 19:37 UTC)
[edit] Dwarf planet
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I want to bring this to an FA-level. I have added all I could think about and now I need some feedback before I go ahead and nominate it. Thanks, Nergaal (talk) 03:19, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] delldot
Here are some thoughts:
- Done I'd recommend getting it through GA before trying for FA. I suspect the writing isn't "brilliant" enough for FA yet.
- Done The first sentence is long and confusing. Maybe you could put it in simpler terms? For example, instead of "it assumes hydrostatic equilibrium (that is, a near-spherical shape)" you could say "it assumes a near-spherical shape," and then discuss the details later.
- Done It looks like there are a few places you could tighten up the wording. For example, "The category dwarf planet is not a subset of the category planet, but a separate category altogether; that is to say, a dwarf planet is not a planet" could be "A dwarf planet is not a planet."
- Done This sentence is awkward: "it became clear that they all would either have to be called planets or Pluto would have to be reclassified." But I couldn't figure out how to reword it myself.
- Done Maybe instead of the massive IAU quote in [[Dwarf planet#History of the name|]], you could paraphrase. That way you could avoid awkward stuff like the [1] and the horizontal line.
Not sure. I suggest combing the article for repetitive wording. For example, "This concept is combined with a concept of..."
-
- Cannot find what you are referring to. Can you be a bit specific?Nergaal
(talk) 12:00, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
-
- Done That particular sentence is under Dwarf planet#Orbital dominance. There are a couple cases where a word is repeated twice in two sentences. For example, can this sentence be reworded to be less repetitive? "There are several other theories that try to differentiate between planets and dwarf planets, but the current definition of what constitutes a planet uses this concept." I don't know if you can avoid saying "planet" twice, but maybe you can avoid the third use. Here's another one: "Vesta, however, appears to deviate from hydrostatic equilibrium only because of a large impact which occurred after Vesta solidified" Vesta Vesta ;-) So I suggest you give the whole article a reading looking specifically for cases of repetitive wording. delldot talk 15:16, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
I'm editing illicitly from work right now and have to go do something. More later ;) delldot on a public computer talk 11:03, 22 January 2008 (UTC)
- Done The article needs more inline citations, e.g. anywhere you put a number. I'm more compulsive about this than a lot of people are, but it's helpful especially with numbers because it's really easy and common for vandals to come along and change a number in a plausible way, so it makes it easier for vandal whackers if there's a quick way for them to check.
- Done [[Pluto prototype|remains nameless]] is an easter egg link.
- Done There are a lot of duplicate links, e.g. hydrostatic equillibrium is linked a bunch of times.
- Done The article has some stuff like ~.78, which should be turned to ~0.78 per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (dates and numbers)#Decimal points, due to how easy it is to mistake it for ~78. That section also talks about keeping the same number of sig figs within a list, though in some of the tables that probably wouldn't be a good idea (e.g. where you have 95.2 and 0.00015 in the same table). But there'd be nothing wrong with like 42.0 in a table with other numbers like 6.2.
- Done This is just me being extremely picky, but some of the ref tags come after the punctuation and some come before. Either one is OK by the MOS (Go for after! Go for after! Ahem, sorry, bit of a personal preference there). I'm also a little nuts about not having a space in front of the reference tag.
- Done I advocate for getting rid of phrases like "one should also note," which I don't think add anything and sound too much like commentary. Check out these exercises for other ways to get rid of unnecessary wording.
Sorry to be so picky, it really is a great article! Note that I know nothing about the subject, so this review can only have advice on the writing, not the facts. delldot on a public computer talk 11:58, 22 January 2008 (UTC)
- Done Another minor thing - for your references that are just raw url's, you should go back and add information about author, date, title, publisher, and access date. If it's from a journal, you should provide a doi or link to the abstract if possible. delldot talk 18:04, 23 January 2008 (UTC)
A couple more things:
- Done I think "et al.", being latin, should be italicized, you may want to check to be sure.
- Done Should the table labelled "Dwarf planets orbital attributes" be called "Dwarf planets' orbital attributes"?
- I hope I haven't done you a disservice by reviewing this without knowing anything about the topic; if others glance at this review, they might think it's been sufficiently reviewed and not bother. Is there a wikiproject you could bring this to the attention of? You could leave a note on the talk page, hopefully that would bring some people familiar with the topic. delldot talk 15:16, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] other
- Done A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 04:52, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
- References check Nergaal (talk) 04:32, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 8 February 2008, 19:43 UTC)
[edit] Prague Spring
This peer review discussion has been closed.
This article is of course far from perfect, but I would like to get it to GA status eventually and would like to know what others think should be improved. The article was not long ago split into 2: Prague Spring and Soviet invasion of Czechoslovakia (1968) and also contains another relevant page called Normalization (Czechoslovakia), so please check those for additional info, also tips on formatting would be appreciated
Thanks,
The Dominator (talk) 05:32, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Review by Jayron32
Just going to run down the issues as I read the article, keeping the good article standards in mind as I do so.
- The lead is inadequately short. A lead section should fully summarize the article. This one is OK, but it could be expanded to include, for example, some of the aftermath information. see WP:LEAD.
- The article as a whole is inadequately referenced. Statements of opinion, superlative statements, and otherwise contentious information should always be referenced; in addition a good rule of thumb is to reference each paragraph to where it comes from. The only section that has any kind of reasonable referencing is the last one (Cultural impact).
- In addition, references should have full bibliographic information. You can either use the citation templates, or put the information in plain text; but all references should contain such information as authors, publishers, publication dates; and for websites access dates.
- As a whole, it is probably "broad" enough for GA; but if you ever plan to take this for FA, please consider expanding it quite a bit. Also, consider finding and using print references. For an historic event like this, there are likely OODLES of books to use to expand this article. Its a rather short article, and there is LOTS of room to expand, with more detailed information. As I said, it would probably pass GA at this level, but consider making a visit to the local library, and finding sources to expand it for an eventual FA run.
- I am not terribly good at the finer points of language and grammar; consider asking for a review from the League of Copyeditors. They do excellent work; generally I use them for the "final polish" when I am done researching and writing an article.
That ought to give you a start. If you have any more specific questions, or need any other help, let me know. --Jayron32.talk.contribs 02:04, 20 January 2008 (UTC)
- Alright, thanks!--The Dominator (talk) 04:51, 20 January 2008 (UTC)
- Review Round 2: The article is looking much better. The referencing is really becoming much more comprehensive. There are a few more tweaks needed before this would pass a GA review, but they are becoming relatively minor compared to the earlier problems I noted above.
- The references need proper formatting. The placement of references looks very good. It looks, from a cursory glance, that every thing that I believe should be referenced has been. However, properly cited references have the following format:
-
- For books: LastName, FirstName (Date). Title of Book. Publisher City, Publisher Name, page #'s, ISBN#
- For print periodicals and journals: LastName, FirstName (Date). "Article Title", Title of Journal. Issue& Volume of Journal, page #'s.
- For websites: LastName, FirstName (Date). "Article Title(linked to URL)", Title of Website, publisher of website, retreival date.
- Consider using the citation templates to organize this information. For example, at reference #26, you call it "Radio CZ article on Tom Stoppard." This is inadequate. using the {{cite web}} template, like this:
-
- {{cite web | last = Mastalir | first = Linda | date = 2006-06-28 | title = Tom Stoppard's "Rock 'n' Roll" | url = http://www.radio.cz/en/article/80581 | work = Current Affairs Archive | publisher = Radio Prague | accessdate = 2008-01-23}}
- The above will give us this:
-
- Mastalir, Linda (2006-06-28). Tom Stoppard's "Rock 'n' Roll". Current Affairs Archive. Radio Prague. Retrieved on 2008-01-23.
- if the citation templates are too cumbersome, you can format all of these in plain text, but I like using them (see WP:CITET for a full list) because it does the formatting for you. All references should be brought up to proper format.
- While we're at it, there are a few inaccuracies and other problems I spotted. Tom Stoppard is a playwrite, and "Rock 'n' Roll" is a play of his. It looks from your article like he was a musician of some sort. Move it to the Literature paragraph below it. Also, the "See Also" section should ONLY contain links to articles you haven't linked to already. The Soviet Invasion, Normalization, and Dubcek articles are already linked, so shouldn't be included here.
- If you fix up these few problems, this would be GA ready. Good luck, and if you need any more help, just drop me a note! --Jayron32.talk.contribs 17:10, 23 January 2008 (UTC)
- Re: Sources: By the way, you can ask me questions here. I have watchlisted this page now, so there is no need to ask on my talk page every time. I will see the question here and respond here. Now, back to the referencing. The important thing about referencing is that if the information exists, it is your obligation to include it. If it doesn't exist, well, then you can't say anything about it. Now, many reliable sources don't have authors. For example, the phone transcript of the Brezhnev conversation that you cited. Its an AWESOME source, but it obviously has no author. No bother, just make the reference as complete as possible. for that one, I would use:
-
- {{cite web | title = Document #81: Transcript of Leonid Brezhnev's Telephone Conversation with Alexander Dubček, August 13, 1968 | date = 1998 | url = http://www.gwu.edu/~nsarchiv/nsa/publications/DOC_readers/psread/doc81.htm | work = The Prague Spring '68 | publisher = The Prague Spring Foundation | accessdate = 2008-01-23}}
- Which will give you:
-
- Document #81: Transcript of Leonid Brezhnev's Telephone Conversation with Alexander Dubček, August 13, 1968. The Prague Spring '68. The Prague Spring Foundation (1998). Retrieved on 2008-01-23.
- With regard to the reliability of sources, having no author is not necessarily a concern, but having no author, publisher, copyright date, or ANY sort of atribution may be a problem. Just look at each source individually, and say "Would anyone have a reason to doubt the validity of this" Be honest with yourself. Generally, if something is true enough and important enough, enough people have covered it such that there is usally more than one place to find that information. Finding backup on your sources is generally a good idea anyways. If there are any more questions, just let me know! --Jayron32.talk.contribs 19:51, 23 January 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for all your help, I'm just waiting for a copyedit from one of the peer review volunteers that has agreed to help and it's off to GA review. I'm a little concerned about the lack of images in this article, though; we had one before, but it was deleted.--The Dominator (talk) 20:21, 23 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 04:51, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
- Refs are looking MUCH better, but it looks like you missed #'s 1, 2, 3 and 12, which still lack full bibliographic information. Don't forget about those! Other than that, once Marksell has finished his copyedit, this looks like it is ready for WP:GAN. Just fix those refs before you nominate it... --Jayron32.talk.contribs 08:17, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
-
- You think you could look at 1, 2 and 3 yourself? 'Cause unless I'm missing something I don't see anymore bibliographic info. As for #12 I'll see what I can do, but I am using the manifesto itself as a reference to what the manifesto says, is that OK? And where do I find bibliographic info for something that's forty years old?--The Dominator (talk) 15:25, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
-
- I'll see what I can do. As far as the Manifesto, is it republished in a book or something? If so, you may want to use that book as the source, and say something like "Yada yada Manifesto by So and So, republished in..." and give the book publication info... --Jayron32.talk.contribs 15:42, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
-
- I did what I could with the references. That Dubcek reference (3) is a tad sketchy. It'd probably pass GA, but still, are there NO OTHER Dubcek biographies (even print, online, ANYTHING) that is more reliable? I had to really dig to come up with ANY informtion on the publisher or source for that one, and I didn't see anything there that I would not expect to find at a more reliable place. Just an idea. The other two (1 and 2) also required a little digging, but at least those looked a little better. Even those, I wouldn't give up entirely on trying to finding alternate sources. The first source you find is not always the best... --Jayron32.talk.contribs 15:53, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
-
- Regarding the manifesto: Currently I live in a small town and the local library is... well, terrible so I don't really have access to books at the moment, I did a Google books search and all I could find were vague references to the manifesto, although it played a fairly important role during the reforms. As for a biography of Dubcek I'm sure there are better ones, and I'll look, in fact there are probably better printed ones that are already referenced in this article at some point.--The Dominator (talk) 15:57, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
-
- Good deal. Remember, there's no rush on this. If it takes a few days or weeks to dig up your original source of the Manifesto, so be it, or if it takes longer to find a better source for the ones i noted, so be it... Just don't forget about it, but you look to care enough about this, and I trust it will get done as soon as feasible. Remember, Wikipedia is in no rush... --Jayron32.talk.contribs 16:02, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
- Good deal. Remember, there's no rush on this. If it takes a few days or weeks to dig up your original source of the Manifesto, so be it, or if it takes longer to find a better source for the ones i noted, so be it... Just don't forget about it, but you look to care enough about this, and I trust it will get done as soon as feasible. Remember, Wikipedia is in no rush... --Jayron32.talk.contribs 16:02, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 8 February 2008, 19:44 UTC)
[edit] Heuschrecke 10
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it has passed GA class and has had a lot of content added to it, see this diff. I want some feed back as to what it still currently needs, or what is "wrong" with it. Thanks, Dreamy § 23:12, 20 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 04:33, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 8 February 2008, 19:47 UTC)
[edit] Medieval household
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I'm pretty happy with this article, and would like to put it up for FA. I'd like to get some input though, on language/clarity in particular, and formatting. As for the content, I'd be happy if someone more expert could look at the "Regional variations" bit.
Thanks,
Lampman (talk) 02:00, 22 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 04:30, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
- I'd like to point out that the article is very new (created 22 January) and is currently also a good article nomination. I recommend that this PR be archived until the article's GA status has been discussed. Having them both active at the same time will most likely lead to discussions about improvements being duplicated. The improvement of the article will be so much more efficient we limit ourselves to one method of quality assessment at a time. Peter Isotalo 12:06, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 8 February 2008, 19:49 UTC)
[edit] Edward VII of the United Kingdom
This peer review discussion has been closed.
Any comments welcome. I've run the automated reviewer already. DrKiernan (talk) 09:48, 22 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 8 February 2008, 19:50 UTC)
[edit] Harry and the Potters discography
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… it has failed to achieve featured list status twice. I would like to know how I can improve the article, so that it follows the criteria. Length has been addressed and now am wondering how it can become "a timeline of important events on a notable topic" - I believe it requires third-party sources, however I am unable of finding any. I am looking for any suggestions about improving the article, meeting the criteria or if you would be so kind, directly editing the article. Thanks! Hpfan9374 (talk) 10:22, 22 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 04:21, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 8 February 2008, 19:51 UTC)
[edit] Jake Delhomme
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've made some substantive improvements on this page over the last several months, and I'd like to know what more needs to be done to improve it to GA status. I know it needs pictures, but I can't find any free pics, and I'm really hesitant to piss off the fair use Nazis on this site. I'm more focused on the copyediting at this point; pictures will come later. Anthony Hit me up... 17:43, 22 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Friday 8 February 2008, 19:56 UTC)
[edit] Eli Manning
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I am trying to elevate this article to GA and eventually FA status, and I would like an outside opinion on the work that has been done so far before I apply for a GA nomination. EDIT I know the page needs to be cited better, and I am working on it. Please give your opinion on the article itself, not its references. Thanks. Edit made: 03:46, 23 January 2008 (UTC)
Thanks,
J.delanoygabsadds 19:15, 22 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Friday 8 February 2008, 19:57 UTC)
[edit] Iowa Democratic caucuses, 2008
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…
The article has changed dramatically in the last two weeks. Are there any ways in which it can be improved? Are there any gaps in the information provided? I realize that the section "Economic impact" may be too short compared to the other sections. Do you recommend an expansion?
Thanks,
Dem393 (talk) 03:36, 23 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Friday 8 February 2008, 19:58 UTC)
[edit] Abani Mukherji
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I think that the initial article went through some substantial improvements in content in the aftermath of its DYK posting, and I would like to know if there are ways to improve also its layout, language, style and content further to make it a FAC.
Thanks, Soman (talk) 13:21, 23 January 2008 (UTC)
- I think it is a well-referenced and interesting article. However, instead of citing the same book (OP Ralhan) 8 times in the references, make two sections ("notes" and "references") that each book is cited once. See Western_Chalukya_Empire#Notes and Western_Chalukya_Empire#References for an example.Bakaman 00:44, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Friday 8 February 2008, 20:01 UTC)
[edit] Faith No More discography
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to know how it can be further improved before I submit it to WP:FLC.
Thanks,
Balthazar (T|C) 01:27, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Friday 8 February 2008, 20:02 UTC)
[edit] Allen Iverson
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it's an important article, and I want it to be maintained.
Thanks,
Basketball110 04:42, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 00:50, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 8 February 2008, 20:03 UTC)
[edit] Shaquille O'Neal
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because this is in close grasp of GA, and possibly FA, and therefore need to "scratch" that bit about "close grasp", and say GOT GA, and possibly FA, but reviewing it is the only way to do that. If you can understand that, you're up for the challenge.
Thanks,
Basketball110 04:48, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 00:50, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 8 February 2008, 20:04 UTC)
[edit] Pat Riley
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it's become a little shaky. It could be better.
Thanks,
Basketballoneten 03:44, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Friday 8 February 2008, 20:06 UTC)
[edit] John Lennon
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it needs a scan by people that are not involved in editing Lennon. Thanks, --andreasegde (talk) 18:05, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Friday 8 February 2008, 20:07 UTC)
[edit] Terra Nova Expedition
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… it was recently given GA status after intensive development and rewriting, and I think it can go further, to Feature Article status perhaps. I'd welcome comments which address 4 basic questions: Is it accurate? Is it comprehensive - anything important left out or underplayed? Is it fair (given the contentious atmosphere around anything to do with Scott)? and is it readable?
Thanks, Brianboulton (talk) 23:05, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
- Yes, yes, yes - no, and yes. A couple of points that will play against it at FAC:
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- The lead is poor: it isn't a summary of the article, stresses the principal aim without any references as to why it needs stressing (and hence is assuming some prior knowledge), and redirects the reader off to a subsection of an inferior article as its final act. If the "Scott was a hero/fool" debate isn't worth covering in more than a couple of paragraphs here (and in my opinion it isn't), then it isn't worth mentioning in the lead.
- I've amended the first para of the introduction to remove any ambiguity about the main objective. To strengthen this intro as a summary of the article I've transferred the 2nd para to Background, and have extended the third paragraph. I think it is necessary to retain a mention of the controversies, or "debate", but I have removed the link to the Scott article and I have slightly expanded my "Aftermath" section to demonstrate the nature, but not the detail, of these issues. Brianboulton (talk) 00:57, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
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- It's a bit listy - the member list could be rewritten as prose: it's an ugly introduction to the rest of the well-constructed article, the formatting is inconsistent and the links to photographs incomplete. The chapter-like subheadings in "Voyage out" are unnecessary and distracting and the Appendices could be moved to "See also" or absorbed into the text. Appendix 1 is particularly uninspiring.
- I've converted the personnel lists into a prose paragraph which doesn't mention them all but says something about the more important figures. This has had a knock-on effect on the Preparation section, which I have revised into new sub-sections - Background, Personnel, Finance & Expedition Plan. The content is generally as it was before, though presented slightly differently. As to the photolinks agaisnst certain names, these were placed by an earlier editor (together with others that no longer worked and which I got rid of some time ago. I've looked at them again and decided that only the one linked to Herbert Ponting is worth saving. This is in "See also", and the rest have gone' I have removed the sub-headings in "Voyage Out" - I agree they don't work well. As to the appendices, I've got rid of Nos 1 and 3, and transferred 2 into the text. No 1 had, on reflection, nothing to add to the article, and 3 was probbaly too trivial to warrant the space. Brianboulton (talk) 00:57, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
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- Decide on the capitalisation and italicisation of Terra Nova Expedition. I'd go for all caps, no italics, but whatever you choose be consistent.
- It will be Terra Nova Expedition as the formal title of the expedition, Terra Nova for the ship, and "the expedition" (no caps) for general reference. I will go through again for consistency. Brianboulton (talk) 00:57, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
- Two books listed under sources are missing ISBN numbers.
- ISBN numbers added. I am using a 1913 edition of Scott's Last Expedition and that doesn't have one. Brianboulton (talk) 00:57, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
- Thank you Brianboulton (talk) 00:57, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
- It looks better. You have a 1913 edition of Scott's Last Expedition? If it has the dust jacket you could sell it and fund your own mini expedition (You got the two ISBNs I was referring to anyway). I removed the "See..." sentence from the end of the lead. The lead should be self-contained, and as an introduction you should assume the reader will then read the rest of the article. I noticed a few other points:
- Many of the distances and weights appear only as Imperial measurements (a few are converted but not many)
- It looks better. You have a 1913 edition of Scott's Last Expedition? If it has the dust jacket you could sell it and fund your own mini expedition (You got the two ISBNs I was referring to anyway). I removed the "See..." sentence from the end of the lead. The lead should be self-contained, and as an introduction you should assume the reader will then read the rest of the article. I noticed a few other points:
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- I have added metric equivalents to all distances and weights Brianboulton (talk) 16:16, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
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- Dashes need looking at (I can never work out what dashes to use where, but there are plenty of people who are expert in this)
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- I think I've observed the protocols for hyphens, dashes etc but I'm sure someone will tell me I haven't Brianboulton (talk) 16:16, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
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- Lots of the wikilinks are piped to Antarctica - I'd suggest having a hunt around for the articles to see if they exist anywhere, but if not leave them as redlinks rather than piping them all to the same article (If anybody complains about them at FAC my former incarnation will metaphorically kick them up the arse)
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- I've removed several Antarctica pipes as I've found the articles existing in their own right. In one case I found a better pipe Brianboulton (talk) 16:16, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
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- I'm not keen on the self-referential rhetorical style you've introduced in the Aftermath section. It's a personal preference, but I find it jars with the rest of the article. If you are providing a brief overview you should be able to make that clear without a statement of intent. It won't stop me supporting, but I'd prefer to see it more in the style of the rest of the article. Yomanganitalk 01:48, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
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- I have amended the wording to strike a more neutral tone.
- Incidentally, my 1913 SLE is second impression, so no expedition funds there Brianboulton (talk) 16:16, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Monday 11 February 2008, 13:36 UTC)
[edit] Harry and the Potters' split 7" with the Zambonis
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because, I am currently editing the GA Harry and the Potters article and the FLC Harry and the Potters discography. I have asked for a peer review for this article along with other albums by Harry and the Potters to receive feedback to edit these articles to achieve B or even GA status. I believe this could also help achieve featured article and featured list status on the other articles. I would appreciate all comments and suggestions on expanding this article and all other Harry and the Potters albums, as the band does not receive much press 'attention', I would like to know what lyrical content can be displayed and how this can be formatted.
Thanks, Hpfan9374 (talk) 03:25, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
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- Comments from Reaper X
What else can I say: expand, expand, expand! What kind of background informaton led to the decision to make this EP? Did the bands do any promotion gigs? Was there any reviews, any critical reception? Most importantly, there has to be references. Your best to look at any articles on albums that are of good or featured status, and I find that is the best spot for inspiration. Beyond that, all I have to say good luck! -- Reaper X 03:49, 28 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Monday 11 February 2008, 20:56 UTC)
[edit] Timeline of Jane Austen
This peer review discussion has been closed.
Simmaren and Awadewit have started working on a series of articles about Jane Austen. This is the first in that series. We are planning on taking this to FLC, so please critique accordingly. We would like to thank all Janeites and non-Janeites in advance for their assistance on this project! Awadewit | talk 18:20, 20 January 2008 (UTC)
- A quick gripe - references 11, 16 and 18 don't have page references and surely can't all be from one page each, can they? I think FAC buffs might be a little put off by this. Seegoon (talk) 12:30, 21 January 2008 (UTC)
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- Just a quick look during my lunch hour... (I've no literary genes).
- The lead reads well and introduces the subject nicely. However, the third paragraph, on the historical context, ends a bit flat and the last sentence almost seems stuck-on rather than concluding the overview.
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- When you've finished polishing, ask User:Brighterorange nicely to run his script to tidy up all the hyphen/ndash inconsistencies.
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- The images embedded in the table have no caption (which is fine) but they should have some alt-text (for screen readers and also tooltips). You can supply this by adding "|some text here" to the end of the image spec. (You should really to this for the other literary timelines).
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- Jack Lynch's "Eighteenth-Century Chronology" is a personal homepage. He may well be a learned professor, but this is still self-published. See WP:SPS — I suspect the "in some circumstances" get-out-clause isn't relevant here as these are historical events that could be alternatively sourced.
- The events could be sourced to separate history books, but that would be tedious and unnecessary. I also wanted to make sure that the timeline retained some semblance of coherence - that I wasn't constructing the timelines myself out of thin air. Lynch's site is a good one - it is accessible to people reading on the web and is recommended by the moderators of the primary 18th-century listserv in academia (see here). Since the author is an academic, the site is recommended by other academics (and this is not the only site - it is recommended frequently), and it is by far the most comprehensive online timeline that I could find for the eighteenth century, I think it is a good source to use. Awadewit | talk 04:57, 28 January 2008 (UTC)
- Jack Lynch's "Eighteenth-Century Chronology" is a personal homepage. He may well be a learned professor, but this is still self-published. See WP:SPS — I suspect the "in some circumstances" get-out-clause isn't relevant here as these are historical events that could be alternatively sourced.
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- I found the the "Romantic Chronology" source website to be rather flaky (it is built on some rather old technology). There does appear to be some editorial control, though it also appears that "developers" can edit pages directly. The pages don't cite their sources. It strikes me as more of a project than a product if you get what I mean. I'd be happier with a book from a good publisher but... Do you think literary students would get away with using such sources? Are these sites respected or just seen as starting-points for research?
- Actually, for a humanities endeavor, this is a very impressive project. The two general editors are at the forefront of Romantic scholarship (one of the editors also edited a prominent anthology used to teach Romanticism, for example - Wu) and the scholars on the review board are some of the best in the field. I found this to be the best source available for the timeline - in print or on the web. Timelines like this are not really published anymore. I think that students could definitely cite this timeline. I might also mention that few timelines cite their sources. Awadewit | talk 04:57, 28 January 2008 (UTC)
- I found the the "Romantic Chronology" source website to be rather flaky (it is built on some rather old technology). There does appear to be some editorial control, though it also appears that "developers" can edit pages directly. The pages don't cite their sources. It strikes me as more of a project than a product if you get what I mean. I'd be happier with a book from a good publisher but... Do you think literary students would get away with using such sources? Are these sites respected or just seen as starting-points for research?
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- Why was "A Chronology of Jane Austen and her Family: 1700-2000" not used as a source? Is it because that author's chapter in "The Cambridge Companion to Jane Austen." was a condensed version that was adequate for the purposes here? Did you not consult it at all?
- I haven't studied the body in detail, though others are more capable of identifying issues wrt Jane Austin than me! I noticed your talk page discussion about what to include wrt historical context. Don't let the views of one stubborn reviewer mould your article into a form you dislike. Consensus of wikipedians is what we are after, not acceptance by one or two "important" reviewers. If you can include a number of literary/historical expert wikipedians in that discussion, and come to a consensus prior to FLC, then you can point to it as an already-resolved issue. Colin°Talk 13:11, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Monday 11 February 2008, 20:58 UTC)
[edit] Cranford, New Jersey
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because there is quite a bit of information in the article and im not quite sure how to manage all of it. I'd also like feedback on areas that need further research and/or pictures.
Thanks,
Mystache (talk) 06:29, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
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I'd probably assess this article at the Start or early B classes on the assessment scale. There's some information starting to be collected here, but organization and structure is lacking, so it's not quite there yet. Inline citations are used, but not nearly enough to pass the Good article criteria (much less the [[WP:WIAFA}Featured article criteria]]).
Other issues include:
- Lack of a 'history' section. This should be the first section listed, and should contain a historical description of events in the city, starting with initial settlement and going through the present.
- The second major section should be 'geography', which is there. In addition to a basic description of the topography of the landscape, include information on weather & climate, possibly as a subsection. A 'cityscape' subsection should also be found here, with info on the various neighborhoods and parts of town, and how they are connected.
- 'Demographics' should be next; the information that's there now was added several years ago by an automated bot that put 2000 census data into Wikipedia. It's minimally acceptable, but it would be nice to go into additional details on the different ethnic groups that settled, and what neighborhoods they settled in. Maybe include some data on the average education levels of residents, and religious affiliations.
- 'Economy' should come next. Talk about the businesses and industry in the city.
- After that, the order can vary a little bit. Rather than going step-by-step here, I'll direct you to the WP:CITIES guideline for US city articles, which you can find here. You might also want to take a look at WP:LEAD for tips on improving the lead section, which should be a summary of the article text itself (kind of like an abstract).
- Also, try not to focus too much on popular culture reference (e.g. 'cranford in film and television'). Lots of people like to add this stuff to articles, but so much is of minimal importance, if at all. Sure, if a major film or TV show was filmed in the town, include it, but if your city was just mentioned in a single line in some sit-com, that's hardly worth noting. It's also better to actually write out things like this as prose, instead of bulleted lists, discussing how these popular culture references actually relate to the city itself. Bulleted lists seem to just motivate other pea-brained editors to just add more bullets; prose will actually provide something useful and meaningful.
- Take a look at some other city articles that are current FA and GAs, including Minneapolis, Minnesota, Flagstaff, Arizona, and Richmond, Virginia, for some good examples.
Hope this points you in the right direction. Hope to see Cranford nominated for GA or FA soon! Cheers! Dr. Cash (talk) 19:18, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Monday 11 February 2008, 20:59 UTC)
[edit] Princess Louise, Duchess of Argyll
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I wish to get it to FA status. I will respond to comments as quickly as possible. Thanks, PeterSymonds | talk 18:44, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Monday 11 February 2008, 21:00 UTC)
[edit] CNR Radio
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I've created it from scratch (it's about North America and Canada's first radio network) and would like a few second opinions, suggestions and contributions.
Thanks,
Reggie Perrin (talk) 05:05, 23 January 2008 (UTC)
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- Comments by User:GeeJo
A nice, neat little article on a fairly obscure subject. Here are my first impressions, mostly minor fixes:
- Lede: The lede is far too short. For an article this size, something similar to the ledes of Hurricane Irene (2005) or Homer's Phobia would probably be appropriate. See WP:LEAD for some advice.
- Origins: "already established network" needs a hyphen.
Done
- Aims: Minister of Railways and Canals (Canada) could do with a link. Since everyone who has held that position has a Wikipedia article, it may be worth identifying and linking the person being quoted.
- Done
- Aims: Use <blockquote> or one of the templates at Template:Quotation for quotations over a sentence or two. I prefer the former, myself.
- Done
- Programming: There are a lot of one-sentence paragraphs in the section. If you can, try to merge them – it'll improve the flow.
- Done although a bit more expansion wouldn't hurt here
- Programming: simulcast could do with being linked.
- Done
- Programming: "Romance of Canada was a series of radio plays written by Merrill Denison was produced out of CNR's Montreal studios with renowned BBC radio playwright Tyrone Guthrie as director of the first 14 episodes." - needs an "and" and a comma.
- Programming: "kindle in Canadians generally a deeper interest in the romantic early history of their country." - another one of these asinine MoS dictats, but since the quotation isn't a sentence in itself, the full stop needs to be outside the quotation marks.
- Done
- Operations: 3 of the stations - Spell out three.
- Done
- Operations: a strength of 500 Watts - Link Watts, insert a non-breaking space (& nbsp; without the space) between number and unit.
- Done
- Operations: 3 of the stations, CNRA, CNRV and CNRO were owned by the CNR (and transmitted at a strength of 500 Watts) while the rest of the network was made up of "phantom stations" which consisted of time leased on existing privately owned radio stations which would use a CNR callsign during times of the day when it was leased by the railway after which the CNR station would "sign off" and the regular station would resume broadcast. - Run-on sentence, and quite hard to follow at the end.
- Done
- Demise: One or two more one-sentence paragraphs
- Done
- Demise: US => U.S.
- Done
- Demise: "network - CPR Radio - but" Hyphens used instead of m-dashes.
- Done
- Demise: Same sentence, the use of both "though" and "but" makes it read slightly clumsily.
- Done
- Demise: "Liberal government" but "Conservative Party government". Be consistent.
- Done
- Two 404s on the external links show up with the linkchecker. May just be temporary, but keep an eye on it.
- Done
- I've no problem with the article being written in AmE, but be prepared for people to moan about an article on a Canadian subject not being written in CwE. No need to "fix" this, just pointing it out.
Inconclusive "Canadian" English tends to borrow from both AmE and CwE; ideally, the article spellings should tend towards CwE for what is a British colonial topic of the time. However, I couldn't find any specifically American wording. Someone else will need to specify any AmE words to consider. Dl2000 (talk) 22:49, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Monday 11 February 2008, 21:02 UTC)
[edit] Flea (musician)
This peer review discussion has been closed.
The road to FAC nears, but in order to completely quell any issues that may arise, I've started this Peer Review. I know there are some editors out there who are just dying to help. NSR77 TC 01:03, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
- Comments from User:WesleyDodds
Comments (more might be added with time):
- Some of the detail from the paragraph about Frusciante and Chad Smith joining the band is unnecessary for the article. for example, instead of saying "The band held a widely-publicized audition, and hired Chad Smith—the last of over thirty to audition", just mention that Chad Smith became the new drummer. Done
- Indicate whether Flea was acquitted of the charges at MTV Spring Break, or if the case was thrown out. Done
- You probably don't want to mention every little guest appearance he's made, but it might be worth indicating he played on a song on Jane's Addiction's Nothing Shocking. Done
- Listing the band's singles isn't necessary (ie. "singles "Knock Me Down" and "Higher Ground" were breaking the top ten in charts like Modern Rock Tracks.[33])" At most just mention how successful a given album is. Remember, what's important to focus on is Flea's role in the band whenever discussing the band. Done WesleyDodds (talk) 04:47, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
- I'll try and add some info about Flea's tour with Jane's Addiction from the Jane's Addiction bio I have.
- Mention that one of his homes burned down. It was covered by a number of news sources. Done
- Try to find some quotes from other musicians about Flea's bass-playing. He's well-respected among other artists; I remember during VH1's "100 Greatest Artists of Hard Rock" countdown, Fieldy of Korn talked about how Flea influenced his bass-playing.
- I added something Billy Corgan said but I couldn't find anything from Fieldy. If you wouldn't mind finding the source I'll add the quote. NSR77 TC 20:13, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
- It's in the "100 Greatest Artists of Hard Rock" countdown on VH1 from 2000 or 2001, fourth episode (the Chili Peppers ranked at number 30). WesleyDodds (talk) 00:19, 28 January 2008 (UTC)
- Are you sure you don't mean The Meters instead of The Meteors? The Meteors are a psychobilly band, not a funk one.
- Flea's acting career: You might want to name the character Flea voices in The Wild Thornberrys, and possibly even mention his role in the lead. Just by glancing at the show's article, Flea apparently voices one of the regular characters, and is not just a guest star. Also, mention the Simpsons episode ("Krusty Gets Kancelled") and possibly his appearance on an episode of The Ben Stiller Show (I saw a rerun of it once, where Ben Stiller and Flea would do bits in-between sketches and then played a game of basketball). Replace the image in "Film and television appearances" with one of his acting roles (either a character he has played, or an appearance he has made as himself). WesleyDodds (talk) 04:47, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
- I did most everything except for adding the Ben Stiller bit. And Flea's role in the television show doesn't actually involve him speaking but rather strange...noises. If you look on YouTube you may find something. I couldn't find a suitable picture of him in any movie for the life of me but something will eventually turn up. NSR77 TC 20:13, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
A pretty good article overall. However, the big problem with the article is that it once it gets to the formation of the Chili Peppers, it largely becomes a history of the band with Flea's involvement discussed when appropriate. Instead, think of the Chili Peppers as the job Flea holds, and try to focus on making it more biographical. WesleyDodds (talk) 04:47, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
- Unfortunately, his life is the Chili Peppers. Unlike Frusciante, Flea doesn't make solo records and collaborate in that form. Anything written about the Peppers in here is essential, or else the reader wouldn't understand what's going on. Kiedis' biography Scar Tissue sees him talking mainly about his early years, the Chili Peppers and his love life. Not too much else. And the "RHCP formation" section only refers to the band once. NSR77 TC 23:07, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
- Comments from User:CloudNine
Several comments (and musings):
- ".. , of which he is a founding member". Sounds a little awkward. Perhaps combine it with the previous clause? Done
- I'd use Michael Balzary until he adopts the name Flea, but it's your choice here (like I did with Frank Black)
- That was how the article was initially written but Grim-Gym felt it needed to be the same throughout. I'll figure it out with him. NSR77 TC 20:13, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
- "He rejoined Slovak to form an intended one-off band along with fellow high school alumni Anthony Kiedis and Jack Irons. This band soon evolved into the Red Hot Chili Peppers". Perhaps merge the two sentences by rephrasing the first? The second sentence sounds a little short. Done
- "His teachers considered him to be a prodigy". Would be interesting to hear more about this. Done
- This was mentioned in the Behind the Music episode and I added everything that was there. NSR77 TC 20:13, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
- Several grammar tips:
- "In order to" can generally be replaced with just "To"
- "Due to" and "because of" are interchangeable, so you may want to mix the two to offer some variety.
- (A suggestion from one of my FACs.) With quotations, it's fine to begin the sentence with the quote itself. An example from the second para of Early life: "I was raised in a very violent, alcoholic household", Flea later said, "I grew up being terrified of my parents, particularly my father figures. It caused [me] a lot of trouble later in life." It actually flows much better (and is less repetitive)
There'll be more to come. CloudNine (talk) 11:01, 26 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Monday 11 February 2008, 21:04 UTC)
[edit] Alba Iulia
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it needs quite a bit of improvement.
Thanks,
Basketballoneten 01:30, 26 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Monday 11 February 2008, 21:06 UTC)
[edit] Ultima I: The First Age of Darkness
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer-review, since I've been working on it for a while now and feel that I've managed to include all the basic important information so far. I'm hoping to get a re-rating by the computer and video games project, and maybe go for good article status. In particular, I would like someone who's not familiar with the game to read through it and point out anything that may not make sense.
Thanks very much!
PirateMink 11:38, 26 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Monday 11 February 2008, 21:07 UTC)
[edit] NoitulovE
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've been working on creating a standardised layout for television advertisements based on the current television episode FAs, as current offerings (such as Cog (television commercial)) are somewhat lacklustre in execution. noitulovE is the most comprehensive one to date, and has been rated as a Good Article, but there're a few things that need checking before I start thinking about putting it through the WP:FAC meat-grinder. What I'm particularly looking for is someone to read through and point out any passages that could do with a copy edit. I've read the thing too many times now to spot even the most egregious errors. Any opinions on the infobox, the scrolling awards list, or any other aspect would also be greatly appreciated :) GeeJo (t)⁄(c) • 16:49, 26 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Monday 11 February 2008, 21:08 UTC)
[edit] George Stephanopoulos
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because a lot could be added to this article. Some of it's sections could be larger, but I don't have all of that information, so peer review is the best way to get it.
Thanks,
Basketballoneten 18:25, 26 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Monday 11 February 2008, 21:10 UTC)
[edit] Paris Hilton discography
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…
I want to make it a Featured List.
Thanks,
— Jhn* 20:36, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
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- Tip wait before she will actually have enough stuff for a real list. The article is nothing more than a stub, and probably there are not enough things to add to get it to a B-level article.Nergaal (talk) 09:36, 28 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Monday 11 February 2008, 21:11 UTC)
[edit] Zeitgeist (Smashing Pumpkins album)
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I am requesting a peer review on this article to get a broader perspective on it's quality, and hopefully improve it so it can be submitted as a good article candidate. Feedback on anything is welcome.
Cheers. -- Reaper X 03:38, 28 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Monday 11 February 2008, 21:12 UTC)
[edit] History of Ipswich Town F.C.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
This article has been expanded over the past couple of weeks from 20K with two citations to 44K with 85 citations, primarily by me and User:Dweller. I think it's pretty comprehensive in terms of the history of the club but, no doubt, as I've become too close to it, the prose needs work and there may be clear errors that I'm missing since I can no longer see the wood for the trees! My ultimate goal is to take this article to WP:FAC but won't do so until this PR runs a good and thorough course. As always, I humbly bare my soul open to the scrutiny of the community and thank you in advance for the time and effort you may spend providing me with feedback. I will endeavour to handle all comments, criticism etc as openly and quickly as possible. Cheers everyone... The Rambling Man (talk) 17:07, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Tuesday 12 February 2008, 17:36 UTC)
[edit] Atom
This peer review discussion has been closed.
Dear Peer Reviewer,
Over the past few months this article has undergone significant expansion and, hopefully, improvement. I believe it has become a reasonably comprehensive, high-level summary on the topic of atoms. The article is still in need of references in a few sections and I am working to address that concern. My hope is that lay readers will find this an approachable article on the topic that doesn't require a degree in physics. It would be greatly appreciated if you could spend a few minutes reviewing the article and seeing what needs to be improved. I'm especially interested in knowing about parts of the article that may need a better explanation, as well as any other topics you believe should be covered. (Note that the article does not cover the topic of elements in great detail, as these are the focus of the chemical element article.)
Thank you!—RJH (talk) 20:07, 9 January 2008 (UTC)
- Note: Because of its length, this peer review is not transcluded. It is still open and located at Wikipedia:Peer review/Atom/archive2.
(Peer review added on Tuesday 12 February 2008, 18:09 UTC)
[edit] The Hobbit
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because a few months ago it had a lot of activity from several editors, all making great improvements. The article has been stable for a while now, and I'm looking for input to guide it to the GA and eventually FA status.
Thank you
Davémon (talk) 19:40, 4 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 01:22, 5 January 2008 (UTC)
- One big thing I notice about the article now is that it's not aligned to the Novels WikiProject article template. Right now it has good information, but I think the formatting of the article needs to be standardized. It's not difficult to do, but it may require some thought about the appropriateness of some of the information in the article. You can find the article template here.Victorianist (talk) 16:23, 23 January 2008 (UTC)
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- Thank you, an interesting point. I think the editors have been following the model of The Hobbits 'big brother' The Lord of the Rings which had got to FA. Striking a balance between the two models may be the best course of action. --Davémon (talk) 20:48, 23 January 2008 (UTC)
- Having read over the article again, what strikes me is that the article has a very solid overview of publication history. As a scholar of literature, however, the article leaves me disappointed since there is very little effort made to bring together the thought of scholars on the book. Here is a list (in MLA format) of some journal articles that probably should be read and reference in the article:
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- Albero Poveda, Jaume. "Narrative Models in Tolkien's Stories of Middle-Earth." Journal of English Studies 4 (2003): 7-22.
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- Burns, Marjorie. "Echoes of William Morris's Icelandic Journals in J. R. R. Tolkien." Studies in Medievalism 3, no. 3-4 (1991): 367-73.
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- Chance, Jane. "Is there a Text in this Hobbit? Peter Jackson's Fellowship of the Ring." Literature/Film Quarterly 30.2 (2002): 79-85.
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- Croft, Janet Brennan. "Beyond the Hobbit: J. R. R. Tolkien's Other Works for Children." World Literature Today: A Literary Quarterly of the University of Oklahoma 78.1 (2004): 67-70.
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- Donaldson, Mara E. "Baptizing the Imagination: The Fantastic as the Subversion of Fundamentalism." Journal of the Fantastic in the Arts 8, no. 2 [30] (1997): 185-97.
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- Green, William H. "King Thorin's Mines: The Hobbit as Victorian Adventure Novel." Extrapolation: A Journal of Science Fiction and Fantasy 42.1 (2001): 53-64.
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- ---. "'Where's Mama?' the Construction of the Feminine in the Hobbit." Lion and the Unicorn: A Critical Journal of Children's Literature 22.2 (1998): 188-95.
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- Hieatt, Constance B. "The Text of the Hobbit: Putting Tolkien's Notes in Order." English Studies in Canada 7.2 (1981): 212-24.
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- Livingston, Michael. "The Shell-Shocked Hobbit: The First World War and Tolkien's Trauma of the Ring." Mythlore: A Journal of J.R.R.Tolkien, C.S.Lewis, Charles Williams, and Mythopoeic Literature 25, no. 1-2 [95-96] (2006): 77-92.
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- Morrison, Ronald D. "'I Much Prefer History, True Or Feigned': Tolkien and Literary History." Kentucky Philological Review 19 (2005): 36-42.
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- Sullivan, C. W.,III. "J. R. R. Tolkien and the Telling of a Traditional Narrative." Journal of the Fantastic in the Arts 7, no. 1 [25] (1996): 75-82.
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- Timmons, Daniel. "Hobbit Sex and Sexuality in the Lord of the Rings." Mythlore: A Journal of J.R.R.Tolkien, C.S.Lewis, Charles Williams, and Mythopoeic Literature 23, no. 3 [89] (2001): 70-9.
Victorianist (talk) 19:19, 2 February 2008 (UTC)
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- You're quite right, there isn't enough in the article about the reception of the book. The Themes and Style sections are quite scant in comparison to the publication history. I'll try to track down some of those essays and integrate some of the material in the appropriate places. Any help in the task would be much appreciated! --Davémon (talk) 21:47, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
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- If we could get some people to divide up the tasks of reading some of these articles and summarizing the claims into a few sentences, we could probably speed this process up. I'll try to read the first two articles listed here (Albero Poveda and Burns) since they're within the scope of my research. Victorianist (talk) 22:05, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
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- The References section is a bit of a mess. I would suggest that we should rework the references so that they can be standardized as inline parenthetical citations, with a Works Cited (although it would not have that title, it would go under the current References section) list at the end. I believe this would make the article better conform to the Wikipedia style guide. Footnotes can go in a Notes section, instead of a References section. This way, we don't clog up the article with repeated footnotes to the same page (see the current references section in the article for an example of what I mean). Victorianist (talk) 01:17, 5 February 2008 (UTC)
- The References section is a bit of a mess. I would suggest that we should rework the references so that they can be standardized as inline parenthetical citations, with a Works Cited (although it would not have that title, it would go under the current References section) list at the end. I believe this would make the article better conform to the Wikipedia style guide. Footnotes can go in a Notes section, instead of a References section. This way, we don't clog up the article with repeated footnotes to the same page (see the current references section in the article for an example of what I mean). Victorianist (talk) 01:17, 5 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Wednesday 13 February 2008, 01:29 UTC)
[edit] Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…
I have been watching this page for ages and protecting it from vandals. I would like to see what this pages strong points and weak points are.
Thanks,
EndlessDan 13:21, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 03:23, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
- The article currently has a lot of trivia and information from the unrated DVD release. These should be sourced and condensed to only include encyclopedic-related content. The article would also benefit from an expanded production section, information about the box office/critical reception, the sequel (which I haven't been able to buy anywhere yet!), any awards, and any other information you think relevant. If the article has sources added to it, the article could soon reach B status, and later GA. Once these issues have been addressed, list the article at Wikipedia:WikiProject Films/Assessment at "Requests for assessment" and I'll see if it should be assessed at a higher class.--Nehrams2020 (talk) 23:22, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Wednesday 13 February 2008, 01:30 UTC)
[edit] John the Painter
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I am desirous of feedback. While I am an experienced writer and editor, this is one of the few Wikipedia articles I have created from scratch.
Thanks,
Historymike (talk) 04:43, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 04:51, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
- This was a short and interesting read. Any information on how/when he was caught? BuddingJournalist 07:22, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Wednesday 13 February 2008, 01:31 UTC)
[edit] S Club
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I feel that I have taken the article as far as I have on my own, and I'm looking for a little bit of help so I can nominate it for FA. I wonder if people who don't know anything about S Club can gain a very good knowledge of the band, and those who do know about them have anything to add. Greatly appriciated. :) Thanks, - ǀ Mikay ǀ 12:04, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Wednesday 13 February 2008, 01:34 UTC)
[edit] Georgi Kinkladze
This peer review discussion has been closed.
This is a current good article about a recently retired Georgian footballer, with a format nominally based upon that of featured article Gilberto Silva. I'm looking for comments with a view to a possible featured article nomination at some point in the future. Oldelpaso (talk) 15:06, 26 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)
Hey Oldelpaso, I seem to recall providing comments at the GA so it's a pleasure to keep this article going on its journey!
- I think I said it before, it's worthwhile creating a stub (at least) for Mretebi Tbilisi.
- "...award in consecutive ..." - how many? I'm guessing two.
- done.
- "... joined Mretebi Tbilisi,..." just like that? He joined a pro club, did he get a contract etc?
- added a little more detail.
- "Dynamo Tbilisi" vs "Dinamo" - consistency required.
- changed to I's throughout.
- " As the hostilities continued, in 1993 the Tbilisi management sought to put their players in a more stable environment." - I'm confused because by this point I thought he'd been resigned by Dinamo/Dynamo?
- the Dinamo Tbilisi management (both clubs were from Tbilisi). Inserted "Dinamo" to make it clearer.
- "Career in Georgia" section is a little oddly titled considering you've already discussed two or three seasons of pro football in Georgia in the preceding section.
- " Dinamo president Merad Jordania was still uncomfortable with Kinkladze playing in Georgia amid political instability, and offered the player to Atletico Madrid for approximately £200,000." was there a motive for Jordania's seemingly amazing altruism and humanity here? Selling a player because he was worried about the political situation? This needs explanation I think. Ah, reading the next section it was a loan I think. It's not clear... Perhaps that was why I was confused earlier about the Tblisi/Dynamo thing?
- "Offered the player to Atletico Madrid" - he did not sign for them, he was on trial, the transfer fee would have been ~£200,000 if Atletico had taken up the offer. I have no further detail on motives, but it wasn't necessarily altruistic, he wouldn't have been able to make money on the player if something untoward happened to him during the unrest.
- Link Manchester City.
- "as part of a man of the match display" - is this cited or is it original research?
- My sources have lots of complimentary descriptions of his performance and imply it but do not explicitly use the phrase "man of the match", so removed.
- "15 July 1995" - wikilink per WP:DATE.
- Link Division One.
- All linking related ones done.
- "... proved a turbulent one for Manchester City..." why?
- As it goes on to say later in the sentence, the team was picked by five different managers that season. I don't think that requires any further explanation.
- "£5 million transfer fee. " - cite.
- done.
- Derby County section starts with several short sentences, consider improving the flow.
- "...but nothing came of it." - not keen, not sure it's grammatically correct either, there were multiple links...
- reworded.
- Goal of the Month or "Goal of the Month"?
- done.
- "noted...noting" - same sentence, not good prose.
- done.
- "Though a left-footed player, he did not perform well when played as a left winger, meeting with little success when playing there for Ajax." - needs citation lest it falls foul of WP:OR.
- Reworded and cited.
- Other things to consider are...
- A career statistics section.
- Honours section (although perhaps he didn't win anything!)
- Image(s). You'll need at least one for FA minimum standard.
Hope these comments help, feel free, as ever, to give me a shout about any of them or if I can be of any help otherwise. The Rambling Man (talk) 16:59, 26 January 2008 (UTC)
- Excellent feedback as always. Oldelpaso (talk) 18:03, 26 January 2008 (UTC)
- A career statistics section is hindered by the fact I have been unable to find a full breakdown of his Mretebi Tbilisi appearances. I might add an honours section, not much in the way of illustrious trophies, but he did win Georgian and Cypriot championships, and I could add his player of the year awards. I don't like to add fair use images, but one might be appropriate here. Or would it be better to investigate whether this CC licensed picture on Flickr could have the non-commercial restriction waived? Oldelpaso (talk) 19:54, 28 January 2008 (UTC)
- Yeah, no-one said it'd be easy! I was up at Bramall Lane yesteday - there's a new Gio on the block, hardly the same calibre mind you! The flickr picture (in my opinion) is virtually worthless. Don't know how you'd get away with fair use unless it's a seminal moment in his career... any ideas? Stats-wise, no-one will complain if you add "n/a" where the a is available.... tough call when you have ex-Soviet professional careers to take into account. Not a chance! Anyway, great work (as always) so far.. The Rambling Man (talk) 21:00, 28 January 2008 (UTC)
- I'm coming up against more gaps than I thought I would. It affects honours too, Dinamo won the double every season Kinkladze was there, but I have no idea which cup finals he did or didn't play in. As for images, the first things I thought of were his goal against Southampton or his long range goal against Wales, but I haven't found an image of either. Presumably he did the obligatory pic-with-shirt-and-scarf when he signed for City. I'll have to dig through old programmes, and then find a scanner if I come across something suitable. Oldelpaso (talk) 21:10, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
- Yeah, no-one said it'd be easy! I was up at Bramall Lane yesteday - there's a new Gio on the block, hardly the same calibre mind you! The flickr picture (in my opinion) is virtually worthless. Don't know how you'd get away with fair use unless it's a seminal moment in his career... any ideas? Stats-wise, no-one will complain if you add "n/a" where the a is available.... tough call when you have ex-Soviet professional careers to take into account. Not a chance! Anyway, great work (as always) so far.. The Rambling Man (talk) 21:00, 28 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 00:13, 28 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Wednesday 13 February 2008, 01:38 UTC)
[edit] San Diego Chargers seasons
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'm hopful I can get this to FL status.
Thanks,
Buc (talk) 18:10, 26 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)
- en-dash should be used for score separators.
- None of the lead is cited and at five paragraphs it's too long.
- Added some refs.
- Weird to have two columns with identical content, regardless of the fact they wikilink to different article themes.
- One is the NFL season the other is the teams season. Buc (talk) 17:50, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
- I'm aware of this Buc, that's why I said "they wikilink to different article themes..." - I'm saying it's odd. The Rambling Man (talk) 21:43, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
- One is the NFL season the other is the teams season. Buc (talk) 17:50, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
- Why is season column bold and team season not bold?
- NFL season is more notable.
- It's unclear to the reader why. The Rambling Man (talk) 21:43, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
- The titles at the top tell you which is which. Buc (talk) 19:23, 28 January 2008 (UTC)
- Featured lists need to be accessible to all, this is unclear, you have two identical columns which have identical contents besides where they wikilink to... The Rambling Man (talk) 19:32, 28 January 2008 (UTC)
- The titles at the top tell you which is which. Buc (talk) 19:23, 28 January 2008 (UTC)
- It's unclear to the reader why. The Rambling Man (talk) 21:43, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
- NFL season is more notable.
- Some post-season results have citations, some don't. Need to be consistent.
- See References at the bottem.
- "(1960–2008, includes only playoffs)" - 2008? where's that on the table?
- The 2007 season's playoffs took place in 2008.
- Then explain it in the article. The Rambling Man (talk) 21:43, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
- The 2007 season's playoffs took place in 2008.
- Check punctuation on all footnotes.
- Second EL was retrieved in the future.
- Huh? Buc (talk) 17:50, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
- He means the second reference says that it was retrieved in December of 2008 (it should be 2007).
Gonzo fan2007 talk ♦ contribs 20:30, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
- He means the second reference says that it was retrieved in December of 2008 (it should be 2007).
- Huh? Buc (talk) 17:50, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
The Rambling Man (talk) 18:47, 26 January 2008 (UTC)
Think that's everything adressed. Anything else? Buc (talk) 18:30, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 00:12, 28 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Wednesday 13 February 2008, 01:43 UTC)
[edit] List of York City F.C. statistics and records
I have worked on this article over the last few days to fit closely the model devloped by List of Ipswich Town F.C. statistics and records, which is on the verge of passing WP:FL. I'd like to see if that could reach this far, and how it could be done. Thanks, Mattythewhite (talk) 21:06, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
I am also interested in seeing if there will need to be a replacement to the "European stastics" section which is present in several lists, for the bigger clubs. York have of coure never qualified for Europe, so there's nothing to write there. Another competition could be included, perhaps? And would this hinder its chances at WP:FL? Thanks, Mattythewhite (talk) 15:50, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 01:44, 11 February 2008 (UTC)
Comments Obviously the general format works or the Ipswich list wouldn't have been featured and I wouldn't have copied it myself :-) The main thing is to include what's relevant to your club; stuff that'd be beneath the dignity of bigger clubs would be completely appropriate to smaller ones. Can't see any significant problems with your list, it's referenced, you've got a couple of images. Hope some of these comments help.
- Honours. You may want to include any promotions, highest finishing position, furthest reached in cups. Call the section Honours and achievements if you don't think such things are technically honours. And you don't need the Domestic subheading.
- Done I've been pondering as whether to add promotions to the list and actually get it populated a bit, but I shall now. Mattythewhite (talk) 13:23, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- Goalscorers. Maybe add what division the Most league goals were scored in.
- Done Divisions added. Mattythewhite (talk) 13:28, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- You've got the wrong reference against Rodney Rowe.
- Done Silly me. Corrected. Mattythewhite (talk) 13:28, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- The width of your Fee column in Transfer fees received is getting stretched by the £1,000,000. If you set the overall width of both tables to 75% rather than 70%, that would cure it without interfering with Mr Dunphy's picture, with the additional benefit of Sheffield Wednesday no longer wrapping. (using Firefox, 1024x768)
- Done Width adjusted. Mattythewhite (talk) 13:33, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- Seeing as the fees are written as whole £, I'd right-align them.
- Done Aligned to right. Mattythewhite (talk) 13:33, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- Matches#Firsts. Was First match a friendly or what? Add first Football League match, maybe first match at Bootham Crescent?
- Done I belive this match was in the Midland League, so I've adjusted it accordingly. I've also added the first matches at Fulfordgate and Bootham Crescent. Mattythewhite (talk) 14:16, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- Maybe put Mr Batters' book in a References section, before the Notes (or in a General subsection as per Ipswich), and then the notes can all just refer to Batters, page no. Looks a bit odd your note 6 mentioning Batters p334 before the full details for the book appear in note 8.
- Done Added a General references section, which included both books used. Mattythewhite (talk) 14:33, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- Note no 5, Football League play-offs would be a better wikilink.
- Done Changed link. Mattythewhite (talk) 14:36, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- There's probably enough notes to warrant two columns.
- Done Two columns added. Mattythewhite (talk) 14:33, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- Add an external link to YCFC website.
- Done Added. Mattythewhite (talk) 14:36, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
cheers, Struway2 (talk) 12:58, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)
- "where they currently play, as of the 2007–08 season." - tautological.
- Done Removed redundancy. Mattythewhite (talk) 14:15, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
- Clarify that they won the league - just add "winning" before "the Football League Fourth Division".
- Done Addded. Mattythewhite (talk) 14:15, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
- Make sure references are in numerical order (you have [17][1] in the transfer section.
- Done Numerically ordered refernces. I believe that was the only one that needed fixing. Mattythewhite (talk) 14:15, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
Otherwise it's pretty good - good format by the way ;-) ! The Rambling Man (talk) 13:39, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 15 February 2008, 17:46 UTC)
[edit] Roman Catholic Church
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because about three users have nominated this for a good article review in recent times. Yet it failed all three, it was suggested on the talk of that article that a peer review be set up as to identify the specific things which are needed to get this article up to top standard
Thanks. - Yorkshirian (talk) 04:07, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 03:38, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
- Hello there! I happened to stumble across this article through two pages: Requests for feedback and Peer review, so here's some advice. I am a Roman Catholic myself, and I know through experience that many aspects of the Church traditions have not been observed. For example, many people I know are reluctant to go to Mass every Sunday. In addition, not a lot of people are eager to join the priesthood. These are what I recommend for you: talk about the effect of the Church on the rest of society, how Catholics observe Church traditions, and how people of other faiths think about the Catholic religion. Bear in mind that these are only suggestions, you don't have to add these stuff to your article. In my opinion, the stuff I mentioned are, for the most part, debatable.--Dem393 (talk) 04:10, 22 January 2008 (UTC)
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- I appreciate your comments but I cant include them in this article without violating one of the FA criteria. What you are suggesting is not able to do without useing "weasel words" which I have been advised below to eliminate. The content has to be factually based, concise, giving the facts without personal elaboration and opinions using neutral point of view. I am not too sure if there is a factual count of how many Catholics go to Mass all over the world. There is a reference to a page called Criticism of the Catholic Church which is the proper way to address a subject that can take up a whole page. Thanks for your comments! NancyHeise (talk) 19:32, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
- Very attractive article and looks like it reads nicely. Fine work! Here are some suggestions:
- Papal Authority is described as a belief, if so, it can be moved to the next section. Anyway, it seems somewhat like an orphan. Otherwise, move to community? Likewise, why is Eucharist text not under Sacraments?
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- moved to Belief section under Church subsection NancyHeise (talk) 19:17, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
- How about brief lead paragraphs for the main sections, e.g. community and history, to either recap or signal for readers what they'll encounter there.
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- Done. NancyHeise (talk) 10:08, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
- Seems to rely heavy on the Catechism. Yes, I suppose that makes sense. But then maybe can simplify citations and number of footnotes?
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- I am not sure how to do this since the references point to different paragraph numbers in the Catechism and I don't know of a way of combining different paragraph references. I do know how to combine same ones and I have done that. If you have any pointers for me on this issue, I am listening. Thanks, NancyHeise (talk) 19:17, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
- idea: Section on "Moral theology"?
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- This is copied from the FA criteria and is listed as one of the comments to address in the semiautomatic peer review below: "It is of appropriate length, staying focused on the main topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style)." I don't think I can stray too much from the simple topic of what the Roman Catholic Church is without making the article too long to be an FA. Moral Theology can be its own Wikipedia page as well as many other Roman Catholic topics that are not covered here. What do you think about this, I would like to know your comments. NancyHeise (talk) 19:24, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
- I would think the Church's role as the magisterium is central. Shouldn't the authority section describe the hierarchal structure, the role(s) of articulating and enforcing doctrine, the relation of church to moral theologians and individual clergy, to laity, etc.? I'm not trying to give you a hard time, and I applaud you for trying to handle such a huge topic.
- This is copied from the FA criteria and is listed as one of the comments to address in the semiautomatic peer review below: "It is of appropriate length, staying focused on the main topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style)." I don't think I can stray too much from the simple topic of what the Roman Catholic Church is without making the article too long to be an FA. Moral Theology can be its own Wikipedia page as well as many other Roman Catholic topics that are not covered here. What do you think about this, I would like to know your comments. NancyHeise (talk) 19:24, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
- More importantly, there's no mention of recent controversies, so it doesn't seem to cover the breadth of the topic. Homosexuality? Role of women? Liberation theology? Likewise, there's little about internal dissent within the Church/community. Overall, I'm concerned that the article is not sufficiently disinterested/neutral in the topic matter, seems like it's trying to present an inordinately positive/sympathetic view of one of the most powerful institutions in the world. Hope these comments are useful and taken in good faith (so to speak). HG | Talk 15:32, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
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- I placed the issues of no women or homosexual priests under the section discussing priests. I just gave the facts, no discussion of controversy. I was considering a section on those types of issues under a section called controversial issues at the bottom. Some editors dont think Jesus founded the church so I was going to put their concerns in this section too. What do you think about that? NancyHeise (talk) 19:17, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
- You're very responsive. I'd advise against a separate controversies section. Much better to have issues integrated in the article. Just like you have Luther, if there are very significant criticisms of Jesus as founder, then I weave those into the appropriate historical section. I would think that the Church's ostracism of homosexuality would deserve mention in the modern narrative (unrelated to gay priests), but do you all have a way of gauging the notability of such issues? Thanks. HG | Talk 17:32, 1 February 2008 (UTC)
- I placed the issues of no women or homosexual priests under the section discussing priests. I just gave the facts, no discussion of controversy. I was considering a section on those types of issues under a section called controversial issues at the bottom. Some editors dont think Jesus founded the church so I was going to put their concerns in this section too. What do you think about that? NancyHeise (talk) 19:17, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
I have copied the script comments from comment number one on this page so I have it all on one page. Thanks.NancyHeise (talk) 19:01, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
Please do not copy the semi automated peer review here for space issues (see instructions above). I am copying it back, thanks Ruhrfisch ><>°° 20:18, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 15 February 2008, 22:10 UTC)
[edit] List of Liverpool F.C. statistics and records
This peer review discussion has been closed.
Following the last FLC, the list has unedergone some transformations, however I'm unsure whether some items should stay or be removed, mainly the squad numbers section, hopefully this can be resolved during this peer review. Cheers NapHit (talk) 16:23, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from Daemonic Kangaroo (talk · contribs)
- My initial comment is that the tables don't sort properly - when sorting the goals & appearances columns they sort by the first digit rather than the actual number e.g. when sorting the top scorers in descending order of total goals it starts with Toshack on 96 going down to Goddard on 79 and then Rush on 346. I think you need to copy the code from the tables in List of Liverpool F.C. players. Cheers. --Daemonic Kangaroo (talk) 22:23, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Autoreview
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[edit] Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)
- "club" or "Club" in lead.
- "...is the record goalscorer at the club..." - could be misconstrued that he's still "...at the club..." - perhaps, "...for the club..."?
- Don't like the subsections 1.1.1 and 1.2.1 because there is no 1.1.2 or 1.2.2 so what's the point?
- The Callaghan sentence in the Lead and Appearances section is almost identical and doesn't read too well.
- "Of the current squad..." - this makes the article inherently unstable as it will need to be updated with every appearance of the current record holder.
- You use ref [1] to explain all the claims in Appearances section but "He surpassed Ian Callaghan's old record of 89 on May 1, 2007, when Liverpool faced Chelsea in the semi-finals of the UEFA Champions League." isn't there. It may not be the only thing that needs different citation.
- Why doesn't Max Thompson have an article? If he's played for Liverpool and is a club record holder then he's definitely notable enough to have at least a stub.
- Same for Ted Doig.
- Rows 17 and 19 in appearance table go a bit awry when re-ordered in the league cup column. Also a problem for Elisha Scott for Europe and Ian Callaghan all the way across ... (btw I'm viewing in Safari under Mac OS 10.5.1). Hmm, I think this is because of the central justification. It goes weird when reordered.
More to come... The Rambling Man (talk) 18:19, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
- "..over Strømsgodset I.F. in 1974,.." in which competition?
- "...during 1894–95, ..." - I'd prefer "...during the 1894–95 season,..."
- "The least goals Liverpool ..." - I'd prefer "The fewest number of goals scored by Liverpool in a season..."
- "This also represents Liverpool's record FA Cup attendance" - merge the fact it was in the FA Cup with the previous sentence.
More to come... The Rambling Man (talk) 18:52, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
- Don't like the squad numbers at all really, bordering on trivia, not sure what it adds to the article especially when numbers are used by more than one player in a season and towards the end of the table where you have rows of only one or two players.
- Why top 14 transfers? The Rambling Man (talk) 19:06, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from Struway2 (talk · contribs)
Here we go then...
- I don't know if you copied the Villa lead, or you both copied from somewhere else, but it needs a bit of a seeing-to. Lose various from opening sentence. Link Liverpool F.C. first mention after the opening sentence.
- The club was founded in 1892 and have played ... since their formation. Not keen on mixing singular and plural in the same sentence, you could turn it round and say They have played at ... since their foundation in 1892.
- 2nd para. Needs a bit of a rewrite. In the first sentence they're one of the most successful clubs in England, by the third they're the most successful club. Also need an as of date.
- 3rd para. Not creation. Foundation or formation, or leave it out. If I were you I'd hide this paragraph, write down for yourself what the article contains, and then change it to what you've written.
- One thing that the 3rd para says, is that This article lists all of the major honours won by Liverpool since their creation. Except it doesn't, and it should.
- Where you've got one reference covering a whole paragraph or section, make sure you've checked that it does cover everything in that section.
- Appearances and goalscorers tables need tidying. Some entries have zero-spacers, some don't, or have extra spaces, and it makes the tables look messy.
- International. Change "whilst playing for Liverpool" to "while a Liverpool player", they don't mean the same thing. I'd wikilink World Cup the first time you mention it. And where you say "at the yyyy World Cup", having already mentioned World Cup earlier in the sentence, perhaps change it to pipe the yyyy FIFA World Cup link to "in yyyy", just reduces the repetition. What does "foreign" mean (non-English, non-UK...)?
- Club records paras. Where you've put "least", as in "the least wins in a season", etc, should be "fewest". I'd pipe Besiktas JK to just Besiktas. Also, a bit too much Liverpool – say "they" or "the club" occasionally.
- Transfer fees need referencing.
- Think you were right to drop the squad numbers section.
In general, I like the way you've used prose sections to lead in to the tables, makes it read a bit less like a page from the News of the World annual. And the changes you've made in response to other suggestions have made a definite improvement. The one thing that doesn't really work for me is having the Club records section as sort-of prose rather just a straightforward list. If it was prose, with odd bits of explanation or expansion on the bare facts, it'd probably work better, but as all you have is effectively a list with a few verbs inserted, it makes it quite difficult reading. Others might well think the opposite :-) Hope some of this helps, cheers, Struway2 (talk) 13:01, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 15 February 2008, 22:14 UTC)
[edit] Auckland Zoo
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…
I want to get it to GA or FA standard, any comments or edits would be appreciated.
Thanks,
ZoofanNZ (talk) 01:38, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
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[edit] Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)
Hello, I'll make a few comments which may help on the way to GA.
- "Auckland Zoo" or "Auckland Zoological Park"?
- Headings should be per WP:HEAD so "Early History" should be "Early history".
- Date ranges should be separated by en-dash (e.g. 1939–45 is preferred over 1939 - 1945).
- "The zoo..." is used a lot in the lead, mix it up a bit.
- Consider merging the final paragraph of the lead - it's a bit short on its own.
- "history of the Auckland Zoo begins " - not storytime, encyclopaedia time so use the past tense.
- Citations should be used in-line, if you're using a book then use {{Cite book}} and specify the page number(s) used for the claims in the article.
- "bleak and uninspiring " - is this your opinion (WP:OR) or a quotation (cite it)?
- I believe I'm right in saying you should use "1930s" not "1930's".
- Several short paragraphs in history sections could be better worked together.
- Quite a lot of "it was believed to...", "she was believed to..." - by whom? This is where citation is important.
- " (see Current Zoo). " - nasty, not required.
- Animals suddenly become capitalised in the 1960's onwards... why?
- "However a much spectacular short term exhibit was being investigated." don't understand this sentence.
- Recent History section is a lot of very short paragraphs. It needs work.
- 980m2 - sort this out.
- " $4.6 million" - NZ dollars?
- "Te Wao Nui " - why bulleted and bold? Then a dollar value with no symbol.
- Gallery is way over the top.
- Too many external links, they're not necessary. If they're used for citation then consider the {{Cite web}} template.
Hope these help. Feel free to get in touch with me. The Rambling Man (talk) 08:32, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 15 February 2008, 22:18 UTC)
[edit] List of Washington Redskins players
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to know what else I should do to it to make it a Featured List. Let me know what else I can do to make it the best it can be!
Thanks, Jwalte04 (talk) 22:57, 28 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)
An enormous list (143K?!)! I can't check each entry (I don't think I have that much time left....!) but I'll comment on style and all that...
The title is Washington Redskins, then in the opening sentence you have "Boston / Washington Redskins". Now this is obvious to the NFL-ites but I would stick with just Washington Redskins for the lead and then go on to explain about Boston Redskins and Boston Braves subsequently. To folks like me who are used to their local club being established and named the same for the past 120 years, the NFL franchise/relocation/renaming thing is odd!I wonder if playing "at least one match" means that this list is going to be virtually the same as me clicking on Category:Washington Redskins players? Maybe it needs slightly harder criteria (perhaps ten matches?) - it would reduce the size of the article to something manageable...- Done I decided to bump the match requirement from one to three. This is because during the 1987 NFL season (the year the Redskins won the Super Bowl XXII) there was an NFL players strike. During the strike, NFL teams hired replacement players to play in the three games that were scheduled during the strike. I think that these players still deserve to be on the list (though I may make them there own colored box so they will stand out). However all players that have only played less than three games have been taken off the list. If someone has a problem with this or thinks I should raise the match requirement even more let me know. Jwalte04 (talk) 22:04, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
Numbers in the lead less than ten should be in words.- Done
Move the citations in the lead per WP:CITE, namely [7] and [8].Season years need to be separated by en-dash not hyphens. So 1945–49, not 1945-49.- Done
Positions need explaining when abbreviated, so you need a key.Aim to keep the tables and columns the same width from letter to letter, looks neater and more professional.
Not done How would I go about doing that? Jwalte04 (talk) 21:37, 30 January 2008 (UTC)With some relatively simple table syntax. Once you've dealt with everything else, let me know and I'll help. Or, if you're keen, look at section of List of Ipswich Town F.C. statistics and records where I've forced column widths in separate tables to be the same. It looks a lot better. The Rambling Man (talk) 21:53, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
- Why do some players not have #?
- Not doneThose were all of the numbers I was able to find. Jwalte04 (talk) 21:36, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
- I think this needs explanation with a footnote or something similar. The Rambling Man (talk) 21:54, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
- If you reduced the number of players by introducing more stringent criteria for inclusion (see List of Ipswich Town F.C. players - an FL I wrote a while ago) then you could add additional statistics for the players such as total appearances and honours won?
That's all I have for now, good luck with progressing the list to FL! The Rambling Man (talk) 11:12, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Friday 15 February 2008, 22:19 UTC)
[edit] South Atlantic Medal
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I've recently expanded it.[1] WikiProject Orders, Decorations, and Medals suggests improving articles by submitting them for a peer review. Myself personally, I'd like to see if anyone can spot any faults with it and that users not familiar with the subject can understand it. Thanks, Ryan4314 (talk) 14:11, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)
Hi
A few manual of style issues, such as over capitalised headings, non-formatted citations (look at using the {{Cite web}} template, bullet point list the "See also" and "External links" section, numbers less than 10 should be spelt out (so you have "1 operational" should be "one operational", look at linking the dates correctly.- Image:South Atlantic Medal.jpg needs a fair use rationale for each article the image is used in.
Expand the lead - it needs to adequately summarise the whole article so you could briefly mention the criteria for the award, the number of recipients etc in the introduction.I would image the queen is capitalised to the Queen." the most famous recipient perhaps being Prince Andrew" - this is your point of view.
That's about it for now, the article could do with further expansion. All the best. The Rambling Man (talk) 10:16, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
- (yes, by all means strike them out when you're done... The Rambling Man (talk) 11:57, 30 January 2008 (UTC))
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(Peer review added on Friday 15 February 2008, 22:20 UTC)
[edit] Empire of Atlantium
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I think that it can achieve good, or even featured article status with some more improvement. I didn't want to nominate it yet for either status, I wanted to improve the chances of a promotion with this peer review. With a website complete with plenty of information and images; and with the Emperor being a Wikipedia editor (user:Gene Poole), I think this article could soon achieve either status.
WikiProject Micronations and its members would help with this (the Emperor is a member).
Thanks,
Onecanadasquarebishopsgate 16:47, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)
Well, complete novice at micronations so thought I'd have a read and make some independent comments (with FA ultimately in mind)...
- Move citations per WP:CITE (where possible immediately after punctuation, certainly no spaces before them).
- Done Onecanadasquarebishopsgate 16:38, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
- 10 m² , 61 m² - don't link these, it's not necessary, but do {{convert}} it for imperial units, probably square feet. And convert 0.76 km² as well (probably to acres). And "350 kilometres " ought to be 350 km and use the template to convert to miles.
- Done Onecanadasquarebishopsgate 16:38, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
- Take care when wikilinking individual years, this should only be done when it enhances the understanding of the article (so Cruickshanks year of birth is probably irrelevant since you've already said he was a teenager).
- Done Onecanadasquarebishopsgate 16:44, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
- Why is "prime minister" in quotations? The actual post held needs explanation.
- Done Onecanadasquarebishopsgate 16:44, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
- "Damian Scott (1986–1988), and Kevin Fanucchi (1988–1990) also served as "prime ministers", but by 1990, when the original group members had graduated from university and moved to different locations, the group ceased to be active." - don't like the wikilinked years in parentheses, remove the links, remove the parentheses, improve the prose by expanding the sentences incorporating a description of their role. Oh, and which university? Is that where they met? Expand this as well.
- I'll remove the links but why the brackets? Unless there is any large amount of information about each government then the brackets should stay. I'll see if I can find any other information. Onecanadasquarebishopsgate 16:46, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
- Move [7], [12] to the other side of the punctuation (as per WP:CITE and my comment above).
- Done Onecanadasquarebishopsgate 16:44, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
- Aurora section is very short and probably needs either expansion or merging with another section.
- Ref [10] is oddly positioned, next to Poland. Is this the only country cited or would the ref be better placed at the end of the list?
- Done Onecanadasquarebishopsgate 16:44, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
- Is the currency linked to anything e.g. $AUS?
- Done Onecanadasquarebishopsgate 19:44, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
- "Atlantium mints coins.[14]" - this isn't a sentence. In fact the sections on stamps, coins and notes could be expanded, more prose.
- Bibliography section is vast - are any of these tomes used to provide citations into the article? If so use {{Cite book}} to specify exactly what's used.
- Most are just links to news articles from Atlantium's website. Onecanadasquarebishopsgate 16:51, 1 February 2008 (UTC)
That's about all I have for now. I feel it's a way of FA for the time being, I'm afraid, but dealing with some of my comments should iron out some of the most obvious issues. The Rambling Man (talk) 09:26, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Friday 15 February 2008, 22:21 UTC)
[edit] Allegations of state terrorism committed by the United States
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because of on-going disputes that have hampered the page progressing into an interesting, (reasonably) non-partisan piece of work. Some editors appear to be driven by strong political views that hamper their ability to edit in a way that suits Wikipedia's guiding principles.
Currently I cannot believe it will ever achieve FA status - maybe not even GA status. It is already very long, yet there appears to be no drive or interest in reducing it either by cropping unnecessary text or moving information into articles on the subject in question. Indeed some users appear to want to add even more material.
What the article needs is a comprehensive report from a non-involved editor with no strong interest/position on the matters it addresses. The main questions would be what existing material is good and should be kept, what existing material is good and should be moved elsewhere (if so, what), and what existing material is bad and should be deleted/replaced. Furthermore what areas, if any, could be expanded on the page.
Essentially, explain where the page "is" now, where it needs to go and how it is going to get there.
Thanks, John Smith's (talk) 19:14, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
- What the article needs is a comprehensive report from a non-involved editor with no strong interest/position on the matters it addresses. I think most editors involved would be able to support this statement. However, there would likely be less concensus on the 'main questions' as John Smith has identified and phrased them.
- A number of editors have expressed willingness to look at a complete re-structuring of the article, and if such a move seemed likely to support continued improvement of the article, concensus could likely be developed on that issue.TheRedPenOfDoom (talk) 21:38, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
- What exactly is the harm in asking uninvolved editors to look at a complete restructure too? John Smith's (talk) 22:21, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
- I am not sure where you are coming from with your question. I was in fact offering up the possibility of a complete restructuring in addition to your options of what existing material is good and should be kept, what existing material is good and should be moved elsewhere (if so, what), and what existing material is bad and should be deleted/replaced. Furthermore what areas, if any, could be expanded on the page.TheRedPenOfDoom (talk) 01:13, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
- What exactly is the harm in asking uninvolved editors to look at a complete restructure too? John Smith's (talk) 22:21, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
- I can also agree that the article could benefit from "What the article needs is a comprehensive report from a non-involved editor with no strong interest/position on the matters it addresses." I disagree that it can never be "even a GA." A far as ascribing "a lack of drive or interest" on the part of established editors to reduce any currently unessential material I do not think John is in a position to say, because his experience with the page is very recent, and he has not yet evidenced any specific knowledge of the topic which is broad and complex. The article is a work in progress and there are always a number of issues to work on; I trust that peer reviewers will keep that in mind. I also hope that peer reviewers will be disposed to ask questions if they require more knowledge or clarification pertaining to the subject.BernardL (talk) 23:03, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
- Bernard, I can read the talk page - I have not seen many entries where people have said "wow, we need to cut this down, guys". You yourself have worked on yet another section to add to the article, which will make it even longer.
- Rather than take swipes at me by alleging this peer request is to get at one of your friends and saying that I don't know anything about the topic (which would be irrelevant anyway given even someone with no knowledge can see that a page over 100kb could be broken down), you could assume good faith and not try to belittle those outsiders that have a view. John Smith's (talk) 23:13, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
- I don't feel that Bernard has done anything of the sort, and I raised the same point about your personal attacks and assumptions of bad faith that you have made JohnSmiths. No one but yourself has raised the issue that the article is "too long." I suggest that given your history of conflict with me, to the point of getting a revert parole and going to arbcom--and the fact that part of that was your wikistalking--that you disenge from further conflict with me. Out of the 2,199,609 articles on WP, why did you choose the one that I primarily edit on, if not to further seek out conflict with me? Even if you are not, then that is clearly the appearance you create, and more reason reconsider your choices of articles to edit on (not that you have shown any previous interest or knowledge on this topic anyway). That being said, I welcome outside and non-involved editors input.Giovanni33 (talk) 01:09, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
- Personal attacks? I am the one who has been attacked and sniped at for making this peer review request. I think the treatment I have received at the hands of you and your buddy is a good reason why the article needs outside help because you are too suspicious and mean towards people who come along to express a view other than "keep up the good work". John Smith's (talk) 07:59, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
- I don't feel that Bernard has done anything of the sort, and I raised the same point about your personal attacks and assumptions of bad faith that you have made JohnSmiths. No one but yourself has raised the issue that the article is "too long." I suggest that given your history of conflict with me, to the point of getting a revert parole and going to arbcom--and the fact that part of that was your wikistalking--that you disenge from further conflict with me. Out of the 2,199,609 articles on WP, why did you choose the one that I primarily edit on, if not to further seek out conflict with me? Even if you are not, then that is clearly the appearance you create, and more reason reconsider your choices of articles to edit on (not that you have shown any previous interest or knowledge on this topic anyway). That being said, I welcome outside and non-involved editors input.Giovanni33 (talk) 01:09, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] I would like to point out...
That, in addition to believing it too long John Smith also feels that the page suffers from too great of a POV slant. Unfortunately, he has yet to make any specific suggestions or contributions besides asking that content be deleted. We have suggested that he begin a sandbox to show us the direction he envisions for the page, but as of yet we have seen no response.
Furthermore, i have a nice little script that strips citation, footnote, and reference formatting from articles. I ran it on the page content and discovered that, absent the massive footnoting and cited sources at the bottom of the page (and the accompanying formatting within the article), the page comes to only about ~64K (i actually measured 63K, but that was only a quick look).
64K is a common page length, and i must point out that this particular article suffers from a much higher level of challenge and scrutiny regarding its assertions. Consequently, the content length cannot be effectively estimated by merely glancing at the history or edit page and using the file length as a measure. This is apparently what John Smith has done, and i would suggest that if one truly wishes to reckon the content size then in articles such as this -- where there is, of necessity, just a huge, huge, huge number of footnotes, citations, and sourced referents -- that one must take into account these elements.
I would, therefore, suggest that for now the question of whether or not this page is too long is moot, and that this particular peer review request is nothing more than content dispute moved to this page. Since the editors of that page have yet to see any clear or focused suggestions or contributions made by John Smith, it is my opinion that this minor disagreement ,is more appropriate on the talk page.
Finally, i would like to observe that this particular objection seems as if it would be a relatively easy thing to abuse. Determinedly antagonistic editors would, without a doubt, attempt to fluff articles up with citations and sources (the work of which would fall to their opponents, thereby wasting their time) and then demand that content be trimmed upon its growth to some unspecified length. While that might seem an ineffective means of censoring content, it has been my experience that on wikipedia certain political issues are a magnet for all sorts of extremely determined extremists who seek to censor ideas not to their liking; when unable to utilize other means i have no doubt that such people would be willing to avail themselves of these methods, also. While it might not succeed in eliminating pre-existing content it would, nevertheless, be an extremely effective means of limiting further development of the article by enforcing an artificial cap on what may or may not be presented there. Stone put to sky (talk) 12:32, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
- I think it's rather improper to suggest a request for a peer review is a continuation of a content dispute. A peer review can be both positive and negative in its conclusions, so it is useless unless one honestly wants an independent outside view. As to length, I sometimes see three citations per point. That is not necessary, especially if some are propaganda mouthpieces like Granma.
- I honestly don't understand why certain editors feel this request is somehow "bad" for the page. Are editors so naive that they're going to be influenced by my brief observations and ignore what they see on the article? Clearly there are disputes, as you yourself have complained about the activities of other users. If the disputes have to be resolved via tough dispute resolution means you will need to be able to show it wasn't just your view against their's. A peer review is useful as it can both serve to act as a means of forming consensus and show that you are acting out of good faith.
- Again, the repeated objections/complaints about this peer review request are bizzare in the extreme. John Smith's (talk) 20:46, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
I did not say the request was "bad" for the page. I simply indicated that the points used to justify the request are spurious. That is a big distinction.
You are entitled to your opinions about the value of certain sources, but unless your opinion accords with established Wikipedia precedent then it really doesn't matter. Granma may seem merely a propaganda machine to you, but then many people around the world feel the same way about the U.S. State Department, the CIA, or even the New York Times and Washington Post. Fortunately, Wikipedia policy steers a more neutral path between those extremes.
Also, it seems odd for you to suggest that it is in Wikipedia's interest to eliminate the sourcing and citations for included material. Essentially, what you are suggesting is that the editors of this page willfully eliminate evidence demonstrating that the article is accurately sourced; clearly, that would open up the possibility for later editors to come along and delete the material because it is not properly sourced. That seems quite contrary to the fundamental principles upon which this project is based.Stone put to sky (talk) 07:54, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
- Sky, please do not misrepresent what I said. I did not suggest eliminate sourcing, I suggesting removing sources that repeat what others said. You do not need three sources for one point. I have worked on lots of articles where multiple sources have been skimmed down. From a style point I think more than two sources does not look pleasant. I also did not say "you must delete them" - I said that they were not necessary. There is a big difference. John Smith's (talk) 08:04, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
- Furthermore, I asked why a controversial source like Granma would be used when there are other more reliable sources too. And, yes, I would say that it it a POV source whereas the New York Times is not. Wikipedians are allowed to use their common-sense, and Cuba is a land without media freedom whereas the US has a very good amount of it. John Smith's (talk) 08:09, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Friday 15 February 2008, 22:22 UTC)
[edit] Foundation series
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review it is a former FA demoted because of lack of references. I want to solve this issue, but I would like to know weather there are any other issues (besides referencing) that could pose a problem. Thanks, Nergaal (talk) 09:17, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
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-
- Deciding on the proposed merger would definitely help. The article would definitely benefit from a bit more content regarding critical reaction to the series as a whole, probably particularly to the original Trilogy. It would probably help if there were a bit more content relating to the development of the series, even if only in an abbreviated form. Other than that, any additional relevant content from the sources, as they're found, is about all I can imagine it might need. John Carter (talk) 21:43, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
- The lead needs to be better developed per WP:LEAD. Majoreditor (talk) 18:13, 1 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 15 February 2008, 22:24 UTC)
[edit] List of people from Savannah, Georgia
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it was recently created from the Savannah, Georgia article. The goal is to improve it to Featured List status.
Thanks,
Absolon S. Kent (talk) 14:16, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
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- Try to remove some of the dead, unused whitespace between some of the tables. -- Done
- The 'incomplete list' template should appear at the very top, before the lead. It looks a bit awkward crammed in there between the lead & the TOC. -- Done
- The lead is too short. It doesn't really introduce the topic, or establish any standards of notability for inclusion in this list. You might want to expand the lead by tying some of the more notability people to the city better; talk about some of the most notable people, and how they contributed to the city's culture. -- Done
- Get rid of the 'Other notable Savannah people articles' template in the top right. You can put those three items in a short list under a 'see also' section at the end. -- Done
- Some of the descriptions in the notability column are very brief, and should be expanded. You don't want to make it too long, though, because readers can click on the link to read the full bio. But you want to say more about someone's notability than simple 'actor' or 'NFL player'. -- Done
Dr. Cash (talk) 16:35, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 15 February 2008, 22:25 UTC)
[edit] The Alien Costume
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I hope to get out of this review, ways to improve upon wording, phrasing and just and overall opinion on where this article is at the moment, and if some other stuff should added to it or removed from it.
Thanks,
Gman124 (talk) 16:48, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 22:00, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 15 February 2008, 22:26 UTC)
[edit] List of Birmingham City F.C. statistics and records
This peer review discussion has been closed.
As this seems to be the latest fashion in football lists, I've adopted the basic Aston Villa format as enhanced to FL standard at Ipswich Town. The objective is to get this one to featured list, so I'd be grateful for whatever improvements or corrections you can suggest to get it there. Many thanks for your time! cheers, Struway2 (talk) 10:49, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from Mattythewhite (talk · contribs)
Nothing to comment on really.
- Archie Styles needs an article.
- thanks for reminding me, I wrote it the other day and forgot to upload it... duh
- Maybe you could note how Birmingham qualified for the European comps each season, like in the Ipswich article?
- maybe I could... while BCFC were still in it, it was city-based and entry was still by invitation, and I believe we kept getting invited while we were successful and as soon as we weren't, the invitations stopped, certainly we got a bye through the first round in 1962 because of being runners-up the previous year... sources is another matter. I'll see what the book says. Thanks for mentioning it, because that definitely came up at the Ipswich FLC so probably would again. done
Probably more issues than what I spotted, but not far off an WP:FLC anyway. Mattythewhite (talk) 15:58, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)
Great stuff, few minor things..
- I was reminded that the article on silverware discusses FA or League Cup for English football, not the Ipswich Hospital Cup nor the Walsall Cup! I decided to change from silverware, it's a minor point though.
- not so. It says "In English football, silverware is used to describe one of the cup trophies (of which the main two are the FA Cup and the Football League Cup) or the championship trophies awarded for winning one of the leagues." The Walsall Cup and indeed the Ipswich Hospital Cup are two of the many, many bits of English football silverware of which the main two are the FA and League Cups.
- The ordering of honours surprises me, I would have had euro first, domestic cups second, league third, war league fourth but again it's subjective I suppose.
- As you say, subjective.
- I think there's a specific article for the Ireland national football team (pre-1953 or something close to that...)
- thanks, I always get that one wrong.
- "fee of £1 million or more" - I would have used a fee of at least £1m.
- so would I.
- "but VAT and the transfer levy raised the total payable to £1.18m" very interesting! Can you cite it?
- it's included in the book citation after the next sentence, but I've added an online one as well.
- I'm guessing you don't like centrally aligned columns, but I've got the notes columns centrally aligned. Your call.
- changed. I usually do have notes columns centred.
- Division wikilinking in the Club records section isn't consistent.
- I know. I was torn between linking them all thereby painting the whole section blue, not linking anything on the assumption there's plenty more links to all those things lying about if anybody wanted one, and compromised on linking first use in each small section, which is a mess and looks inconsistent even if it possibly isn't. Could try linking just the first use in the whole Club records section. What would you advise?
- Well I'd make a choice as to which level heading you'd consider a represent a new section and then wikilink only the first instance in that section. The only decision is the level you choose, and then the whole article will be consistent. The Rambling Man (talk) 14:49, 15 February 2008 (UTC) done
- I know. I was torn between linking them all thereby painting the whole section blue, not linking anything on the assumption there's plenty more links to all those things lying about if anybody wanted one, and compromised on linking first use in each small section, which is a mess and looks inconsistent even if it possibly isn't. Could try linking just the first use in the whole Club records section. What would you advise?
- In Match firsts, you link the league but not the FA Cup etc. Any reason?
- Might have been, can't remember. Linked cups now, though not First European match, because the only sensible thing to link it to would be UEFA#Competitions and UEFA are insistent these days that the ICFC is nothing to do with them :-)
- Is semifinal really one word? Perhaps..
- Yep.
- Ah, your Euro table has centrally aligned notes. Now then. Consistency throughout the article?
- The whole of that table's centrally aligned. If you want consistency, you'd do better asking if there's a reason for centralising the club names :-)
That's it for me, a really good list, it'll breeze FLC. The Rambling Man (talk) 13:09, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Saturday 16 February 2008, 11:27 UTC)
[edit] Dover Athletic F.C.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
Another stab at a FA on a non-league football club, pretty much following the pattern of other similar FAs such as Stocksbridge Park Steels. Let me know what you think, anyway..........
Thanks, ChrisTheDude (talk) 21:27, 9 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Saturday 16 February 2008, 21:44 UTC)
[edit] List of managers of the England national football team
This peer review discussion has been closed.
Well, I could barely believe that this article (or one like it) didn't already exist so I knocked this up. I'm hoping for it to make WP:FL in the future, based loosely on the List of Manchester City F.C. managers which placed as much importance on the history and prose as it did on the stark reality of the facts in the list. I'm sure, yet again, it's riddled with issues, two solid days of work on it means I'd like to float this out to the community for any comments or advice. As always, thanks in advance for your time. The Rambling Man (talk) 12:27, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from PeeJay
- I haven't got time at the moment to look into this in great detail, but I will say one thing: perhaps the title of the article should be changed to "List of England national football team managers". I will take a better look later, but this is the thing that stuck out for me straight away. – PeeJay 12:33, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
- Hi PeeJay, yeah, that had crossed my mind as well. Since List of England national football team managers doesn't exist yet it shouldn't be a problem to move it over. The Rambling Man (talk) 12:36, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
- Well, I've had another look, and I'm really struggling to find anything wrong with this list. I really like the amount of detail in the managerial history section. Some might say it's a bit too much, but I think it looks good. – PeeJay 11:15, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- Hey. Thanks for taking the time. I agree that some may find the history section a bit big - it's halfway house between article and list, but there you go! We'll see what happens when I take it FLC in the future! The Rambling Man (talk) 11:18, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from Struway2
- Very briefly, will review it properly later (my list of what to review properly later is getting out of hand). At first glance it's a terrific piece of work, though I definitely see it as an article with a very helpful summary table at the end rather than a list. MCFC managers had 2 pages history and just shy of 4 pages list, yours is pretty well the reverse. I like it, whatever it is! cheers, Struway2 (talk) 12:35, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for that. I guess if it's an article it'd need a bit of breaking up into sections? Dunno. But I'd appreciate your review when you can find the time!! The Rambling Man (talk) 12:40, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from Koncorde
- There's a couple of repeated bits of information (I think you mention the fact Winterbottom was the longest serving manager twice for instance within a relatively short space of time, as well as the Ramsey World Cup thing) and its current format is a little 'wordy' due to the use of the 'full name' of every event/club (such as "Uruguay national football team instead of Uruguay).
- Some bits of the prose is clunky, but that's just a feature of the fact it's trying to include a pocket bio in each.
- Breaking at each change in manager, and perhaps a summary at that point would be useful for navigation.
- Walters bio in this is actually more complete than the one in his main article, which really needs looking into (I'll see what I can do for him). Also Walters bio suggests he was a professional (if only for a short time) with Man Utd. I don't know who is right, but possibly a couple of fact checks need to be done on what's in the article.--Koncorde (talk) 15:10, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- Koncorde, thanks for taking the time to have a look at the article. I've addressed the "national football team" bit (I forgot to pipe a few as you spotted!) and will look at the repeated information. Interestingly I originally intended the article to be a list, not an article, but there turned out to be quite a bit to say about the managers so it now looks like I'll need to address this as a potential FAC. Thus I'll need some sections so hopefully that'll iron out the breaking/summary issue you've noted. As for improving the prose, that's something I'd like this peer review to help with. Finally, the Walters bio, I didn't even look at it funnily enough. But I will have a scrabble around to see what his prior experience was. I was going by a single secondary source for that bit of info so it could be that there's a mistake with it. Thanks for pointing it out. The Rambling Man (talk) 16:34, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- Sorry to butt in. If you break after every manager, that could in fact make it more of a list than an article, if you'd still prefer to go down that route. And the table could be just as much a helpful summary at the end of such a list as it would have been at the end of an article. Just a thought. cheers, Struway2 (talk) 17:24, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- Hmm. I like that. I wonder if that would be a half-decent precedent for this type of article? I'll have a play... The Rambling Man (talk) 17:35, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- See the History of West Ham United F.C. for what I did. With each individual section dedicated to a managers tenure, and links at the end of each tenure to relevant competitions within wikipedia, plus their own articles. I know you mean this to be a list - but for me there is a great article waiting to come out of this.--Koncorde (talk) 18:52, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- That's a fair article but I'm looking for an overview here really, rather than a history of England football. So something in the middle I guess. The Rambling Man (talk) 18:59, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- See the History of West Ham United F.C. for what I did. With each individual section dedicated to a managers tenure, and links at the end of each tenure to relevant competitions within wikipedia, plus their own articles. I know you mean this to be a list - but for me there is a great article waiting to come out of this.--Koncorde (talk) 18:52, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- Hmm. I like that. I wonder if that would be a half-decent precedent for this type of article? I'll have a play... The Rambling Man (talk) 17:35, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- Sorry to butt in. If you break after every manager, that could in fact make it more of a list than an article, if you'd still prefer to go down that route. And the table could be just as much a helpful summary at the end of such a list as it would have been at the end of an article. Just a thought. cheers, Struway2 (talk) 17:24, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- Having looked for the repeats, do you mean the stuff in the lead is repeated in the main body? I can't see any other repeats. If that's the case then there's no problem as the lead should provide a summary of the article which will inevitably result in some repeated information. If not, can you point me to exactly where there's an issue, cheers! The Rambling Man (talk) 16:39, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- It's the way in which it is said repeats itself. If you're going to say Winterbottom was the longest serving manager, then you need to find two ways of saying it so as to not end up saying "Winterbottom was the longest serving England manager" twice. Basically just repeated 'language' and sentence structure.--Koncorde (talk) 18:49, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- Well, in the lead I have "The first, Walter Winterbottom also held the position for the longest" and in the main section I have "He remains the longest serving manager of England." - they say the same thing in different ways. Sorry if I'm being obtuse, I'm not sure what you're getting at - repeated "language"? It's typical for the lead to summarise the article and potentially repeat detail. The Rambling Man (talk) 18:56, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- Both essentially say the same thing. There's "summarise" and then there's repeating. For instance the below would be the main text in the body:
- Well, in the lead I have "The first, Walter Winterbottom also held the position for the longest" and in the main section I have "He remains the longest serving manager of England." - they say the same thing in different ways. Sorry if I'm being obtuse, I'm not sure what you're getting at - repeated "language"? It's typical for the lead to summarise the article and potentially repeat detail. The Rambling Man (talk) 18:56, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- It's the way in which it is said repeats itself. If you're going to say Winterbottom was the longest serving manager, then you need to find two ways of saying it so as to not end up saying "Winterbottom was the longest serving England manager" twice. Basically just repeated 'language' and sentence structure.--Koncorde (talk) 18:49, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- Koncorde, thanks for taking the time to have a look at the article. I've addressed the "national football team" bit (I forgot to pipe a few as you spotted!) and will look at the repeated information. Interestingly I originally intended the article to be a list, not an article, but there turned out to be quite a bit to say about the managers so it now looks like I'll need to address this as a potential FAC. Thus I'll need some sections so hopefully that'll iron out the breaking/summary issue you've noted. As for improving the prose, that's something I'd like this peer review to help with. Finally, the Walters bio, I didn't even look at it funnily enough. But I will have a scrabble around to see what his prior experience was. I was going by a single secondary source for that bit of info so it could be that there's a mistake with it. Thanks for pointing it out. The Rambling Man (talk) 16:34, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
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- Walter Winterbottom was the first manager appointed, in /year/, and served for a total of /x/ years as manager. His /x/ years in charge remain the longest period for any England manager so far (with his successor, Ramsey, behind on /x/ years). During his tenure he successfully lead the team to their first 4 World Cup finals.
- And this would be a summary:
- Walter Winterbottom served as manager for longer than any other."
- Don't mean to nitpick language, but just making a point that parts need fleshing out or structured in such a way as to stay fresh.--Koncorde (talk) 19:27, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
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Cool, no worries, nitpicking is good... I'm still stuck in the midst of working out if I should reduce the flesh a bit to focus on a list or expand further to make an article. Or both. Or neither (and just stick to Ipswich articles!). I think there's loads of scope for similar national coach articles (at the very least Scotland would easily have enough for something similar) so I'd like to get this right. What's the way forward, article with summarising table for FAC or brief intro and expanded table for FLC? The Rambling Man (talk) 19:30, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- I'd say there's an equal call for both. Looking at a few of the managers bio's they rarely focus on the England career (even in the case of Winterbottom) so there is clearly scope here to not only improve their biographies, but to also create a full "International" collection of pen-bio's, history and events. I would say this article should focus on provided the data and pen-bio's, facts and other managerial information you wont find on History of the England national football team.
- Meanwhile a lot of the info, references and detail you have picked up on clearly should be incorporated into History of the England national football team which is pretty much empty of references in a rather atrocious way.--Koncorde (talk) 19:39, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- Okay, so focussing on this article, at least initially, would you suggest I concentrate on making this more article-ish? I get the overall feeling that it seems the best way forward (I didn't imagine how much information there was really, poor foresight) and I'm prepared to do more work to expand it. As for the existing England pages, I've not really looked into them much, I know the England national football team page stinks. That's one of the reason I decided to create a half-decent (in my opinion) fork for the managers. If someone wants to back-incorporate info here that's fine, I'm currently concentrating on this article! The Rambling Man (talk) 19:44, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- Actually I think you should concentrate this into more of a database to which the articles for the individual managers and National team etc would plug into. Perhaps condense down the history and get it watertight for each one (the Man Utd managers one is pretty tight on the history with little wasted repeating of information and limited links). The vast amount of info really should go into the England History and the Managers own bio's and it'd be good to get some of your links and cites referenced over in the other articles.
- I'm going to 'adopt' the England history article and start working it into something more suitable.--Koncorde (talk) 21:41, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- Okay, so focussing on this article, at least initially, would you suggest I concentrate on making this more article-ish? I get the overall feeling that it seems the best way forward (I didn't imagine how much information there was really, poor foresight) and I'm prepared to do more work to expand it. As for the existing England pages, I've not really looked into them much, I know the England national football team page stinks. That's one of the reason I decided to create a half-decent (in my opinion) fork for the managers. If someone wants to back-incorporate info here that's fine, I'm currently concentrating on this article! The Rambling Man (talk) 19:44, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from Oldelpaso
I think we're in article territory here rather than list - there's enough out there about "the Impossible Job" itself to merit it. To this end, I think the article would benefit from a section about the role itself as opposed to the incumbents and their actions. In particular, the intense media scrutiny associated with position is worth covering, and things like the reasons for the appointment of a full-time manager. It might be worth seeing if your local library has a copy of Niall Edworthy's The Second Most Important Job in the Country, which I hear is the best of the books about the England job. Actually, having just looked it up on a well known site named after a water feature I might buy that one myself, it'd be useful for when I finally get around to having a stab at getting Joe Mercer to FA, and second-hand copies are going for a penny. Oldelpaso (talk) 14:04, 17 February 2008 (UTC)
- Definitely the way my mind is heading with this. I think the role, its history and the guys involved are worthy of a summarising article, along the lines of England national football managers. I'll have a look for that book as well! I'd like to get this conceptually right as I think it could be expanded across to other national manager articles. Cheers! The Rambling Man (talk) 14:27, 17 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 02:49, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Sunday 17 February 2008, 17:29 UTC)
[edit] Triton (moon)
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it has just achieved GA and I was wondering what it would require to reach FA.
Thanks,
Serendipodous 11:11, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 16:11, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Review by RJH
Since the first photos came out, I'd always thought that was one weird-looking moon. Apart from needing a few minor edits and some polishing up of the text though, the article seems in pretty good shape. Here's a few comments:
- Some of the paragraphs are too brief. Could be expanded or merged?
- There's a slight ambiguity in the sentence, "The core makes up two-thirds of the total mass of Triton, which is the fourth largest of any planetary moon in the Solar System..." It should clarify that you mean the total mass rather than comparing the core's of the moons.
- The last paragraph of "Orbit and rotation" seems contradictory. First it states that the circular orbit is caused by tidal deceleration, then it say tides alone are not capable of such a feat. So is one of these in error, or should the first say "partially caused"? Also, shouldn't it mention what else could have caused the circularization? Or at least, "we don't know"?
- What's a hexagonal beta crystal? As in "hexagonal beta crystalline state". Hexagonal crystal system doesn't seem to cover it.
- There are a couple of citations that consist of a bare wikilink and some text. It would be good if they were formatted consistently.
Thanks.—RJH (talk) 16:10, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
- Paragraph lengths reworked. Hope that helped.
- The ambiguous sentence refers to the mass of the core; unfortunately, it is not clear whether the sentence refers to the absolute mass or to the ratio between the mass of the core and the mass of the moon, and since I can't check the source, I'll have to remove it.
- I've given my best shot at interpreting the source of the circular orbit claim, but it's a bit above my head.
- RE: alpha/beta, the source's abstract doesn't mention alpha or beta, just cubic and hexagonal, so I think alpha/beta can be removed.
(Peer review added on Sunday 17 February 2008, 17:50 UTC)
[edit] ANAK Society
This peer review discussion has been closed.
This article was recently promoted to GA status, an achievement I'm proud of considering it was previously a deleted AfD. I'm hoping to get it to FA status pending the results of this peer review. I'm especially looking for feedback regarding the references, which may need special attention because the article deals with a secret society. I'm also not sure about the image placement or the sequence of the different sections.
Note: I'm not affiliated with the ANAK Society in any way.
Thanks, MaxVeers (talk) 06:10, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
- I was actually thinking that it looked distinctly FA-quality. However, I'm sure somebody has some ideas for it before we throw it to the sharks. —Disavian (talk/contribs) 07:34, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 15:18, 5 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Tuesday 19 February 2008, 05:50 UTC)
[edit] James Milner
This peer review discussion has been closed.
Hoping to give this the final push to FA status. Has already failed once mainly due to the poor prose so that is the main thing I want to address in this PR. Buc (talk) 20:06, 20 January 2008 (UTC)
- Note: Because of its length, this peer review is not transcluded. It is still open and located at Wikipedia:Peer review/James Milner/archive4.
(Peer review added on Tuesday 19 February 2008, 20:05 UTC)
[edit] Annette Olson
This peer review discussion has been closed.
Please ensure this article complies with Wikipedia standards, meets overall quality, and give feedback on author's skill.
Thanks, Robert Fredrick (talk) 08:54, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
Comments from Kakofonous There are a few problems that I notice:
- Comments like "…often, the only female competing!" and "(Olson’s eyes are actually blue, not brown!)" are not very professional, and the article would read better if they were phrased in a more appropriate tone.
- The "Interesting Facts" section is not recommended by Wikipedia. (See Wikipedia:Trivia sections for more information.)
- I see that there are some references that appear to be duplicates. To make the reference appear as one entry with multiple links (a more easily readable method), within the first occurence of the
<ref>tag, type<ref name="[whatever you want to name the reference]">.....</ref>. In subsequent references, type<ref name="[whatever you want to name the reference]"/>and it will appear as one reference. - If they exist, consider looking for more references for the article.
If you have any questions, just ask them here or on my talk page. Kakofonous (talk) 16:29, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 15:22, 5 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Tuesday 19 February 2008, 20:08 UTC)
[edit] Rhabdomyolysis
This peer review discussion has been closed.
This condition, which occurs in crush syndrome but also in many other medical situations and as a side-effect to treatment, was recently listed at the medical collaboration of the week. Several high-quality sources were identified, and WhatamIdoing (talk · contribs) and myself have expanded and sourced most of the content; this includes the diagnosis, causes, mechanism and treatment of the condition as well as its relevance in disasters and its historical context. I think it is now fairly complete, but would prefer some people's views before I submit it for WP:GA. Thanks. JFW | T@lk 15:31, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
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Comments from WhatamIdoing JFW, you know I think you've done an amazing job with this article. The main sources are excellent, the information is appropriately detailed while sticking to Wikipedia's summary style, and nothing obvious is missing. It's clearly a Good Article in its present state. If you're aiming for FAC, then here are a couple of minor nits you can pick:
- The opening paragraph contains a sentence that features a string of four consecutive prepositional phrases.
- IMO, there are basically only two reasons to read this article: either you're a professional, or you have a loved one in the ICU with this. Professionals at or above the hospital nurse level are well served by this article. The use of the simplest possible language in the introduction might be less intimidating for average (or below-average) readers. For example, perhaps we could say that myoglobin is "harmful to the kidneys" instead of "injurious to the kidneys." Similarly, we could add a very simple summary sentence at the beginning of each subsection: e.g., "Rhabdo is caused by the destruction of muscles" or "The main goal of treatment is to preserve kidney function."
- Under Causes, perhaps the page would be prettier if the first few words in each bullet were italicized. The medications bullet isn't grammatically parallel; if you're determined to meet the Manual of Style preferences, then you might move meds to the bottom bullet and put the explanations into a paragraph immediately under it.
- The first paragraph of Pathophysiology may overlink. A professional isn't going to need a link to calcium, and a nonprofessional probably isn't going to click it. "Nephron," however, might benefit from a link.
- Can we say anything else about the prognosis? The length of typical hospital stays, for example?
Overall, I think it's in great shape, and you ought to submit it for a formal review already. WhatamIdoing (talk) 00:28, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Tuesday 19 February 2008, 20:15 UTC)
[edit] Virginia
This peer review discussion has been closed.
Virginia achieved Good Article status last year, but didn't receive a thorough line by line review. A first request for Peer Review also went without any human review. This article is quite close to FA, but where else does it need work? Where are more references needed? Which topic are too lengthy and which too short? How does it read? I think the article on a whole can be shortened, but which paragraphs can be broken off without damaging the readability? Even if someone could review a single section or subsection that would be an exemplar for the rest of the article. Thanks for your help, Patrick Ѻ 17:08, 2 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Tuesday 19 February 2008, 20:21 UTC)
[edit] List of municipalities in Sullivan County, Pennsylvania
This peer review discussion has been closed.
This is a complete list of all thirteen municipalities in Sullivan County, Pennsylvania. We (Dincher and Ruhrfisch) have worked on this list, following the model of the Featured List List of municipalities in Lycoming County, Pennsylvania, including the picture gallery and clickable map. Each county is different, so we would like another set of eyes (or two) to look this over and help us get it ready for WP:FLC, as well as help make it clearer. Thanks in advance for all input, Dincher (talk) and Ruhrfisch ><>°° 01:17, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 05:26, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- Could the clickable map be made smaller? It doesn't fit on the page on my browser. Epbr123 (talk) 16:11, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks - yes it can be made smaller (but it will take a little while as all the coordinates for the labels will then have to be adjusted too). Just as a note of explanation, the size follows the map in List of municipalities in Lycoming County, Pennsylvania, which followed the same size clickable map in the FL List of Kentucky counties. I will shrink this map to 800 pixels wide (now 922). Ruhrfisch ><>°° 17:51, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
The list looks good; mostly what I see are merger types of issues with Sullivan County, Pennsylvania. For example, the 'history' section should be in an article on the county, not in a listing of municipalities in said county (the article on the county could benefit by getting it's history section back, as it has started to look a little spotty),...
- Unfortunately the county article has no history section and this history is new material for this list. Since this list is about the land and the history of the municipalities and their properties (formation, size, population) we tried to focus just on that in the history section (this also gives some context for the list). There is a lot more history that could be mentioned in the actual county article - we will try to add some soon. Thanks, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 20:10, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- I added the first two paragraphs of the mentioned history to the Sullivan County article. They are generally about the county and do not mention the formation of the municipalities.Dincher (talk) 22:49, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
Try to avoid phrases like "as the crow flies" -- all that's required here is to illustrate the distance in miles and/or km between the county and Philly and Pittsburgh. There's no need to be excessively flowery here.
- "As the crow flies" has been removed. Because of the montainous terrain, it is impossible to drive a straight line between Sullivan County and either city, so this was an attempt to show it is the shortest direct distance (your mileage may vary ;-) ). Thanks, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 20:10, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
I'd recommend putting the map of the county's location in PA on top of the local map of sullivan county; and put them directly over the other, with no paragraph text allowed to flow between them; make sure they're the same width.
- Thanks, this is done. They were the same width (250 px) but I set them both at thumb size per the MOS. Ruhrfisch ><>°° 20:10, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
I'd move the collection of thumbnail images to immediately below the list table, not above it. It might help to put it into it's own section entitled 'gallery'?
- Thanks, for the suggestion, I will try the move just to see what it looks like. I do not think I will like it as that would put the gallery, then the panorama, then the clickable map all together. The current placement of the image gallery follows the model of the other county FL (and the FL List of Pennsylvania state parks). There is no room in the list itself for images (the list is 100% wide). The gallery was a way to put some images in the list and the other FLs have galleries between the lead paragraphs and first text section and the list itself. Ruhrfisch ><>°° 00:43, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
The clickable map image is a bit large; it could probably be reduced to 1/2 or 2/3 its present size. It might be better to put it before the list table as well.
- I will resize it in the 24 hours or less - the placement follows the two model Featured Lists (see above), so for now I think we would prefer to leave it where it is. Ruhrfisch ><>°° 20:10, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
The panoramic image isn't doing much for me where it is; it might be better to put it in the Sullivan County, Pennsylvania article instead.
Cheers! Dr. Cash (talk) 19:08, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- I favor keeping the panoramic picture because it shows what most of Sullivan County looks like. It is really pretty much a wilderness. This pic shows the rolling hills off into the distance pretty clearly. Dincher (talk) 22:35, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- It is in Loyalsock State Forest but not the county article. I like how it shows the dissected plateau - the heights of the "mountains" are all the same, as they are really the tops of a plain that has been eroded with such deep vallys as to look like mountains. Ruhrfisch ><>°° 12:25, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
General comment: I want to thank APR, Epbr123 and Dr. Cash for their helpful comments Ruhrfisch ><>°° 12:25, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Tuesday 19 February 2008, 20:22 UTC)
[edit] Francis Drake
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like comments on the citations and general writing of the article.
Thanks, Deflagro C/T 23:47, 1 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Tuesday 19 February 2008, 20:30 UTC)
[edit] Richard Mentor Johnson
This peer review discussion has been closed.
This article was recently promoted to GA, and the GA reviewer suggested a thorough copyedit before sending it to FAC. Since I am the primary author of the article, I probably am not the ideal person to perform that copyedit. I would appreciate and comments/edits that make the article more likely to pass an FA review. Acdixon (talk • contribs • count) 18:00, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Tuesday 19 February 2008, 20:32 UTC)
[edit] Solomon P. Sharp
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I have done a significant overhaul of this article, which was largely WP:COPYVIO and badly WP:POV. I believe it is well-sourced and well-written, but my instincts tell me it will not pass a GA review as it is now. I think I've been working on it too long to see its flaws. Please provide any feedback on issues you think would need to be addressed for the article to pass a GA review. I'd also like to solicit opinions on whether or not the article could ever be considered for FA. Is it too short? Are there too few reliable sources on the subject? Acdixon (talk • contribs • count) 01:21, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
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[edit] Review by Jayron32
Actually, I have little to add on this. The article seems quite appropriate in comprehensiveness and length. The references look great; there aren't likely to be copious sources on 19th century attornies general of U.S. states. I would look into going to the League of Copy Editors as a next step; copyediting is NOT my strength, but there are many people there who are very good at it. Well done on this one. It is clearly GA quality already, and looks quite close to FA quality as well. Good job and good luck, and I am sorry I can't add more since the article is so great as it is! --Jayron32.talk.contribs 18:15, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for your generous review! I wasn't aware of the "League of Copyeditors." Given some of the vague "this article needs a copyedit" feedback I'm prone to get at FAC this is definitely good info to have. Acdixon (talk • contribs • count) 20:05, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Tuesday 19 February 2008, 20:33 UTC)
[edit] Jena Six
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it is extremely important and recently went through a formatting sweep by yours truly. I wonder what serious issues can be identified in the article, if any, and if important content appears to be missing.
Thanks, Kakofonous (talk) 00:37, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Tuesday 19 February 2008, 20:39 UTC)
[edit] Millennium Challenge Account
This peer review discussion has been closed.
This article needs some structural help, as there are no articles that seem like this one. Also, what needs to be included, or removed? I am trying to get this to Good Article status, and then Featured, so any help will be awesome :) Judgesurreal777 (talk) 18:48, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Tuesday 19 February 2008, 20:57 UTC)
[edit] America's Next Top Model
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it meets with the FA criteria, and has good references.
Thanks, Glitter1959 (talk) 01:23, 1 February 2008 (UTC)Glitter1959
- Not ready Sorry Glitter this article is not ready for FA (or even GA). At a minimum for FA it requires a much more professional tone of writing, and images before it can even be considered. Also in my opinion the article needs to become more stable which it is not currently. If you go to this page you will see the difference between FA and GA which might give you some further ideas. Best wishes.--VS talk 22:13, 1 February 2008 (UTC)
All of the references in the article need to be formatted properly, WP:CITE should give you some advice on how to do that. -Malkinann (talk) 01:37, 2 February 2008 (UTC)
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[edit] Thouhgts by user:Chrisisinchrist
Overall, I think this is an OK artile, but it still needs lots of work to become a good article and featured article. I will point out a few things:
- References: A lot of unverified information. The tone of this article is a little premature. Much of the information on this page may be true, however, in the context that it is presented, it looks like original research, especially in the Show format section. This article lacks sufficient references for the amount of information it has. Information should be verified by a source.
- Missing sections: I know this is a reality competition series, but someone new to the show might not get a full scope of the series from the article. You need to add a section on the shows conception, its critical acclaim and awards, reception, ratings...more iformation on its transition from UPN to the CW. This article doesnt present a full scope of the series from the perspective of someone who may have never watched a single episode.
- Expand on covergirls connection to show, the judges and why janice dickinson, kimora lee simmons and twiggy are no longer apart of the series, tyra banks response to the writers labor dispute, tyra's connection to the international versions of the show, etc.
- Some of the information in the show format section would be better if removed and placed in the individual article pages. The show format section needs to be presented in a more professional writting style.--Chrisisinchrist (talk) 20:27, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Tuesday 19 February 2008, 20:59 UTC)
[edit] Geocaching
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I think this article is great and wondered if anyone agrees with me. It gives all the relevant facts, and anybody who is not familiar with the subject can get all the information they need from the article. I think it could also be considered for FA.
Thanks,
Spiby (talk) 18:38, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
- Comments from User:GeeJo
- The lead could do with an expansion. It should discuss in brief the major points from each of the article's sections. See WP:LEAD for more advice on this.
- Paperless Geocaching has no references at all, and many of the other sections could do with having their points backed up by citations.
- Try to see about getting rid of the {{Globalize}} tag on the Websites section
- The Variations section needs references to back up the notability of each of the mentioned versions. I can't tell at a glance which are widely used and which have just been made up one day.
- Image captions could be more informative. Links are well and good, but you could do with one or two words describing what a travel bug is (And I'd think about making that particular link a redirect :) ).
- The article has quite an extensive See Also section, with some rather dubious inclusions. Try to work more of them into the prose of the article and get rid of the ones that aren't really necessary.
- You could do with bringing up a few mentions of the activity by mainstream media (if there've been any), as it currently reads as if no-one but those taking part has heard of the activity.
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 00:44, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
Comments from WhatamIdoing: As a person who's never been involved in geocaching, my overall impression is that this article has a friendly, accessible feel with enough information about the subject to make me feel like I understand it. The first part of the article is great; the later parts occasionally seem to deteriorate into a list of fairly trivial decisions by individual organizations.
- The long list of variations might be slightly easier to read if the names of the "games" were italicized.
- I am not convinced that the "Websites for geocaching" section is necessary or even appropriate. The current policies at various websites seems more like advertising for potential participants than like an encyclopedia article. I would delete this section, or shorten it dramatically. Wikipedia is not an advertising opportunity for clubs and websites.
- The 'See also' section shouldn't include anything that's already linked in the main article. The only purpose of a 'See also' section is to have a place to list stuff which might be relevant, but you haven't yet figured out how to include directly in the article.
- This article includes too many external links. Many sites are linked twice: once in the article and again in the external links section. Linking to many websites in the text of an article is undesirable. Please review the links according to the official external links policy. You may want to create a dmoz/open directory page and link to that under the external links section. (The links in the text should probably be either turned into references where appropriate, or just deleted.)
Hope this helps, WhatamIdoing (talk) 02:44, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Tuesday 19 February 2008, 21:01 UTC)
[edit] Sheffield Rules
This peer review discussion has been closed.
Nominating to get an idea of how far the article is from FA. Thanks, josh (talk) 21:58, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)
Hello josh, here are my comments on a good and interesting" article.
- Fair use rationale for Image:Sheffield FC badge.png says it's less than 300px wide. It isn't, it's 321px wide.
- "...Nathaniel Creswick and William Prest, for use..." no need for the comma.
- "football" in the first sentence should be qualified by association.
- "free kicks, corners and overhead throw-ins" and "heading" in the lead perhaps need wikilinking, particularly those with alternative meanings (such as corners).
- The public school wikilink isn't ideal as it leads to a page which says "public school has two distinct meanings" so it's not as useful as it could be.
- "The most famous versions of the game being the Eton wall game and Royal Shrovetide Football." - this isn't really grammatically correct and "most famous" will need a citation.
- Background first two paragraphs seem to be chronologically out of order.
- "...that lasted several days ..." - this needs expanding! Presumably they stopped at night?!
- Year ranges need to use en-dash, not hyphen.
- I'd like an introductory sentence for the rules section, it's a bit bland as it stands. Also, it needs a citation.
- Presumably the incorrect capitalisation in that section is not your doing.
- Overview subsections have a number of short paragraphs, I'd aim to merge them and improve the flow.
- "favoured the kicking style of the game" - as opposed to..?
- "The kicking game was also prevalent in the local villages of Penistone and Thurlstone." - probably should be cited.
- "(the first reference to a position now occupied by the referee)." no need for the parentheses.
- "vs." - use the full word or against.
- " 58th army regiment" - should be an article for this? And it's probably Army Regiment.
- "on Boxing Day (December 26) of that year." - I would axe Boxing Day and go for the full date (since it's such a significant milestone) and wikilink it.
- "In 1861 Rouges were introduced..." - explain this. Even I (with my mammoth and eclectic football knowledge!) don't understand this.
- "known as the Battle of Bramall Lane An incident " - full stop missing.
- "one of the players (Waterfall)" - it's not 100% clear that Waterfall was the name of this miscreant.
- " one man offside " - bit jargony, explain for the non-football experts.
- "No Names, Barnes and Crystal Palace" - link these? And explain "No Names"?!
- " 3 rule changes " = three rule changes.
- Few more citations are needed throughout these sections, e.g. "This time it was only open to teams under two years old. Out of the four teams that competed The Wednesday emerged victorious. The final was a goalless draw after 90 minutes so the teams played on until a goal was scored. This was the first instance where a match involved extra time. This would be the last tournament to be played in Sheffield for 9 years until the formation of the Sheffield Football Association Challenge Cup in 1876." contains several unverifiable claims.
- "within 3 yards " = three yards.
- " 8 foot crossbar " = eight. And convert it to metric for our modern readers! Use the {{convert}} template.
- "1873/74" - "1873–74" use the en-dash to separate seasons.
- "8000" - "8,000" comma separate the thousands.
- Expand FIFA on its first use.
- "They also created " don't start a new section like this. You need to re-assert the context.
- Citations in Innovations & Influence section should be placed immediately after punctuation per WP:CITE.
- "2 goals to 0" either 2–0 or "two goals to nil."
- "2 yards " = two yards.
- " 80s." - "1880s".
- "A technique now common in the game." - isn't actually a sentence.
- "8 were " = eight were.
- " 57/58 " - 1857–58.
- "alongside 3 of the " three.
- "earned the nickname 'The Napolean of Football'." citation required.
- "62-63 " - 1862–63.
- "(a tactic today called goal hanging) " - I know it is but non-experts don't - citation. And ditch the parentheses.
- "2-2-5-1 formation" - this needs explanation to the non-expert it sounds more like a train wheel configuration.
- "president from 1869-85. " from 1869 to 1885.
- Ensure page ranges in your references are delimited with the en-dash, not a hyphen.
Hope this has been of use! The Rambling Man (talk) 09:37, 1 February 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for the comments. I've fixed most of the problems you've identified with the following exceptions -
- "football" in the first sentence should be qualified by association. - Although their histories intertwine the Sheffield code always remained distinct from the association rules.
- "...that lasted several days ..." - this needs expanding! Presumably they stopped at night?! - The account doesn't give much detail including what happened at night.
- "In 1861 Rouges were introduced..." - explain this. - Its explained in that paragraph. Does it need to be clearer?
- The convert template uses numerals so I can't used worded numbers with it.
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 04:36, 2 February 2008 (UTC)
- Under the Early years section about the first interclub match it states "Despite their inferior numbers Sheffield F.C. beat Hallam 2–0", but there is no mention of inferior numbers prior to this in the article.
- Under the Sheffield and London section, one sentence states "In 1865 by a letter sent to Nottingham F.C. (now called Notts County) stating that Sheffield would adopt the offside rule if they would abandon their use of the mark that allowed a player to catch a ball." I'm not sure exactly what you're trying to say here, but it needs to be cleaned up. Dan1980 (talk | stalk) 13:43, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Tuesday 19 February 2008, 21:03 UTC)
[edit] Lillian Board
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I've done a lot of work on it and would like it to get a higher rating.
Thanks, MG291 (talk) 18:26, 1 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Tuesday 19 February 2008, 21:05 UTC)
[edit] Dirk Nowitzki
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to boost this article to hopes of GA.
Thanks,
Basketball110 04:44, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
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-
- Yeah, forget the GA. Basketballone10 01:43, 5 February 2008 (UTC)
- Yeah, forget the GA. Basketballone10 01:43, 5 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Tuesday 19 February 2008, 21:06 UTC)
[edit] Jane Zhang
This peer review discussion has been closed.
This article failed the featured article criteria due to the under-constructed prose. However, I have requested copyediting to fix this problem and I was wondering if there is anything that needs to be addressed before I re-nominate this article.
Thanks, σмgнgσмg 12:51, 2 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Tuesday 19 February 2008, 21:09 UTC)
[edit] Déjà Vu (Beyoncé song)
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I am gearing this up for FA. A whole and thorough review would be helpful.
Truly, --BritandBeyonce (talk) 08:12, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Tuesday 19 February 2008, 21:11 UTC)
[edit] Scarred for Life
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I request information on how I can expand this article. I have submitted article for a peer review previously, however I believe it was not enough. Thanks --Hpfan9374 (talk) 08:32, 6 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Thursday 21 February 2008, 01:31 UTC)
[edit] Power of Love (Harry and the Potters album)
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I request information on how I can expand this article. I have submitted article for a peer review previously, however I believe it was not enough. Thanks --Hpfan9374 (talk) 08:32, 6 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Thursday 21 February 2008, 01:32 UTC)
[edit] The Enchanted Ceiling
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I request information on how I can expand this article. I have submitted article for a peer review previously, however I believe it was not enough. Thanks --Hpfan9374 (talk) 08:32, 6 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 02:25, 9 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Thursday 21 February 2008, 01:33 UTC)
[edit] Seton Hall University
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because wikiproject Seton Hall University needs copyediting and other help in order to make Seton Hall University a Featured article
Thanks, Rankun (talk) 18:31, 6 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Thursday 21 February 2008, 01:35 UTC)
[edit] Presbyterian Ladies' College, Sydney
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… it was promoted to GA in November and I think it could potentially be an FA, however I am not really sure what else needs to be done to improve it. Would appreciate any suggestions/criticisms.
Thanks, Loopla (talk) 06:47, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Twenty Years Review
- In the lead, it has a reference for the sentence; The Presbyterian Ladies' College, Sydney (P.L.C. Sydney), is an independent, Presbyterian, day and boarding school for girls, located in Croydon, an inner-western suburb of Sydney, New South Wales, Australia.[9], the reference for that is not needed, its not controversial.
- In the fees section it states; P.L.C Sydney offers scholarships and bursaries that provide all or part remission of tuition fees to students who are Australian citizens. I think it would sound better with all replaced by full, so it reads; P.L.C Sydney offers scholarships and bursaries that provide full or part remission of tuition fees to students who are Australian citizens.
- In the fees section, it states: As with all Australian independent schools, P.L.C is not a full fee paying institution, due to it receiving limited government funding, i think the statement is false, there are schools in Australia that receive no govt funding. Also i dislike the use of the word limited in that sentence, is there a reference for it?
- I dislike the quote in the Foundation section of History by the NSW Governor. I think it is too long, and might be better placed elsewhere in the article.
- Dislike the list of buildings in the Campus section. Some of them are clearly notable for being heritage listed, but most are clearly non-notable and dont need to be in the article.
- Other than that, i think the article is v/good. Probably ready for FAC. Twenty Years 07:37, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Thursday 21 February 2008, 01:46 UTC)
[edit] Nadine Gordimer
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it's a "B" on the quality assessment scale, and I'd like to get detailed feedback to help bring it up the ladder, eventually to an "FA".
Thanks, Lquilter (talk) 19:17, 6 February 2008 (UTC)
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- Wow, I've never before considered an automated script my peer. How nice that they've advanced so far. Time to go work with the peer review process, it seems, if automated scripts are the sole "peer review". --Lquilter (talk) 15:02, 25 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Thursday 21 February 2008, 01:55 UTC)
[edit] Harry and the Potters (album)
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I request information on how I can expand this article. I have submitted article for a peer review previously, however I believe it was not enough. Thanks --Hpfan9374 (talk) 08:32, 6 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Thursday 21 February 2008, 01:59 UTC)
[edit] Voldemort Can't Stop the Rock!
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I request information on how I can expand this article. I have submitted article for a peer review previously, however I believe it was not enough. Thanks --Hpfan9374 (talk) 08:32, 6 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Thursday 21 February 2008, 02:03 UTC)
[edit] List of 30 Rock awards and nominations
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I have been working on this article for the past few days and I would like to see if there is any further improvements I could make.
I have tried to style the article similarly to the featured list, List of awards won by The Simpsons.
I would appreciate feedback on the opening paragraph and what could be added to it to improve it.
Thanks, Jamie jca (talk) 00:08, 19 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Masem
- I would see if you can do something like the Simpsons one where each major award category has a block of text prior to it to explain the show's history (eg summarize the table below for key points).
- Note that "Emmy" should be capitalized.
- I would try to play with HTML br tags and {{nowrap}} as to make sure that the full award name in the tables doesn't split across lines, while allowing for the recipients to wrap.
Otherwise looks like a good reasonable approach set by the other article. --MASEM 14:40, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Thursday 21 February 2008, 03:35 UTC)
[edit] Virtua Fighter (anime)
I've listed this article for peer review. Needs an assessment since it was recently created.
Thanks, Ominae (talk) 01:14, 23 February 2008 (UTC)
- I mainly checked the first half of the article. Grammar is a pet peeve of mine, and something I am often bad at myself, so I looked at that.
- I made some edits to Characters; see if they still agree with the general ideas. I might've missed other problems there.
- I also wonder if there's a different way to say "[un]like his[or her] video game counterpart" in that section. I tried removing "video" in second and later occurences so that it would look a bit less repetitive, but I doubt that's the best solution.
- I de-capitalized words like "Flying squirrel" and "Racing queen". If they are proper nouns or something, they are easily changed back.
- I italicized some titles.
- I wonder if Plot can be expanded a bit.
- Peer review is not something I do often (my first, actually), so I hope my changes help you.
- —an odd name 03:13, 23 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Saturday 23 February 2008, 01:18 UTC)
[edit] Bernard Fanning
This peer review discussion has been closed.
It's been a GA for a while, and I'd like to go for FA. All comments welcome, especially those relating to content needed. Thanks, dihydrogen monoxide (H20) 09:49, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- I'd love to see this as a featured article, but I don't think it's anywhere near where it needs to be. It's really deficient in the quantity of content. I'm certain there are many cavities of information able to be sourced which are not. I'd love to guide and help participate more, but don't have the time atm, but the whole article needs to practically double in length, and for this to happen, I believe basically every section needs around twice as much information as they presently have. There should be a little bit more information about Ned Kelly, too, and maybe info in the discography section about Fanning's extracurricular contributions (which I'm sure there're more that are left unmentioned here). Good luck, though. --rm 'w avu 14:17, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- See, that's the thing; I really don't know what can/should be added in terms of content. I mean, we could talk more about his solo work, but it wouldn't really be biographical, and would belong in the album article. Meanwhile, Powderfinger mostly do things as a group, not attributing stuff to any one person.
- Do you know of any extracurricular stuff that can be added? I expect you have more idea than I do :) dihydrogen monoxide (H20) 07:57, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
- Review by Peripitus
Great to see the WP:FINGER obsessives still driving on ! The article is ok but mostly is lacking comprehensiveness.
- There is very little on his first 20 years. Just a short bit on his piano as a child - a bit on education then ... he can sing and joins the band. Did he finish the Journalism course ?
- The lead is short, even for the article as it stands, and summarizes little of the article.
- Apart from a bit at the start there is little about Bernard himself. Lots about his music, his band's music and thoughts on his voice, but the man is absent. He's married, has performed with his wife, does yoga, speaks limited Spanish, has released a single in support of the charity "Youngcare" , is noted to wear a beard well and may juggle hampsters ... but only the married bit is mentioned. I'm sure there is more to him than his musical output to be written about.
- Duplicated reference - ref#18 is used 3 times in sucession in paragraph # 1 of "Style, technique, and influences". Missing reference for his "ENTER score of 88.5"
- Ref done, unsourced removed (I found nothing). dihydrogen monoxide (H20) 06:27, 17 February 2008 (UTC)
- Peripitus (Talk) 13:00, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for this; I'll try and find more content in the near future. dihydrogen monoxide (H20) 06:27, 17 February 2008 (UTC)
- Well, it seems I have a bit of time. I'm working on fattening up the article with more info. Do you happen to know any refs to that stuff you mentioned about spanish and whatever? ta. --rm 'w avu 08:51, 17 February 2008 (UTC)
Mostly just found in websearching. The Youncare charity bit comes from numerous sources - latest is "The Sunday Mail - News Limited Australia - May 14, 2006", Yoga from The Age with a note from the same source that Mrs Prince Frederik of Denmark is a fan, Spanish from News Limited, perfoming with his wife from The Courier Mail, an expansion on his uni course and how he met Ian in The Age. I think I made the hampster bit up - Peripitus (Talk) 23:35, 17 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 02:44, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks APR/AZPR. I've taken the liberty of copying your peer review:
The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.
- Please expand the lead to conform with guidelines at Wikipedia:Lead. The article should have an appropriate number of paragraphs as is shown on WP:LEAD, and should adequately summarize the article.[?]
- Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Build the web, years with full dates should be linked; for example, if January 15, 2006 appeared in the article, link it as January 15, 2006.[?]
- Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (headings), avoid using special characters (ex: &+{}[]) in headings.
- The script has spotted the following contractions: isn't, hasn't, if these are outside of quotations, they should be expanded.
- Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.[?]
You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, APR t 02:41, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Copyediting
I've just done a bit of copyediting mostly for clarity (things like redundancies, misplacement of commas and other punctuations and disambiguation/re-ambiguation. The article looks good as it sits as far as grammar, but it should be combed again by someone else not connected to the subject matter. All said, I believe I made about 7 contribs in the edit history (I broke it out by section so that it would be easier to see the changes). If any of the changes are contentious, let me know on my talkpage so I can sort out my reasoning! Cheers, Keeper | 76 | Disclaimer 22:05, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Furthermore
- For the caption, is "at the" same with "during the"?
- Why is there a period? The caption, I think, is not a complete sentence.
- His birthname, no middle name or initial?
- Not that I know of. dihydrogen monoxide (H20) 08:33, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- For you Australian folks, you prefer date-month-year format. Why is the "born" entry using month-date-year style?
- Because of Template:Birth date and age. dihydrogen monoxide (H20) 08:33, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- Oooooh, a coding challenge for me. I'll see if I can create a variable for the template that would be seq=dmy; mdy, ymd, iso or something like that, so we can accommodate the range of different styles often used. Then I'll need someone *cough spebi* to update it on the template. Give me a few days, but for the moment, it's a technical impasse until I can figure out how to code our way out of the paper bag you've pointed out. --rm 'w avu 09:34, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- Bugger, turns out that variable is already there. Just so you know, depending upon your formatting settings, it may show up US style, but if you don't force it to parse the date, you should now see it in the correct format. --rm 'w avu 09:36, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- Yah i see it. By the way, why is 15 changed to word? --Efe (talk) 09:51, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- Duo-syllabic numerals should be in words, and some trio-syllabic numerals also. See WP:MOSNUM#Numbers. That info more refers to numeral division, but I read the guide as meaning how one would read something aloud. --rm 'w avu 10:02, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- Yah i see it. By the way, why is 15 changed to word? --Efe (talk) 09:51, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- Bugger, turns out that variable is already there. Just so you know, depending upon your formatting settings, it may show up US style, but if you don't force it to parse the date, you should now see it in the correct format. --rm 'w avu 09:36, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- Oooooh, a coding challenge for me. I'll see if I can create a variable for the template that would be seq=dmy; mdy, ymd, iso or something like that, so we can accommodate the range of different styles often used. Then I'll need someone *cough spebi* to update it on the template. Give me a few days, but for the moment, it's a technical impasse until I can figure out how to code our way out of the paper bag you've pointed out. --rm 'w avu 09:34, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- Because of Template:Birth date and age. dihydrogen monoxide (H20) 08:33, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- I think it would be better to just delimit all entries in the infobox with a comma. Formatting them that way makes the box a bit long.
- Is "vocals" an instrument?
- Award winning needs hyphen.
- While the band was on hiatus.
- Do you have to mention that his siblings do not like music?
- Don't *have* to, but I think it provides a nice touch of realism :) dihydrogen monoxide (H20) 08:33, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- You do not mention when Fanning was born in the "Early life" section.
- When? Why wuld we say when he was born? It's already in the lead and in the infobox. Or do you mean where? If that's what you means, then DHMO seems to have addressed that, but I don't know about the when. Maybe 3:27pm? --rm 'w avu 09:34, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- I mean the date. though it is already mentioned in the lead and infobox, it should be mentioned in the "main" text. --Efe (talk) 09:43, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- I'm happy to add it. It's not tough, but I don't think I've seen another BIO article that does that, and I mostly look at the FAs to get insight into what should be added here. --rm 'w avu 10:02, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- Well, its up for DM. For me, I always think there is no infobox and lead so I really have to restate what is in the lead. Lead is just a lead and the main "text" should be as complete as it is.
- I think I mentioned this when I went through this PR...oh well, it seems OK now. dihydrogen monoxide (H20) 09:09, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
- Well, its up for DM. For me, I always think there is no infobox and lead so I really have to restate what is in the lead. Lead is just a lead and the main "text" should be as complete as it is.
- I'm happy to add it. It's not tough, but I don't think I've seen another BIO article that does that, and I mostly look at the FAs to get insight into what should be added here. --rm 'w avu 10:02, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- I mean the date. though it is already mentioned in the lead and infobox, it should be mentioned in the "main" text. --Efe (talk) 09:43, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- When? Why wuld we say when he was born? It's already in the lead and in the infobox. Or do you mean where? If that's what you means, then DHMO seems to have addressed that, but I don't know about the when. Maybe 3:27pm? --rm 'w avu 09:34, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- Who described his songs as "terrible"?
- Ref at the end of that sentence. dihydrogen monoxide (H20) 08:33, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- However, he was equally interested…
- Is capitalizing U in University proper?
- Yep, as far as I know. Definitely University of Queensland is a proper noun. dihydrogen monoxide (H20) 08:33, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- Submissions of what?
- Move the comma after stating.
- The transition from the second to third section is broken; from 1992 to 2005. What happened to him in those inclusive years?
- See Powderfinger#History. The band rarely make mention to who did what, so it's basically all a group effort, and Fanning didn't do much independently while working with the band. dihydrogen monoxide (H20) 08:33, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- I've just added some generalities of the period, though mentioned that while with the band, the info about Ned Kelly which was surprisingly missing, and also that Gregor Jordan who directed that then was brought in to do the powderfinger DVD, a point I think is worthy of noting here rather than anywhere else. What do you think? --rm 'w avu 09:53, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- Somehow it fills the gap. Where's the sources by the way? =) --Efe (talk) 10:03, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- Not to sound lazy, but I'll leave that to DHMO or spebi. Wow, there really isn't a way of saying that without sounding really lazy. LOL. For now, trust it. They'll be reffed before long. --rm 'w avu 10:08, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- Hehe. Ok. No probs. --Efe (talk) 10:18, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- *slaps Linc* will do. :) dihydrogen monoxide (H20) 09:09, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
- Hehe. Ok. No probs. --Efe (talk) 10:18, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- Not to sound lazy, but I'll leave that to DHMO or spebi. Wow, there really isn't a way of saying that without sounding really lazy. LOL. For now, trust it. They'll be reffed before long. --rm 'w avu 10:08, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- Somehow it fills the gap. Where's the sources by the way? =) --Efe (talk) 10:03, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- I've just added some generalities of the period, though mentioned that while with the band, the info about Ned Kelly which was surprisingly missing, and also that Gregor Jordan who directed that then was brought in to do the powderfinger DVD, a point I think is worthy of noting here rather than anywhere else. What do you think? --rm 'w avu 09:53, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- See Powderfinger#History. The band rarely make mention to who did what, so it's basically all a group effort, and Fanning didn't do much independently while working with the band. dihydrogen monoxide (H20) 08:33, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- Remove also.
- Move the comma outside the quotation marks in "Not Finished Just Yet,"
- develoeped to developed.
- Which was successful, though failed to perform well compared to "Wish You Well".
- Sorry, where? dihydrogen monoxide (H20) 08:33, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- Reword 8. 1 to 9 must be numbered.
- No need to mention it did not chart in New Zealand.
- Double linking of "Wish You Will".
- Remove "a song from the album".
- In Australia’s entire major…
- Again, the period thing in the second image.
- Fanning mentioned…(remove had made)
- Do not italicize Across the Great Divide tour.
- Punctuation is needed after "Fanning said of the tour".
- In a 1998 interview, Fanning said, …
- Remove the quotes about writing songs, just repeating what is said before that.
- Which ones specifically? dihydrogen monoxide (H20) 08:33, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- Just say bedroom and delink it.
- In an interview, he said, …
- Put a colon after this, "it is not the central focus when writing songs" and remove the comma and the word stating. The quoted material is long so using this would be better.
- In Personal life section, do not link dates which are not full, like February 2007.
- Link Spain.
- And also Europe…
- Has learned.
- The period in the third image…
- Remove the colors of the table.
- Again, the format of the date.
- Remove the periods, they’re not complete sentences.
- The ref placement looks bad without a full stop. dihydrogen monoxide (H20) 08:33, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- The references are not formatted well. The dates are inconsistent. Use the same format in the "date" field and do not link if it’s not a full date.
Feel free to object DM. --Efe (talk) 09:13, 19 February 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks heaps. I've replied to stuff that hasn't been done, so the rest is. dihydrogen monoxide (H20) 08:33, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Saturday 23 February 2008, 02:05 UTC)
[edit] Merriam-Webster's Words of the Year
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…
I think that there is much more work that needs to be done. I have passed this article through Wikipedia:Requests for feedback, and I have received some helpful information there. Now I hope to receive more in-depth feedback in order to improve the article to the best of my ability. Are there any gaps that I have to fill? Is the article too short? Am I lacking in details?
Thanks,
Dem393 (talk) 04:01, 22 January 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 04:30, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
-
- Would it be possible to get a peer review anytime soon?--Dem393 (talk) 00:28, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
- I read it and it is an interesting article - it seems like it is more of a list than a regular article, so if it is seen as a list it can not be a Good Article or a Featured Article, although it could potentially become a Featured List (FL). While it has some third-party sources that are independent, to become a FL it will need to have many more suce references and depend less on the primary sources from Merriam-Webster. Some might see this as an advertisement, so the third-party sources are especially important for that reason too. I would also try to explain what each word of the year (number one) is briefly - I had to click on the link to see what "w00t" means. Another possible thing to add would be comparisons to other word lists and perhaps more on cultural impact. I really don't know what else to say about it - the article seems reasonably complete as is, but there is always room for improvement. Ruhrfisch ><>°° 02:57, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
- I read it and it is an interesting article - it seems like it is more of a list than a regular article, so if it is seen as a list it can not be a Good Article or a Featured Article, although it could potentially become a Featured List (FL). While it has some third-party sources that are independent, to become a FL it will need to have many more suce references and depend less on the primary sources from Merriam-Webster. Some might see this as an advertisement, so the third-party sources are especially important for that reason too. I would also try to explain what each word of the year (number one) is briefly - I had to click on the link to see what "w00t" means. Another possible thing to add would be comparisons to other word lists and perhaps more on cultural impact. I really don't know what else to say about it - the article seems reasonably complete as is, but there is always room for improvement. Ruhrfisch ><>°° 02:57, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
- Would it be possible to get a peer review anytime soon?--Dem393 (talk) 00:28, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Saturday 23 February 2008, 14:32 UTC)
[edit] Concussion
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I'm mainly looking for people familiar with the subject to check facts, because I'm not an expert, and it's possible that I've introduced some distortions or inaccuracies (though I've compulsively referenced!). Particularly I'd be interested to know if folks think I've done the structural damage debate justice. I'd like to know what it would take to get this to GA and beyond, so of course any other suggestions would be great too. Thanks much, delldot talk 14:25, 22 January 2008 (UTC)
- Note: Because of its length, this peer review is not transcluded. It is still open and located at Wikipedia:Peer review/Concussion/archive1.
(Peer review added on Saturday 23 February 2008, 14:34 UTC)
[edit] The Angry Video Game Nerd
This peer review discussion has been closed.
This article, I feel, could be improved much so as to get GA status, but I would like to know through peer review how I shoudl go about it.
Thanks, Liscobeck (talk) 22:51, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 02:21, 9 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Saturday 23 February 2008, 14:50 UTC)
[edit] King Crimson
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I've worked on this article for a long time. It's currently at GA, but I'd ideally like to see it reach FA eventually. Some have said that it needs a copyedit, but I don't see that myself. Personally, I think the second paragraph in the Improvisation section is one of the weakest points of the article, and may possibly contain WP:OR - if so that can be removed by any editor who agrees with me. Having said that, it is definitely a decent article, and although I don't have access to book sources, I do think that it has FA potential, and would like your help in making that possible. I'd like to hear your thoughts.
Thanks, h i s s p a c e r e s e a r c h 23:02, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 02:21, 9 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Saturday 23 February 2008, 14:53 UTC)
[edit] Reservoir Dogs
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I want an overall review of this article for prose, I know it requires alot more sources. I also want a second opinion on what we should do with all the trivia, it's been edited down alot but there is still unsourced OR, any suggestions are appreciated.
Thanks, The Dominator (talk) 02:31, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Saturday 23 February 2008, 14:54 UTC)
[edit] Superdelegate
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…
I'm concerned that this page has changed too much in the last few months and is starting to lose it's NPOV and to "lean" more and more toward the Obama Campaign's "outlook" on Super Delegates. For example, the entire discussion of how Super Delegates were created after the McGovern loss in 1972 has, apparently, been removed. And, the pending request to move this article to "Unpledged Delegates" seems a bit strange in light of the current debate going on about Super Delegates.
Thanks, DemocratNanny (talk) 18:01, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
Comment by JamesMLane
The article summarizes the history of the rule -- correctly stating, with citation to a reliable source, that the superdelegate rule was adopted after the 1980 election, not after the 1972 election. The section on "Criticism" presents the criticism poorly and presents the other side not at all, so both aspects should be improved. One problem is that it's easier to find quotable spokespersons attacking the rule. People who side with the status quo, on any issue, tend to be less vocal. If you have information that will counter what you perceive as a "lean", by all means add it.
I will definitely try to learn enough about Wikipedia's intricacies to add information. And, I stand corrected. The Democratic Party did add Super Delegates in 1980 but one of the biggest reasons for doing so was as a "safety valve" to prevent McGovern type disasters. My concern with editing this and other articles related to the 2008 election (and specifically to the Obama - Clinton battle) is that, while I realize Wikipedia is an open community, I don't have the time or resources to sit around and have "edit wars" with Obama supporters who seem to be the ones altering these articles for political gain. I assume that this has been the case because the Obama supporters tend to be younger and more tech savvy than are the Clinton folks. But, all the same, I would hate to see Wikipedia used to push an agenda. DemocratNanny (talk) 08:09, 9 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 02:17, 9 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Saturday 23 February 2008, 15:05 UTC)
[edit] Mark Messier Leadership Award
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because It is part of the featured topic National Hockey League awards, but not a good article or featured article and the featured topic criteria has been changed to say that all such articles should have been peer reviewed.
Thanks, Zginder (talk) (Contrib) 00:44, 9 February 2008 (UTC)
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- I don't think this peer review is necessary; this article was vetted at the nomination and it's obviously fine. Also, it's more of a list, so a semi-automated peer review won't help at all. Maxim(talk) 12:49, 9 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Saturday 23 February 2008, 15:07 UTC)
[edit] Cannibal Holocaust
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've done the first major edits to the article since its feature article listing, mainly to the production section. I'd like a peer review to make sure I didn't screw anything up too badly. Helltopay27 (talk) 03:07, 9 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Saturday 23 February 2008, 15:13 UTC)
[edit] Harry and the Potters discography
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… it has failed to achieve featured list status twice, it also went through peer review before, yet only an automated review was given. I would like to know how I can improve the article, so that it follows the criteria. Length has been addressed and now am wondering how it can become "a timeline of important events on a notable topic" - I believe it requires third-party sources, however I am unable of finding any. I am looking for any suggestions about improving the article, meeting the criteria or if you would be so kind, directly editing the article. Thanks! Hpfan9374 (talk) 14:02, 9 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 01:56, 11 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Saturday 23 February 2008, 15:15 UTC)
[edit] Homeopathy
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it is a thoroughly sourced good article, and with editing, stylistic improvements, and perhaps removal of some excessively long sections to daughter articles, it could become a featured article.
Note: the article was recently subject to intense edit warring, but this seems to be under control. I would like suggestions on how to improve the article so that former adversaries can work together towards a common goal.
Thanks, Jehochman Talk 22:14, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
The lead and the first section are fine, Oh well, what a difference less than a sennight makes. •Jim62sch•dissera! 22:05, 9 February 2008 (UTC)- This needs to be improved "...one should administer a minute dose of a substance that in crude dose...", •Jim62sch•dissera! 06:20, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
- Rather than using nth century, a little more date specificity might be nice. •Jim62sch•dissera! 06:22, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
- US homeopathy still exists, yes? " This trend became especially exemplified by James Tyler Kent and dominated US homeopathy from the 1850s until its demise in the 1940s." •Jim62sch•dissera! 06:38, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
- This could be better phrased. It seems to be a ref to broad-spectrum treatments, is it? On the other hand, "clinical" homeopathy uses a range of approaches including combinations of remedies to "cover" the various symptoms of an illness, similar to conventional drug treatments •Jim62sch•dissera! 06:44, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
- Crappy English: ...where the patient's subjective improvement of symptoms is based solely on the patient expecting that it will work
- This section ===Contemporary prevalence=== is poorest some I English read ever have. •Jim62sch•dissera! 07:24, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 15:21, 5 February 2008 (UTC)
- I've copied in the results of the script below:
Please do not copy the semi automated review here - this is stated in the directions above, thanks Ruhrfisch ><>°° 20:10, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Review by Radames
The current article is a polemic against Homeopathy: it s not neutral.
1.” Claims for its efficacy beyond the placebo effect are unsupported by the collective weight of scientific and clinical studies” This is not a neutral statement. Most of the studies I read in the article don’t support the sentence. They concluded that the results are positive but not convicning. 2. The only study which” debunked “ homeopathy has caused a major controversy (major press .articles, debates - I saw one at the museum of the natural history ) and important homeopaths have critisized it in reliable sources : where is this critisism ? 3.Homeopathy according to the editors of the article is not regarded ………controversial anymore; despite all the reliable sources which state the opposite. 4.The article is unstable since December . : Totally unbalanced and biased.--Radames1 (talk) 03:15, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
-
- The truth doesn't have to respect your notion of "balance". Also, see WP:UNDUE, and maybe read a bit about science 195.141.76.131 (talk) 17:18, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Grammar
- Please do not add level 1-3 section headings to peer reviews. If this happens too often, we may have to reconsider transcluding peer reviews onto the main peer review page. Thanks, Geometry guy 21:10, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
When everyone is done mucking about ;) the grammar of the article will need to be corrected -- assuming it isn't in the interim. However, the present course doesn't seem to offer much hope. •Jim62sch•dissera! 22:12, 9 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Saturday 23 February 2008, 15:29 UTC)
[edit] Hydro-Québec's electricity transmission system
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to see what parts of the article need expansion and/or improvement. I would also like to see if this article qualifies for Featured-article status.
Thanks, Cheers. Trance addict 21:43, 2 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 15:23, 5 February 2008 (UTC)
-
- I'd prefer a human review, but thanks anyway. Cheers. Trance addict
- I'd prefer a human review, but thanks anyway. Cheers. Trance addict
(Peer review added on Saturday 23 February 2008, 15:44 UTC)
[edit] EasyJet
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because there's been a lot of work done on it recently - I know it's not perfect and I have my own idea of what needs to be done, but would appreciate some objective comments.
Thanks, Wexcan Talk 03:51, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Saturday 23 February 2008, 15:56 UTC)
[edit] Concurrent use registration
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I think it's pretty good, and would like to know if there's anything I need to do to move it further up the quality ladder.
Thanks, bd2412 T 21:15, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Saturday 23 February 2008, 16:02 UTC)
[edit] Old Trafford
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I wish to eventually submit it as a featured article candidate, as part of my drive to get Manchester United F.C. and its related articles to Featured Topic status. I believe some statements may require referencing, but I am unsure exactly which ones these are. I have based the article's structure on that used in Priestfield Stadium and Portman Road, both of which are now Featured Articles. I believe the content of Old Trafford is much more comprehensive than either of those two, and so it shouldn't take too much effort to get it to Featured status.
Thanks, – PeeJay 23:47, 6 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)
My thoughts:
- Not keen on the sentences in parentheses in the lead, are the parentheses really necessary?
- Done
- "bar an eight year " - except for an eight year..?
- Done
- Is all the information in the infobox referenced by [1]?
- Yes. How should I deal with this to make that self-evident?
- 1910-present should be 1910–present.
- Done
- "it was decided " by whom?
- "so funds were released " from where and by whom?
- Done both of the above
- History is 13 paragraphs, most of them quite short, I'd try to merge some of them.
- Done
- Broke ground in 1909 and "Development was completed in 1909" - so the whole stadium was completed within a year? (just checking...)
- Ref 1 states that the ground was built in 1909. I would take this as meaning that the entire construction process was completed within the year of 1909, before the ground was opened in early 1910.
- " a rarity for British club grounds. " - sounds like WP:OR to me!
- Done
- " this record will almost certainly be broken by United themselves." - WP:CRYSTAL (although I'm sure you're right).
- I have re-worded this sentence to make it seem less prophetic.
- "Chelsea won the match 2–1." and its paragraph have no citations.
- I have added citations to some of the statements, but I don't believe the fact that Chelsea won the FA Cup Final needs referencing.
- link " hooligan firm"
- Done
- Are stands capitalised or not? "north stand" or "North Stand"?
- Yes, they are. The official name for each stand is "North Stand", "West Stand", "South Stand" and "East Stand". A bit soulless, I'll grant you, but that's the way they are.
- Last two paragraphs of History are uncited.
- Done
- "3 days " - three days.
- Done
- Pele's real name is Pelé.
- Done
- Paras 3,4 and 5 of structure and facilities uncited.
- Done
- "most famous stand at Old Trafford is perhaps the West Stand" - substantiate the claim.
- Not done Since I've used "perhaps", I didn't think a ref was required, but I'll see if I can find one.
- Jumbo jet links to a disambiguation page.
- Done Linked to wide-body aircraft instead.
- Avoid in-line linking such as ManUtd.com.
- Not done It seemed appropriate at the time, but if it's against the MOS to have links like that in the middle of text, then I'll remove it.
- Use the {{convert}} template for measurements so imperial and metric units are given.
- Done
- Transport section is unreferenced.
- Done
- Five external links really necessary?
- Done Reduced to two links.
- Suc box and template-tastic - any way of hiding any of those?
- Done Deleted the succession boxes, but I don't know how to make templates hideable.
Hope these help. The Rambling Man (talk) 08:54, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
- I have now dealt with each of the concerns expressed here. Any other comments, please share them. – PeeJay 18:15, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from Oldelpaso
- Some things mentioned in the lead are not mentioned in the body - Euro 96, Champions League final, Maine Road.
- Done
- The bit about the Olympics is speculative and uncited, and should probably be removed.
- Done
- Both grounds were blighted by wretched conditions Such as?
- Done
- Leitch designed a large number of grounds. It might be better to say something to this effect than give a list of seemingly randomly selected examples.
- Done
- However, the visitors spoiled the proceedings POV. I'm sure Liverpool didn't regard it that way.
- Done Reworded
- Ironically, the record attendance at Old Trafford is not for a United home game Unusual but not irony. Incidentally, a near-converse is also true, United's record home crowd isn't at Old Trafford.
- Done Well said too.
- the Red Army – became one of the most feared in the country uncited, gained notoriety would probably be better.
- Their activity forced the club to erect the country's first perimeter fence around the Old Trafford pitch. An unintended meaning is present here - it was the first perimeter fence separating a crowd from a football pitch, not the first perimeter fence.
- Done and Done
- After the first improvements to the ground had been made following the Second World War, the capacity of the ground had been steadily declining. By the 1980s... Could do with rewording, it makes it sound like the capacity dropped every few weeks or something.
- Done
- Traditionally, the stand is where the hard-core United fans sit Traditionally they stood there.
- Done
Hope this helps. Oldelpaso (talk) 20:33, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
- I think I've covered everything there. Any more comments, you know the drill. – PeeJay 00:10, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments by Qwghlm
- I think this article relies too much on one source, a greater diversity would be appreciated.
- I would tend to agree, but there's a limited number of sources that go into as much depth as the one at manutdzone.com. I'll see if I can find some different ones though. I'm sure there's a couple of things in The United Miscellany or The Man Utd Miscellany (strangely, these are two different books by two different authors, and produced by two different publishers within about six months of each other. Weird, huh?)
- Infobox needs to include the costs of renovations and architects since Leitch, since so little of the original remains.
- If you know where I can find such information, please provide a link.
- Given the abundancy of books about the club, the information is undoubtedly out there. I've emailed you with one example I know of. Oldelpaso (talk) 19:14, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
- As I said in my email reply, I don't doubt that the information is out there. It's just that I have a grand total of about five books on the history of Manchester United, two of which are trivia books, and one focuses on the Newton Heath era (1878-1902), so it's no help here. – PeeJay 19:37, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
- Another resource I neglected to mention is Google Book Search. Generally best for academic sources, but it might turn up some useful architectural information with the right search terms. Oldelpaso (talk) 19:55, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
- As I said in my email reply, I don't doubt that the information is out there. It's just that I have a grand total of about five books on the history of Manchester United, two of which are trivia books, and one focuses on the Newton Heath era (1878-1902), so it's no help here. – PeeJay 19:37, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
- Given the abundancy of books about the club, the information is undoubtedly out there. I've emailed you with one example I know of. Oldelpaso (talk) 19:14, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
- If you know where I can find such information, please provide a link.
- This article used to be at Old Trafford (football) with Old Trafford being a dab page. Why was the move made arbitrarily rather than with discussion, in contravention of WP:RM?
- Yeah, that wasn't me. Someone went round most of the football grounds recently and moved
- Don't like a POV nickname by a biased source being given in the introductory sentence.
- Not done The Theatre of Dreams is a nickname used by people all over the world. I dare say you've even referred to Old Trafford by that name yourself once or twice.
- wretched conditions - probably a more neutral and informative way (what was the problem? Bad pitch? Insufficient capacity? Poor location?)
- already done
- who also designed stands at... - Leitch designed dozens of clubs' stands, probably best to drop this clause, people can always find a comprehensive list in the article about him.
- as above
- the visitors spoiled the proceedings - POV
- as above
- barely two days after the team had beaten the same Villa side 4–3 at Villa Park - irrelevant
- Done I'm not quite sure why I thought that needed to be in there in the first place.
- Ironically, the record attendance at Old Trafford is not for a United home game - how is this ironic?
- Apparently I don't know the meaning of the word "ironic".
- At the ground's present capacity of 76,212... - delete this entire sentence, WP:NOTCRYSTAL
- Not done Looks OK when combined with the following sentence.
- Split the fourth paragraph into two.
- Since the fourth paragraph is about five lines long, I assume you mean the third paragraph, which I have now split.
- the club's hooligan firm – the Red Army – became one of the most feared in the country. - POV and probably unsalvageable, get rid of it.
- reworded
- However, in 2003, the Football Association decided to make Old Trafford the regular venue for England matches. - needs clarity - the City of Manchester Stadium, St James' Park, Villa Park and Anfield all hosted England matches between 2003 and 2007 [2] [3]. Should clarify that OT was the most used but not exclusively so and provide a count (x of England's y matches)
- Done and thanks for the references.
- Old Trafford's most recent expansion needs a specific date
- Done
- The whole of the last paragraph of the history section should be condensed, it reads like a very tedious list of matches. Just say the extension was gradually opened and state the current record.
- Done
- The stadium is now the 36th largest football venue in the world and the 12th largest in Europe - Wikipedia cannot reference itself; use an alternative.
- Not done Couldn't find an alternative without referencing the capacity of every ground above Old Trafford in the table, so I deleted the statement.
- is considered to be the ground's main stand - weasel words. If it is the largest stand of the stadium then just state that.
- In fact, the stand is so big that the roof is the largest cantilever roof in Europe. - horrible English, fix it.
- Done Deleted both of the above
- The roar coming from the Stretford End was once measured as being louder than a jumbo jet taking off. - ambiguous and highly dubious as a Boeing 747 can deafen you if you're close enough. How many decibels exactly, and at what distance was each measurement taken?
- Deleted. I really must stop taking my references from fansites.
- The K Stand fans are renowned for their vocal support for the club, and a large array of chants and songs, - citation needed
- Also, what does the "K" in "K Stand" stand for?
- Attempted to cite, but I have no idea what the "K" stands for. I'm fairly certain there were two other initialled stands, "J Stand" and "G Stand", and that "G Stand" was in the United Road End, while "J Stand" was close to "K Stand".
- I don't have a ref, but I'm sure it doesn't stand for anything - going back a few years, blocks of seating were allocated letters, starting with A at one part of the ground and moving around alphabetically. Chances are that post-Taylor Report none of it makes sense any more (and some of them probably no longer exist) but the initials are still commonly used in some cases. Oldelpaso (talk) 19:14, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
- Attempted to cite, but I have no idea what the "K" stands for. I'm fairly certain there were two other initialled stands, "J Stand" and "G Stand", and that "G Stand" was in the United Road End, while "J Stand" was close to "K Stand".
- I agree that the ManUtd.com link should be removed, it gives the impression of being spam (even if it is not intended to be the case)
- Done
- Uniquely, in September 1994, an edition of Songs of Praise was recorded there. - not uniquely, an edition was recorded from the Millennium Stadium.
- Done
- See also links to North Road and Bank Street should really be put in the MUFC nav template. Old Trafford Cricket Ground is linked to in the intro and doesn't need to be here either.
- Done
That's it for now. The article is fairly good, though the prose doesn't quite flow as well as I'd like in some cases, but the above are the most urgent cases for fixing. Qwghlm (talk) 21:00, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
- I hope I've dealt with those satisfactorily. I'm sure there's still plenty of work to be done though. That'll teach me to try and write an article in chunks, rather than in one fell swoop. – PeeJay 00:59, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks. Just to elaborate on a couple of things - I don't think the fact the record attendance is for a Cup semi-final is ironic, as Cup semi-finals are a regular occurrence and prestigious events in themselves. If you can't find figures for the stadium's renovations for the infobox, fair enough, but please make clear in the infobox that the costs & architect were for the original 1910 stadium. Oh and finally, as an Arsenal fan I can assure you I have never referred to the stadium as "The Theatre of Dreams" :) Qwghlm (talk) 14:29, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
- I have removed all references to irony from the article. Instead, I have mentioned that it is unusual for the stadium's record attendance not to involve its home club. I'm not quite sure how to make it clear that the cost and architect are only for the original stadium, so I've just put the year in parentheses after each. Hope that's OK. Just so you know, I never referred to Highbury as "the home of football" either. May have called it "The Library" once or twice though. ;) – PeeJay 14:40, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks. Just to elaborate on a couple of things - I don't think the fact the record attendance is for a Cup semi-final is ironic, as Cup semi-finals are a regular occurrence and prestigious events in themselves. If you can't find figures for the stadium's renovations for the infobox, fair enough, but please make clear in the infobox that the costs & architect were for the original 1910 stadium. Oh and finally, as an Arsenal fan I can assure you I have never referred to the stadium as "The Theatre of Dreams" :) Qwghlm (talk) 14:29, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 02:23, 9 February 2008 (UTC)
- From the instructions above: "Please do not include any images, such as done/not done templates with tick/cross graphics..." Ruhrfisch ><>°° 01:51, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Saturday 23 February 2008, 16:05 UTC)
[edit] The Sims 2
This peer review discussion has been closed.
This article has progressed considerably since its last peer review in March of last year. Any constructive suggestions or comments would be helpful. I’d like to get it to a GA status. Thanks, Delia19 (talk) 05:06, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Saturday 23 February 2008, 16:06 UTC)
[edit] Preludes (Chopin)
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…
- It requires cleanup, as it has been tagged so.
- It has been described by an IP user as "an absolute disgrace, consisting of little beyond wildly subjective, often meaningless and ill-informed opinions" on the discussion page here.
- It needs a good re-shaping in tone and literary structure, especially in the "Pop culture" section - in short, a little more Wiki.
Thanks for your help, ~~MusicalConnoisseur~~ Got Classical? 20:04, 2 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 15:24, 5 February 2008 (UTC)
Comments from Awadewit
- The first step to take in improving this article is: research, research, research. The editors need to find out what the most important scholarly works are on Chopin and Chopin's Preludes. After reading these works, the editors will have a better idea of how to shape the article and what information to include in it. Also, it will give them the necessary citations (see WP:V for the policy on citations).
- Thinking about the structure of the article in the broadest terms, this is what I came up with:
-
- a lead that summarizes it (this should probably be written after the article is restructured and redrafted) - see WP:LEAD
- an overview section describing the pieces
- a small summary of each piece (no need to expand greatly as each piece has its own page)
- musical clips illustrating the pieces
- a section detailing the reception of the pieces
- a section detailing the important recordings and performances of the pieces (part of "Reception", perhaps?)
- I would delete the "References in popular culture" section. It is trivial and doesn't belong in an encyclopedia article - see WP:TRIVIA. However, if you want to retain the information, you can always place it in a Chopin in popular culture article.
- Concerto delle donne is one of the few classical music FAs we have. Looking at it might give the editors some idea of the quality that these articles can achieve.
- I hope this helps. It is not really possible to say much more at this stage, as quite a bit of research and writing still needs to be done. I look forward to following the article's progress as I love these pieces. They are beautiful and deserve an equally beautiful article. :) (P.S. I have just started Op. 25, no. 12. Do you play that etude?) Awadewit | talk 04:15, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Saturday 23 February 2008, 16:11 UTC)
[edit] Shady Records
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because a lot of effort has been made to make this article as informative and encyclopaedic as possible. I would like for this article to some day receive FA status if possible, so anything that can be done to improve it to it's current rating, including small things to the addition of more information that could be added (sections, perhaps). To my knowledge, no record label has actually received a GA/A/FA status, and with the hard work I feel that's been put in, it would be nice to see that I have been able to contribute something like this to Wikipedia at a high standard.
Thanks, Harish - 16:05, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 15:22, 5 February 2008 (UTC)
- Are you saying that this is all that's left before it's worthy of a high status like GA or even FA? -- Harish - 01:33, 6 February 2008 (UTC)
Here are my thoughts on what looks like a diamond in the rough.
- The first paragraph of the lead is pretty lumpy. For stuff like this, I'd just delete it and rewrite it from scratch. The first sentence is fine, it does what it needs to, but the rest of it is repetitive and doesn't run smoothly at all. I'm not sure that it's overly relevant to which label Eminem is signed; at least it's not important enough to be in the first paragraph. WP:LEAD says that the lead should sum up the major points of the article and be readable as a synthesis in its own right.
- Done. -- Harish - 14:36, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
- Likewise, the first sentence of the second paragraph is confusing too.
- Done. -- Harish - 14:36, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
- "After Eminem released The Marshall Mathers LP, he started his own record label in late 2000. Eminem started this label with his manager, Paul Rosenberg. Eminem" - Eminem, Eminem, Eminem. Sometimes "he" does the job.
- Done. Reworded the line instead though. -- Harish - 20:43, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
- "By June, 2001" - I don't think you need the comma here. There are multiple instances of this.
- Done. -- Harish - 20:43, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
- "Devil's Night, with success" - sounds a little weak. "To commercial success", or something a bit meatier, might do the trick a little better.
- Done. -- Harish - 20:43, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
- "radio station, Shade 45, air" - what's the "air" bit about?
- Done. Corrected its use. -- Harish - 20:43, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
- Overall I like 2000-2004. I think it would benefit from a free-use image if you can get hold of one.
- "This spawned the controversy that followed [...] was no longer a Shady Records involved project" - I think this entire section needs rewriting. It's confusing as hell and takes away from an otherwise well-written lead-up.
- "2005 also saw the sixth signing to Shady Records. This artist is also an Atlanta rapper, and he goes by the name of Bobby Creekwater." - the tone here is totally bizarre.
- Done. -- Harish - 20:43, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
- "In 2006, Shady Records had their seventh artist, by the name of Cashis, signed to the label [...] However, seemingly the state of the rap industry, the album sales did not fair well" - this is another crappy section.
- The release dates in the discography table are formatted pretty weirdly.
- Discussed. An understanding as to why this is so has been made. -- Harish - 20:43, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
There ya go, I hope that's all constructive. Best of luck with it. Seegoon (talk) 20:13, 6 February 2008 (UTC)
- Thank you, Seegoon! -- Harish - 20:43, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
- From the instructions: "Please do not include any images, such as done/not done templates with tick/cross graphics..." Ruhrfisch ><>°° 01:57, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Saturday 23 February 2008, 16:13 UTC)
[edit] The Jeremy Kyle Show
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…
I had nominated this article for GA, but it failed it. I'd like thoughts as to how it could possibly reach GA or even FA (The Jeremy Kyle Show as a featured article would be great, even if unlikely - a chance for Wikipedia to shine perhaps?)
Thanks, h i s s p a c e r e s e a r c h 01:00, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Monday 25 February 2008, 00:14 UTC)
[edit] Senecio vulgaris
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it seemed to be the next step towards completing an article for English wikipedia.
Thanks, carol 21:22, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Monday 25 February 2008, 00:15 UTC)
[edit] St. Barnabas Church, Upper Marlboro, Maryland
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like to get this article to GA status. I've put a lot of research in to the article and would like to finish the project.
Thanks, Toddst1 (talk) 19:17, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 02:16, 9 February 2008 (UTC)
- The intro needs expansion, it should include some general facts about the church but not be overly detailed since detail belongs in the article body. Also, image gallery sections are discouraged, I'd recommend moving the images into the article body. Per WP:DATE, dates need to be linked, which I took care of. Check if there are any left though, I might have missed some. One last thing, the format for the accessdate parameters in citation templates should be
yyyy-mm-dd(the month and day need two digits) so that they get automatically linked properly. Keep up the good work!-Jeff (talk) 02:45, 9 February 2008 (UTC) - I read through the article and mostly saw a high quality article without a lot that sprung to mind in terms of suggestions. The article gives enough related details to keep it interesting (such as the story of Jonathan Boucher's departure), without getting bogged down in any of them. I do second the need for a longer introduction. Kudos to Toddst1 for a job well done. Kingdon (talk) 03:22, 9 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Monday 25 February 2008, 00:52 UTC)
[edit] Sea otter
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I'm hoping to bring this article to FAC soon. It's quite thoroughly sourced but I know there are some statements that still need references, which I think I can do. In the meantime, I'd like to get feedback on comprehensiveness, accuracy, and neutrality of content. Copyediting and/or feedback on clarity and presentation would also be appreciated.
Thanks, Kla’quot (talk | contribs) 06:15, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- Consider moving the article to Sea Otter and capitalizing the common name throughout the article (as well as the common name of all other species in the article). - UtherSRG (talk) 12:11, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 02:59, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
- As a note, I've passed this article for GA status. bibliomaniac15 22:47, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Monday 25 February 2008, 04:31 UTC)
[edit] Ganymede (moon)
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it has been significantly expanded since the New Year. Any comments about the article's content are appreciated.
Thanks,
Ruslik (talk) 19:06, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
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[edit] RJH review
Overall a pretty good article. I really couldn't find much to fault, so I only have a few suggestions:
- The first sentence of "Composition" section suggests a composition that is half water ice. Should this just say water, in lieu of the subsurface ocean? Or is the composition section specifically about the surface?
- I think the second paragraph of "Orbit and rotation" may need a diagram for clarity. Also, the term "superior conjunction" is usually used in reference to the Earth's position around the Sun. I'm unclear about the perspective here.
- I suspect that some jargon like "moment of inertia" and "magnetic moment" may need to be explained.
- Could the article explain why Ganymede accreted at such a rapid rate compared to Callisto?
Nice work. Thank you.—RJH (talk) 23:58, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
- Re the last bullet, I added "The jovian subnebula may have been relatively "gas-starved" when the Galilean satellites formed; this would have allowed for the lengthy accretion times required for Callisto." The paper is here. Ruslik, I couldn't find the point where it confirms 10,000 years for Ganymede. Marskell (talk) 12:09, 1 February 2008 (UTC)
- Found a diagram on Io for the second point. Marskell (talk) 12:17, 1 February 2008 (UTC)
The lead has been expanded to a good size and Velvetron is taking care of some minor things like duplicate blue links. Next, the info box needs refs. Marskell (talk) 10:20, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
- Along with "moment of inertia" and "magnetic moment," "the low strength of the higher quadrupole harmonics" also needs to be explained for the reader. After that, we're pretty much good to go with this one. Marskell (talk) 08:24, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
- Small note: I know I said on Callisto that the adjectival form seems better upper case, but really adjectives are adjectives so I just changed to lower case. I've used ganymedian every time. Marskell (talk) 17:31, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
- I removed the sentence contaning "the low strength of the higher quadrupole harmonics" and added an explanation for "dimenesionless moment of inertia". However "magnetic moment" requires a lengthy explanation. I think it is better to simply use the wikilink. Ruslik (talk) 17:44, 17 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Monday 25 February 2008, 05:09 UTC)
[edit] List of 30 Rock episodes
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like feedback on some extensive edits that I have been doing.
I would like feedback on what needs to be worked on and also any problems with layout.
Thanks, Jamie jca (talk) 00:34, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Monday 25 February 2008, 11:14 UTC)
[edit] Princess Helena of the United Kingdom
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I wish to get it up to FA status, so any comments against the FA criteria will be useful. :) Thanks, PeterSymonds | talk 14:39, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] SGGH
Hey, I have responded to your request on my talk page. My points below are ordered in the same way as what they refer to is in the article.
Specifics
- The first two paragraphs should be combined I feel, they are too short when apart.
- I see what you mean. I've combined 2 and 3 instead, as paragraph 1 is meant to be a short and snappy general info/notability paragraph. I've used the same in other royal articles I've written, but if you feel it should be changed I'll see what the British Royalty director says about it.
- I feel the opening sentence should read "The Princess Helena (Helena Augusta Victoria: Princess Christian of Schleswig-Holstein by marriage..." and make sure the semi colon currently there is changed to a colon, which I assume is what is meant to be there?
- Hmm, interesting. I've changed it.
- Wikilink Germany in its first instance
- Addressed.
- "In her teenage years" - is there a way to be more specific?
- Addressed.
- Wikilink England and Scotland
- Addressed.
- "nature of the relationship is largely unknown" this ought to be cited
- Addressed.
- What is a helpmeet?
- Unofficial secretary. I've changed it.
- "Princess Helena began an early flirtation with her father's former librarian, Carl Ruland." (first line of marriage controversy") that sentence ends abruptly, may want to merge it with the second sentence and re-jiggle it.
- Addressed.
- Take a look at WP:DASH to make sure you are using all the dashes correctly
- I'll work on these.
- Re-paragraph "Engagement and wedding" I would, these two sentence paragraphs ought to be combined into others.
- Addressed.
- "Simple life" is a bit of a general, intangible title for a section?
- Addressed.
- "caused distress to the royal family." at the end of "simple life" are there any specifics?
- Addressed. Unfortunately I don't have specifics; but I've quoted the royal circular. The circular doesn't go into detail.
- "British Nurses' Association" in "Nursing" section, is there a wikilink for this?
- No. I would start it but I haven't got time right now. Also I'm no expert on nursing so it might not be wise :)
- "one contemporary newspaper" in the needle work section, you could name the paper as long as you kept "contemporary" in there.
- Oops, book. I've added the author but I can't find anything about him. Chomet
- Perhaps change "author" to "writing"? If you are an author, your interests are "writing" not "author" and the section title just feels like it should be the name of the interest not the role of the subject. Just a feeling, go with what you think is right but I wonder if you get the same feeling as I do.
- Quite right. Addressed.
- "Quiet life" has the same issues as a section heading as "simple life" does
- On my screen, the location of the image of the grave at the end of "later years" interferes with the Saxe-Coburg template in the section below, leaving it an inch or so from the edge of the page. You just need to move the grave image up and perhaps make it larger.
- How odd. I've moved the photo up, but I've not specified a size as its supposed to resize itself in other browsers.
- In the arms section, perhaps more on what the symbols mean?
General points
- The lead a good five or so more citations I feel, and the overall article could do with ten or so. If you feel personally that you have over-cited your article, that's probably a good indicator that you have cited just right.
- Five refs in the lead? I don't see how its necessary because everything's referenced further on. Let me know what you think should be referenced in the main article.
- Read WP:CAPTION ideally the information in the caption should lend more understanding than a mere 5 word summary of the image.
- I'll work on these.
- The references section, you may wish to organise it into website and written sources, as per (and I pick ones I have written only because I know it exhibits this organisation) Operation Camargue or Mozambican War of Independence
- Added an external links section.
That's all I can find at the moment, it is an excellent article, you cover everything I can think of and write well, lots of images. Don't feel that it's a problematic article just because I haven't mentioned what's good about it. Everything above is minor. Hope this helps, SGGH speak! 15:25, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
I've already corrected the few minor things that I found issue with. You shouldn't have any major problems at FAC (assuming no major part of her life was omitted). Great article. --mav (talk) 17:56, 23 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Monday 25 February 2008, 21:18 UTC)
[edit] Skokiaan
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I have done extensive work on it and would like to see whether it could qualify for a Featured Article.
I would appreciate detailed comments on aspects of the text that need to be adjusted, expanded, or integrated.
Thanks, DocDee (talk) 05:15, 11 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Tuesday 26 February 2008, 01:43 UTC)
[edit] Mirth & Girth
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…
…it's time for some other eyes to be laid on this article. Specifically, I had trouble writing the Appellate court section - it's hard to summarize a judge's opinion. In addition, I would like other people's opinions on the article's "content completeness", especially the Aftermath (Consequences?) section.
Thanks! —Rob (talk) 21:51, 11 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Tuesday 26 February 2008, 01:44 UTC)
[edit] List of New York hurricanes
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I have worked on this article, rewriting it completly, and I believe it meets FL criteria, but I would like to get other people's opinions and consturctive critisism.
Thanks, Juliancolton (Talk) 21:48, 11 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Tuesday 26 February 2008, 01:46 UTC)
[edit] Fanpop
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it's a new page, and my first page and I'd like some kind of approval.
Thanks, --J-- (talk) 04:00, 11 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Tuesday 26 February 2008, 01:48 UTC)
[edit] Fanny Imlay
This peer review discussion has been closed.
This article is about Mary Wollstonecraft's less well-known daughter, Fanny Imlay. I am planning on taking it to FAC, so comments towards that end would be much appreciated. I am most curious to hear whether the article is decipherable. Imlay lived in the midst of a complicated family drama which is hard to explain succinctly. She also committed suicide - there are many theories that explain this. I most want to know whether the reader can follow the labyrinthine story of her life as it is told in this article. Thanks. Awadewit | talk 08:06, 23 January 2008 (UTC)
- Note: Because of its length, this peer review is not transcluded. It is still open and located at Wikipedia:Peer review/Fanny Imlay/archive1.
(Peer review added on Tuesday 26 February 2008, 02:09 UTC)
[edit] List of Meerkat Manor meerkats
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I believe this list may be an excellent candidate for Featured List status, but would like to get some outside feedback on it to make sure it is as good as it can be before submitting. I know one issue is probably the lack of images, which is being worked on, but are there any other issues that need to be addressed? Are the meerkat descriptions well balanced between reality and the series? Any places that do not appear to be well sourced? Anything missing from the introduction? etc.
Thanks in advance,
Collectonian (talk) 00:32, 30 January 2008 (UTC)
- Note: Because of its length, this peer review is not transcluded. It is still open and located at Wikipedia:Peer review/List of Meerkat Manor meerkats/archive1.
(Peer review added on Tuesday 26 February 2008, 02:11 UTC)
[edit] Red Dwarf
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it has been through a lot of editing in the past few months. It has been cleaned up, certain sections removed or merged, and references have been inserted against the relevant statements. it would be a great help if other editors outside the subject matter could give their opinion on the article. Thanks, Nreive (talk) 12:08, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
- Note: Because of its length, this peer review is not transcluded. It is still open and located at Wikipedia:Peer review/Red Dwarf/archive1.
(Peer review added on Tuesday 26 February 2008, 02:17 UTC)
[edit] Soprano Home Movies
This peer review discussion has been closed.
Hey, I've listed this article about one of my favorite The Sopranos epsiodes for a peer review. I would like some feedback and comments on the overall quality of the article. I've modeled it after the Pilot (House) and Through the Looking Glass (Lost) articles (both featured). Although it's not as long as the latter, I think it covers all important aspects and follows Wikipedia:Television episodes closely. The article looked like this before I started working on it. The plot summary is a little longer than what's recommended but I really can't shorten it anymore without losing coherency, and as stated, "do not directly limit summaries if doing so makes them incoherent - the majority of good and featured episode articles overrun this limit slightly." I reckon there's some copy-editing to be made; as English is not my first language, I'm probably not too good at detecting weird and/or silly wordings. I know that the ratings part is just one long sentence but I really think it looks OK like that.
Much appreciated! –FunkyVoltron talk 17:49, 23 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Tuesday 26 February 2008, 15:10 UTC)
[edit] Discovery Expedition
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it has undergone considerable development in the last few weeks to bring it towards FA standard. I have therefore withdrawn its GA nomination as I feel a peer review is more appropriate.
Thanks, Brianboulton (talk) 17:42, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
Some brief MoS things:
- Label the External links
-
- I've done this - will expand the SPRI label when I can access the website, temporarily unavailable.
- The logic for the last 3 entries in See also isn't clear to me; do they belong there, can they be worked into the article, do they need an explanation? See WP:GTL.
-
- The Winter Quarters Bay link is of interest and I've added a short explanation. The other two are very tangental and I've dropped them
- I saw a few missing conversions (WP:UNITS), WP:NBSPs, and WP:MOSDATE (link month-day combos).
-
- I've added a few conversions, and a couple of nbsp, but I couldn't find an unlinked month-day combination
- I'm not sure on logical quotes, WP:PUNC on this one: Their goal:"To get as far south in a straight line on the Barrier ice as we can, reach the Pole if possible, or find some new land".[28] And missing spaces after colon. Also check WP:PUNC on the quote following The instructions concerning the geographical objective became more specific: ...
-
- On the first, I've dropped the colon to achieve a smoother reading: Their goal was "to get as far south..." I'm not sure what your query is with the second quote, it seems OK to me and I can't spot any MOS objection
- There are some WP:MOS#Captions issues, full sentences get punctuation at the end, sentence fragments do not.
-
- When is a sentence full? Let's say when it contains a verb. I've dealt with the captions on that basis
- Typo? ... Commander in the following terms: *to determine ...
-
- Corrected
- I don't know if any MOS guideline covers punctuation of this, best check: ... appointment of Dr J W Gregory, head of ...
-
- I've added a missing comma, and more importantly I've corrected the details concerning Gregory - Prof at Melbourne University, but what exactly was I being asked to check?
- WP:MOSNUM, don't begin sentence with number: 13 years later Scott, by now ...
-
- Changed
- Review, sometimes you use final two digits only, sometimes not: In 1839–43 James Clark ...
-
- I think the convention is that when year ranges are in the same century one uses the two-digit form, like 1839-43, & I have now adopted this throughout.
I didn't have time to read the article, but these are a few small items. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 23:41, 17 February 2008 (UTC)
-
- Thank you for finding time for this and let me know if I've met your requirementsBrianboulton (talk)
- Some minor points
- Refs 32 and 33 can be combined.
-
- They actually deal with quite different points, 32 with Wilson's evasiveness over scurvy and 33 with Shackleton disputing Scott's version of his being carried on the sledge, so I think they should remain separate
- I meant combined in the same way ref 20 is, using the "ref name" function. The two different points can still each have a citation, but it will help keep the references list short. Epbr123 (talk) 18:57, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
- I understand. I'll check for others Brianboulton (talk) 20:39, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
- Sorry, I'm still not able to see how 32 and 33 can be combined. 32 cites Crane, p. 226-27 and adds a footnote. 33 is simply a footnote, that has nothing to do with the Crane page citation. I have combined 34 and what was 35 - did you mean your note to refer to these? I haven't found any other combinations Brianboulton (talk) 16:55, 19 February 2008 (UTC)
- I meant combined in the same way ref 20 is, using the "ref name" function. The two different points can still each have a citation, but it will help keep the references list short. Epbr123 (talk) 18:57, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
- They actually deal with quite different points, 32 with Wilson's evasiveness over scurvy and 33 with Shackleton disputing Scott's version of his being carried on the sledge, so I think they should remain separate
-
- "8th February" - ordinal suffixes aren't used in dates, per WP:MOSNUM#Dates
-
- Corrected
-
- See WP:MOS#Ellipses
-
- Have I not used ellipses correctly? They seem OK to me MOS-wise
- There should be spaces around the ellipses, unless the ellipses were part of the original text being quoted. Epbr123 (talk) 18:57, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
- One ellipsis is part of the quoted text, the others aren't. I have dealt with these Brianboulton (talk) 20:39, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
- There should be spaces around the ellipses, unless the ellipses were part of the original text being quoted. Epbr123 (talk) 18:57, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
- Have I not used ellipses correctly? They seem OK to me MOS-wise
-
- "for another 8 days" - single-digit numbers should be spelled out, per WP:MOSNUM##Spelling out numbers. Epbr123 (talk) 00:40, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
-
- I've changed 8 to eight. Thanks for taking the time. Plese let me know if you aren't satisfied Brianboulton (talk) 17:38, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
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- I have used this to carry out more tidying and editing of content and I think the article is now pretty well in its finished form. I'm still checking a few small details. Helpful comments all appreciated. Brianboulton (talk) 18:46, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Tuesday 26 February 2008, 16:23 UTC)
[edit] Day of Silence
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it contradicts itself and there are grammar mistakes.
Thanks, Thepopularloser (talk) 08:37, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Wednesday 27 February 2008, 01:47 UTC)
[edit] The Fairylogue and Radio-Plays
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I began the article from scratch. I know I still need to cite my sources, most importantly the NYT article. I have a photo copy of it, but not handy, so I'm trying to find the citation that led me to it. All the credits are derived from the program in an online auction gallery.
Thanks, Scottandrewhutchins (talk) 17:42, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Wednesday 27 February 2008, 01:48 UTC)
[edit] Nairobi
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it seems to be a fairly well written article, well on the way to becoming a GA or FA. I want to see what can be done to further the article's growth.
Thanks, Editorofthewiki (talk) 14:25, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Wednesday 27 February 2008, 01:49 UTC)
[edit] Rossall School
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it has undergone significant editing and restructing since the last peer review. I would also suggest increasing its importance to those of the other English public schools - though it should clearly be lower than Eton, Harrow, Rugby and Winchester.
Thanks, (LennyLeonardson (talk) 01:38, 12 February 2008 (UTC))
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(Peer review added on Wednesday 27 February 2008, 01:50 UTC)
[edit] Jos LeDuc
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to nominate it for a Good Article review. I would particularly appreciate comments on the structure of the article (section breaks) and how well the topic is taken out of universe. Any comments about the writing and coverage of the article are appreciated. Thanks, GaryColemanFan (talk) 00:09, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Wednesday 27 February 2008, 01:51 UTC)
[edit] Damageplan
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I hope to get this article to FA standards. Short but sweet eh.
Thanks, M3tal H3ad (talk) 04:42, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] J Milburn
- "US marine" Shouldn't that be "U.S. Marine", and a link to United States Marine Corps would be good.
- "and that they had stolen his lyrics" Claimed that they had? Believed that they had?
- "vocalist as Rob Halford rejoined Judas Priest and he did not have a job" I really don't like this sentence.
- "The album was recorded at the brothers' backyard studio, Chasin' Jason in Arlington, Texas where previous Pantera albums were recorded." Comma after 'Texas'.
- "music critics, Christine Klunk of PopMatters commented" -> "music critics, with Christine Klunk, of PopMatters, commenting"
- "The murder of Dimebag Darrell" Remove "the"- avoid definate and indifinate articles in section/page titles.
- "Thompson, however was killed" Comma after 'however'.
- "however he was approached" I think 'but' would sound better than 'however'.
- "was setup called" In that case, set up is two words.
- "of drum technician John Brooks, and tour manager Chris Paluska" Either remove that comma, or add another one after 'Paluska'.
- "Niggemeyer was nominated for a bravery award on the TV show America's Most Wanted, although did not win." Reference?
- "studio, Chasin' Jason where" Comma after 'Jason'.
- He found the quote was authentic and referred to him" Too many 'he's and 'him's.
- "Anselmo is the vocalist of the bands Down and Superjoint Ritual." Ref?
- Can we have refs for the chart positions?
- ""Ashes to Ashes" was featured The Punisher: The Album and contains a guest appearance by Jerry Cantrell." Ref?
It's not bad, expecially considering the fact the band has only released one album, but still lacks something. J Milburn (talk) 14:23, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. I will continue to read interviews to find info to bring it to FA. M3tal H3ad (talk) 03:02, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Wednesday 27 February 2008, 02:20 UTC)
[edit] Flying the Flag (for You)
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to push it to FA before Eurovision in three months time. When it was listed as a GA, the reviewer said not much work would be needed to get it to FA, so I'm wondering what could be done.
Thanks, Will (talk) 19:22, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Thursday 28 February 2008, 03:47 UTC)
[edit] List of largest buildings in the world
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to get this list to featured list status but I am stuck as to how to improve it further.
Thanks, CStubbies 19:03, 11 February 2008 (UTC)
I would merge the "Sources" subsection for shopping centers into the single references list, but that's the only thing that stuck out for me.Good work! — Andrwsc (talk · contribs) 19:32, 11 February 2008 (UTC)
In the special buildings section, two of the entries are for the largest slaughterhouse and the largest wooden temple. How can they be listed as the largest when they have neither a specific size nor a citation to back it up?--Cryptic C62 · Talk 21:09, 11 February 2008 (UTC)
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Could we have more entries in the list of largest buildings by volume? 3 is not a lot. JMiall₰ 22:39, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
The special categories seems rather arbitrary, can the largest of any type of building go in here? If so some other types of building you could have the largest of: house, shop, castle, greenhouse, nightclub, restaurant, stadium, prison, school, cinema, every type of religous building. There could also be the largest buildings made of different materials such as wood, stone, brick etc. Also there's no history of largest buildings. A table showing what the world's largest building was throughout history would be interesting. JMiall₰ 22:49, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Thursday 28 February 2008, 04:03 UTC)
[edit] Diversity Day
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I've been working with it for a while, and am hoping to put it forward through to GAs. I'm hoping to get any constructive feedback I can from the review to help this article get to the best possible shape it can be.
Thanks, Mastrchf91 (t/c) 02:19, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from MaxVeers
Nice job. I'm a big fan of the show and I enjoyed reading this article.
Overall, I think the article looks pretty good. Here are my specific comments:
- I would recommend reintroducing Brown as "Mr. Brown, the corporate consultant..." in the Plot section. I know he is introduced as such in the lede, but the rest of the article is supposed to explain itself own without the overview provided by the lede.
- The direct quotes used in the Reception section are rather lengthy. Consider shortening them or paraphrasing to clarify what point you want to get across by using them. Also, the EW quote could use some bracketing or an introduction to show that "it" refers to The Office.
- Consider including the actual quote from the audio commentaries -- not essential but nice to have. For an example, see Halo 2.
- This episode was nominated for a Writers Guild of America Award in the Episodic Comedy category.[5] The Reception section of the article should mention it.
- It's standard practice to include an IMDb link in the External links section, e.g., "Diversity Day" at the Internet Movie Database
Hope this helps. By the way, if you'd be willing to peer review my article in return, I'd be grateful. MaxVeers (talk) 06:13, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Thursday 28 February 2008, 04:05 UTC)
[edit] Train horn
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I feel it needs overall improvement in preparation of nomination for a featured article.
Thanks, MakeChooChooGoNow (talk) 14:04, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
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[edit] Review by Peripitus
- The lead as it stands does not adequately summarise the article ( see WP:LEAD). In particular it needs to cover the history and operation sections
- The article is very US-centric and needs to cover a worldwide view (Railroads in India, China, England will operate differently). Too much talks about horns and usage in the United States with not much about the rest of the world. The "Train horns worldwide" section only references the United States.
- Although some of the article is well referenced much of it lacks inline links. Sections like "How they work" have statements that could be challenged and need a reference to back up non-obvious factual assertions.
- The section names need some work. eg: "How they work" would be better as "Operation"
- History needs to be expanded. There have been diesel locos since the early parts of the 20th century, Electric since well before this and some steam locomotives may have used horns in the 19th century.
- I'm not sure that the "Location and Placement" section is required. Unless there is a good reference this section could well be regarded as original research and the Gallery is better on Commons (which is linked to at the bottom of the article)
- In popular culture sections are usually to be avoided and the text in "Train horns and popular culture" should really be incorporated into the rest of the article
- There is some overlinking that does not add to the readers understanding. 1990s, pedal, 1960s, 1910s and individual years need not be linked. United States is linked multiple times and there are probably others I haven't seen.
- Peripitus (Talk) 06:07, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Thursday 28 February 2008, 04:12 UTC)
[edit] Belair Mansion
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because its historic significance as both the Colonial Governor's mansion as well as the cradle of American Thoroughbred Racing, home of the Belair Stud. I've done extensive research and editing and would like to take the article to GA status. Thanks, Toddst1 (talk) 21:28, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
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Doncram comment 1 I find my way here in response to a request to Assess the Belair Mansion article that was posted in Assessment subpage of the wp:nrhp WikiProject. The one comment that I can make now is that, although the article appears very good and has multiple sources, one source that it is lacking is the official NRHP "Inventory/Nomination" or "Registration" documents (text, photos, and sometimes also correspondence) for the site. These are often 20-30 page write-ups by a historian and further editors, and often include invaluable information describing a property, its historical significance, and specifics on boundaries of what is covered in the NRHP registration, including pieces that cannot be found elsewhere. I want to highly recommend your obtaining these documents, which are free, by request to the National Register Reference Team at nr_register at nps.gov, providing your postal address. I requested a set for another property recently and was told it is currently taking about 2-3 weeks for copies of these documents to be provided. For NRHP sites that are also NHLs, these documents are scanned and available on-line at the NPS, and for some states they are provided by a State website (but I don't know about Maryland), so your best bet is just to put in the request. In terms of assessment, I am personally requesting that articles reflect these documents before receiving higher ratings within WP:NRHP. Again, nice work on the article. Hope this helps, doncram (talk) 23:36, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
- Thank you for the tip - will do immediately. Toddst1 (talk) 23:44, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
- Hopefully you have asked or will ask for the NRHP docs for the separate NRHP that is the stables (refnum 73002163) associated with the mansion (refnum 77001520), too. The article should explicitly address the separate NRHP of the stables, I believe you would agree, including mention of its 1973 NRHP listing before the mansion's listing in 1977. The alternative would be develop a separate, linked article on the stables and relating the two articles to one another. If a section on the stables turns out to be very large, then that could be split off as a main article, eventually, however. doncram (talk) 14:47, 11 February 2008 (UTC)
- Double-checking, I find there is an article Belair Stable Museum already existing, to which Belair Stables is a redirect, and I see that you do have a link to this from the "Today" section of the mansion article. Well, that article should be developed simultaneously and considered as part of this same peer review, I believe. It is impossible to consider the contribution of the mansion to horse-racing, without considering this article and where the bulk of material on horse-racing as opposed to mansion details should be. It seems the importance of the mansion is largely related to the importance of the stables. doncram (talk) 15:02, 11 February 2008 (UTC)
- Hopefully you have asked or will ask for the NRHP docs for the separate NRHP that is the stables (refnum 73002163) associated with the mansion (refnum 77001520), too. The article should explicitly address the separate NRHP of the stables, I believe you would agree, including mention of its 1973 NRHP listing before the mansion's listing in 1977. The alternative would be develop a separate, linked article on the stables and relating the two articles to one another. If a section on the stables turns out to be very large, then that could be split off as a main article, eventually, however. doncram (talk) 14:47, 11 February 2008 (UTC)
- I have requested the documents for both sites. You raise a good point. There's also a related article on Belair Stud Thanks! Toddst1 (talk) 15:52, 11 February 2008 (UTC)
- The Belair Stud article, despite its name, seems to be about the stables and should be merged with the museum article material into an article titled Belair Stables (currently a redirect to the museum article). The Belair Stud article oughta be about the horse and line of horses, or it ought to be deleted, IMHO. I commented along these lines just now on Talk:Belair Stud. doncram (talk) 15:19, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
Doncram comment 2 The referencing in the article is fairly extensive and precise. It appropriately gives page numbers in references. The reference links are constructed as complete new references with just the page number changed, however, so the references section then appears somewhat bloated and there is unnecessary duplication (although most of that duplication is not visible to the reader). I suggest you adopt the two-section style of referencing using "Notes" and "Bibliography" (or you could call it "Notes" and "References") as used in Joseph Priestley House, an NRHP article recently promoted to Featured Article. doncram (talk) 15:37, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
Also I second several of the comments of the automated peer review, namely:
- "Please expand the lead to conform with guidelines at Wikipedia:Lead. The article should have an appropriate number of paragraphs as is shown on WP:LEAD, and should adequately summarize the article."
- "Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (headings), headings generally do not start with articles ('the', 'a(n)'). For example, if there was a section called ==The Biography==, it should be changed to ==Biography==." The section now titled "The Woodward Era" section should be retitled.
- "As per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (headings), please do not link words in headings." Drop the link to Civil War in one heading, and another link in another heading.
Those automated peer review suggestions have been available for a few days. You can go ahead and make changes in the article to address those suggestions and any other suggestions made here, and reply here when those issues are resolved. doncram (talk) 15:37, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Thursday 28 February 2008, 04:13 UTC)
[edit] United Abominations
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I have worked on it the last couple of days and plan to take it to FAC. This is the first album article I have rewritten.
Thanks, —Burningclean [Speak the truth!] 04:29, 5 February 2008 (UTC)
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[edit] Vox Humana 8'
Hiya - found a number of issues of style, spelling and grammar in the article: I have tried to fix all of them. If there's anything obvious I've missed, fix it yourself - if there's anything you disagree with, revert and take it up with me.--Vox Humana 8' 00:08, 11 February 2008 (UTC)
- I would generally agree with J Milburn's comments on the matter. This is a long way off GA, never mind FA. Still, what are we here for? We're here to get it there...--Vox Humana 8' 14:19, 11 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] J Milburn
Not a fan of Megadeth, at all, but happy to go ahead and give a read and a review. Also, I found myself being really picky about phrasing, so I'll just go ahead and change that myself. Article has also been edited by User:Vox Humana 8', who I was talking to while writing this review.
- I'd remove that banner- it's ugly, and honestly don't think it would help improve the article.
- If we can't have a link for the Kerrang! review, can we have a ref?
- "at the time" At what time?
- "When Mustaine was asked in an interview why the lyrics" Interview with who, from where?
- "When Lomenzo was asked" Who's Lomenzo?
- "Big Fish Encinitas, California and Backstage Productions" Where or what is Backstage Productions?
- "The recording line up comprised" Repetition of 'line up' sounds poor.
- "Appearing at track 11, "A Tout le Monde (Set Me Free)" is a remake of "A Tout le Monde" originally appearing on the 1994 album Youthanasia." Sorry, why are we suddenly talking about that?
- Not sure the "Gears of War" stuff belongs in that section...
- "Mustaine stated "We're putting" Where did he state that?
- "The completed album was leaked on to the internet in April 2007" Ref?
- "received its official release on May 14, 2007. The first pressing of the album, released exclusively in Japan on May 8, contained a cover of the Led Zeppelin song "Out on the Tiles".[11] The album was released internationally on May 15 and a day later in the United States." Wow, what? Slow down. Chronological order. It was released in Japan on the 8th, then [where?] on the 14th, then somewhere on 15th ('internationally' isn't fair- you're writing too much from a US perspective- 'internationally', to me, generally means 'in Germany'...) and finally, the US on the 16th. Right?
- "Finland, five in Canada" Can we have links to those countries, please?
- "which will last until March 2008." Is due to- let's not say things are guaranteed to happen.
- "Lacuna Coil, and" Link?
- "prog-worthy chops" Link to progressive metal? I assume that is what is meant? It's late...
- I am really not sure about that Mydenrocks interview- as long as we can be certain that it is genuine, we can reference the comments of Mustaine, but who's this Dave Myden character? Just some dude with a Blogspot account?
This really isn't your best, FA is a long, long way off. It really is lacking something, and I'm not sure what. Or maybe it's just me. Or maybe it's just because it's Megadeth. :) Seriously though, I wouldn't nominate for GA quite yet, nevermind FAC. Have a look around for some more sources, see what else you can find. There must be loads of good sources for something like this. J Milburn (talk) 00:09, 11 February 2008 (UTC)
- This is my first album article, so I don't quite have the hang of it yet. I am not nominating it for anything yet. I will work on this in a little while. —Burningclean [Speak the truth!] 18:09, 11 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] M3tal H3ad
- Don't start the body of the article with a quote, move the unsigned thing before the quote
When Lomenzo was asked about, you need to introduce himShouldnt the picture of Cristina be in the section that talks about her?United Abominations was originally set for an October 2006 releasedate- remove comma after but -Done.
- received its official release on May 14, 2007. The first pressing of the album, released exclusively in Japan on May 8, contained a cover of the Led Zeppelin song "Out on the Tiles".[11] The album was released internationally on May 15 and a day later in the United States. A week after its release
starting in Canada opening for Heaven and Hell and Down, then in the U.S.A.,and a North America tour again opening for Heaven and Hell and also touring with Machine Head.and often stated as a return to form for Megadeth. By who? and it's missing a word after andgave the album a 7.5 out of ten possible points 7.5 out of 10All Music Guide and Blabbermouth shouldnt be in italicsAbout.com reviewer, Chad Bower - it's Chad BowarThe album was voted the best metal album of 2007 in the March 2008 issue of Guitar World. - by the readers of the magazinepointing out false accusations as being such - eh?2008 - lasting - em dashreflist|2
That's about it, good work. M3tal H3ad (talk) 02:26, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Thursday 28 February 2008, 04:18 UTC)
[edit] Enter Sandman
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it's a Good article, which has been reviewed once, failed FAC but was copy-edited since then by User:Malachirality of the League of Copyeditors. The only procedure missing there is proofreading, but it's taking a while for anyone to do that. Anyway, I'm very thankful to Malachirality. So, I think the article is near the FA quality, but I'd like to check any flaws it might have here. My aim is FA, tell me what the article needs to get there and what I can do. Any help appreciated.
Thanks, Serte [ Talk · Contrib ] 02:05, 8 February 2008 (UTC)
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[edit] J Milburn
- "which deal with nightmares." Link to nightmare?
- "in the US" Shouldn't that be U.S.?
- Music sample- instead of ""Enter Sandman"'s original main riff" which looks silly with the apostrophe, why not rephrase to "The original main riff from "Enter Sandman""? Rephrasing it in the 'caption' would also be good.
- "equal-rhythm guitar tracks" Link to rhythm guitar, and is there a link somewhere that could explain what is meant by 'equal'?
- "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep bedtime prayer and afterward reciting a variation of the childs nursery rhyme Hush Little Baby" I think they should both have speech marks (despite the fact the prayer doesn't in its article...) and 'To' shouldn't be capitalised.
- ""Hush little Baby don't say a word, and nevermind that noise you heard. It's just the beasts under your bed, in your closet, in your head"." Why is 'Baby' capitalised, and why is that in italics? It may be meant to be in italics, but what guideline is that based upon?
- "the same riffs of the buildup" Same riffs as the buildup, surely?
- Last paragraph of the section is a little short- could it be merged elsewhere or expanded?
- "a folklore character" how about "a character from European folklore"? Sandman is vague about where he actually comes from, otherwise a more specific link would be better...
- "producer Bob Rock tells Lars Ulrich" Tenses- Bob Rock told Lars...
- "opening track and first single of the album." It looks poor to not end a paragraph with a reference.
- "the song was also nominated"- 'Also' is redundant- you've already said 'in addition to'
- Not sure about the Richard Cheese category- the article isn't about his version of the song...
This article's fantastic, and the prose is brilliant. It will make a great featured article. J Milburn (talk) 13:48, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. I think everything is addressed.
-
- Instead of U.S., it is United States.
- By equal, I meant playing the same thing, the same music, the same riff. Is it more clear now?
- About Sandman's origin, I don't know. Sandman's article is not that good, so I just use the information I've got from Encarta, which has a footnote, but does not mention his origin.
- Yeah, no problem about the lack of details- the article's about the song, not the sandman. However, I would still change it from "The title is a reference to the sandman, a folklore character that makes children sleep." to "The title is a reference to the sandman, a character from western folklore who makes children sleep". J Milburn (talk) 21:23, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
- One question for you: "while the band plays the same riffs as the buildup intro in reverse". By "in reverse", do you understand it is the same riffs played the same way, but the last riff of the buildup intro is played first and the first riff of the buildup intro is played last, right? I'm asking this just to be sure, English is not my native language, so I have some doubts it is clear and if people can make a confusion between reverse and something like backmasking.
- Oh, I didn't actually, I read that as the music being played backwards. Should have realised it wasn't correct, I absolutely love the Apocalyptica cover... You could perhaps rephrase to "while the band plays the same riffs as in the song's buildup, in reverse order." J Milburn (talk) 21:23, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
- So, is it all ok now, for you? Any more suggestions? Thanks a lot.--Serte [ Talk · Contrib ] 17:00, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Thursday 28 February 2008, 04:19 UTC)
[edit] Devourment
This peer review discussion has been closed.
This is an article I started rewriting after seeing it on AfD, but then got sick of it. It had been sat in my userspace for months, and I have only 'completed' it today, and would like advice on how to get it to good article. Specific things I would like advice on- how does the members' list look? Should I include cats to indicate the many formations/breakups, or just leave with the first formation date? Of course, absolutely any comments welcome. Thanks, J Milburn (talk) 00:14, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Burningclean
- Just as a note, I am not sure on this, but I think there is an overuse on commas throughout the article.
- Hmmm, I know I do use a lot of commas, partly because I use a lot of parenthesis- see point 2. However, I didn't properly copyedit the article, as I was keen to get it into the main space last night, and I knew I had to get up for work today... I will give it a copyedit now. J Milburn (talk) 18:43, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
- Done Completed a small copyedit, several commas culled. J Milburn (talk) 18:53, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
- Alright, that looks better. —Burningclean [Speak the truth!] 22:22, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
- Hmmm, I know I do use a lot of commas, partly because I use a lot of parenthesis- see point 2. However, I didn't properly copyedit the article, as I was keen to get it into the main space last night, and I knew I had to get up for work today... I will give it a copyedit now. J Milburn (talk) 18:43, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
- “The band is currently signed to label” add “the” before label
- Do you know what the “other” labels are?
- Are you referring to the infobox, or the lead section? I thought the links with other labels were too small to bother mentioning in either, top be honest. If you look at the discography, you see they are linked with Corpsegristle, United Gutteral, Displeased, Night of the Vinyl Dead and Brutal Bands, as well as self-releasing an album. Not bad considering they only have two LPs... J Milburn (talk) 18:59, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
- Also add Unmatched Brutality to that list, I've found another cite... J Milburn (talk) 19:26, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
- That is fine, I suppose with an obscure band like this it isn't worth mentioning all of the numerous labels anyway. —Burningclean [Speak the truth!] 22:22, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
- Also add Unmatched Brutality to that list, I've found another cite... J Milburn (talk) 19:26, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
- Are you referring to the infobox, or the lead section? I thought the links with other labels were too small to bother mentioning in either, top be honest. If you look at the discography, you see they are linked with Corpsegristle, United Gutteral, Displeased, Night of the Vinyl Dead and Brutal Bands, as well as self-releasing an album. Not bad considering they only have two LPs... J Milburn (talk) 18:59, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
- “The third reformation years saw two rereleases of 1.3.8,” The word “years” looks kind of funny there.
- In the info box, instead of using commas for the current members, could you use line breaks? I’d say you could leave the former members alone due to there being so many.
- “Henry had formed his own band- Dead Industry” Instead of the little dash, maby use a comma or —
- Done Fixed throughout the article, that's something I have never got into the habit of. J Milburn (talk) 19:15, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
- Crap, I'm sorry, I should have clarified. In the members and discography sections it should actually be – —Burningclean [Speak the truth!] 22:22, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
- The same goes for “band then put out their first promo, featuring two songs- "Shroud of Encryption" and "Festering Vomitous Mass",”
- “The band had a release show for the album at Colarado.” ‘’in’’ Colorado (I lived there :P)
- I think the Members section needs some cleanup. I think you should use the same format most band articles are like, despite how many lineups there were. Maby even make a template like Template:Opeth timeline.
- Do they have any external links? (Official, Myspace, etc.)
- Done J Milburn (talk) 19:15, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
- Groovy. —Burningclean [Speak the truth!] 22:22, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
- It isn’t needed but a band template would be nice to have in related articles.
- One thing I forgot, are there any images available for the band. Images are a pain in the arsenal, however it is one of the GA criteria. —Burningclean [Speak the truth!] 22:22, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
I’m not the best at reviewing articles, but I think I covered the obvious points. Thank you for asking me to review by the way. Cheers, —Burningclean [Speak the truth!] 00:48, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] LuciferMorgan
Comments;
- "Majewski had previously worked publicizing the band and providing artwork, and had first seen them when their only song was "Shroud of Encryption", having been introduced to the band by his friend 'Hound'.[7]" - Sentence is somewhat awkward, and possibly needs splitting into two.
LuciferMorgan (talk) 10:55, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
- "Devourment also released their second DVD in January 2007.[26]" - Does this DVD have a name, and have any outlets reviewed it? LuciferMorgan (talk) 10:55, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
- "Criticism of the album included that it was too repetitive.[20]" - Who, writing for which publication, expressed this opinion? LuciferMorgan (talk) 10:55, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
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[edit] M3tal H3ad
- United Gutteral, Corpsegristle Records and others - "and others" is vague
- the band released a demo - has released?
- "got together" don't like the use of the word "got"
- Should there be spaces after em dash? i thought it was like—this
- then put out their first promo - put out-> released?
- having been introduced to the band by his friend "Hound", relevant?
- The band
thenrecorded - n 2006, the band a two album - signed a two
- with bassist new Chris Andrews - new bassist
- Despite no longer being with the Devourment - "the devourment"?
- They have also - also is redundant
- The band members list is confusing, can it be transferred to a seperate article and just consist of the current lineup, or would it likely be deleted?
- That's honestly not a bad idea- the sourcing would be a bitch, though. Hmmm, actually, now I think about it, maybe it wouldn't, I could probably source the whole thing to the official site... It's relevent information about a notable band (not cruft) so, if it gets too unwieldy in the main article, it can be split away. I'll add that to my list of ideas. J Milburn (talk) 11:39, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
- Right, split it out into its own article, Devourment band members, as well as creating a template and sticking it at the bottom of the various pages. J Milburn (talk) 13:12, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
- That's honestly not a bad idea- the sourcing would be a bitch, though. Hmmm, actually, now I think about it, maybe it wouldn't, I could probably source the whole thing to the official site... It's relevent information about a notable band (not cruft) so, if it gets too unwieldy in the main article, it can be split away. I'll add that to my list of ideas. J Milburn (talk) 11:39, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
- Watch out for overlinking Blabbermouth.net in the references.
That's about all, good job. M3tal H3ad (talk) 02:13, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
- From the instructions: "Please do not include any images, such as done/not done templates with tick/cross graphics" Ruhrfisch ><>°° 02:06, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Thursday 28 February 2008, 04:20 UTC)
[edit] Cello
This peer review discussion has been closed.
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A few minor quibbles from someone not very familar with the instrument:
- Boxwood is a disambiguation page, which specific wood does the article refer to?
- Schoenberg, another disambiguation page
- "An average cello bow is 73 cm long (shorter than a violin or viola bow) 3 cm high (from the frog to the stick)" The definition of "frog" should be here (currently it is explained in a later paragraph)
- There are no references past the "Development" section; this is one thing that definately needs fixing before a Featured Article Nomination.
That is all, good article! -RunningOnBrains 18:54, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Thursday 28 February 2008, 21:02 UTC)
[edit] Heroes (TV series)
This peer review discussion has been closed.
Introduction and Welcome I am requesting that this article be peer reviewed. I has gone through so much progress since its last review and looks totally different than it did when it was first reviewed. I also hope to get a larger number of editors to review the page, as only two editors reviewed the page the first time it was reviewed last year. I acknowledge that the reflist needs major major clean up to meet Wikipedia standards...but I and I am sure the other project members would love to know what other improvements we can all make to this page to get it to featured article status. Please review this article entirely and if you have time, take a look at the subpages and other Heroes related pages located in the template at the bottom of the article. Please help us improve this article! Your thoughts matter! (smile)--Chrisisinchrist (talk) 05:26, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
- Note: Because of its length, this peer review is not transcluded. It is still open and located at Wikipedia:Peer review/Heroes (TV series)/archive2.
(Peer review added on Thursday 28 February 2008, 21:50 UTC)
[edit] History of York City F.C.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I'm looking to see how this article could be further improved. The main problem is the prose which could use a good cleaning up, and so I have added it to the requests at WP:LOCE, but I'd like to get suggestions from the wider community. The ultimate goal is WP:FA, which will help contribute to York City F.C.'s push to WP:FT. Thanks, Mattythewhite (talk) 16:21, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Friday 29 February 2008, 02:47 UTC)
[edit] Tax protester constitutional arguments
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review as the next step before submitting the article for FA status. Thanks, Morphh (talk) 19:11, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
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- Can't find the automated review... left message on talk page. Morphh (talk) 23:42, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 29 February 2008, 02:48 UTC)
[edit] Duncan Edwards
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I only initially began work on this article because I happened to be in Dudley and decided to kill some time photographing places associated with the player, but now that I've spent some time on it I reckon its close to FA status. I modelled it mainly on the existing FA on Gilberto Silva, but would appreciate comments on what I might still need to work on............ ChrisTheDude (talk) 19:01, 25 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)
As ever, a lovely bit of work. To my comments...
- I noticed when I checked the references you use englandstats.com. Is there any reason why you couldn't use the FA's official website? I seem to recall they have a page for every match including, as a minimum, the line-ups of each team...
- done
- "to 31 Elm Road " - little bit too trivial for me, actual street addresses...
- done
- "and was also on the school's morris dancing team." - could be confusing a degree, you've mentioned his own school and the Dudley schools team. Perhaps "he also represented his school..."? Not a big deal. Actually, having said all that, is his morris dancing a big deal or, again, is it a little trivial? Did he have a big decision to make - "Manchester United or Morris Dancing?"?
- done, but see below for further comment......
- added a bit about the "morris v football" dilemma, and even managed to work in a link to ESFA as well :-)
- done, but see below for further comment......
- Any way of linking into English Schools Football Association? Just a suggestion really, no big deal.
- The problem there is that the ESFA page doesn't even mention the national schools XI. I suppose I could re-word the relevant sentence to something like "the national schools team organised by ESFA", but that sounds really clunky to me......
- Yeah, no problem. The Rambling Man (talk) 11:21, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
- The problem there is that the ESFA page doesn't even mention the national schools XI. I suppose I could re-word the relevant sentence to something like "the national schools team organised by ESFA", but that sounds really clunky to me......
- "Edwards began his Manchester United career in the youth team and was amongst the team that won the first ever FA Youth Cup final in 1953,[19] but on April 4, 1953, shortly before the final, he made his first team debut in a Football League First Division match against Cardiff City, which United lost 4–1.[20] " - too much. Split, somehow! Perhaps it's a "first ever FA Youth Cup final in 1953 despite already making his first team debut earlier in the year. Playing Cardiff in the ..."? I don't know. Could you merge the second sentence with the "Aged just 16 years and 185 days, he was the youngest player ever to play in the top division.[21] " sentence which is split from this lot? It just reads a little too heavily for me right now.
- done
- "ageing nature of his team" - I know exactly what you mean but all teams have an ageing nature! Rephrase I think.
- done
- "to the Continent " a little colloquial.., perhaps mainland Europe?
- done
- "made 7 appearances " - you know what I'm going to say? seven
- done
- "which included a 10–0 win over Anderlecht which remains " - "including a 10–0 win over Anderlecht which remains..." - removes one which.
- done
- "captain. [45][46]" - space before citations must go.
- done
- Full stops in captions that are not fragments.
- done
- "Both Edwards' parents outlived him, his father dying on June 27, 1978 at the age of 70 and his mother on April 15, 2003 at the age of 93.[63]" not 100% convinced of the relevance really. Most people who die young are outlived by their parents?
- done, binned it
- Ooh, those tables are pretty grim (the style, not the content). Have a look at James Milner - his article has nicey tables.
- done
- "Outside football Edwards was a teetotaller " - read funny to me, so inside football he may not have been?! I'd start with "Edwards was a teetotaller and outside football he was....".
- done
Excellent stuff. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Let me know when you're at FAC! The Rambling Man (talk) 10:57, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
- Cheers for the comments, I'll get onto them ASAP. On the morris dancing point, apparently he did have to choose between representing his school/county/can't remember at the national championships and attending his trial for the England schools football team, so yes there was a bit of dilemma there which could be said to be relevant to his career. I'll emphasise that in the article when I'm at home as I can then cite the page in the book ChrisTheDude (talk) 13:13, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
- definitely all done now! ChrisTheDude (talk) 20:29, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
- Cool. I'm certain this will be an interesting FAC. While I'm sure (right now) it'll make it, I'm certain the Man Utd experts may have plenty to offer. As far as I'm concerned, as a neutral (but interested one, at that), it's a quality article. Great, great work. The Rambling Man (talk) 20:35, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
- Yup, neutral but interested pretty much sums up my take on the subject. As mentioned above, I literally only began working on this article because I'd taken the photos whilst killing some time in Dudley..... :-) ChrisTheDude (talk) 20:41, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
- Well perhaps you should spend some disinterested time in a number of other places! I'm not massaging your ego any more. This is a nice bit of work and I'm already looking forward to your next opus. The Rambling Man (talk) 20:44, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
- Yup, neutral but interested pretty much sums up my take on the subject. As mentioned above, I literally only began working on this article because I'd taken the photos whilst killing some time in Dudley..... :-) ChrisTheDude (talk) 20:41, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
- Cool. I'm certain this will be an interesting FAC. While I'm sure (right now) it'll make it, I'm certain the Man Utd experts may have plenty to offer. As far as I'm concerned, as a neutral (but interested one, at that), it's a quality article. Great, great work. The Rambling Man (talk) 20:35, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from Struway2 (talk · contribs)
Very quick technical ones.
- Spelling of sister's name is inconsistent (Carol/Carole).
- done - think I must have been thinking of my mother-in-law when I typed "Carole", as that's her name......
- You may want to have a quick look at WP:MOS#Images. Images in portrait format should have the 'upright' parameter, and you need a good reason for specifying a width where the 'thumb' parameter is present.
- done - goes to show you're never too experienced to learn things you never realised about WP :-)
- Caption of book cover image shouldn't have full stop as it isn't a complete sentence.
- done
- Would the reflist look better in two columns?
- done
Interesting article, though I do find rows of footnote numbers detract from readability (this isn't a criticism of your article, it's a general whinge about all well-referenced articles; I understand perfectly well the need for loads of footnotes, I just wish the superscript numbers weren't so intrusive) cheers, Struway2 (talk) 10:41, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for your comments! ChrisTheDude (talk) 10:58, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 29 February 2008, 21:19 UTC)
[edit] Rise of Nations: Thrones and Patriots
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I have been improving this article, but can't seem to find any more ways to improve this article on my own. I would like to know more ways how I or others could improve this article to make it better.
Thanks, Hello32020 (talk) 15:27, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
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- All problems listed there have been fixed. Hello32020 (talk) 13:01, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
- All problems listed there have been fixed. Hello32020 (talk) 13:01, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 29 February 2008, 22:00 UTC)
[edit] Huldrych Zwingli
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I am requesting a peer review before taking the article to WP:FAC. OK, reading a long article on a sixteenth century theologian might sound pretty dull. But then maybe this article might convince you otherwise. If not, then at least tell me why!
Thanks, RelHistBuff (talk) 17:47, 6 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Semi-automated review
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[edit] John Carter
- Lead might be a bit long, particularly the first paragraph's content regarding the subject's academic career, unless there's evidence that he is in some way notable for his academic career, which doesn't seem indicated. It would probably help if you indicated Wildhaus was in Switzerland. Not sure if Henry Wolfllin really merits being included by name, as there seems no content on him at present. Linking citations directly to content being sourced, rataher than always at the end of the paragraph, might help as well. For FAs, it generally helps to have at least two reference citationss per paragraph, by the way. Might bear some pruning in some sections, but I'm not knowledgable enough about the subject one way or another to be sure of that. John Carter (talk) 22:36, 17 February 2008 (UTC)
-
- Thanks for your comments. I reduced the lead section. The universities are mentioned because they were centres of particular types of studies (humanism in Basel for example) and scholars mention these centres as early influences on Zwingli. I debated about giving out the names of Wölfllin and Bünzli, but since both Gäbler and Potter named them, I thought that wouldn't do much harm. As you noticed, each paragraph has a cite because each are summaries of several pages of text from the sources. When there are two cites to a paragraph, it means the two sources gave the same content. Sometimes there are statements that came from only one source. In that case I added a cite on the sentence. If there are specific statements that ought to be cited individually, then please point them out and I will add the cites. As for pruning, the article is not overly long compared to other FAs, but perhaps "Early years" and "Music" are candidates for some editing. --RelHistBuff (talk) 10:41, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Yannismarou
- "Although his name is practically forgotten". What do you mean by that? He is well-known. Do you mean that there are not as many followers of his religious views nowadays as Lutheranists and Calvinists.
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- The clause is taken straight out of Gäbler. I believe his statement referred to the fact that the average person who worships in a Christian church (whether Catholic, Lutheran, Reformed, etc.) would instantly recognise the names of "Luther" and "Calvin". But "Zwingli" would often draw up a question mark. Concerning his "followers", the legacy section gives some explanations. To explain, you may notice that there are "Lutheran" churches, but no "Calvinist" churches. Those who follow Calvinism are called Reformed churches and they trace their heritage to several sources. Zwingli is considered to be the pioneer. However his impact on the church order, confession, liturgy, and theology comes largely through Bullinger and Calvin. But Zwingli's name is largely forgotten, which is unfortunate! There is a nice, complete explanation on the Reformed Church of Zürich's website (unfortunately in German only, under Zwinglis heutige Bedeutung) --RelHistBuff (talk) 07:55, 19 February 2008 (UTC)
- "He perfected his Greek and took up the study of Hebrew. He read widely from classical, patristic, and scholastic sources. He exchanged scholarly letters among a circle of Swiss humanists. He studied the writings" I don't like that much the prose here. A bit choppy and no variety of expressions.
- Similar comments here: "He specifically rejected the veneration of saints and called for the need to distinguish between their true and fictional accounts. He casted doubts on hellfire and asserted that unbaptised children were not damned. He questioned the power of excommunication. He attacked the claim that tithing was a divine institution."
- "his was nearly two years after Martin Luther published his Ninety-five theses. The council of Zürich refused Sanson entry into the city. The authorities in Rome were anxious to contain the fire started by Luther. The Bishop of Constance denied any support of Sanson and he was recalled." Again a bit choppy IMO.
- Some of your captions could be a bit more informative. E.g. in the photo of "First rifts (1522-1524)". How old is he here? Who pictured him?
- Again:"Luther and Philipp Melanchthon arrived shortly thereafter. Other theologians also participated. The debates were held from 1-3 October.".
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- Many thanks for your comments. I will work on these. I really appreciate more criticism on the prose (as you can see in my introduction above)! --RelHistBuff (talk) 08:02, 19 February 2008 (UTC)
- I think I have taken care of all five items now. --RelHistBuff (talk) 15:51, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- I don't know if you need the "See also" section. Some if these links could be within the text. E.g. zwinglianism.
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- I hesitate wikilinking Zwinglianism. As stated in the legacy section, there is no agreed definition of "Zwinglianism". It was someone else who put a redirect of Zwinglianism to Theology of Huldrych Zwingli. The Theology article and an article on Zwinglianism are really not the same! I much prefer using "Theology of Huldrych Zwingli" because it makes no claim what is "Zwinglianism", but simply describes his theology. --RelHistBuff (talk) 08:50, 19 February 2008 (UTC)
- "Although his name is practically forgotten, Zwingli's legacy lives on in the basic confessions of the Reformed churches of today.[62] He can rightfully be called, after Luther and Calvin, the "Third Man of the Reformation." Besides my question on the substance above, this is exactly the same wording you use in the lead. Not a nice repetition.
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- Changed the lead now. It was a bit of laziness on my part as I hurriedly wrote the lead after working on the article. --RelHistBuff (talk) 08:15, 19 February 2008 (UTC)
In general, a very nice article.--Yannismarou (talk) 18:45, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks! If you see more bad prose, please don't hesitate to comment! --RelHistBuff (talk) 08:57, 19 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Roger Davies
- Overall.
- Very comprehensive article, I thought.
- It would be good to see more material characterising Zwingli, to help bring him to life. We learn from the article that he was enjoyed music and was popular with children. Is there more on this? Did he have a sense of humour? A temper?
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- I added some details in the Legacy section --RelHistBuff (talk) 14:05, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
- Citations: I'm not sure about citing at the end of paragraphs. With so much material covered in a paragraph, it's unclear what is referenced to whom. I'd prefer to see more citations at sentence end.
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- I will add cites as I add content and if there are any controversial statements I will also add cites to the sentences. --RelHistBuff (talk) 08:08, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
- About content
- Wasn't Zwingli père the village magistrate?
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- Yes, he was. I will add that fact. --RelHistBuff (talk) 08:08, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
- Zwingli placed himself solidly on the side of the Roman See. Perhaps expand to include his early attacks on the moral corruption of the clergy. These, I think, touched popular concerns and the pope - playig to the gallery - responded with promotion.
- In return, Pope Julius II honoured Zwingli by providing him an annual pension. I thought Julius appointed him as a papal chaplain with an annual papal stipend. If so, this could explained and run on the following sentence.
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- I looked up the sources and there are two events. While Zwingli was in Glarus (before Julius II died in 1513), the pope gave him an annual pension of 50 gulden for his support, i.e., Zwingli supported sending mercenary troops from Glarus to Julius II, so in effect he was part of the pension system that he would eventually disown. Zwingli was also appointed papal chaplain, but that was in 1518 when he was in Einsiedeln, Schwyz. The office was assigned ritual duties, but only if he was in Rome, which Zwingli never was. --RelHistBuff (talk) 18:31, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
- Zwingli found himself in a difficult position. Perhaps explain what this was?
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- I put in "papal partisan" to describe Zwingli. Basically, it was the shift from the pope to France that forced Zwingli to leave. I hope it is clear now. --RelHistBuff (talk) 09:57, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
- he began to exegete the Gospel of Matthew, reading through the book serially. Perhaps a more accessible explanation? Exegete > appraise? What does "serially" mean in this context?
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- Fixed. --RelHistBuff (talk) 16:27, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
- Perhaps mention the death of his brother (1520?) I thought this, along with the plague, were spiritually (re)defining moments?
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- The death of Andreas Zwingli by the plague is mentioned in the sources (Gäbler said that he died in Glarus). Gäbler mentioned it in an earlier chapter, separate from describing the Zürich outbreak and the Pestlied, so it is somewhat hard to link the two events as a defining moment. --RelHistBuff (talk) 10:14, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
- Wasn't Zwingli given favoured status to preach the "true scriptures" in Zurich at about this time?
- I thought the connections between the reformation with social reform and redistribution of resources were very helpful to contextualise the Reformation, especially as it is often discussed in isolation. Perhaps more material to remind us of the socio-economic context: increasing
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- Another reviewer had mentioned about providing a context section. I am preparing one now. There were a lot of political issues running in the background as well. --RelHistBuff (talk) 08:12, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
- Added new context section. Hopefully it helps the reader to see the whole picture. --RelHistBuff (talk) 08:13, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
- Added a sentence with a cite about his concerns for the poor in the legacy section. --RelHistBuff (talk) 14:11, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
- The theology section struck me as choppy.
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- Yes, it was only recently put together. Will improve this. --RelHistBuff (talk) 08:08, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
Very promising article. Well done, --ROGER DAVIES talk 07:15, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks a lot for your comments! I will respond to each item as I get through them. --RelHistBuff (talk) 08:08, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Friday 29 February 2008, 23:22 UTC)
[edit] Anfield
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I believe this article is capable of reaching FA status. It is also part of my drive to get Liverpool F.C. to Featured Topic status. The article is based on the structure of existing Featured Articles such as Priestfield Stadium and Portman Road. Thanks in advance, as always, for your time and comments. NapHit (talk) 21:03, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)
Hello NapHit, here you go...
- "...formation in 1892 and was also the home of Everton F.C. until 1892." reads oddly. Did Liverpool therefore "evict" Everton or did they share?
- "internationals matches at senior level" - one too many s's? And you could probably link (somehow) to may the England national team?
- "There are plans to replace Anfield with a new stadium in Stanley Park. It will hold an extra 25,000 fans and is scheduled to open in 2011." - would merge these to make lead a little less choppy.
- "John Houlding" - not clear what his relevance is?
- " Liverpool Association Football Club" - why in bold? The article is not about Liverpool F.C....
- Wikilink gable.
- "second League Championship in 1906" - consider linking the year to a relevant football season article?
- Spion Kop - is there a suitable link about the Boer war hill?
- "huge roof" - bit POV.
- A number of sentences which are split by a comma e.g. "In 1957 floodlights were installed and on October 30, 1957, they were switched on for the first time ..." - where I'd either use a semi-colon or an "and" rather than a comma to separate.
- Link Shankly (or explain the gates were named after him, or both!).
- "Lennart Johansson" - explain his significance.
- "RFID" - expand on its first use... I had no idea!
- "The Kop takes its name from a landmark hill in the township of Natal, South Africa. The stand was originally built in 1906 as an uncovered terrace capable of holding 30,000 people, a large roof was added in 1928." - feels a little too repetitive from the history section.
- Bold Anfield in Future section - why?
- Other uses - four "however..." sentences in quick succession reads awkwardly.
- "ans during the inter-war" - typo.
- " city ad finishing " - ditto.
- Consider an average attendance graph.
- Five external links feels a bit too much. Stick with official and that's about it...
That's it for now. Good luck! The Rambling Man (talk) 16:44, 20 February 2008 (UTC}
- Dealt with all comments, except graph which I will produce soon hopefully if I can find some way of producing one NapHit (talk) 18:48, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
- From the directions: "Please do not include any images, such as done/not done templates with tick/cross graphics..." Ruhrfisch ><>°° 01:54, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 02:18, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Comments from ChrisTheDude (talk · contribs)
Looks good, here's some minor points that need looking at:
- "was the home of Everton F.C. until 1892, after they left following a rent dispute" - should be when they left....
- "hosted numerous international matches at senior level, with the last being" - reads like there will never be another such match at the stadium, which while quite likely is not confirmed, so maybe consider changing to "the most recent"
- "The record attendance is 61,905 was set in...." - grammatically incorrect
- "Each of its four stands have...." - should be "Each of its four stands has" as "each" is the subject and is singular
- "There are plans to replace Anfield with a new stadium in Stanley Park, it will hold ....." - should be which will hold.....
- "first League match at Anfield was played on 9 September 1893 against Lincoln City, Liverpool won 4–0 in front of 5,000 spectators", either change "Liverpool won" to "Liverpool winning" or make it a new sentence
- "was similar to the main stand at Newcastle United's ground St James' Park, the stand proved to be a landmark in English football" - as per the last comment
- "It was the largest Kop in the country" - maybe clarify prior to this sentence that other grounds also have/had stands with Kop in the name, otherwise it sounds like it was the largest out of a field of one
- "floodlights were installed and on 30 October 1957; they were switched on" - no reason for a semi-colon there
- "Shankly's wife Nessie" - as Shanks was dead by this point she was technically his widow, not his wife
- "The Anfield Road stand, is use to house" - no need for a comma there, and it should be "used" not "use"
- "the stand was once a simple low-lung stand" - is "low lung" a genuine architectural term (could be for all I know), or is it a typo?
- The opening of the new stand by the Duke of Kent is mentioned in two separate places in almost identical terms, it really doesn't need to be in twice
- "In 1921 Wolverhampton Wanderers and Cardiff City met in front of the King and Queen" - add wikilinks to indicate which King and Queen this was
- "Wolverhampton won the replay, though Wolverhampton lost the final" - apart from the fact that Wolverhampton should not be used twice in such quick succession, the fact that they lost the final is irrelevant to an article on Anfield
- "they went onto win the final, becoming the first club to win a semi-final at Anfield and go onto win the FA Cup" - both uses of "onto" should actually be "on to"
- "The last international to be hosted at Anfield, was England's 2–1 victory" - no reason for comma after Anfield
- "Liverpool did not lose a league match during the 1893–94, 1970–71, 1976–77, 1978–79, 1979–80 and 1987–88 seasons." - I think the words "home" or "at Anfield" are missing from this sentence
I know this seems like a lot, but they're all minor points which should be easily corrected. Other than that the article looks excellent, best of luck with it..... ChrisTheDude (talk) 14:14, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Saturday 1 March 2008, 21:10 UTC)
[edit] A Magical Christmas of Magic with Harry and the Potters and Wizardly Friends and Magical Singing Creatures
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I request information on how I can expand this article. I have submitted article for a peer review previously, however I believe it was not enough. Thanks --Hpfan9374 (talk) 08:32, 6 February 2008 (UTC)
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(Peer review added on Monday 17 March 2008, 10:17 UTC)
[edit] List of participating nations at the Summer Olympic Games
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like feedback on whether or not it satisfies Wikipedia:Featured list criteria before I nominate it. Currently, it is missing images, and I am looking to address that, but I wish to see any additional feedback. Thanks, — Andrwsc (talk · contribs) 17:43, 11 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 05:33, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Monday 17 March 2008, 10:17 UTC)
[edit] List of participating nations at the Winter Olympic Games
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like feedback on whether or not it satisfies Wikipedia:Featured list criteria before I nominate it. Currently, it is missing images, and I am looking to address that, but I wish to see any additional feedback. Thanks, — Andrwsc (talk · contribs) 17:45, 11 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 05:33, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
(Peer review added on Monday 17 March 2008, 10:17 UTC)
