Wikipedia:Peer review/Backlash (2003)/archive1

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Backlash (2003)

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• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for May 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to promote it to GA and hopefully FA.

Thanks, ~SRS~ 23:19, 1 May 2008 (UTC)

I'll try to look it over more later on, but the things I notice are there need to be pictures added, and the event section needs copy-editing. iMatthew 2008 23:46, 1 May 2008 (UTC)

• Pictures are added
• Copy-editing will be done later.

--~SRS~ 00:11, 2 May 2008 (UTC)

• Lead

• What's the differece between a "predominant match" and a "featured match"? -- The predominant match on the undercard and in the next sentence The featured match on the undercard.

I reworded that, the featured match is first, and "pre"dominant match follows that.

• Background

• Wikilink full dates throughout the background.
• In the final paragraph of the lead, "feud" is used to often, it seems a little repetitive to me.
• In the second paragraph of the Backgrpund, wikilink "SmackDown!".
• Also, in the third paragraph, you have both "tag team match" and "Tag team match" - the capitalisation needs to be consistent.
• Again in the third paragraph, "who was sidelined with an injury" should be "who had been sidelined with an injury".
• The last sentence in the third paragraph is awkwardly worded.
• In the final paragraph, "he Big Show presented frustration towards Mysterio" needs to be reworded.

I dont see what you mean here, the sentence reads "The Big Show presented frustration towards Mysterio", so whats wrong?--~SRS~ 16:29, 3 May 2008 (UTC)

To me, it sounds awkward it could be just me, though. Perhaps reword it to "The Big Show was frustrated with Mysterio". ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 16:32, 3 May 2008 (UTC)

Fixed.--~SRS~ 16:36, 3 May 2008 (UTC)

• "the Big Show" needs to be changed to "The Big Show" to be consisent with the rest of the paragraph.
• "Mysterio came down to the ring and distracted The Big Show, as he chased Mysterio at ringside" also needs to be reworded.

• Event

• First paragraph - put referecnes in numerical order. [7][4] -> [4][7]
• First paragraph - "brawled onto ringside" doesn't make sense.
• First paragraph - "Team Angle retaining" needs to be changed to past tense.
• Second paragraph - put references in numerical order. [7][6] -> [6][7]
• Second paragrpah - be consistent with the use of "Bubba Ray", don't change to "Bubba" suddenly.
• Third paragraph - "to wrestler" should be "to wrestle".
• Third paragrpah - "Both women wrestle" - change to past tense.
• Third paragraph - "similarly to" should be "similar to"
• Fourth paragrpah - "The situation allowed Lesnar to perform the F-5 on Cena, therefore Lensar retained the WWE Championship" - needs to say Cena was pinned.
• Fifth paragraph - "attacked all three tag team oppositions" - doesn't make sense.
• Sixth paragraph - "avoiding to wrestle him" - reword, perhaps, "to avoid wrestling him".
• Sixth paragraph - "The Rock proceeded into taking advantage" - wordiness.

• Aftermath

• First paragraph - Why aren't "The Rock" and "Goldberg" wikilinked when all the other names are?
• Second paragraph - "which proceeded into" seems awkwardly worded as well. Perhaps "which led to"?
• Third paragraph - "reigning champions" - should be singular "champion".
• Third paragraph - "April 29, 2003" uses the same references that "April 28, 2003" used in the first paragraph, so I assume it was the same night. Which of the dates is wrong?
• Third paragraph - "and throwing it into" - change to past tense.
• Third paragraph - "Steve Austin" should just be "Austin" I believe.

-- ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 15:55, 3 May 2008 (UTC)

Looks good. Nice job. ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 16:37, 3 May 2008 (UTC)

Thanks Nici =)--~SRS~ 16:42, 3 May 2008 (UTC)

Per the request on my talk page, I am pleased to see the friendly and good work that went into this article and on this page. Well done! One thing that strikes me as somewhat odd/inconsistent, which may be minor, but it concerns the first word in the article, is that while Raw is italicized in the article Backlash is not. As they are both titles of television programs that could also appear on DVD, shouldn't both names be italicized? Best, --Le Grand Roi des Citrouilles^Tally-ho! 07:17, 5 May 2008 (UTC)

Backlash is the name of the pay-per-view event, and per regulations at WT:PW, pay per views are not italicised, but the name of TV shows is, like Raw, and SmackDown!.~SRS~ 14:21, 5 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Comments from Nikki

• During the segment, The Rock discussed about what WWE superstar would challenge him to a wrestling match next, which resulted in Goldberg making his WWE debut, as he came down to the ring and stated that he would be The Rock's next challenge. - this sentence is long and awkward
• I would explain about Gillberg. His entire gimmick was to parody Goldberg.
• "Six-man Tag team match" - should be lower case
• After the promo, Jericho wrestled Booker T, where Booker T won the match via disqualification, as a result of Flair interfering in the match and attacking Booker T; an attack motivated by their earlier confrontation. - long and awkward
• "Tag team match" - should be lowercase
• Moves that aren't proper names should be lowercase. For example: chokeslam, leapfrog stun gun, suplex, frog splash, etc.
• "in a Indian deathlock" --> "in an Indian deathlock"
• "The second match into the event was" - huh? can a match be "into" an event?
• Spinbuster is spelled "spinebuster"
• I would make it clear that Stratus' injury was not real...unless, of course, it was real.
• Early into the match, The Rock taunted Goldberg at ringside, to avoid wrestling him, however, as he returned into the ring, Goldberg performed the Rock Bottom, The Rock's signature maneuver, on him, gaining the early advantage. - this should be two sentences. Don't connect two independent clause with "however"...it makes a run-on sentence
• "People's elbow" is a proper move name, so it should be capitalized --> People's Elbow
• There should be consistent linking of The Big Show (as opposed to The Big Show)
• "April 28, 2003" --> April 28, 2003 - if you are going to link dates, be consistent
• w/ --> with
• references should be in two columns, so they are easier to read
• There's an "External links" header, but no external links are listed.
• I don't see the point of the see also section, as Backlash is linked in the article and template at the bottom.
• None of the picture captions should have periods, as none of them are complete sentences.

Hope that helps. Let me know when the peer review is over, and I'll copy edit the article for you. Nikki311 01:11, 16 May 2008 (UTC)

Thank you so much Nikki, I will notify you once It gets archived.

SRX 01:42, 16 May 2008 (UTC)