User talk:Nraden/WP re-write

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[edit] Discussion of Article Re-write

[edit] Suggestions from SandyGeorgia

The Wiley Protocol is one of a number of controversial bioidentical hormone replacement therapies (BHRT).[citation needed]

  • What is the source for this; i.e. what are the other controversial BHRTs?

The recreation of a pre-menopausal woman's monthly hormonal cycle is achieved by using rhythmic doses of hormones that replicate the rise and fall of hormones in a normal menstrual cycle.

  • Wiley says the recreation of a ...

The preparations are prescribed by physicians and are compounded by pharmacists selected by Wiley who agree to conform to strict rules of preparation and purity.[citation needed]

  • Citation needed for "selected by Wiley" and "strict rules of preparation and purity". If the citation is Wiley herself, sentence must be attributed as such.

The Wiley Protocol uses biomimedic hormones ...

  • biomimedic ?? Link, definition? Also, that sentence isn't cited, and if the source is Wiley, it needs attribution. We need to know according to whom in many of these statements.

Doses of the hormones vary throughout a 28-day cycle that is designed to mimic the hormone levels and changes of a young woman who experiences regular menstruation, with each hormone cycling and peaking at separate times throughout the period.[2]

  • Same, the source of this statement is Wiley, so it needs to be attributed accordingly. (According to Wiley, or Wiley says, or some form of attribution.)

The protocol differs from conventional hormone replacement therapy in several ways:

  • Everything which follows here is sourced to Wiley; are there no independent, secondary reliable sources? Again, needs to say "According to Wiley" or somehow be attributed. Also, clean up the list formatting (no caps at the beginning of each bullet item, and punctuation at the end of the whole thing).

All BHRT has been criticized by members of the medical community for lacking proof and not being empirically verified as safe or effective,[citation needed]

  • Uncited; the idea of this sentence is to put them all on equal footing, we need to hear that from an independent, reliable source.

Other than her book, Ageless, Somers has not acted as a spokesperson for the protocol and was not involved in the development of the Wiley Protocol or its ongoing development.[citation needed]

  • Uncited, for all we know, original research. Why does Wiley Protocol say, "Somers is acting as a spokesperson for the protocol and was not involved in the development of the Wiley Protocol or its ongoing development."

SandyGeorgia (Talk) 02:00, 27 February 2008 (UTC)

Thanks, I'll go to work on it. Neil Raden (talk) 04:23, 27 February 2008 (UTC)