Nobody Likes Onions

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Nobody Likes Onions
Hosting Patrick, Johnny B, Chef
Updates Three times per week
Debut June 1, 2005
Genre Comedy, Talk
Website http://www.nobodylikesonions.com

Nobody Likes Onions (commonly abbreviated to NLO) is an American Internet radio show created and hosted by stand-up comedian Patrick Melton. The hosts address humorous events in their lives, and they also satirize current events, pop culture, other podcasts and even the show's fans. NLO's tagline is "It's like taking a cold shower in sarcasm."

NLO broadcasts live shows online at various dates and times. Episodes of the podcast, which include both recordings of live shows as well as pre-recorded podcast-specific shows, are released approximately three times a week. The show is consistently ranked as one of the highest rated shows on Podcast Alley. The show was nominated for two Podcast Awards in both 2006 and 2007 (Best Produced and Best Comedy in 2006 / People's Choice and Best Comedy in 2007), and won the Best Comedy Award in 2007[1]. NLO has also been featured on SIRIUS Satellite Radio.

Contents

[edit] The Program Name

The name "Nobody Likes Onions" came from the name used by Patrick and fellow comedian Landon Lyon for a satirical website. The name was a combination of "Nobody Likes Me," Patrick's forum site for comedians (which was originally set up as a dating site), and an allusion to The Onion. Although the site never developed as planned, Patrick decided to make use of the underutilized domain name, applying it to what is now the show. Patrick commented in an early show that he would, at some point, probably change the show name. Patrick mentioned the show name again during episode 193, he explained how he was seriously considering changing it.

[edit] Hosts

Although the format of NLO is often changing, there are three primary hosts in the show's present incarnation.

[edit] Patrick

Patrick is the creator and host of Nobody Likes Onions. In addition to acting as moderator of the show, Patrick handles most of the production of NLO as well. A prominent stand-up comedian, Patrick applies his philosophy about comedy to the show on a regular basis - in humor, nothing is off limits.

Patrick is best known for controlling the mood and direction of each show. His quick wit, acerbic views on society in general, and sometimes low tolerance for stupidity in others make for an entertaining show. Patrick often appears on the show as characters, sometimes planned and sometimes improvised, which are met by the fans with differing reactions. While normally providing a humorous commentary on his life or surroundings, Patrick occasionally will behave outwardly silly, making absurd or nonsensical statements in annoying or ridiculous voices, which, when countered by the serious demeanors of other hosts can be quite funny.

[edit] Johnny B

Johnny B joins Patrick as a regular co-host on NLO. Notable "bits" of Johnny's include his off-the-wall rants, comedic storytelling, and his ability to turn almost any subject into a humorous song. He has also become the subject of a recurring gag that he is not funny, steals jokes, or "turns everything into a song."

Johnny B has become the whipping boy of the show as of late, because of his needlessly overbearing personality and constant need to "sell" his jokes, at any cost. This makes for some funny fodder for the rest of the crew, as they berate him or "cowbell" his comedy.

[edit] Chef

First appearing alongside Johnny B in episode 98: "Feel the Rain", Chef has become a regular co-host on the Nobody Likes Onions program. Chef, along with Johnny B, have appeared more regularly on the program in the absence of Dagre. Chef is Jewish, which is often the subject of jokes by the other hosts. Chef is a favorite of many listeners because of his ability to remain quiet for long periods of time and then lash out with very funny insults.

On December 24th, 2007, during the live show that would become episode 264: "Easonsa Eetingsgra", the sad news was released that Chef would be moving from the Tampa Bay area and would thus become an infrequent guest. In early January 2008, it appeared that Chef had not actually moved and is still co-hosting NLO.

Chef earned his moniker for formerly being a gourmet chef.

[edit] Former Hosts

[edit] Hollywood Adam

From the show's inception until late November 2006, the program's co-host was "Hollywood" Adam, a high school friend of Patrick. Adam is himself not a comedian. He was largely quiet while Patrick did a great majority of the talking. After more than 130 episodes, citing family concerns and the long drive to the studio, he quit the show. James Choma, on his show, ZFTR, hinted on his show that Hollywood's departure was precipitated in part by the addition of other stand-up comics as regulars, but that the whole truth would remain private for the time being.

On episode 179, Adam's mother called in during a live show to defend her son claiming that Johnny B and Dagre have said "Fuck Adam" on the show before. The conversation shifted to Patrick's current relationship with Adam. Despite this, Mrs. Weeks seems to be friendly towards Patrick. This phone call has been the only instance of a discussion of why Hollywood Adam left the show. On the same show there were hints as to Adam's departure being linked to a loan Adam had failed to pay Patrick back.

[edit] Other Regulars

Along with the hosts there are some recurring guests, presented in order of appearance.

[edit] "Dagre"

After Hollywood Adam quit, Patrick replaced him with a new co-host known only as "Dagre", who is also not a comedian. Dagre was initially presented as the first black man on Nobody Likes Onions, which was noteworthy because of the show's occasional racial humor. Nevertheless, as Dagre has a very white-sounding voice, a lot of fans did not believe that he was black.

During a tirade against Dagre on episode 168, Partick revealed that Dagre is, in fact, white. But in a later episode claimed he was only kidding. Dagre's true ethnicity is revealed in the high resolution video that Patrick has uploaded. Viewers were shocked to find that Dagre is in fact not what they expected. Patrick had advertised to get the video or else fans would have to wait for episode 200 to see what Dagre looks like, and on June 25, 2007 a video was uploaded to the subscription-based Super Alpha Bonus Club area of the NLO forums. Fans can also view Dagre regularly during live shows on the studio webcams.

[edit] Roy

Roy T. Johnson is a comedian living in Tampa. He brought Patrick up on stage for his first open mic performance, moved to New York briefly, and moved back to Tampa to become a semi-regular fixture on the show. Roy brings a good balance to the show mix.

[edit] Jake

Jake has appeared on very few shows, and is probably best known for his active participation on the forums and losing his license while driving to Patrick's studio to record a show. A local comedian, Jake is generally liked by the fans and expected to return to the show occasionally.

[edit] Whitmore

An "Official Show Guest" of the show who allegedly has cancer and is dying in six months. This seems not to bother him and it has been over a year since his illness was announced. He has appeared on multiple episodes, but has not returned in over 8 months. It is not known whether Whitmore is alive or dead.

[edit] Shannon

Shannon is a friend of the hosts, and sits in on episode recording from time to time. Appearing very seldom on the show, Shannon is a quiet and reserved individual who does not talk very much.

[edit] Nick Starr

Originally, Nick appeared as a tech reporter for the show. Neither Nick nor Patrick took his reporting job seriously so he started becoming a regular guest. From that point Nick started talking about his personal life and revealed on an episode that he hadn't had sex in three years and hasn't had a girlfriend in a very long time. On a later show Nick talked about how a girl messaged him saying she was interested in him and would like to hook up. Patrick insisted that the girl was not real, while Nick continued to believe she existed. During this conversation Nick had said some lines that are still used today to mock him:

"She lives outside of Jacksonville, which is, just a train ride away from here" In regards to how easy it would be for him to meet her.

"Ass everywhere, it's, awww, it's so hot" Talking about her myspace and how she has many pictures of her ass. It was later revealed that the "girl" was just a forum user who used a porn star's picture to fool Nick. After a live show where Nick would steal jokes from Patrick and interrupted too much, Patrick started poking fun at Nick and his life. However things got out of hand. Out of frustration with the conversation, Nick punched a box of donuts and left Patrick's house, slamming the door.

After being absent from the show for a few months, Nick was allegedly discovered bisexual after selling his phone to a listener of the show without deleting the emails received and sent on the phone, revealing personal emails between Nick and people on craigslist. In an effort to regain popularity Nick proposed to have sex with a hooker in the studio and make a video tape that fans could buy. Despite plans being made (the hooker being replaced with a professional porn star) and the event being paid for, Nick and Patrick had differences on how the video, and the project was canceled.

More recently Nick posted on his Twitter page about thoughts of killing himself. He went as far as saying, "alright this is it. Parked my car. I wish everyone who ever was nice to me well. See you in the next life". Throughout the updates fans from The Dawn and Drew show (a show Nick is friends with) would post saying Nick has something to live for and he shouldn't kill himself. Although there were claims that he parked his car at the top of Skyway Bridge, he ended up not killing himself, but rather parked his car elsewhere and fell asleep. Patrick speculated in episode 215 that Nick Starr would never kill himself since he would want to see what attention he would get, claiming he's an attention whore.

Nick now lives an openly-gay lifestyle in San Francisco, and is unlikely to return to the show.

[edit] Cowhead

A Tampa Radio DJ (102.5 The Bone) who appears on the show frequently, along with his morning crew members Galvin and Moose. On episode 300, it was said that Cowhead and the NLO crew have had a falling-out.

[edit] Brian

A high school friend of Patrick and Hollywood Adam. Brian started on the show with a segment called "Brian's Emotionless Movie Reviews." In this segment Brian would make up a movie review of a movie he didn't see over the phone. Since Adam's departure, Brian has not returned to the show, with the exception of a couple of very awkward call-ins.

[edit] Tony Gaud

Gaud is a Florida-based comic who first appeared on episodes 2 and 3 subbing in for Hollywood Adam when he had a business trip. Due to his popularity among fans he has returned to the show as a regular guest. After Johnny B made fun of Tony Gaud's talk show on an episode claiming the show sucked and was unprofessional, Gaud claimed he would not be on NLO again. He did, however, appear in episode 242 after the incident.

Patrick recently commented in a forum post that Tony will not be appearing on anything relating to NLO ever again.

[edit] Live Shows

Prior to March of 2006, NLO was distributed solely as a podcast. During live episodes, the show takes calls from fans who voice their opinions on segments. The callers have added a completely new dimension to the show. Callers will often call in to help in the ribbing of a particular host, comment on a story or topic in the news, ask the hosts to perform some kind of stunt, or just to flirt.

In the beginning, the hosts were hostile to callers that had differing opinions, however the show seems to be learning to harness the humor in other viewpoints and make callers feel more welcome.

Live shows recently went from audio-only stream to video broadcast over ustream.tv with three studio cameras.

[edit] NLOL

NLOL is a yearly show where the hosts and friends of nobody likes onions does comedy shows together. In 2008 it will take place in Las Vegas, Nevada from August 12-17. Patrick, Johnny B, and Chef are slated to attend. Roy Johnson, Jake Lloyd, Whitmore, Shannon, and Vinny may also attend.

[edit] Notable Segments

The show has several recurring features which "recur" at widely varying intervals. As the show has progressed into a more talk-oriented program, the clear distinction of segments has gone away and the show now contains more free-flowing conversational stylings.

There are also a number of running jokes, inside references, and allusions to NLO culture that might not be easily understood if one is not familiar with the show. Many of these jokes are conveyed through the copious use of sound clips programmed into a soundboard, many taken from pop-culture, movies, television, and past segments/guests of the show. Other times, Patrick and the other hosts will state completely inaccurate facts and statements, leaving new listeners lost and time-tested fans in stitches.

[edit] Johnny B. Tech support

In this segment, Johnny offers somewhat riddiculous tech-support advice to customers who call in

[edit] Throw Johnny Under The Bus

One of the newer segments in which Johnny's self-esteem is exploited to bring hilarity to the show. Embarrassing or awkward situations that Johnny would rather not have discussed on air are laid out for all to be part of.

[edit] Is It Gay?

A newer segment on the show where the hosts, guests or listeners will present a situation from their life that can be interpreted as gay. The hosts and callers will then debate the sexuality of the story, usually culminating in a lot of joking and roasting of the presenter. Sometimes a poll of the audience is taken live through the uStream listener feedback system.

[edit] P.O. Box

Listeners will send in various interesting items that are to be talked about, or food/drink items that become challenges for the hosts to consume. Past items include Japanese cola, alcoholic beverages, 15-year-old Crystal Pepsi, cookies, etc. Sometimes listeners will send in creepy or gross things to try to scare the hosts, such as cryptic letters, riddles, books and even pubic hair.

[edit] Past Segments

[edit] Bad Podcast of the Week

Early on, one of NLO's most well-known features was the Bad Podcast of the Week, in which Patrick chooses a podcast and delivers strongly-worded, over-the-top criticism. Reaction from BPOW "victims" has been mixed, ranging from indifference to indignation, but all of the shows enjoyed higher traffic as a result. Some of the BPOW's have stirred up a great deal of discussion and provoked strong reactions.

One of the early bad podcasts in September of 2005 was a vidcast of The Mary and Karla Show, whose hosts Melton mocked as "two manatees" and "fat cows." Mary and Karla retaliated a couple weeks later by reviewing the review.

In December of 2005, NLO featured the podcast "Porcuponics" in its BPOW segment. During the course of the segment, Patrick directed some obscene comments toward a very young child. In the ensuing uproar, Patrick announced he was quitting the show. During his brief hiatus, Nick Starr and "Hollywood" Adam put out three episodes that were shorter than most, and were regarded by most fans as not up to the show's usual quality level, before Patrick returned to the program on Christmas day, and retracted the statements as having gone too far.

Melton also issued a letter of apology to the producers of Porcuponics, [1] but declined to edit or remove the show in question, saying that doing so would be lacking in integrity. As the show had been downloaded over 15,000 times by that point, it is doubtful that such actions would have had any effect if they had been taken.

Another podcast featured on the Bad Podcast of the Week segment created a wider uproar, when Patrick satirized Cruisin' With Susan on NLO. Susan Miller, a truck driver and the producer of Cruisin' with Susan, responded with a fabricated cease and desist order and threats of legal action, as well as comments on her own show and the introduction of a "good podcast of the week" segment on her show. Patrick declared that satirizing Miller's podcast would become a recurring feature (an assertion which soon fell through), with NLO showcasing Miller's latest podcast in a segment titled 'Snoozin' With Susan'. Miller never followed through on her legal threats and later ceased producing her podcast after winning the lottery.

This segment was brought back recently, roasting "Caked-on stripes", a defunct podcast by Derick and Bri Harrington, who were guests on the show at the time

[edit] Johnny's Bit Idea of the Week

A recurring segment on NLO that started in late 2007. This segment consists of Johnny, a professional comedian, talking about his various idea for 'bits' or jokes in comedy show. The ideas are either from Johnny, or from fans who write in with their own bit ideas for Johnny. The comedic value of the bit is either when Johnny has a bad bit, in which he is soon ridiculed for it by Patrick and Chef, or when the fans write in with a bad bit (to date, none have been taken seriously) and Patrick, Johnny, and Chef make fun of the bit, which is usually funnier than the joke itself.

[edit] Secret Segment

Running from the beginning of the show and eventually petering off between episode 60-90, the "Secret Segment" was a segment that only Patrick knew about. The secret segment would start out by Patrick saying "Hey Adam." in a conversational way. He would repeat this several times and scream "Secret Segment!", often cutting off Adam mid-response. The secret segment topics have ranged from comedian spotlight and "Adam Eat This" to Adam's mom telling stories about his childhood. One of the biggest secrets to ever be announced was "crull".

[edit] Scruples

Running regularly through shows 80 - 120, and occurring from time to time afterwards, this segment consisted of the hosts of the show pulling cards from The Game Of Scruples, and discussing the question, often taking callers on live shows and having them talk about the question. They also took listener submitted Scruples questions, some of which they took seriously, and some of which they mocked for not following the correct format of a Scruples question.

[edit] Million Dollar Questions

A segment that made a brief appearance in episode 232, this segment stemmed from a book that the show received in its P.O. Box, which consisted of questions like "Would you be a mime for a year for a million dollars?".

[edit] Super Alpha Bonus Club

The Super Alpha Bonus Club, or "SABC" (pronounced "sab-see"), is the official member fan club of NLO launched in March 2006. Joining the SABC allows the listener to download movies (often filmed before or after regular shows but sometimes focus on the goings on outside of the show), pictures, bonus audio and also allows access to the SABC fourms where only other SABC members can post and are hidden from the view of non-SABC members.

The pricing plan for the SABC is $10 a month or $100 for a yearly subscription.

Since the arrival of the newly designed NLO Store, the store contains SABC gift packages that listeners can buy for other people.

During the 2 weeks leading up to St.Patrick's Day in 2008, there was a special offer available to purchase a 1 year subscription for only $60, and continue to pay $60 for each year until the person cancelled their subscription. This offer was based around St.Patrick's Day due to a tie in with the name of the host, Patrick Melton.

[edit] The Fans

Nobody Likes Onions has listeners all over the world. The NLO fans are known for responding quickly to Patrick's comments and requests on the show. Fans, mostly young ones, have pulled pranks on podcasting and online poker rivals of Patrick. The term "NLO Army" was coined by forum users in November of 2005 and has been largely adopted as the moniker of Nobody Likes Onions fans. Other names, such as the "NLO Ants", NLO Faggots" and "Alpha Fans" have also been popular.

[edit] References

  1. ^ PodCastAwards.com

[edit] External links