No Fits, No Fights, No Feuds

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"No Fits, No Fights, No Feuds" is the 57th episode of the ABC television series, Desperate Housewives. It was also the eleventh episode of the show's third season. The episode was written by Alexandra Cunningham and Josh Senter and directed by Sanaa Hamri. It first aired on January 7, 2007.

[edit] Guest Starring

• Dougray Scott as Ian Hainsworth
• Mark Moses as Paul Young
• Valerie Mahaffey as Alma Hodge
• Ernie Hudson as Detective Ridley
• Rachel Fox as Kayla Huntington
• Mark Deklin as Bill Pearce
• Myra Turley as Peggy
• Dixie Carter as Gloria Hodge

[edit] Co-Starring

• Cristos as Inmate #1

[edit] Plot

Gabrielle receives flowers, but the card doesn't specify who sent them. Gabrielle believes Carlos sent them to sabotage her relationship with Bill, but Carlos says he did not send them. Gabrielle visits the flower shop and asks the owner who sent the flowers, but she refuses to tell her as the buyer has asked to remain anonymous. Gabrielle locks the owner up into a room so she can look through the paper work. However, Bill comes into the store, and is shocked at Gabrielle's actions. Gabrielle decides not to discover who the sender is, but it is too late for the couple and Bill breaks up with her. Gabrielle leaves and Bill releases the flower shop owner.

Kayla returns to Wisteria Lane, when she moves in with the Scavos full time. Kayla wants to watch TV while eating dinner, but Lynette won't let her as it's a rule that you can only eat dinner at the table. Kayla insists that Lynette lets her do it because Nora let her. Lynette allows her to "just this once". Lynette takes the children out for ice cream, but when they have to leave, Kayla refuses to because she wants to finish her ice cream, but Lynette can't wait for her. Kayla tells Lynette that she doesn't have to listen to her because she's not her mother. Lynette tells her boys that if they get Kayla into the car, they can eat dinner in front of the TV for a week, so they do. As Tom tucks Kayla into bed, he asks her why she is giving Lynette a hard time. Kayla tells him that she blames Lynette for the death of Nora. Tom asks her to be nicer to Lynette. Kayla says she will, but that doesn't mean she loves her. Lynette is hurt when she overhears this.

Susan visits Mike in prison and hogs the credit for hiring the lawyer. Mike tells her that he no longer believes Edie's lies about her. Susan tells him that Ian doesn't want her seeing him anymore, and they say goodbye. Mike runs into Paul in prison. Paul tells him that he doesn't believe that he killed Monique.

Julie loses her virginity to Austin. The following day, it is revealed that Austin has also been sleeping with Danielle Van De Kamp and Danielle gives him an ultimatum: either allow the affair to go on, or she will tell Julie, Austin decides to keep having the affair in order to keep Julie from knowing about the affair.

What happens to Alma after Orson found out she's leaving him is revealed; Alma wants to leave him because she found lipstick on his shirt. After Orson comes home, Alma tells him she is indeed leaving him, and he doesn't care because he doesn't love her. Alma is hurt and leaves. She goes to Winnipeg to live with her aunt Agnes. And Orson frees Alma's parrot, Baby -- he did not kill it. In the present, she arrives on Wisteria Lane to confront him. Bree faints after meeting Alma. Orson is shocked to meet her. Bree decides to throw a dinner party featuring Alma to show off to Wisteria Lane that Orson did not murder her. Susan shares the information about Orson being at the mental hospital with Lynette and Gabrielle. She also shares it with Detective Ridley. She also tells Detective Ridley about Orson's affair with Monique. Before the dinner party, Alma injects herself with something. Detective Ridley crashes the party to ask Orson some questions. Bree learns about Susan's talk with Detective Ridley. She feels betrayed and ends her friendship with Susan. Edie shows Alma around the Applewhites' old house, and Alma decides to buy it.

[edit] Notes

Gloria Hodge (Dixie Carter) does not speak in this episode. But she does appear in a flashback of Orson and Alma's wedding right at the start.

Orson apparently likes redheads; Bree Van De Kamp, Alma Hodge, and Monique Polier - all the women he is romantically connected with - all have red hair.

[edit] Quotes

• Susan: "You can't kiss me now! I'm yelling at you!"
  Ian: "Well, I'm listening."

• Danielle: "So he didn't pressure you at all? What a great guy."
  Julie: "I know. I'm so lucky. Underneath all that bad boy posturing, he's a real gentleman."
  Andrew: "Wow, you're not only a virgin, you think like one."
  Danielle: "Beat it, eavesdropper."
  Julie: "No, wait. Um... What did you mean by that?"
  Andrew: "Well, uh... Guys need sex. All right? It's basic science. So if he's not getting it from you, he'll end up getting it somewhere else."
  Danielle: "You're a moron. Not all guys pressure girls for sex."
  Andrew: "Yeah, gay guys don't. But Austin's not gay, not even after three beers...... Don't ask."

• Kayla (to Lynette): "Leave me alone!! You don't tell me what to do!! You're not my mother!!"

• Alma: "Bree Hodge? I'm Alma Hodge. I believe we have someone in common."

• Alma: "I've been moving around a lot in the last few months. And I need a place where I can really settle down. Y'know what I mean? I wanna live in a place where children know how to behave, where people still have some sense of moral value and where friendships are good and strong and last forever. That's what I'm looking for."

[edit] Title reference

The episode title, No Fits, No Fights, No Feuds is taken from the lyrics of the song, "Together, Wherever We Go" from a musical Stephen Sondheim wrote lyrics for, Gypsy.

[edit] International Titles

• French (Canada): L’ombre d’un doute (The Darkness of a Doubt)
• French: Les rousses contre-attaquent
• German: Unmoralische Absichten (Immoral Intentions)
• Italian: Deponiamo le armi (Set Down the Weapons)
• Spanish: Sin Ira ni Demonios (Without Wrath and Demons)
• Hungarian: Se had, se harc, se háború (No Fits, No Fights, No Feuds)

[edit] Awards Notes

• Rachel Fox and Mark Moses submitted this episode for consideration in the category of "Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series" and "Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series" on their respective behalves for the 2007 Emmy Awards. ^[1]

[edit] References