NewsRadio season 3

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This is a detailed list of NewsRadio episodes from the third season. See List of NewsRadio episodes for a complete list of all NewsRadio episodes.

Contents

[edit] President

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[edit] Summary

Jimmy announces he is running for President of the United States. Matthew grows some facial hair while on vacation.

[edit] Memorable Quotes

Lisa: Did you lose a bet, sir?
Jimmy: Huh?
Lisa: You know, like with one of your rich friends- the loser has to run for president, ha ha.
Jimmy: No... See, last, uh... last time I made a bet with a rich friend, oh yeah, heh- I ended up streaking through the Chicago Mercantile Exchange at noon.
Dave: Ouch.
Jimmy: What do you mean 'ouch,' I was the winner on that one.

[edit] Review

[edit] Summary

Matthew discovers the comic strip Dilbert and quits his job when Dave refuses to let him do a story about it. Problems ensue as the station undergoes an annual review.

[edit] Memorable Quotes

Catherine: My name is "Catherine," with a 'C'; not with a 'K.' "Catherine," with a 'C' is regal. Katherine with a 'K' is a two-bit biker slut from North Jersey.
Dave: Like that cheap slut Katharine Hepburn.

[edit] Massage Chair

[edit] Summary

Bill buys a massage chair in defiance of budget cuts at the station.

[edit] Arcade

[edit] Summary

Beth replaces the lobby sandwich machine with the arcade game Stargate Defender. Bill is upset because he finds the sandwiches from the old machine to be delicious. Lisa and Dave retake the SATs to see if they are getting dumber.

[edit] Memorable Quotes

Beth: Hang on! were you one of those guys in high school who spent everyday at the arcade, hunched over the controls of a simulated spaceship with all the other pale, friendless virgins?
[Long pause]
Dave: Don't be silly.



[Running into Dave's office with armful of sandwiches]

Bill: You gotta stop them, they're actually taking it away. I rescued as many as i could, but i just don't have enough change

[edit] Halloween

[edit] Summary

The staff is not invited to Mr. James' annual Halloween party because he thinks they're "too cool for school". Dave and Lisa persuade him to let them come. Bill becomes depressed after a psychic tells him the exact date of his death, but then falls in love with an old woman.

[edit] Notes

[edit] Awards Show

[edit] Summary

The staff attends an awards banquet. Matthew frets over his belief that the breakroom is infested with ants.

[edit] Daydream

[edit] Summary

A hot day and broken air conditioner causes the thoughts of the staff to drift.

[edit] Movie Star

[edit] Summary

James Caan visits Bill as part of research for his new movie, but he soon becomes fixated by Matthew's odd behavior. Dave tries to buy a television set for Lisa. Superfan Jimmy James has an extra Knicks ticket, and Joe conducts a trivia contest between Beth and Catherine to determine who gets the seat.

[edit] Stocks

[edit] Summary

Jimmy teaches Beth how to play the stock market, but won't help Bill. Matthew pretends to have flown to Japan, bringing back gifts for the office, including a samurai's katana sword for Dave. Lisa is reluctant to ask for a new chair because she doesn't want it to look like Dave is playing favorites.

[edit] Christmas

[edit] Summary

Dave covers for his employees so they can leave early, but still manages to take Lisa to Wisconsin before Christmas is over.

[edit] The Trainer

[edit] Summary

Bill joins a gym; the WNYX staff discover a secret about Dave's past.

[edit] Notes

[edit] Rap

[edit] Summary

Bill discovers the evils of rap music. Lisa has a problem with being named "cutest reporter" by a local magazine.

[edit] Led Zeppelin Boxed Set

[edit] Summary

Matthew becomes the office "alpha male," while Jimmy learns about three card monte.

[edit] Complaint Box

[edit] Summary

The new complaint box causes problems for Dave. Jimmy goes fishing, while his satellite hookup goes to the movies.

[edit] Rose Bowl

[edit] Summary

Dave agrees to let the staff review each other, while Jimmy takes a con artist to court.

[edit] Kids

[edit] Summary

Dave must figure out who is leaving pornography around the office in the midst of an elementary school field trip.

[edit] Airport

[edit] Summary

While Bill and Dave are stuck in a St. Louis airport, Lisa runs the office, and Beth and Matthew water Bill's plants.

[edit] Twins

[edit] Summary

Matthew's "identical twin" brother arrives for a visit. Bill's greed almost bankrupts the station.

[edit] Office Feud

[edit] Summary

Joe, Dave, and Beth deal with the noisy environmentalists who've moved in upstairs; Lisa covers the Easter Egg hunt at the White House; Bill and Catherine argue over Bill's sponsorship by Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor.

[edit] Memorable Quotes

Bill: Gazizza, dilznoofuses, this is Bill McNeal saying, get with the crazappy taste of Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor! Rocket Fuel's got the upstate prison flavor that keeps you ugly all night long. So when you wanna get sick, remember: Nothing makes your feet stank like Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor. Damn, it's crazappy!

[edit] Notes

This episode introduced the word "gazizza," later used in Space.

[edit] Our Fiftieth Episode

[edit] Summary

An argument over a traffic ticket gets Bill committed to a mental hospital.

[edit] Sleeping

  • Episode No.: 3-21 (49)
  • Production No.: 322
  • US Airdate: May 7, 1997
  • Written by:
  • Directed by: Judi Elterman
  • Guest stars: Scott N. Stevens as Dr. Mandel

[edit] Summary

Matthew hides in the break room fridge to scare anyone who opens it, eventually causing Mr. James to have a heart attack. Mr. James' lawyer shows Dave and Lisa a video tape wherein Mr. James reveals his wish to spend his remaining time with his friends and colleagues at WNYX in the case of a life-threatening illness. Mr. James is moved into the WNYX break room while he recovers from his coma and the staff is asked to talk to him during the day. Lisa decides that she wants to have a baby. Bill recreates his time as a college overnight DJ.

[edit] The Real Deal

[edit] Summary

Desperate to keep "The Real Deal" on the air despite floundering ratings, Bill and Lisa attempt to interview Jerry Seinfeld in a restaurant and record the results. Matthew reveals to everybody that he is still a virgin (at 28), and subsequently loses his virginity to his gorgeous girlfriend in the breakroom.

[edit] Mistake

[edit] Summary

Dave makes several inappropriate comments about the staff in a magazine article. Matthew has competition as the weirdest person in the office.

[edit] Space

[edit] Summary

WNYX is imagined as a news radio station in space in the future. The crew still have the same jobs, and WNYX is still a radio station. Bill and Catharine read ads ("Soylent Green, made from the best stuff on Earth: people") and news from the future. Meanwhile, Joe is thawed out after more than 80 years of suspended animation to fix the reactor for the station. Jimmy needs to cut the budget, so he needs to have either Bill or Catherine go into suspended animation for 50 years. Dave and Lisa, meanwhile, are still trying to figure out if they should live together, and where. Although Joe tinkers with the reactor, his repairs (hitting it numerous times with a pair of pliers and then pulling out a circuit board) fail to produce the desired effect, and he announces that the whole station will blow up unless everyone (save for two people) goes into suspended animation pods for 50 years so they can shut the station down and wait for help. The crew, with the exception of Bill (who is paranoid that someone else will wind up making just as much money when he wakes up) and Matthew (who tells his android girlfriend to take his place--even though, as she tries to point out, she doesn't need oxygen or food to survive) get into the pods. Matthew trips over a cord, unplugging the pods from their power source, instantly killing everyone except for himself and Bill. Bill then informs Matthew that they'll have to re-start the human race together. (Matthew agrees--"But no gay stuff.")

[edit] Injury

[edit] Summary

When uninsured Matthew is injured goofing off at work, Dave and Lisa try to pass it off as a workplace accident so that workers' compensation will pay for the hospital costs.

[edit] Notes

  • This episode was intended to appear in season 2. It was delayed because the script called for Bill (Phil Hartman) to repeatedly use the word "penis" (some of which were ultimately edited out). Because of this, the episode is intentionally featured on both the First (Seasons 1 & 2) and Second (Season 3) NewsRadio DVD boxsets.
  • Matthew's birthday is given as 12/21/65 in this episode (making him 31 in real time), however Dave stated Matthew was 28 in 'The Real Deal'.


Previous: NewsRadio season 2
Next: NewsRadio season 4