Talk:Namri Songtsen
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[edit] Quick Review
Just a few comments on improving the article. It's a good start.
- It needs more than one reference. I may have something laying around, but I don't know if I'll have time to add anything.
- Needs a thorough copyedit and rewrite for style issues. I suggest taking it over to the League of Copyeditors and seeing what they can do for you.
- The sentences are generally very long and should be broken up into clauses or shorter sentences. For example:
- Expanding his rule to all of modern Central Tibet, including the Lhasa region allowed him to rule over many groups, and to begin the establishment of a centralized and strong state, with skilled troops who gained experience in their many battles in the early 7th century.
- might become
- As he extended his rule to all of Central Tibet, he began to establish a strong, centralized state with the help of skilled troops, who had gained experience in the battles of the early seventh century. Or something. I don't really know.--Gimme danger (talk) 17:20, 28 April 2008 (UTC)
Categories: Start-Class Tibetan Buddhism articles | Unknown-importance Tibetan Buddhism articles | WikiProject Tibet articles | Start-Class Tibet articles | Unknown-importance Tibet articles | Start-Class China-related articles | Start-Class China-related articles of unknown-importance | Unknown-importance China-related articles | Biography articles without listas parameter | Start-Class biography articles