Talk:Nablus

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Contents 1 Comments on April 2008 version of article 2 GA Review 3 Note to the editors 4 Railway to Nablus

[edit] Comments on April 2008 version of article

The above discussions ought to be archived. They are well out of date.

The present article is in pretty good shape. Just a few points for your attention:-

• Population. I can't make sense of the population table in the Demographics section It seems to indicate a projected 2006 population of 29,930 when you have said the population is 134,000. Am I misreading? Also, as we're now in 2008 you shouldn't really be talking about "projections" for 2 years ago. And another thing: in the lead, having given the 134,000 figure, you say that the population has "dwindled drastically" ever since 599 CE. What on earth was the city's population in 599 CE?

I corrected the table; I copy and pasted it from Bethlehem without changing the 2000s figures. I removed 2005, but have decided to keep the projections for '04 and '06. I will try to find the projected population of 2008. As for the lead, what I intended to say was that the Samaritan population has "dwindled drastically [to 600 members today]". --Al Ameer son (talk) 13:24, 21 April 2008 (UTC)

• Check 1915 as date of British occupation of Nablus - was it that early?

I took care of it. --Al Ameer son (talk) 13:24, 21 April 2008 (UTC)

• The loss of the city to the British in WW1, and its proposed inclusion in a post-WW2 Arab state, are separate events which require separate sentences.

Done. --Al Ameer son (talk) 13:24, 21 April 2008 (UTC)

• Who speculated that Christianity was well-established in the city by 2nd and 3rd century CE? You say sources are vague, but you must have picked up the information from somewhere.
• Where you say "Armed conflict amongst the Christian population..." etc, the following paragraph starts by saying the conflict did not become a civil strife. Surely, if it was armed, it did? Do you mean that the conflict did not spread beyond the Christian community?

That's my mistake; The conflict was not armed. --Al Ameer son (talk) 16:26, 21 April 2008 (UTC)

• Petty point: it was Transjordan, not Jordan, that occupied, rather then "conquered" Nablus in 1948.

Fixed. --Al Ameer son (talk) 13:24, 21 April 2008 (UTC)

Not fixed, actually Brianboulton (talk) 22:39, 25 April 2008 (UTC)

Oops, I fixed it in the lead and forgot to in the body. Its fixed now. Sorry. --Al Ameer son (talk) 03:56, 26 April 2008 (UTC)

• In the Modern day section, having outlined the difficulties the city faces because of restrictions etc, you should perhaps add a bit about how the city is surviving on a day-by-day basis, since its normal income sources seem to be largely suspended.

Done. --Al Ameer son (talk) 16:26, 21 April 2008 (UTC)

This has the makings of an impressive article. Pity you didn't put it to peer review and get some general feedback - this might have been useful. I'm not doing a GA review this time, but I hope my comments help. Brianboulton (talk) 11:35, 21 April 2008 (UTC)

Good. On a general point, though, what has Nebi Musa got to do with Nablus? (You mention the British ending the Nebi Musa festival). Brianboulton (talk) 17:08, 21 April 2008 (UTC)

I'm not sure I got it from this passage:

The significance of Khan al-Tujjar also had a great deal to do with its central location, which divided the city in half, not just physically but also psychologically, between “easterners” and “westerners;” labels that are still used today.[18] For example, during the preparations for the Nabi Musa festival, held near Jericho every year for centuries until it was stopped by the British occupation in the late 1930s,[19] young men from the eastern and western parts of Nablus descended on Khan al-Tujjar, each shouting slogans praising their part of the city.[1]

I'd delete this mention of Nebi Musa. It's got nothing to do with the city of Nablus. Brianboulton (talk) 00:16, 22 April 2008 (UTC)

Done. --Al Ameer son (talk) 00:37, 22 April 2008 (UTC)

[edit] GA Review

Hi all, this is just a note that I'll be reviewing this article for y'all. Note, that it will take some time because you've got a lone one here :) Also, just curious, what do you think about moving some of the photos and having a link to Commons? Just a thought! Looks good so far. Lazulilasher (talk) 11:49, 30 April 2008 (UTC)

Btw, I would also mention that this is extremely comprehensive. Great research and good job editors! Lazulilasher (talk) 11:55, 30 April 2008 (UTC)

Thank you dearly! Take all the time you need. --Al Ameer son (talk) 19:02, 30 April 2008 (UTC)

First, sorry for the delay. I've been busy trying to build Louvre and Pied Noir to FA (unashamed advertising for helpers :) ) and I wanted to give this article a good review. So, here I am.

Second, I noticed that the article did not have a map of Nablus' location. So, I edited the template:Infobox Palestinian Authority muni so that it now has parameter's for using a location map. I recommend using template:Location map Israel/Palestinian territories (although the coords are a bit off). You can use this map in the same manner on any page, so hopefully it will help you out a bit.

So, here we are.

I'll start with the boring GA list:

GA review (see here for criteria)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

   Good, for the most part. See below for comments on Lead and length.

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

   Extremely well reference, meets GA standards.

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

   Article could benefit from being pruned a bit. The history section, especially, tend to be a bit too detailed for me. Overall, this is a fascinating article, however.

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

   As always, good work in this area.

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

   On hold...all issues are extremely minor. This article is excellent.

Notes:

• The lead: while extremely well-written, it is too lengthy. The lead shouldn't exceed four paragraphs. Remember, we are trying to entice the reader to continue on the article.
• Length: This is a matter of debate--so it is not a criterion for pass/fail of GA. However, I note that the article could be pruned and shortened a bit to eliminate unnecessary detail.
• Section Neapolis: These sentences: "Sources are vague, but Christianity is speculated to have been well-established in Neapolis during the 2nd or 3rd century,[1] however, some sources say Christianity was predominant by 480 CE.[3] It is certain, however, that the city had its own bishop in 314 C.E." perhaps would be better recast like this: "Although it is certain that Nablus had a bishop in 314 C.E., it is speculated that Christianity was dominant in the 2nd or 3rd century, with some sources positing 480 C.E." Also, could we specify to whom we are speaking of with "some sources"?

Again, fantastic work by all contributors! Lazulilasher (talk) 18:17, 2 May 2008 (UTC)

Thanks so much for reviewing this article; sooner than I expected I may add. I think I took care of Neapolis section per your suggestion and we will take care of the lead in a jiffy. As for the length of the history section (I think you're talking about the Ottoman and Egyptian sections), I will try to trim some of the content thats very general, but hopefully nothing necessary will be accidently removed. I'll be sure to notify you when everyting is taken care of. Sorry btw, for responding so late; I haven't been active for the last two-three days. --Al Ameer son (talk) 04:33, 4 May 2008 (UTC)

I took a stab at copy-editing the lead, paring it down just a bit and merging sentences and paragraphs where possible. It probably could use a little more. I'm unsure as to why Muhammed Ali's brief sojourn into the city should take up so much space in the intro and recommend cutting that down even further. Good job everyone. Tiamut^talk 15:08, 4 May 2008 (UTC)

I went ahead and cut it down further as suggested above. If I removed too much detail, feel free to revert, but I think it's better this way, since the details are covered in depth in the section on Muhammed Ali later on. Tiamut^talk 15:18, 4 May 2008 (UTC)

Your revisions are all good. This article is very good. I'm tempted to promote it to GA now, but I'm going to wait a bit and see what you guys do with it, if that's OK. Lazulilasher (talk) 18:53, 5 May 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for the positive feedback and the encouragement to do more. I've given the entire article a good once over, section by section. I've changed a lot of sentences tht began with "Nablus" so that the flow is improved. I've combined some sentences and taken out minor repetitions too, and sdded a few wikilinks and clarified language where needed. For now, I think my improvements are finished (that is, until we decide to go for FA status). I hope the article now meets with your (and Al Ameer Son's) approval. Warm regards, Tiamut^talk 12:48, 6 May 2008 (UTC)

Thank you very much Tiamut. You did a wonderful job in copyeditting the article with such detail. I wasn't expecting it, so it came as a lovely surprise. Hopefully we'll get it to an FA, but that means much more expansion. Thanks again! --Al Ameer son (talk) 22:12, 6 May 2008 (UTC)

Ooops, I forgot to actually PROMOTE the article....consider it done...great work! Lazulilasher (talk) 19:26, 10 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Note to the editors

I must say I don't understand why this article hasn't been promoted to GA by now, and I assume this will happen very soon. I'm looking at it as a likely FA candidate in the not too distant future, and so I'm a bit alarmed by Al Ameer's assumption that the article needs "much more expansion" to qualify for FA. It has nearly 6,000 words of readable text at present - what will "much more" take it to? I would see the step-up from GA to FA as qualitative rather than quantitative, requiring no great expansion of the text. When the time comes, I'd like to help it towards FA if the editors want to take that step. But good luck with GA first. Brianboulton (talk) 22:14, 8 May 2008 (UTC)

Thank you for your encouragement, I guess "much more" was exaggerating a bit. However I don't think I put enough in the "Transportation" and "Economy: Modern-day" sections and I think there could be more in the "Education" section. Comparing the article to Jerusalem (a city FA), the only section missing is one on sports if there is any sports teams in Nablus. I'm very excited that you guys think Nablus could make FA! And yes, speaking for myself, I would definitely like to take that step, but I can't promise any substantial contribs for the next two weeks (I got exams and a crap load of school work to do ): Cheers! --Al Ameer son (talk) 23:15, 8 May 2008 (UTC)

No hurry. Take your exams (good luck!), then when you're ready can think about getting the article ready for its peer review. Brianboulton (talk) 13:04, 9 May 2008 (UTC)

Ooops...it wasn't promoted because I forgot to promote it...consider it done. This article clearly meets GA requirements. Now, FA is a different process, it's longer and more arduous, although it is a LOT of fun and its a great feeling of accomplishment once it gets promoted. My recommendations actually fall along Brian's suggestions, which would be to clarify and reduce the text. Ideally, the prose should be as distilled and clear as possible. I've struggled with this, myself, as I tend to write in a meandering, adjective heavy style. Anyway, I'm promoting now. Sorry about the wait... Lazulilasher (talk) 19:25, 10 May 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for promoting the article and thanks double for your encouragement and advice. Happy editing! It's Always great to converse with you! --Al Ameer son (talk) 01:03, 11 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Railway to Nablus

Just noticed that this article got GA status. Congrats to all those who worked on it! Reading the article, I have noticed that there is no mention whatsoever of the railway which connected Nablus with Afula and the Hejaz railway. I think it's a pretty big deal, as railways at the time were possibly the most important form of transport, as there were no private cars to speak of. The railway also formed a part of the Turkish war railway in WWI. Can someone please insert this information? Thanks, Ynhockey ^(Talk) 18:50, 13 May 2008 (UTC)

I'm glad you brought this up, because I was saying in an above conversation, that the "Transportation" section needed to be beefed up. I'll ad the information, but do you have source that mentions Nablus as being a part of the railway? --Al Ameer son (talk) 02:29, 14 May 2008 (UTC)