Mr. Softytop

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The fictional Robert Edge, better known by his professional names, Mr. Softytop or just Softy, is one of the many characters from the world of British comedian Peter Kay.

Played by Peter Kay, Softy is a third-generation ice-cream man who stars in the That Peter Kay Thing episode, "The Ice Cream Man Cometh". It shows Softy struggling to keep his family business going in the face of the recession in popularity of ice-cream vans. His job is made all the more difficult by the fact that he utterly detests children. He doesn't give a real reason as to why he hates them but he does recall the trick they would pull on his father to con him out of free Mini-Milks.

In order to keep his head above water Softy has been forced to resort to dubious or downright illegal practices, much to the despair of his assistant and straight-man, Darren Bramwell (Kristian Tiffany), a college student who works for Softy on weekends and special occasions. Softy's shady business practices include turning up at accident scenes after listening in to emergency services transmissions and chasing his rivals off his "patch". He also sells and rents out pornographic videos from his van, often turning away a significant queue of children in order to do so. He even lent some to Chorley FM DJ, Paul LeRoy in exchange for some free publicity.

Softy's situation takes a downturn when a rival ice-cream man, an alleged Italian from Barnsley called Signor Whippy begins muscling in on his turf. Softy refers to him as a 'lousy wop' throughout the show and there is a high octane chase through the streets of Bolton after Softy sees Whippy on his patch. This rivalry comes to a head at the Bolton Show where Softy is initially very successful but suffers a breakdown under pressure after running out of ice-cream, throwing two melted tubs of Ice Cream over a female customer who had complained about Softy's use of foul language towards his assistant Darren. He then turns on the camera crew and throws a box of ice cream cones at the camera and smashes up his Ice Cream van. Signor Whippy is ultimately victorious in the "Ice-Cream War" but is later exposed as an illegal immigrant and is presumably deported.

After the Bolton Show, Softy finally gives up on the Ice-Cream business and opens up an adult entertainment shop called Softy's Hard Stuff.