Molvanîa

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Molvanîa

Molvanîa: a Land Untouched by Modern Dentistry
Author Tom Gleisner; Santo Cilauro; Rob Sitch
Country Australian
Language English
Subject(s) Fictional country
Genre(s) Travel; comedy
Publisher Jetlag travel guide
Publication date November 2003 (Australia)[1]
Followed by Phaic Tăn

Molvanîa is a fictional country in Eastern Europe glorified in the travel guide Molvanîa: a Land Untouched by Modern Dentistry, described as "the birthplace of the whooping cough" and "owner of Europe's oldest nuclear reactor." It was created by Australians Tom Gleisner, Santo Cilauro and Rob Sitch (of The D-Generation and The Panel fame) to parody travel guidebooks.

Contents

[edit] History

The book became a surprise success after its initial publication in Australia, sparking a bidding war for the international publication rights. Qantas has even run the half-hour video segment produced in association with the book on its international flights.

[edit] Criticism

The book was criticized by the UK's former Minister for Europe Keith Vaz, who accused it of exploiting prejudices about Eastern Europe.

He said the book was a little "cheeky" because "it does reflect some of the prejudices which are taking root [in Europe]. He [Mr Gleisner] does try and show exactly where we are lacking in our knowledge, the sad thing is, some people might actually believe that this country exists."

[edit] Other influences

 This article or section may contain original research or unverified claims.
Please improve the article by adding references. See the talk page for details. (February 2008)
  • Molvania does resemble slightly Hergé's imaginary countries (Syldavia and Borduria) that are encountered in The Adventures of Tintin. This could just be coincidence or a latent residual influence of Tintin.
  • The wordplay (in English) in this book, and all subsequent books resembles Herge's wordplay (in French) found in Tintin.

[edit] About Molvanîa

Map of Molvanîa
Map of Molvanîa

The Republic of Molvanîa is a composite of many stereotypes and clichés about Eastern Europe.

The book describes the nation as having been a desolate wasteland for much of its history, torn by civil war and ethnic unrest. Eventually Molvanîa's various warring factions were united as a single kingdom, ruled by a series of cruel despotic kings. In the late 19th Century the monarchy was overthrown, but the royal family remained popular in exile. During World War II the country was invaded by Nazi Germany, and then afterwards was occupied by the Soviet Union who set up a Communist puppet government. After the fall of European Communism in the 1990s, the country became a dictatorship run by a corrupt government with heavy ties to the Mafia.

Molvanîa is described as a very poor and rural country, heavily polluted and geographically barren. The infrastructure is terrible, with necessities such as electricity, clean water, and indoor plumbing being rare finds, largely due to bureaucratic incompetence. Though the tour guide tries to explain otherwise, there is little to do in the country, as all hotels are tiny, filthy, and dilapidated, the ethnic cuisine is disgusting, and the "tourist attractions" are all boring and overpriced. The Molvanîan people in turn are portrayed as being generally rude, dirty, and at times a bit psychotic, with numerous bizarre and illogical beliefs and traditions. The country's patron saint is Fyodor.

[edit] Language

The fictional Molvanîan language is said to be so complicated it is said to take an average of 16 years to learn, as not only is the tone in which one speaks important to the meaning, but also the pitch with which one speaks. It is a gendered language, with different articles being used depending on whether a noun is masculine, feminine, neutral, or a type of cheese. There are language schools for tourists to attend, which are described by the book as a "waste of time."

[edit] Location

It is somewhat varied just where Molvania is on the world map. It shares geographical similarities to Ukraine (except being landlocked) and Slovakia. However, it is said that it borders Germany, Slovakia, Slovenia, Hungary, and Romania. This is impossible.

[edit] Flag

Flag of Molvanîa
Flag of Molvanîa

The Molvanîan national flag, the "Molvanîan Trikolor", is unique in that it has only two colors. After the fall of the Iron Curtain, Molvanîa was the only ex-Soviet state to retain the hammer and sickle. So enamored were they with the symbols of workers' unity, they added a third tool -- the trowel.

[edit] National Anthem

Written by elderly local composer V.J. Rzebren. It is sung to the tune of 'Oh What a Feeling' from the film "Flashdance" . The third verse is now considered optional due to European Union laws against racial vilification. The words are fictive Slavic, Albanian, Hungarian and German words.

PRIJATI I-VSE PROST! ZVET BRAGK LE SOSED NE
KJO RJOPAK TAVO GARBUS JKET SZOR
TEGUL DIRBA LIETVEJ TEGUL ZVUT STKER
OMOV DSKVI A TO JRE TA INACH MYSL

PREJ LUK VDES PO JKADS KREMT TSE-TOI
BJOR ESHTE QE DJESHMOR RTEH
EJUM JE TA AVOR KRE ZSOVORTKIS
EJUM UND DAS SJORGEM FLAI

VERBOT! SKUIG VAS-KLEM SVETHUM
STUMZ STUM PLAIS-EIN STUMZ!
SEMIA TZASUMUS VO DIRBA PO
OZIVLA KI VTOPIO BO-LE SKBRI

Translation.

We stand now vigorous and prosperous
Forever united by our peoples
Brothers within frontiers are we
Supping upon the bounty of our home

Strife shall be banished and freedom reign
Our women fertile as our seeping plains
Let not the heroic past be forgotten
But the glorious future stand

Harmony and peace shall reign
All invaders will be crushed
Crushed we sing now,
We shall drive the gypsy curse from our land

[edit] Regions

The capital city of Molvanîa is Lutenblag, located in the Great Central Valley province. The other three provinces are the Eastern Steppes, the Western Plateau, and the Molvanîan Alps.

[edit] Sequels

  • Subsequent travel guides published include the Southeast Asian nation Phaic Tăn (published 2005) and San Sombrèro in Latin America (published in 2006).
  • Also promised are the never-released Bongoswana, (formerly known as Belgian East Congo, this charming African country is just waiting to be explored, from the capital Coup D'etat to the furthest reaches of the Ebola Jungle); Takki Tikki, (home to the fierce Tatonesian warriors, and a former French colony-- the influence of France is still found in the language, food, and disturbingly high radiation levels of the area);

[edit] See also

[edit] External links