Talk:Mission blue butterfly
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[edit] Comments
Hi mcmurray, a veritable opus that. I think you are trying to write a full-blown encyclopaedic article on your own :-). Some comments please.
[edit] Opening statement
I have changed it to a far simpler one and transferred the taxonomic stuff to another section. The article may be accesseed by a young person or beginner to butterflies and this taxonomic information is not needed and stands in the way of easy assimilation.
[edit] Branching required
Since the article is primarily about the butterfly species, some material, you have added is more correctly placed in an article of their own - for example, evolution of the family contains much material common to Lepidoptera but not specific to the Mission Blue. Please create a new article on 'butterfly evolution' and create it as a stub and please transfer the footnotes too. You may want at the most some short sentances about the evolution of the Mission Blue and give the new article's link as .. for main article see [[Butterfly evolution]].
The same is the case with the conservation areas, Statements about the conservation area are better transferred to the main article, one example being aboutMarin Headlands which has the following statement here but not in the main article :-
The Headlands area was once owned by the U.S. Army, from 1870 on the army used the area for forts, such as Fort Cronkhite, coastal batteries, such as the ones which protected the San Francisco Bay during WWII and missile sites, such as the 280 that occupied the area during the Cold War.[29]
Similarly some material on the various foodlants, actions taken to control weed-broom,and the laws cited may be transferred out of this article to other places in Wikipedia.
You may like to thin down content to the butterfly-related except where you feel it has direct relevance. The article is much longer than most wikipedia articles, though by itself that is not necessarily a bad thing.
If a person wants more info he should go the relevant wikilinks.
[edit] Structure
It is generally better to keep the normal details that are expected of a butterfly to the forefront such as description, distribution, range and status. Conservation, taxonomy and evolution may come later. I have made some changes but structure may be improved further.
[edit] Use of subsections
The =Section= is generally of little utility because it is difficult to distinguish between this type of section and that of the next lower level ==Subsection==. I tend to keep articles nested in two levels only, the ==Subsection== and the ===Sub-sub-section=== as they are easily distinguished.
[edit] Image placement
The silver and summer lupine images should be in the host plant section. In the range, two types of images would be appropriate - a map or sketch showing the distribution, and possibly an image of 'typical Mission blue country'.
Now you have put in great effort and written a good article so please consider my suggestions as feedback for the champion that I am sure you will become. My compliments to you on a job well done. Regards, AshLin 14:26, 19 October 2006 (UTC)
[edit] Reply
Yep. Sounds good, makes sense. I will look at it and assess it for changes. Thanks for the critique, much, much appreciated. A mcmurray 18:19, 19 October 2006 (UTC)
To: AshLin - I finally have time to work on some of this. And I am a much more experienced Wikipedian now, new name and all. IvoShandor 09:52, 10 March 2007 (UTC)