Matt Foley

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Matt Foley portrayed by Chris Farley
Matt Foley portrayed by Chris Farley

Matt Foley was a motivational speaker character created by Chris Farley on the American sketch comedy program Saturday Night Live (although he had performed the character in other comedy groups before being a cast member on Saturday Night Live). Essentially, Foley was the very antithesis of a good motivational speaker: abrasive, clumsy, and down on his luck. Farley's comedic energy was the driving force behind the character and the humor. Farley named the character after one of his college rugby union teammates of the same name, who is a Roman Catholic priest in Chicago and former pastor of St. Agnes of Bohemia in Chicago's Little Village. He is now serving as an army chaplain in Iraq. [1] The character was moderately popular, so much as to be carried over to a feature film. Although Farley's death in 1997 made it impossible, a film version with David Spade in a supporting role was planned in the last months of Farley's life.

Foley appeared in eight Saturday Night Live sketches, and the sketch usually started with Foley being brought into a specific situation by someone to speak to a group. In addition to appearing disheveled, overweight, and unstylish, he would yell, disparage, display cynicism, and give a clearly negative motivational message. Foley's trademark line was warning his audience that, like him, they could end up being "...35 years old, thrice divorced, and living in a van down by the river!" When members of his audience claimed any kind of accomplishment he would respond with a drippingly sarcastic "Well, la-dee-freakin-da!" or something similar. The sketch would often include Foley giving wildly exaggerated gestures and falling (or jumping) onto a piece of furniture, destroying it, or injuring himself in the process. At the end, he would usually be quickly herded out of his speaking location, where the people left behind would huddle together and comment on him, usually bemused and fearful. Though his speeches always backfired, the end results would usually be successful, in that the recipients did not want to be associated with Foley.


Contents

[edit] List of SNL episodes featuring Matt Foley

[edit] Quotes

  • Father (before Matt comes on): His name is Matt Foley. Now, he's been down in the basement drinking coffee for the about the last 4 hours.
  • Matt Foley (repeated line): I live in a VAN down by the river!
  • Matt Foley: Viva de Nueva York, ¡es Sábado Noche! (Translation: Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!)
  • Matt Foley: I don't know? Well, that and a nickel'll get you a nice hot cup OF JACK-SQUAT!
  • Matt Foley (on a bike): All right, all right, all right, I'll pedal! Let's all pedal everybody, make Evan happy! Here we go, pedaling away! All right everybody, you're on the road! Look over to the right. It's your first wife, Linda! High tail it out of there because you owe her three years' child support! Keep pedaling. All right, let's pull into Seven-Eleven and buy a microwave burrito! Okay, we're back on the road, there's your son's dorm! Let's sneak in, steal his student loan check, cash it, and head out lookin' for Asian hookers! Cause if there's one thing Matt likes, it's Hong Kong fuey, ha-ha! Ohhhh yeah!
  • Matt Foley: Dad, I'd wish you could just shut your big YAPPER!
  • Matt Foley: You'll have plenty of time to live in a Van down by the river when (pauses to think) you're livin' in a VAN down by the RIVER!
  • Matt Foley:(while furiously pumping his arms) Now you kids are probably asking yourselves 'Hey Matt how can we get back on the right track!?'
  • Matt Foley: Once, there was a boy who liked to throw things. He started out throwing eggs. Then, he threw the big game. Then, he threw back a shot of whiskey. Then he threw up. Then he got thrown out of the house, and then he moved into a van down by the river!
  • Matt Foley: Look at me, I'm throwing eggs! I'm the Eggman! Goo goo g'joob!
  • (David Spade): Matt, we were just havin' some fun.
    Matt Foley: So you had fun. How do you think the eggs felt? Hey, let's find out! I'll be you, and you be the eggs. Huh, how does that sound? (picks up Son #1) Hey look at this! I'm gonna throw some eggs around! Look at me go! (Falls backwards on table)
  • Matt Foley: You kids are probably saying to yourself, "Now, I'm gonna go out, and I'm gonna get the world by the tail and wrap it around pull it down and put it in my pocket!" Well, I'm here to tell you that you're probably gonna find out, as you go out there, that you're not gonna amount to JACK SQUAT!" You're gonna end up eating a steady diet of government cheese and living in a van down by the river!
  • Jay Mohr's character: Señor Foley, where'd you study Spanish, Taco Bell?
    Matt Foley: Muy cómico. Dios freakin' mío!
  • Matt Foley: (to the Venezuelan Father) Dad, kindly shut your damn flanhole!
  • Matt:"'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the van
    Your ol' buddy Matt fell asleep on the can.
    The children were nestled two time zones away
    With his first wife and her husband in sunny L.A..
    Matt woke up and realized, with a chill and a quiver,
    That he was livin' in a van down by the river!"
  • Matt Foley: Well, la-dee-FREAKIN-da!
  • Matt Foley: "You're gonna be doin' a lot of doobie rollin' when you're living in a van down by the river!"

[edit] Trivia

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The article could be improved by integrating relevant items and removing inappropriate ones.
  • Farley portrayed the Matt Foley character at the 1994 Rose Bowl banquet, delivering a comedic "motivational speech" to the Wisconsin Badgers football team, who were to face the UCLA Bruins that year. (Farley was a Madison, Wisconsin native.) His speech apparently worked: Wisconsin defeated UCLA 21-16.
  • In the first Matt Foley sketch, most of the actors had to restrain themselves from laughing. David Spade spent most of the sketch with his hand over his mouth to keep from bursting into laughter.

[edit] See also

[edit] External links