Talk:Mary Seacole
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[edit] GA review
I'll post detailed comments when I get time for a proper read-through. Looks pretty good at first sight. Jimfbleak (talk) 17:17, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
- Some bits unreffed, first example is Many of the residents were disabled European soldiers and sailors, often suffering from the endemic yellow fever. Here Seacole acquired her nursing skills. In her autobiography she records her early experiments in medicine: imitating her mother by ministering to a doll, then progressing to pets before helping her mother to treat humans. If this is covered by the previous ref, that should be moved, otherwise needs ref or removal
- Seacole returned to Jamaica in 1825. unreffed
- Unusually, in a time when mixed-race relationships were common but mixed-race marriages were rare, he was a white man, baptised in Prittlewell in Essex in 1803, the sixth son of Thomas Seacole and his first wife, Ann. reads oddly to me, could be rephrased
- traveled in the Caribbean "elsewhere in" perhaps -Jamaica is in the Caribbean
- mostly US Eng, but favoured - needs to be consistent
- I can only find favoured in the text twice, in the same section, both consistent. Rudget (review) 08:48, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
- Thousands of troops from all the countries concerned .... their prospects were little better when they arrived at the poorly-staffed, unsanitary and overcrowded hospital. did all the countries use the same hospital, or has the subject of the sentence changed half way through?
- Seacole was rightly concerned pov I think
- A careful copy edit would be helpful, especially as many sentences start with a subclause Hiring local labour the hotel was built from the salvaged driftwood, how can an unbuilt hotel hire local labour?
- Seacole often went out to the troops as a sutler, selling her wares near the British camp at Kadikoi, and attending to casualties brought out from the trenches around Sevastopol or from the Tchernaya valley. She was widely known to the British Army as "Mother Seacole". ref?
- Priced at 1s 6d a copy the cover... subclause prob again, was the cover sold separately?
- white leg surely must be linkable to something?? Deep vein thrombosis?
- Done Linked to thrombosis. Rudget (review) 09:05, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
- Seacole died in 1881 at her home in Paddington, London[90] the cause of death on her death was given as "apoplexy". too many deaths, ref not following any punctuation
- blue plaque section unreffed
- Note comments seem pointless, say it in the text, or leave it out
- Image:SeacoleWar.png presume self-made, if so, why not add that to its licence page
I've fixed a few minor bits, check that you are happy with the changes. This needs a careful copy edit for punctuation and meaning; sentences beginning with subclauses are a minefield for ambiguity (is this a tribute to Victorian Britain? (: ). It's pretty good otherwise, look forward to final version Jimfbleak (talk) 07:24, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
- re spelling, I didn't mean that "favoured" was inconsistently spelt within the article, but that it's the UK spelling, whereas "watercolor" and "traveling" are US, so you need to settle for one style. Given that the West Indies and UK use Brit spelling, that's probably more appropriate, but if you prefer US that's fine, as long as you stick to it throughout Jimfbleak (talk) 09:52, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Good Article nomination
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose): b (MoS):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- It is stable.
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
I made some final tweaks, mostly minor, but took out bit about American Red Cross since it appears to be unreffed, unexplained, not mentioned in that article and not intuitively obvious. If I've got it wrong, please restore.
If you intend to go to FAC, the text could stil do with a bit of work and further copyediting in places, good luck Jimfbleak (talk) 09:58, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks, you've been a wonderful GA reviewer to say the least. Regards, Rudget (review) 10:27, 7 April 2008 (UTC)