User:Malleus Fatuarum/WikiSpeak

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This is an essay; it contains the advice and/or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors. It is not a policy or guideline, and editors are not obliged to follow it.

Shortcut: WP:WIKISPEAK WP:FNORD

I chose the name WikiSpeak based on George Orwell's fictional language Newspeak, described in his novel Nineteen Eighty-Four as being "the only language in the world whose vocabulary gets smaller every year". As the essay developed, I came to realise that it owed at least as much to the pioneering work of Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary.

It is meant to be taken no more or less seriously than either of those two works. Please feel to contribute so long as you don't breach any of wikipedia's increasingly arcane and bizarre policies or guidelines

[edit] A

• administrator

• The be all, and end all of Wikipedia. Alpha and omega, the ultimate wikipedian. Administrators are the role models which all wikipedians should strive to emulate. They display superior intellect, outstanding article building abilities, captivating physical attractiveness and, above all, a stupendous and awe-inspiring modesty.

(If anyone removes this, I'll block them.)

• ! (exclamation mark)

• Used as a prefix to signify that whatever it is you actually did, you really did the exact opposite. For example !voting, means you're not voting even though you just did. Used preemptively to ward off having to later use allcap blue NPA and allcap blue civil when someone doesn't start their response with respect. Particularly useful for those charged with establishing consensus, as they are at liberty to ignore all !votes.

(Should be at the top, but I'm eager to avoid a justified, preventative block from an amazingly attractive admin.)

• A socially acceptable way of typing a Wiki-taboo word. Prefixing such a word by "!" makes the meaning understandable to the reader while still maintaining the appearance of social propriety. Comparable practices in the Victorian era included the use of "limb" in place of "leg" in polite conversation. Modern usage would encourage "!leg" instead of "limb".

• admin coaching

• One of the few ways to avoid the potentially fatal accusation of canvassing while still letting as many people as possible know that you will be initiating an RfA at the end of the month. Also designed to teach candidates the correct answers to the questions likely to be asked at their RfAs, even though nobody bothers to read the answers anyway.
• Quick and easy shortcut to finding quality RfA candidates to oppose.

• Administrators' noticeboard n.

• Not quite the Slough of Despond, but you can see it from there.

• Adopt-a-User

• A WikiProject where experienced wikipedians aim to help new editors get to grips with editing, by explaining to them why all their contributions have been removed and how many policies they've just violated.

• AfD n.

• A place to send an article you don't like.
• A place to send an article created by an editor you don't like.
• A place to send a potentially productive editor to spend his or her time with frivolous deletion arguments rather than with actual contributions.
• A training ground for RfA, according to your admin coach.
• A place to get someone else to add reliable sources to an article on a clearly notable subject.

• allcap blue civil

(appears on screen as such: CIVIL). Used in a similar way, often at the same time as, allcap blue NPA.

• American English

• A piece of text in which more than half of the words are spelt incorrectly.
• a gud eskoose fore ritin a simpsonz artikle withowt payin no attenshun too spellin typin grammer punkchooaishun or nothin stoopid like that, no wut i'm sayin?

• anorak

• Editor, typically male, who feels compelled to inflict as much boring detailed information and trivia as possible on the rest of the online population by writing articles on sheds, skips, the A215 road and all things railway-related. Named after their garment of choice which comes in a range of colours: from dull, boring browns and blues; to high-visibility fluorescent wear indicating the extent of their "anorak-ness", the ultimate being iridescent.

• assume good faith.

See good faith.

• Arbcom.

A committee of the best and brightest editors Wikipedia has to offer, who have have dedicated three years of their lives to discussing what punishments are appropriate for a motley band of typing students, critics and friends of gays. Combines the role of CenCom with the efficiency of WorldCom.

• article

A motley collection of boring, vague lies, sometimes punctuated by extremely useful and interesting images from Commons.

• article assessment n.

• An additional facility offered for the use of editors who find the current facilities of edit warring, content disputes, and personal attacks insufficient in their scope for fruitful action. Periodically, the logic and the structure of article assessment is overhauled with more elaborate yet vague and unspecified schemes to allow editors even more scope to spice up their jaded argumentation skills.

• Also a great way to up an edit count (see RfA) and get barnstars.

• attack site

• Any website that's ever said anything rude about you. Sometimes called a BADSITE.

• automated tools

• When used by an administrator, a valuable time-saving device to automate tedious, repetitive tasks.
• When used by a non-administrator, an abusive mechanism to artificially boost edit count. Note that without the luxury of being able to delete the warning pages you accidentally create, it is impossible for a non-admin to hide the fact that they're doing an inept job.

[edit] B

• bad

• A degenerate form of I'm sorry, as in my bad. Intended to give the impression that the user is cool, hip and fully up-to-date with the latest WikiSlang. In reality it indicates that the user is probably still in school and struggling with basic English grammar. Or American.
• Anything you don't agree with.

• barnstar

• A way of telling an editor that you hate them and are jealous of their contributions without being blocked.
• Something highly active users give to their friends.

• "be bold"

• An exhortation made by established editors to encourage newcomers to go ahead and make a bunch of stupid mistakes, so that they can then be indefinitely blocked with impunity.

• block

• The means by which an uninvolved admin prevents an editor from answering back. See also indefblock.

• BLP (sometimes allcap blue BLP)

• The best reason to revert an edit by an editor you don't like on an article about someone in popular culture you've never heard of.

• bot.

• Automated editing tool used by someone whose edit count is already over 10,000. N.B. Wikipedia's rules on vandalism, "templating the regulars", civility, and nearly everything else do not apply if you get your bot to do it.

• British English n.

• A reason to fail a Featured or Good Article candidate.
• Something to revert on sight with the edit summary "correcting spelling". Particularly useful on slow days, when there hasn't been much action on the talk page or at WP:ANI.

• bureaucrat

• An administrator so bland that they haven't managed to upset anyone.
• See red tape.

[edit] C

• cabal n.

• A collective noun for everyone you don't like. It doesn't exist, by the way, as has been clearly demonstrated by a number of uninvolved editors.
• Any group in agreement about something whose opinion differs from yours.

• category n.

• A way to slip unreferenced assertions into an article without anyone asking too many awkward questions.

• charity n.

• An organisation run by a small clique of friends, who despite being "unpaid" earn huge amounts from speaking engagements based solely on their position.

• citation n.

• A reference to an obscure article which contains some of the same words you used to state your opinion, but not necessarily in the same order.

• cite v.

• To add a citation to your statement of opinion, thus ensuring the statement's subsequent removal can be legitimately reverted.

• civility

• The state of grace two editors achieve when they are in agreement with one another.
• A common inspiration for accusation, abuse, and insult. A tempting occasion for hypocrisy without consequence. A quality, the alleged absence of which has occasioned some of the most rancorous fights in the history of Wikipedia. The phlogiston of noticeboard discourse and combustion.

• {{cleanup}}

• A tag added to an article when you don't like the creator's writing style or POV, but can't immediately think of a criterion under which it can be speedily deleted.

• clue n.

• Well, if you have to ask you obviously haven't got one.
• Essence of wet trout, medicinal doses of which are occasionally administered automatically by ClueBot.

• ClueBot n.

• Wikipedia's scarecrow.

• collaborate v.

• To agree to work productively with another editor, following ten talk-page threads, nine reports to ANI, eight RfCs, seven wheel wars over page protection, six community bans, five ArbCom cases, four indef blocks, three requests for mediation, two angry blog posts, and a partridge in a pear tree.

• collaboration n.

• One editor stealing another's article.
• Two WikiProjects claiming ownership of the same article.

• Commons

• A website where editors who have annoyed too many people on Wikipedia for anyone to listen to them, but are too boring to be blocked, go to discuss poorly-made amateur pornography and blurred photographs of disused buses.

• common sense n.

• Shorthand for "My opinion is this, and I don't want to justify it, so I'll try and get my retaliation in first against anyone who objects to it by beliittling their objection now."
• A quality of an expressed opinion which currently would often be more correctly categorized as common nonsense, and into which the quality of uncommon sense should strive to change.

• communication v.

• The act of templating an editor's talk page to tell them that their article or image is about to be deleted.

• conflict of interest

• Editing an article on any subject that you actually understand.

• consensus

• One of the three states that can be reached at the end of a discussion after all parties have become thoroughly fed up with it; the alternatives are no consensus or for pity's sake, I wish I'd never gotten involved in this. Consensus is calculated by counting the votes on either side of the debate, remembering that each vote cast by an editor with whom you are on good terms should be counted at least twice.

• content dispute

• See harassment (whichever editor has the lower edit count is the harasser).

• contributor n.

• An editor to be {{welcome}}d (qv) and subsequently patronised. Obviously of no value to the project because he or she is distracted into improving articles, instead of participating in the noticeboards or other similarly useful symposia.

• controversial administrator

• Batshit insane administrator.

• controversial editor

• Blocked editor. See block.

• Cool-down blocks

• 97.4% of all blocks are issued as cool-down blocks. Please note, it is strictly against Wikipedia policy to call them this. You will indeed swiftly fail an RfA if you, at anytime, misuse the acronym WP:CDB.
• Wikipedia's equivalent of the brank, or Scold's bridle. When removed, expect the scolding to continue, at a higher pitch and intensity – and hotter than ever.

• copyedit v.

• To make an article unrecognisable by changing all the spellings and paraphrasing in a manner that makes it clear you don't understand it at all.

• ~cruft

• Suffix applied to anything you don't like, as in Listcruft, or Linkcruft

[edit] D

• dash n.

The most important aspect of an article. Anyone reading through, for example, the featured article on the main page, will carefully note each of the dashes, and suffer a mental breakdown if an en dash is used instead of an em dash, a hyphen is used instead of an en dash, or even worse, an em dash — which looks like this — is spaced.

• dedicated wikipedian

• Editor without a girlfriend.
• Editor soon to be without a girlfriend.
• Editor who is too young to know what a girlfriend is.

See wikipedian.

• developer.

• A member of the true inner cabal. Those with all the powers, but whose names appear in no rights logs.

• diff n.

• Something you add to an argument to prove your point in a discussion, thereby winning over other editors and boosting the vote count in your favor. It doesn't matter what you add, no one reads them. More diffs = more credibility.

• discussion n.

• A vote.
• A !vote.

• disruption/disruptive editing n.

• Editing an article that someone else already edited.

[edit] E

• edit n.

• Some typing, followed by a mouse click. After a short delay, a reversion, an outburst of wrath, and a noticeboard thread. Often followed by a block.

• edit count n.

• The true measure of an editor. Users with a high edit count are definitely on the fast track to adminship. However, if this edit count was obtained by evil, despicable means such as using automated tools, then the user clearly needs to be humiliated for such iniquities at RfA.

• edit summary n.

• A creative opportunity to simultaneously insult the previous editor, continue the talk page dispute, and place the verisimilitude of your edit beyond any reasonable doubt, in 200 characters or less.

• edit war n. & v.

• Repeatedly replacing the current error with the previous error.

• editor review n

• A social networking service aimed at matching up masochists with sadists for their mutual enjoyment and satisfaction. Nowadays, the service is becoming very subtle yet still potentially powerful, with many requests for editor review being satisfied by deliberately not providing any matches, thus still satisfying both parties.

• election n.

• Everyone votes on candidates, and then Jimbo chooses the winner(s) regardless of number of votes won. Not to be confused with erection, which is an important concept on Commons.

• encyclopedia n.

• A work containing a detailed analysis of every episode of The Simpsons.

• encyclopedic adj.
  • English: Comprehensive, complete, thorough, exhaustive. Example "Dekkappai's knowledge of Japanese erotic cinema is truly encyclopedic. You can't name an actress, film, or director in the area he doesn't know. Malleus Fatuarum, on the other hand, knows nothing about the subject. His knowledge of the subject is most assuredly not encyclopedic."
  • WikiSpeak: Limited, censored, excluded. Particularly with reference to subjects of which the writer disapproves. Example "'Japanese erotic cinema?' Huh? Porn, you mean! NOT ENCYCLOPEDIC! Delete!!!"

• essay n.

• A carefully-written userspace rant monograph setting out notions either so obviously lunatic, or so eminently sensible, that they will never become policy.

• exclusionist n.

• An editor who believes that nothing is a worthy subject for a Wikipedia article (including nothing). See also inclusionist.

• expert n.

• An editor who has lied about his or her qualifications.
  • ... especially if they'd lied about it in an interview with The New Yorker.

• expertise n.

• See conflict of interest.

• external link n.

• A hyperlink that directs a reader to a website that doesn't have the word "wiki" in it. Many articles thoughtfully incorporate a dedicated section for these, where you can add external links to your website, blog, myspace page, school, or the site you copied the article content from. See also reliable source.

[edit] F

• FAC n.

• Lamb to the slaughter. See also GAN.

• FAC reviewer n.

• Abusive editor.

• {{fact}} n.

• I thought about checking this, but couldn't be arsed.

• fair use adj.

• Picture you got from the Internet that you think is cool. See also unfair use.

• featured article n.

• Boring article with more than two pictures. See also good article.
• The very best that Wikipedia has to offer on a wide range of subjects.
• An article that retains none of the nominator's writing style or flair following the onslaught of FAC reviewers. See good article.

• featured article candidate n.

• A well-written and well-referenced article that gets re-written and re-referenced because the reviewers are envious of the nominator's superior writing style, and can't be bothered to get hold of the sources to check them for themselves.

• featured article process n.

• A black hole formed from the collapsed enthusiasm of the editors whose work has been mercilessly criticised by one or more FAC reviewers.
• An example of the law of diminishing returns.

• find my secret page

• "I am too ugly for Facebook and the coding on Myspace looks complicated". In the case of any userpage in which the phrase "Congratulations, you found my secret page" occurs more than three times, the E-meter (see userboxes) is automatically set to zero.

• fnord

• See WP:FNORD.

• for the record

• We have a record, it's called page history. No need to repeat something you've already said "for the record".

• founder n.

• Jimmy Wales. Anyone who says otherwise is not WP:AGF.

• Friendly

• An automated tool for reverting vandalism and templating n00bs. Called Friendly to avoid personally attacking, and to spite new users. Synonym:  !Twinkle.

[edit] G

• GAN n.

• Sheep to the shearing. See also FAC.

• good article n.

• Boring article with more than two pictures written by an editor who's recently had an argument with somebody active at featured article candidates.
• An article that retains very little of the nominator's writing style or flair following the onslaught of GAC reviewers. See featured article.

• good article candidate n.

• An article you've asked one of your friends to pass. See featured article candidate.

• good faith n.

• A blind and uncritical acceptance of whatever nonsense the editor asking you to assume good faith has presented. n.b. Questioning another editor's good faith will always result in a response that to so question is bad faith. To point out that pointing out your questioning of the other editor's faith is bad faith is in itself bad faith, and will result in blocking.
• Just admit I am right and be on your way.

• good faith block n.

Only about 2.6% of blocks are good faith blocks, so in the unlikely event of you stumbling across one be sure to quickly:

• add "endorse" to the talkpage of the editor who has been blocked, thereby getting some of the credit for the block, and then immediately
• go to WP:AN to share your firm grasp of blocking policy by emphasizing that you tried to do the block yourself, but were "beat to it". Use lots of ALLCAPs, and add random diffs to things as evidence of the appropriateness of the block. (Don't worry about where the diffs go, no one clicks on them anyway.)

• Google

• Wikipedia mark II.

• guideline n.

• A policy that can usually be ignored.

[edit] H

• harassment

• The Swiss Army knife of WikiSpeak. Covers most things, from real-life sexually motivated stalking to pointing out flawed logic or even pressing the "edit this page" button.

• highly active user

• Any user under the age of 14 or anyone who is unemployed.

• Huggle

• Rollback that has washed down the crack-cocaine with a redbull. It's that quick.

• humor

• Obscure in-joke nobody except you thinks is remotely funny.

[edit] I

• IDONTLIKEIT

• An incredibly valuable !policy for use in AfD debate. Quoting IDONTLIKEIT instantly exposes the complete lack of merit in any exclusionist arguments for the deletion of an article you like, and establishes your credentials as a) an AfD insider, and b) a dedicated wikipedian. Unless the nominator is an admin, in which case the correct procedure is to vote "per nom". See also ILIKEIT.

• ILIKEIT

• An incredibly valuable !policy for use in AfD debate. Quoting ILIKEIT instantly exposes the complete lack of merit in any inclusionist arguments for the retention of an article you don't like, and establishes your credentials as a) an AfD insider, b) a dedicated wikipedian, and c) potential Administrator material. See also IDONTLIKEIT.

• Ignore All Rules

• Ignore all rules except the ones I agree with, which it is a blockable offense to ignore. See also block.

• image

• Wikipedia's most efficient method of preventing novice editors from editing articles. In the futile hope that one day he/she will provide an image that will not be deleted, the novice is kept busy though a Sisyphus-like process of studying ever-changing, but strictly-enforced guidelines, finding and/or creating images, uploading them and then witnessing their deletion. Once an aspiring editor comes to the realisation that Wikipedia simply does not accept images, he/she has become an editor in good standing, and ready to proceed to the next stage of Wikipedia editor maturity: the AfD.

• Immaturity

• A negative character trait shared by every poopy-pants pee-pee head who disagrees with you. See also maturity.

• incivility

• See uncivil.

• inclusionist

• An editor who believes that every atom in the universe, and every possible combination thereof, deserves its own article. See also exclusionist.

• indefblock

• A technical measure to prevent an editor from ever answering back again, as a result of having said something rude about an administrator or one of his friends.

• in popular culture

• In Family Guy.
• A section provided in articles about music for you to show everyone how clever you were to recognise [insert piece of music] (or something that sounded a bit like it) on the soundtrack when you were playing [insert computer game] or watching [insert film or television program].

• involved admin

• The accused. See also uninvolved admin.

• IP editor

• Vandal. It is quite safe to revert the edits of any unregistered user and issue a warning – even if not obvious vandalism – as nobody will listen to their explanation anyway.

[edit] J

• Jimmy Wales

• User who averages less than 100 mainspace edits a year, has made fewer contributions in seven years than a reasonably experienced user can make in a week and has not held any position for more than a year, but nonetheless knows better than you what the current issues affecting Wikipedia are.
• Heir to the British throne (after Charles, William and Harry Wales).

• just a guideline, not policy

• A valuable insight provided by experts in policy. See also guideline.

[edit] K

• Kid in Africa, the

• Wikipedia's target user. Despite having to walk three miles each day to get fresh water, then work for 12 hours in the fields, the Kid in Africa nevertheless owns a computer with a fast ADSL connection and has a burning desire to know exactly when Brigg railway station was opened.

[edit] L

• link n.

• A means of adding colour to a dull and dreary article.
• A means of escape from a dull and dreary article.

• linkspam n.

• External link added by an editor you don't like. See also unreliable source.

[edit] M

• mailing list

• (public) A place you can rant and attack other editors with colourful terms since no one reads them.
• (private) A place you can plot with your fellow cabalists on which editor to ban next.

• Manual of Style

• A random collection of personal opinions, prejudices, and arbitrary rules. Thankfully, nobody has to abide by it, because it's just a guideline, not policy.

• maturity

• A positive character trait shared by everyone who agrees with you.

• meatpuppet

• Anyone who agrees with anyone.

• mentoring n

• A means by which control freaks can indulge their passion under the guise of formally assisting and guiding editors in their use of wikipedia.

• minor edit n.

• Any edit you don't want anyone else to examine too closely.

• MfD n.

• A place to send essays like this one.

• moral support

• I think you're an idiot and I refuse to honor you with so much as a serious oppose.
• Ten other people already think you're an idiot and I want to be the one person here who doesn't get flamed.

[edit] N

• neologism n.

A term nobody had ever heard before until Wikipedia popularised it.

• nomination statement n.

A statement in which the the nominator foresees all possible concerns (i.e. "I know many people will think that this is a bad faith nomination ...", "I know some might say this article isn't suitably referenced for FA ...", ad nauseum). This obviously turns the concerns into ludicrous nonsense, and anyone bringing them up is assuming bad faith.

• nominator n.

• Incurable optimist.
• Inexperienced first-timer: unwitting, innocent lamb to the slaughter.
• Experienced veteran: possesses the skin of a rhinoceros and balls of steel.
• Masochist (can be associated with either of the previous two).

• non-notable adj.

• I've never heard of it.
• It doesn't come up on the first page of a Google search.

• n00b n.

• Anyone with fewer edits than you, thereby making them clearly incorrect and making you intellectually superior.

• notable adj.

• Mentioned on The Simpsons, Family Guy, or is a part of Star Wars.
• Lots of google hits, now cutely called 'ghits' (like 'gits', (snigger)).

• noticeboard n.

• A place for public punishment, humiliation, and shaming: Wikipedia's equivalent of the cucking-stool or stocks. Noticeboards are also popular venues for entertainment, as those who initiate an action, intending to have another editor pilloried, often end up in the drink themselves.

• NPOV n.

• The point of view of the last editor who edited the article.
• The point of view of any editor who has access to the block button. See administrator.

[edit] O

• oppose

• I wouldn't have written the article like that, so it's obviously crap. See featured article.
• I don't like you, so I'm going to make up a reason to oppose your RfA.
• Prima facie - 'Nuff said.

• original research

• Personal knowledge, also known as The Truth. Not to be confused with expertise.
• Anything not directly plagiarised.

• OTHERSTUFFEXISTS

• Often used at AfD debates. In this context means that the articles I like and want to keep should not be risked by you in defence of an article that I don't like.

• oversight

• An ingenious measure to remind administrators that their power is limited, and to deny them the pleasure of reading the really juicy stuff reserved for the developers.

• ownership

• See talk page!

[edit] P

• penis

• A meaningless word, often inappropriately thrust into Wikipedia articles. By the time those responsible have discovered the thing's proper uses, another crop of naïve penis-inserters has arrived. Bless them: it is thus that the cycle of Wikipedia life continues.

• per nom

• I have strong feelings about this, but I don't want the grief that will follow by typing any more than these six letters and four tildes.
• I don't have strong feelings about this, but the nom is a friend of mine, and is never wrong.
• I don't have strong feelings about this and I have no idea what I'm doing, but my admin coach told me to contribute more in Wikipedia space.

• personal attack

• A wide ranging term intended to be used liberally whenever someone points out a fault in your logic, presentation, article quality, or other action on Wikipedia without prefacing it by with respect. If an editor decides not to start their post to your talkpage with with respect, and indeed says I think you're talking bollox, then you can return fire with please refrain from personal attacks. Appears on screen often as WP:NPA. See also allcap blue civil.

• POINT

• When in black: "You have made a statement I totally agree with."; when in blue: "You have made a statement I disagee with, and I therefore wish to disparage you and indicate your opinion is worthless, by linking to an essay I have barely read and certainly do not understand."

• pointy

• Belligerent. To use the word belligerent though would obviously be a personal attack.

• policy

• A growing collection of weapons to aid you in the fight against the forces of evil.

• POV pushing

• Shorthand term for "I don't agree with you, but I have no arguments." Its nuanced meaning can vary from "POV pushing" to the quasi-synonymous "NPOV pushing". Used exclusively by POV pushers. See also NPOV.

• preventative

• Punitive. Often used in conjunction with block, as in preventative block. If you ever find yourself in disagreement with an administrator, unless you surrender immediately, a preventative block is almost inevitable.

• preview button n.

• A button, provided for the unadventurous, that lets you see the likely consequences of your disruptive edit before you submit it.

• process creep

• The tendency of wikipedia policies to become more complicated over time. Process creep is greatly encouraged, as it gives administrators something to do to make themselves feel important, as well as providing excuses to block people they don't like for failure to understand the policies. If processes still worked like this instead of like this, people might spend more time writing articles, and Wikipedia might run out of server space.

• punitive

• Synonym for preventative, signal word for useless protest. Sometimes wrongly spelt "punative".

[edit] Q

[edit] R

• RBI n.

• An indefinite banning of an editor who mistakenly made three dubious edits in a row, and whose appeal for an unblock will safely fall on deaf ears.

• reasoned argument n

• This is a portion of text written by an editor that begins with something so innocuous and self-evidentally true it hardly seems worthwhile mentioning. Then, by a series of logical manouvres, transformations, and manipulations, each one of which everyone thinks uncontroversial, it gets transformed into a conclusion so fantastic and outlandish that no one can accept it. Often used by editors acting in a "devil's advocate" role to persuade people to reject critical thinking as a tool that can help resolve disputes on wikipedia.

• red tape n.

• See bureaucrat.

• reliable source

Any source, no matter how insignificant, that agrees with you. See also unreliable source.

• respect n.

• Often used as in with respect, or with all due respect, euphemisms for I think you're talking bollox. Most frequently seen in the postings of editors with aspirations to become an administrator, or those who do not have the courage to say I think you're talking bollox.

• revert v. & n.

• —v. To correct the well-meaning but misguided efforts of less experienced editors by restoring an article to its most accurate version (i.e. the condition it was in following your last edit).
• —n. The source of Wikipedia's most productive editor interactions, the products being edit wars, blocks, and protracted reports on the Administrators' noticeboard.

• RfA n.

• An institutionalised process of ritual humiliation that every candidate applying for access to the administrator tools is required to endure. In many ways identical to an RfC, with the exception that the RfA is often more harrowing for the examinee, who, having done nothing uncivil to warrant the examination, is expected to continue acting in a civil manner ... unlike the subject of an RfC. Wikipedians submit to the process because it is the final trial before becoming an administrator. For RfA-like rituals in non-Wiki cultures, see: Flyting, The dozens, Sun Dance, "yo mama so fat...", and admissions.
• The process by which Wikipedia separates the merely good editors from the good editors who also have an uncontrollable lust for power.

• RfC n.

• (editor conduct) A place to bring anyone you have a longstanding grudge against. There, they'll be subject to countless attacks by uninvolved editors (also known as "outside views") and generally be tortured until they agree to submit to your every whim. This is, of course, unless they are a popular editor, in which case the RfC will be dismissed as bad faith and you blocked indefinitely for some purportedly unrelated reason.
• (content dispute) A place where editors who know absolutely nothing about the subject chime in in an attempt to destroy an article further.

• rollback n.

• A tool that reverts edits quickly. Its almost mythical status is based on the fact that only administrators can grant rollback. As a result, it is seen as a trophy, an award, a line on the resumé that virtually guarantees a successful RfA.

[edit] S

• "Save page" button

• Sets in motion a bizarre sequence of events which, by strange quirks of fate, ultimately lead to either a block (see also edit), or purgatory RfA.

• "Show changes" button

• Reveals the extent of the productive work put in by others on the same article while you have spent 25 minutes deliberating one stupid minor edit.

• signature n.

• The primary means of identifying the perpetrator editor. Ideally a "sig" should contain links to at least five other pages, bear no relation to the Username originally registered, and occupy no less than 40% of the edit window as viewed on a widescreen VDU. Bonus points if one of the links is to an autographs page, and the sig changes more than twice a day. See also highly active user.

• SPA

• New user who expresses an opinion that you dislike.

• sockpuppet

• Anyone who agrees with someone who disagrees with you.

• spam

• Any article about a company or product you've never heard of. These articles can be dealt with in one of three ways:

• If the article is unreferenced, it can be safely deleted as nobody will bother to check how important it is.
• If the article is referenced, it can be safely deleted and the author blocked for adding external links.
• If the article is referenced and well-written but you've either never heard of, or don't like, the author, it can be deleted and the author tagged as suspected sockpuppet of MyWikiBiz.

• speedy deletion (or WP:CSD)

• Where you send articles that are created by red usernames. Double bonus points for also changing their red talkpage to blue with your deletion warning template.
• Using automated tools to tag articles for deletion as soon as they are created, thus boosting your edit count and showing your worthiness to be an administrator. There are many categories, most of which mean that the article just doesn't look right somehow.

• start-class article n.

• A stub with some references and an image. Often accompanied by a refimprove notice.

• stub n.

• Selection of words more or less relevant to the subject, in no particular order. Punctuation optional, no references or images. Often accompanied by an AfD notice.
• A means of turning a red link temporarily blue.

• sum of all human knowledge adj.

• Descriptive of the ultimate aim of Wikipedia. Regretfully, the vast majority of human knowledge is not, in actual fact, of interest to anyone, and the benefit of recording this collective total is dubious at best.
• 41½ (Not quite 42 which is the answer to the ultimate question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.)

[edit] T

• tag n. & v.

• Permissible vandalism.

• talk page n.

• A discussion page which accompanies every article on Wikipedia. While intended to be a forum for discussing improvements to the article, it really should only be used after extensive edit warring, indef bans, full article protection, six weeks of wheel warring, ArbCom, and if possible, Wikimedia's lawyers, have all failed to resolve the conflict.

• tenditious adj.

• Least-used word in Wikipedia mainspace (two counts only, but plenty in userspace), closely followed by "sorry". Can be used with impunity to make the user appear intelligent, to impress during an RfA, or to win any argument since most editors have never heard of the word, and never question its meaning for fear of appearing thick.
• One of the words used by editors who wish to appear profound but merely end up being obscure. Fortunately, because most people miscategorize obscurity as profundity, and furthermore, don't wish to reveal their true level of intelligence (see previous meaning), the tactic of using the word goes unchallenged.
• Alternative word for Americans those who can't spell "tendentious".

• trolling

• Disagreeing with someone who has a higher edit count than you, or who has been on wikipedia longer than you.

• trollish adj.

• Insufficiently meek.

• trust n

• A necessary requirement that editors should have in a candidate who has been nominated for adminship. Because it is necessary, it is neither defined nor expanded upon, because we all have trust in each other to know instinctively what it means in the context of wikipedia, and we all know that we speak with one voice here. Not to be mistaken with "trussed"–which is what wikipedia would be, having had "red tape" used against it if, as some say, we tried to make clear the nature of trust to assist and inform us in appointing administrators.

• truth

• Obvious bollox, and as a POV pusher you are rightly subject to ridicule if you believe in truth.

• truthiness n.

• The closest a highly active user who speaks American English can get to the word "truthfulness".

• tweak n.

Used as an edit summary when:

• the description would be significantly more complex and lengthy than the edit itself.
• you don't know how to describe your edit.
• you just couldn't be bothered.
• you don't wish to take the opportunity to simultaneously insult the previous editor, continue the talk page dispute, and place the verisimilitude of your edit beyond any reasonable doubt, in 200 characters or less. See also edit summary.

[edit] U

• uncivil adj.

• Did you get here by following the link from incivility? If I'd told you to put your hand in the fire, would you have done that as well? What's happened to the education system so much of our taxes are spent on, when people like you still can't think for themselves?

• unencyclopedic adj.

• I don't like it.

• unfair use adj. or n.

• Image uploaded by someone you don't like.
• Image you think is porn.

• uninvolved admin n.

• See involved admin.

• uninvolved editor n.

• My friend.

• unreliable source n.

• Any source, no matter how significant, that disagrees with you.
• Any source that it would require more than 30 seconds of effort to verify. Example: "The Moving Metropolis isn't in my school library. Therefore it is not a reliable source for articles about public transportation." (Note: this conversation really happened) (Also known as Print source)

• unsourced

A tag to put at the top of articles on subjects of which you disapprove. The existence of sourcing at the article is irrelevant, if not a provocation.

• userbox n.

Wikipedia's equivalent of the E-meter, which enables the usefulness of an editor to be measured scientifically. The proportion of any given editor's userpage taken up by userboxes is in a perfect inverse relationship to the probability of any given edit made by this editor being useful. Some commonly found userboxes and their meanings are:

• This user is female. This user is male.
• This user is male. This user is 12.
• This user is an administrator. Go vandalise someone else's userpage.
• This user is not a wikipedia administrator.

• This user desperately wants to be a wikipedia administrator but realises that self-nominations always fail and hopes you'll take the hint.
• This user failed an RfA under very acrimonious circumstances.

• This user is not a wikipedia administrator, but would like to be one some day. This user will never be a wikipedia administrator.
• This user is not a wikipedia administrator and does not want to be one. This user has a will to live.
• This user is an expert wikipedia editor. This user makes messes for expert wikipedia editors to clean up.
• This user performs non-admin closures at articles for deletion. This user makes messes for expert wikipedia editors to clean up.
• This user is a member of the Counter Vandalism Unit. This user makes messes for expert wikipedia editors to clean up.
• This user is a member of the League of Copy Editors. This user makes messes for expert wikipedia editors to clean up.
• This user identifies as a fascist. This user is a journalist who has realised that their "my month on wikipedia" article is going nowhere and desperately hopes someone will start a flamewar.

[edit] V

• V1.0 n.

• An attempt to prove that it is possible to nail jelly to a wall.

• vandal n.

• An editor with less than 100 edits and an opinion. Excellent candidate for a cool down block. Should help them realize that everything they've done was silly and wrong, and will most likely make them into a valuable and constructive editor in no time.

• vandalism n.

• Knowingly and willingly adding nonsense to, or removing content or images from, Wikipedia; met with severe penalties unless done by a bot, in which case it usually leads to Adminship.
• A term used by deletionists when any non-U.S. pop culture material, or U.S pop culture older than 1995, is added to an article.

• voting n.

• A process that interferes with achieving consensus, as it does not allow the proper weighting to be given to the votes cast by those editors with whom you are on good terms. It is therefore deprecated and considered evil.

[edit] W

• {{welcome}}

• A template that earns you a barnstar when it's added numerous times with an automated tool.

• "What Wikipedia is not" policy

• For established editors, this is a useful list of the sort of content Wikipedia discourages in an attempt to help Wikipedia attain its goal of becoming an anonymously-written, third-rate imitation of Encyclopædia Britannica, without the superfluous articles on the less-notable U.S. Presidents, and people like Lee Harvey Oswald, whose claim to fame is based on one event.
• For IP editors, this is a Kafkaesque list devised by neo-Nazi book-burners with the specific aim of preventing them from writing about the garage band in which they played tambourine for a summer during high school.

• wiki

An online content model that was first proposed by Alexander the Great (or so the propagandists tell us). It's a highly effective model allowing splendid things such as vandalism and biased articles.

• Wikibreak n.

• A voluntary period of abstinence from Wikipedia, taken for any of a number of reasons. These could include:

• a cock-up so monumental that, were the editor responsible not friends with at least three admins, they would already be indefblocked.
• a desire for time devoted to quiet reflection, therapy, or heavy substance abuse, in the aftermath of one of Wikipedia's community review processes. See also AfD, FAC, GAN, RfA, Wikistress.
• a lack of internet access, perhaps whilst on holiday. See also the Kid in Africa.

• {{Wikibreak}} n.

• Hold on, I need to use the bathroom, I'll be back in a minute.

• wiki-drama (alt. Teh DRAMAZ, Teh DRAHMA). n.

• A discussion that you're losing by being out-consensussed.

• wikilawyer n.

• An editor who strictly enforces all Wikipedia policies, including guidelines and essays, which to a wikilawyer, are just mislabelled policies. One exception is IAR, which is ironically ignored not enforced. The worst possible thing you can do is call a wikilawyer a wikilawyer. Recommend instead using !wikilawyer.

• WikiLove n.

• A general spirit of collegiality and mutual understanding among wiki users, more often than not freely spread by editors on illillegal shubstanances ... hee hee! Damn, thish ish gooood shit!

• wikimarkup n.

• A mechanism by which the simplest text may be rendered almost impossible to edit.

• Wikipedia n.

• A sandcastle on the shore of the sea of time. Within play dramas on miniature stages, the actors argue over the exact position of each grain of sand, unaware of the approaching tide.
• A unique experiment in collaborative editing, invented in 2001 by Larry Sanger and Jimmy Wales. The name is derived from the Hawaiian wiki, "edited at high speed", and the Greek παῖdh, "by children".
• Evidence that an infinite number of monkeys at an infinite number of keyboards may not produce the complete works of Shakespeare, but will certainly produce an ever growing pile of monkey shit.
• The first recorded attempt to compile an encyclopedia by giving the organisation's janitors the ability to terminate its writers.

• "Wikipedia is not a bureaucracy"

A mantra. Helps to alleviate the oppressive feeling of futility that bureaucracy inevitably engenders.

• "Wikipedia is not a democracy" policy statement

A democracy is a system in which the majority is persuaded through a complex system of lies, half-truths, bait-and-switching, wedge-issues, and diversion into putting into power incompetent, arrogant and power-hungry leaders who harm the society they are supposed to benefit. Wikipedia, on the other hand, is a system in which consensus is persuaded through a complex system of lies, half-truths, bait-and-switching, wedge-issues, and diversion into putting into power incompetent, arrogant and power-hungry leaders who harm the society they are supposed to benefit.

• Wikipedian n.

• Free labour.
• A bored refugee from Yahoo!'s now-defunct flame-war boards.

• WikiProject n.

• A group of like-minded editors, who have come together in a spirit of collaboration to ensure that those articles within their interest are well-maintained, accurate, and cannot be successfully edited by anyone else.

• wiki-stalking v.

• Checking someone's contributions to see if the error you found in one article is repeated elsewhere.

• Wikistress n.

• Insanity
• A feeling of angst, grumpiness and the need to listen to Emo after someone deletes your page.
• A feeling admins have the power to inflict upon anyone they choose as well as themselves. This can be from a speedy delete to a flame war.
• Slang term for WikiLove.

[edit] X

[edit] Y

[edit] Z

• administrator n.

That's right. Like I said, alpha and omega. If anyone puts anything below this entry, I'll block 'em.