MADtv recurring characters
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This article contains synopses for many of the more noteworthy recurring characters that have appeared on the sketch comedy television series MADtv.
[edit] Current
[edit] Stuart Larkin
Stuart Douglas Larkin (Michael McDonald) is a little boy with a constantly dazed and vacant look on his face. His wacky, borderline alcoholic mother, Doreen (Mo Collins), nags and scolds him for getting into mischief. For example, he is often seen eating different junk foods, and when his mother inquires about them, he simply replies that he found them on the floor, then shoves them in his mouth.
Stuart's childhood traumas, such as his father leaving the family, are often mentioned. Once Stuart said, "Mommy, Daddy called", and his mother, quavering, replies, "What did he say?" Stuart replies, "He said he's glad to be out of this hellhole." No matter when the sketch takes place, Stuart's dad has always left the previous Tuesday.
Stuart's catchphrases are "Look what I can do!" (and his subsequent break into an awkward, spasm-like flourish, once referred to as a dipsy-doodle), and "Let me do it!" (when an adult attempts to assist him with something; he often follows this with "Dooooon't" when said adult tries again). Stuart tends to push anyone who he doesn't want near him with his legs, he lays on the floor and uses his long legs to keep them away from him, sometimes using a violent push (for example when he pushed the tooth fairy, played by Susan Sarandon, and making her fall on a beanbag. Another example is when he pushes his doctor, played by Nicole Sullivan, and throwing her out of a window when he realized she had given him a vaccine). Stuart occasionally refers to his genital area as his "danger zone," or refers to his genitals specifically as his "googoo." When pushed too far, his boyish falsetto is replaced by a deep, demonic voice. This voice is used when Stuart enters his "dark place", a glimpse into Stuart's inner turmoil.
Several skits showed Stuart annoying his neighbor, Harvey Makenthaler (Paul Vogt). Stuart's original name was "Scott"; his middle name is Douglas.
Since Mo Collins left the show, Stuart has appeared in only one sketch per season.
[edit] Marvin Tikvah
Marvin Tikvah (Michael McDonald) is a lecherous Jewish film director with a predilection for prostitutes, cocaine and odd combinations of food. Marvin's children have appeared on the show: Mindy (Nicole Sullivan) is Marvin's oldest daughter; his other daughter is Michelle (Alex Borstein). (Borstein also appeared as Marvin's wife, Shelly.) Marvin also has a son, Sheldon (Ike Barinholtz). Mo Collins played several characters named Shelly; all were different and had some relationship to Marvin (doctor, fitness trainer, personal assistant). Marvin's catchphrase is, "Come on Push It Out The Other End!" or "Shelly...come on!"
[edit] The Depressed Persian Tow Truck Man
Mofaz the Depressed Persian Tow Truck Man (Michael McDonald) scoffs when his customers complain about their problems. He describes his miserable life, inadvertently making them feel better about themselves. Mofaz' complaints involve his job, his nagging kids, his cruel and violent parents, his grotesque, unfaithful wife, his evil mother-in-law (whom he refers to as his "Osama Bin Law"), and life in a one-room apartment with 19 noisy family members. Mofaz speaks poor English, often searching for words with his catchphrase "Uhh, how you sayyy?", and using his native words "hella, hella, hella" for "testicles," and "kraimenech" for "vulva".
[edit] Coach Sandoval Hines
Coach Sandoval "Sandy" Hines (Keegan-Michael Key) is a manic, short-tempered Catholic school gym teacher and basketball coach who threatens to kill and injure his students with outrages methods. He easily becomes upset by disruptive behavior from students during school events, but ironically he is far more disruptive than the students he threatens. Hines' comedic foils have included students Jeff deChaser (Ike Barinholtz) and Joseph Yamanashi (Bobby Lee).
[edit] Tank
Tank (Bobby Lee) is an Asian-American "Street Tuner" character in the style of the The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift film. Tank drives a tricked-out Daewoo and has his cousin sit in the back of his car making it bounce, play music and turn on underglow lights when he shouts commands. When his cousin complains about the conditions inside the trunk, Tank will slam it down on him again. Bouncers won't admit Tank into nightclubs, so he tries to pick up girls outside the clubs and impress them with his car.
[edit] Many Shows! With Johnny Gan and Pongo
Xing Lao "Johnny" Gan (Bobby Lee) is a Thai millionaire known for his desire to do women "hard and sloppy, the Johnny Gan way." He and his friend Pongo (Danny Cho) host the show on Thailand public access channel 43-C. Segments have included parodies of Jackass, Dancing With the Stars, and cooking shows. "Johnny" Gan was actually introduced in the Season 12 sketch, "I will cut your penis and balls."
[edit] Luann Lockhart
Luann Lockhart (Crista Flanagan) is a stand-up comedienne notorious for her poor delivery, lack of punch lines and frequent bouts of crying. Her material includes bits about her abusive ex-boyfriend and terribly unfunny observations about everyday life. Luann's jokeless routine is mostly made up of nervous laughter and long pauses. Her catchphrases include, "Wait, I have impressions!", "I'm only fooling!", "But seriously...", "Now, let's go to the audience", "Let's not get started on men", "Will you talk to me?" and "Let me tell you about my ex-boyfriend."
[edit] Inside Looking Out
Pat-Beth Lamontruse (Nicole Parker) and Dontell Lamontruse (Jordan Peele) are an interracial couple who sing and preach against bigotry, despite the fact that Pat-Beth is unintentionally racist. They seem to love each other very deeply despite Pat-Beth's racist comments. In later skits, Dontell realizes what Pat-Beth is really saying and tries to correct her or, failing that, shut her up.
[edit] Jorge
Jorge (Keegan-Michael Key) is a short-tempered Mexican man who works at a Mexican fast food restaurant, presumably modeled after Taco Bell. Disgusted by the meal choices and cooking procedures at the restaurant, Jorge often recites long, overly dramatic soliloquies about his Mexican heritage. Whenever the customers order an inauthentic menu item, Jorge assaults them, either verbally or physically. For example, when a customer orders "cinnatwists" from the menu, Jorge brandishes a knife from his boot and angrily stabs the customer's hand while it rests on the counter. His supervisor is a put-upon black woman with herpes (played by Daniele Gaither) who yells "Jorge!" whenever he does something inhumane or wrong, which is often.
[edit] Bae Sung
Bae Sung (Bobby Lee) is an Asian man who has held several jobs, mostly as a translator. However, no one can understand him because he speaks the language of "Dumbass." In later sketches, most of them involving Ike Barinholtz, Bae Sung answers a series of questions in gibberish, followed by his catchphrase, "Uh-oh, hot dog!" (On one occasion, he was tackled by a man in a hot dog suit.)
Bae Sung appeared to be killed off in season 11 in a sketch involving the Taiwanese Triads and the cast of The Sopranos. He was then ground up into hamburger meat by Paulie Walnuts (Barinholtz) and Silvio Dante (Frank Caeti) and consumed by Bobby Lee, who promptly got sick and defecated Bae Sung into a toilet. (The sketch's final scene shows Bae Sung swirling around and going down the drain.) However, he reappeared in season 12 in a parody of Medium, as a translator for a future murder victim who speaks Korean. Allison DuBois (Crista Flanagan) was unable to save the victim due to Bae Sung's poor translation. The coroner, also played by Bobby Lee--and also named Bae Sung--spoke perfect English.
[edit] Superstitious Knights
Carl Hall (Keegan-Michael Key) and Ty Gray (Jordan Peele) are extremely superstitious and trained in recognizing traditional bad-luck omens. When an accident occurs because of (or indicating) bad luck, they try to break the curse by performing lengthy, choreographed dance routines.
[edit] Eugene Struthers
Eugene Struthers (Keegan-Michael Key) is a water delivery man who accosts unsuspecting MADtv guests backstage. His catchphrase is "Ho' Nuva Levo" (Whole 'Nother Level).
[edit] Former
[edit] Abercrombie & Fitch Employees
In a parody of Abercrombie & Fitch's advertising images and hiring practices, Ron Pederson, Ike Barinholtz, Josh Meyers and Michael McDonald played store employees with names like Dutch, Cougar, Storm and Carpenter as vain, vapid, unhelpful and overly coiffed gay men. They would insult customers, particularly women, minorities and the overweight. The recurring sketch often parodied alleged racist hiring policies. Despite appearing athletic, the characters were depicted as weak and cowardly; in one skit where they were beaten up by Lane Bryant employees.
[edit] Antonia
Antonia Timmens (Nicole Sullivan), who spoke with a noticeable lisp and may have been mildly retarded, found everyday activities and normal conversations challenging.
Skits featuring Antonia usually showed her attempting to perform a variety of jobs clearly beyond her limited abilities, such as answering a suicide hotline or piloting an aircraft. Other characters became increasingly frustrated by her, particularly when she would respond with an inane comment such as, "I have a cat named C.C." (pronounced "Thee Thee" due to her lisp) or with her catchphrases "It is possible!" and "I don't know?".
[edit] Jack/Jaq, The UBS Guy
Jack/Jaq (Phil LaMarr) was a hyperactive delivery man for UBS. He wore a signature brown shirt and shorts, like the uniform worn by employees of the company the skit spoofed, UPS. The UBS Guy loved his job enthusiastically, but he also appeared in sketches outside his workplace.
In a season three sketch, the UBS Guy met the Vancome Lady (Nicole Sullivan) and replaced her the God of a futuristic Planet of the Apes-type society.
[edit] CLOPS
CLOPS was a MADtv parody of the Fox show COPS done entirely in claymation. It typically featured police officers pursuing and arresting (and sometimes mistreating) popular cartoon characters or toys for various crimes, such as arresting Gumby for robbing a convenience store, G.I. Joe and Barbie for a domestic dispute and disturbing the peace, Santa Claus for driving drunk and smuggling cocaine, the Rock-Em, Sock-Em Robots for brawling, Wallace from "Wallace and Gromit" for animal abuse (of Gromit), Mr. Potato Head for public drunkenness, and Paddington Bear for indecent exposure.
In one episode, a rampaging Pillsbury Doughboy was shot repeatedly but the bullets had no effect on his doughy body, so he was pushed into an oven and baked. Other characters included the Energizer Bunny, Furbies, a California Raisin, Mr. Peanut, Teletubbies, the M&M Candies, the Budweiser Lizard, and the Budweiser Frogs.
[edit] Dot Goddard
Penelope "Dot" Goddard (Stephnie Weir) is a neglected, hyperactive, gum-chewing seven-year-old with a low IQ. Dot's twin sister Karen (Alex Borstein) is a child genius who has led NASA expeditions. Dot and Karen's parents (Mo Collins, Michael McDonald) idolize and dote upon the gifted Karen, but show disdain and contempt for Dot.
Despite her genius and ability to perform advanced scientific procedures, Karen appears to genuinely care about her twin sister and to enjoy spending time with her in childish activities, and never seems to notice the hostility and utter cruelty her parents show towards Dot. After Alex Borstein left the show, Dot still appeared in skits, typically with one of her parents wearing a shirt that said "My Other Child Is a Genius."
Dot is obsessed with gloves, wearing them all the time, and getting desperate when she can't. She usually tries to entertain people by saying "Look how little my gloves are, how are they ever gonna fit on my hand?" then she puts it on and says it's magic. She also seems to be unaware of the hostile feelings her parents (especially her father) have towards her.
Dot is shown as a very outgoing girl who can't stop talking about irrelevant things, but gets extremely shy when she is expected to talk. She expresses her shyness by fidgeting on the spot and sometimes asking "How come everyone's looking at me?".
[edit] Rusty Miller
Rusty Miller (Michael McDonald) is a college student at Cal State-Fullerton. Originally, the skits focused on Rusty's college life and his attempts to fit in with his peers, despite his nerdy behavior and annoying tendencies (such as his penchant for Zima and obnoxious tendency to correct people’s grammar). In later episodes, the character was revamped as the host of a public access television show, "This and That with Rusty", featuring interviews with celebrities such as Drew Barrymore, David Boreanaz and Mandy Moore. A semi-recurring gag reveals that he has a gargantuan penis (in his words, "Not just in length, but girth too").
[edit] Lorraine Swanson
Lorraine Swanson, played by Mo Collins is a confused, middle-aged woman from Fridley, Minnesota who gets into trouble when failing to comply with people's instructions. Lorraine wears high, elastic-waist jeans into which she tucks her shirt. Lorraine also wears an unbuttoned knit sweater (usually red) and her trademark oversized thick glasses.
Lorraine has many dogs and a huge family, including her obese husband, Carl (played by Paul Vogt in later seasons), and her overweight son, Carl Jr., both of whom videotape her zany exploits (often taped on location). Lorraine's catchphrases are "Uh-huh-huh-huh!" (a nervous tic combining a laugh and cough), "Huh?!" (usually spoken before someone is done talking), and "Gaaaaawd, that's/you're cute".
Every sketch features a certain word Lorraine cannot pronounce; she repeatedly interrupts the other character's correct pronunciation several times before going "Uh-huh-huh-huh!" She was last seen taking a camping trip with her family, who all seem to share her trademark cough and glasses.
[edit] Hoppy Potty
Hoppy Potty was a Scandinavian pop group featuring Gunter (Will Sasso), Yarl (Michael McDonald), Elka (Mo Collins), Inga (Nicole Sullivan), and Schtein (Pat Kilbane). The group was based on ABBA, and its name was an accented pronunciation of "Happy Party."[1] The group's debut video was "Meet Hoppy Potty."
[edit] Ms. Bunny Swan
Bunny Swan (Alex Borstein), more commonly known as "Ms. Swan," is one of the most well known and most prominent characters on MADtv.[citation needed] According, Ms. Swan was born on November 25, 1966 and lives at 1040 North Las Palmas. She is 5' 2" and weighs 145 lbs., as shown on her driver's license when she goes to the DMV. She also has brown eyes. Ms. Swan works as a manicurist at the Gorgeous Pretty Beauty Nail Salon (which she mispronounces as "Goja Pitty Booty Nay Salon").
Ms. Swan's ethnicity and native country are unclear. In one sketch it is revealed that Miss Swan is from the fictional country of Kuvaria, near the North Pole, and home of Santa Claus. MADtv 's creators insist the character was based on the singer Björk.[citation needed] (She was compared to Björk in one sketch, was referred to as Icelandic by the Vancome Lady in another, and wore Björk's infamous swan dress in another.) When a man asked her where she was from, she replied she lived downtown. One sketch shows Ms. Swan being fluent in Spanish while using an automated teller machine. She told a man in a bar that her father was Spanish and her mother was from Spain. Borstein claims the character was at least partially inspired by her Hungarian grandmother. In an early sketch, the character was supposed to have been a wig-maker. In another sketch, Ms. Swan goes to a restaurant with her sister to meet two American guys, and the two converse in Hungarian and Czech. Despite her vague ethnicity, some Asian–Americans have found the character to be demeaning to the Asian ethnicity.[citation needed] In one episode, it is revealed that Ms. Bunny Swan is actually a robot, or at least has a robotic duplicate.
In all of her sketches, she is wearing her work smock.
[edit] El Asso Wipo
El Asso Wipo is a Mexican wrestler seeking work on the American wrestling circuit. He has been played by David Herman, Chris Hogan, and David Arquette during a guest appearance. After the debut of El Asso Wipo, other wrestlers with offensive names were introduced, including El Diablo Negro (The Black Devil) and Señor Bag of Crap. El Asso Wipo's catch phrase is "I will break your back, like so, with my knee!".
[edit] Cloret
Cloret is an unenthusiastic, lazy, depressed woman who routinely takes on customer service jobs. Usually, when she is angered she dons a distinctively wide-eyed look and finds the nearest microphone to shout into. She has worked at a juice shop and as a gate agent, security officer and pilot for United Airlines. She is supposed to be on Wellbutrin, but says it makes her too aggressive with her kids. She mispronounces words and names often, then makes fun of them or the people attached to them when corrected. Her catchphrase is "What'chu want?", which she always says while cutting off her own sentences.
[edit] Bunifa Latifah Halifah Sharifa Jackson
Bunifa Latifah Halifah Sharifa Jackson (Debra Wilson) is a meter maid who makes extensive use of Black Vernacular English (Ebonics) when speaking, and quickly accuses other characters' most basic assertions as being motivated by racism. Her character often rapidly shifts her mood at mild stimuli for comedic effect, aggressively arguing with characters one moment, then talking amicably with them seconds afterwards. She is often seen gabbing on her cellphone with her unseen best friend Sonya (who was once voiced offscreen by Aries Spears). She often flirts with male characters, regardless of race.
Her catchphrases include "I saaaaaaaaaaaid...", "What'd I do?" and "Why do I have to [perform an action]? Because I'm BLACK!" An early form of this character appeared in season one, but she was a doctor and more articulate.
[edit] Cabana Chat
"Cabana Chat" was a recurring skit during the first and second seasons of MADtv. The hostess was gleefully lecherous Dixie Wetsworth (Mary Scheer), who had a deep tan, wrinkled skin, and a Southern US accent spoken in country club lockjaw. She was prone to broad double-entendres and flirted with all males who appeared on "Cabana Chat", including the beautiful but dim-witted Pool Boy (Bryan Callen) and her musical director, Dexter St. Croix (Orlando Jones). The similarities between Dixie Wetsworth and comedienne Phyllis Diller were underscored when Diller appeared on "Cabana Chat".
Dixie Wetsworth's catchphrase was "This is 'Cabana Chat', and this (gesturing to her scantily clad body and cackling) is Dixie Wetsworth. You like? I like."
[edit] Darlene McBride
Darlene McBride (Nicole Sullivan) is a country singer with a big hairdo and right-wing views. These include:
- "The Lord loves the NRA, He told me so the other day; He spelled it out in bullets in the sky. He's sittin' up in heaven with his AK-47, He's a rough-and-ready macho kinda guy."
- "'Scuse me Mister Negro, but I'd like to ask you a question: What's so bad about the back of the bus? You still got a seat like rest of us. I don't understand all the fuss 'bout you sittin' in the back of the bus."
- (singing about America) "And now look at it, a big ugly meltin' pot just boilin' over on what used to be a nice WHITE stove."
- "Love comes in many colors but it looks best in white" (winks at audience).
- "Jesus was never a Jew. Forget what you've heard, it's not true. The babe in the manger was no Hebrew stranger. Jesus was never a Jew. Sorry folks, his last name was Christ not Christowitz, nice try."
Darlene once gave her young sons high-powered assault rifles as Christmas gifts. A map showing the stops on her "Take Back America" tour created a swastika pattern. She also released a rap album entitled The Marshall McBride LP after Eminem "made hate cool again".
[edit] The Eracists
The Eracists were a group of motivational speakers who toured schools and community centers to denounce bigotry, while unknowingly exhibiting bigoted behavior. The Eracists were Alex Borstein (whose character was in a wheelchair), Nicole Sullivan, Phil Lamarr (later Aries Spears), and Will Sasso.
[edit] Kappa Kappa Kappa Sorority
Kappa Kappa Kappa (KKK) is a sorority house at USC filled with popular, slutty girls Amber (Jill Michelle Meleán), Gisele (Daniele Gaither), Hayden (Debra Wilson), Mackenzie (Stephnie Weir), Savannah (Nicole Parker), Taylor (Kathryn Fiore), and Toby (Mo Collins).
Although the girls genuinely seem to mean well, their behavior tends to be unconsciously cruel or destructive. If they make an unpopular girl a "Kappa for a day," they will play what they interpret as typical sorority tricks to try to make her feel welcome but which are horribly cruel (such as sneaking the girl out into public while she is asleep and leaving her outside naked.) Despite being aware of the similarity between their initials and that of the Klan (they always introduce themselves as the "Kappa Kappa Kappa, or KKK--but the good kind!"), they wear white hooded sweatshirts with the letters 'KKK' written on them and often use fire while dressed this way. They once tried to "pass the torch of brotherhood" while dressed this way and attempted to give $100 to an African-American married couple with a baby; unsurprisingly, the couple thought they were a lynch mob and ran away from them. Another time they left a flaming cherries jubilee on the front lawn of an elderly black couple. Their competitors are the Zeta Iota Tau (ZIT for short).
[edit] Lida Rosario and Melina Hacinto
Lida Rosario (Nicole Sullivan) and Melina Hacinto (Debra Wilson) are two slutty, sarcastic Hispanic girls from Los Angeles. Their ethnicity is never stated, but their exaggerated Spanish accents could be Puerto Rican or Dominican. Lida and Melina have run a beauty salon, worked at a convenience store, appeared as guests on the Jerry Springer Show, competed in a beauty pageant, and appeared on MTV's Spring Break.
Lida and Melina's arch-nemesis is Rosa (mostly unseen, but played in one sketch by Mo Collins), a "skanky slut" whom they blame for stealing their boyfriends. Lida and Melina idolize Selena, even calling her a saint.
[edit] The Vancome Lady
The Vancome Lady (Nicole Sullivan), or Kathy Wajonowski (the character's real name), is a self-absorbed, cynical, bigoted woman with a gaudy appearance (though the character did not originally have extreme make-up, hair or clothes). The Vancome Lady is the very first MADtv recurring character, appearing twice in the show's first episode. The Vancome Lady takes her name from Lancôme cosmetics and the fact that she once worked at a make-up counter in a fashionable department store.
She crushingly insults every character she comes into contact with, her insults often resembling the jokes of insult comics in the tradition of Don Rickles or Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.[citation needed] She moves frequently and has a different job in each skit because she alienates everyone around her. When being fired, she thanks her male employer for "letting me sleep with you" and exits, leaving her ashamed boss behind. In one skit, she does not have any notable job, instead being a rude neighbor handing out candy to trick-or-treaters, insulting them and their parents until being run out of town by an angry mob.
Her catch phrase, delivered when she disagrees with someone, is "Tcha... you know what? Uh-uh!" Her other trademark is plugging her ears and saying "la la la..." repeatedly when someone is talking or yelling at her.
In one skit, the Vancome Lady trades insults with Marvin Tikvah, until they discover they both enjoy hurting people. Tikvah, a producer, offers her an ideal place to work: Fox.
[edit] Noodles & Nippy
Noodles (Jordan Peele) & Nippy (Crista Flanagan) are two clowns (The Hype Jingleberries) who try to teach people the art of krumping. The two often preface their demonstrations by describing, somewhat menacingly, how krumping helps them control their urges of criminal and violent behavior. Ironically, then, most of their demonstrations involve Nippy taking some sort of physical abuse from Noodles, such as getting shoved or hit in the face, then allaying the audience's concerns for her safety by stating repeatedly, "That's just the krump," while holding back tears.
[edit] Emcee Esher
Emcee Esher (Aries Spears) is a fictional hardcore rapper who uses constant (censored) profanity and has extremely vulgar, though very short, music videos, which are censored heavily on TRL. He has released 14 albums since his death in 1998 and made numerous appearances on MTV TRL. His name is a reference to artist M. C. Escher.
[edit] Dr. Kylie Johnson
Dr. Kylie Johnson (Stephnie Weir) is a doctor with various specialties. She constantly plays practical jokes on her patients, wears belly-shirts, decorates her pencils and stethoscopes in pink fun fur, and generally never seems to take her job seriously. Despite her antics, she is a genius in the medical profession, and her colleagues regard her as one of the best in her field. Some of her antics include having a squirt gun fight in the emergency room, pretending that one of her pregnant patients gave birth to a teddy bear, and recording a dating service video on a proctological camera.
[edit] Reality Check
Reality Check was a talk show on BET hosted by Belma Buttons (Aries Spears) and Tovah McQueen (Debra Wilson), two obese black women. The sketches would begin by each of them partaking in food, and saying that it is "so good" that they would inflict physical harm on each other. Then they would introduce a white guest who gets routinely insulted by Belma and Tovah until the guest makes a witty comeback, such as Tom Ridge (Will Sasso) telling "the two of them to get four chairs and sit down." Belma and Tovah would retaliate by taking turns berating the guest, then ending the show by telling the guest to "think about what we said" and then leaving, as Belma would get a craving for food. The only person Belma and Tovah liked was Bill Clinton (Sasso) because he put himself down like Belma and Tovah insulted people. Belma once lost weight by "The Subway Diet" (eating trash left by people on the subway) and declared her personal trainer to be her new best friend, until going into shock, and then reverting back to her gluttonous ways.
Reality Check featured ads for products based on black stereotypes, e.g., Red Kool-Aid ("'Cause black people love the color red!"), assault rifles ("When the police shoot at you, shoot them back!"), and Red Rooster Hot Sauce ("'Cause don't everything taste better with hot sauce?").
[edit] Real **********ing Talk
Real Motherfucking Talk is a recurring skit on MADtv and a show-within-a-show. It spoofs other forum-style shows such as Hardball with Chris Matthews and Real Time with Bill Maher. However, unlike other talk shows, Real **********ing Talk is known for its excessive use of (censored) foul language. The ten asterisks in the title are heavily implied to represent the word motherfuck, though this is never confirmed due to FCC broadcast restrictions.
The host of Real **********ing Talk is Dollar Bill Montgomery (Aries Spears), who appears in every episode of the show. His personality is sharp, sassy and borderline belligerent. Montgomery's moderating style is a parody of other "sassy" political talking heads like John McLaughlin and Bill O'Reilly. However, unlike them, Montgomery uses foul language to insult his guests, especially the "token white guest" and Woogie Johnson (Tommy Davidson).
The black guests usually appear to be based on many cultural stereotypes (cheesey Apollo comedian, black-power conspiracy theorist, sassy black woman, etc.) and they use ethnic slang to convey their points. However, some of these guests surprise the audience by making articulate responses to the questions posed to them. Many times, they may be antagonized by Montgomery as much as, if not more than, the token white guest. At least one "token white" guest has appeared in all episodes of Real **********ing Talk. The white guest tends to be well-educated and high-strung, such as conservative political commentators Pat Buchanan or liberal political commentators like Michael Kinsley. One guest who has appeared multiple times was F. Michael McCrosky (Michael McDonald), whom inadvertently offended Dollar Bill in every appearance.
[edit] Clyde and Judith (a.k.a. the Literally Duo)
Clyde (Michael McDonald) and Judith (Nicole Sullivan) are a married couple without children who often attend youth events such as little league baseball games. They provide sarcastic and bitter commentary and often end their sentences with the word literally. (At a school play, Judith comments on the costume designs, claiming she "has not seen so many overly-made up fat kids since The Facts of Life went to Paris--literally"). Clyde makes comments such as, "That parking lot was so busy it was seeing more traffic than Mariah Carey's vagina--literally." All their sketches end with the couple about to go off on a large rant against someone who is fighting back against them, only to cut to a scrolling screen asking the audience to send in final punchlines to the sketch as part of a contest. One of the later sketches lampoons this gag by suggesting that the writers are just too lazy to think up an ending.
[edit] Trina Moss
Trina is a blonde haired women who has fears of many things. She has had many unfortunate situations that have happened to her (like getting a boil on her butt, having a hairy moss-like patch grow on her shoulder, a skin graft from a corpse-containing the nipple of the corpse-on her head, and even being attacked by a horse as a child then being put in a body cast). Although she has these unlucky situations she always stays happy about her life. Trina finds a man that likes her, and is even as unlucky as her. She explains to him in one sketch that she has never been in her room alone with a boy since she gave her uncle a sponge-bath when she was a child. She also became the manager of an IHOP. She mentions in many sketches that she cannot bear children. She always rubs her nose when she gets upset. She makes a "ra-ra-ra-ra-ra!" or just "Ara" when she is excited. She vomits when she feels love.
[edit] X News
A short-lived sketch meant to satirize "edgy" teen news programs like MTV News, X News was hosted by Marsh and Amy. They presented news with a stereotypical teen attitude. Amy later stylized her name to "Ah-mee", much to the joy of Marsh, who stylizes his name as Mersha to mock her. Ah-mee stresses her rebellious nature, although hints have been dropped that she's actually from a upper middle class family (her parents bought her a car and paid her college tuition), while Marsh takes every opportunity present to insult her. Marsh almost constantly seems to confuse "the Man" (an Establishment figure) with "Batman", and has latent racist tendencies (he once said cops treat him like he's black because he steals stuff). Amy was portrayed by Nicole Sullivan, and Marsh by David Herman.
[edit] References
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