| # |
Episode |
Writer/s |
Director/s |
Original airdate |
| 1 |
"The Serpent's Tooth" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Baz Taylor |
19 September 2000 |
| Ben gets angry when Janey tells him she is seeing another dentist, the Australian Mel Fraser, as Ben never gets round to seeing them. Ben soon discovers that Susan has also seen Mel, causing them to argue. They then have to reassure Michael that they are not going to divorce. Meanwhile Janey, who had taken an instant liking to Mel, says she will not see him again after he treated her like a child. Nick, meanwhile, meets Isabelle (Karine Adrover), a French swimwear model, on the Internet. Ben bets him £50 she is not who she says she is, and so Nick invites her round. Michael rebels by buying himself a rabbit called Hannibal. |
| 2 |
"Pain In The Class" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Baz Taylor |
26 September 2000 |
| Michael gets bullied at school by Jason Hodder, and when Ben and Susan find out, Michael calls Susan a "control freak", which means Ben is forced to try and deal with it. However, when it gets worse, she invites Hodder's parents around to discuss the problem. Meanwhile, Nick tries to become a dotcom millionaire and Janey wants a tattoo. |
| 3 |
"Droit De Seigneur Ben" |
Fred Barron and Shawn Schepps |
Baz Taylor |
3 October 2000 |
| Brigitte and Lord Whitton (Peter Blythe), a patient, arrange a date between Janey and Whitton's son Toby. However, Toby tries to assault her and Whitton's son then goes to the sugery for treatment. Also, Susan gets tickets for Don Giovanni, but Ben is reluctant to go, and Nick becomes an artist. |
| 4 |
"The Last Resort" |
James Hendrie, Ian Brown, Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Baz Taylor |
10 October 2000 |
| Susan turns 40 again, and after persuasion from Janey, Ben takes her for a romantic weekend at a hotel they stayed in April 1978, shortly before they were married. The couple in the next room, the Pickerings, get friendly but turn out to be swingers. Meanwhile, at home Nick and Janey go out leaving Michael on his own. Guest starring Duncan Preston. |
| 5 |
"Farwell To Alarms" |
Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Baz Taylor |
17 October 2000 |
| After Brigitte thinks her van has been stolen from near the Harpers' house, Susan insists they get an expensive top-of-the-range burglar alarm, which soon lands them in trouble with the police when it goes off too often. Also, Nick becomes a landlord and then a stripper. |
| 6 |
"Death Takes A Policy" |
Fred Barron and Penny Croft |
Baz Taylor and Jay Sandrich |
24 October 2000 |
| When a Chinese businessman who was on a tour with Susan's company is found dead at Madame Tussauds, Susan is worried as it's the children's "first death". Meanwhile, Nick brings round his new girlfriend Emily, who tries to sell Ben life insurance, and Janey wants a water bra. |
| 7 |
"The Awkward Phrase" |
Fred Barron |
Baz Taylor |
30 October 2000 |
| Michael has his first date with a girl from school and gets tips from Nick, Ben and Janey. Meanwhile, Nick tries to get a job by growing a moustache, and Janey buys a pair of £98 Prada jeans, which Susan had forbidden her to purchase. |
| 8 |
"Much Ado About Ben" |
Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Baz Taylor |
7 November 2000 |
| Susan finds Viagra in Nick's trousers, which she then confiscates, but when Ben then uses it he is rushed to hospital. After being diagnosed with high cholesterol, he is put on a diet by Susan. Also, Janey is trying to get tickets for a Marilyn Manson concert, and when Susan takes up yoga to help her stop smoking Ben takes part in a lesson at their house. |
| # |
Episode |
Writer/s |
Director/s |
Original airdate |
| 9 |
"All Roads Lead To Ramon" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
31 August 2001 |
| When Nick is fired from an employment agency for being "chronically unemployable", Susan is forced into giving him a job as a tour guide, which proves a disaster. Meanwhile, when Janey has a different boy round each day, each one coaching in her A-Levels, Ben accidentally calls her a prostitute. Also, Stupid Brian tries to win Janey back, and Ben has dental assistant problems, finally employing Ramon Manlucas. Guest starring Rupert Vansittart. |
| 10 |
"The Unkindest Cut" |
Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Dewi Humphreys |
7 September 2001 |
| After a weekend together in Paris, Susan thinks she is pregnant. After discussing whether to have the baby or not, Susan finds out it was a false alarm, but insists Ben has a vasectomy so it does not happen again. Meanwhile, Nick follows Jamie Oliver and becomes a "naked chef". |
| 11 |
"Parisian Beauty" |
Andrea Solomons |
Dewi Humphreys |
14 September 2001 |
| Janey has invited over Sylvie (Beatriz Batarda), a French exchange student, so she can go to Paris in return. This means Michael has to stay in Nick's room, and Ben thinks that Sylvie fancies him. Also, Nick is taking part in a sleep deprivation experiment. Guest starring Christopher Ryan. |
| 12 |
"Trust Never Sleeps" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
21 September 2001 |
| Susan reads in Janey's diary that she thinks Susan does not trust her. So, after getting an 'A' in a French project, Susan shows she trusts Janey by letting her have a party while she and Ben are in Oxford for the night. However, when Ben and Susan return after getting second thoughts, they are stuck in their bedroom hiding from Janey and her friends. However, Ben soon needs the toilet. |
| 13 |
"Death And Ben Take A Holiday" |
Fred Barron |
Dewi Humphreys |
28 September 2001 |
| When Ben's 93-year-old aunt Margaret dies, Susan cannot go to Leeds with him for the funeral because she has flu, so he is forced to go with Nick. They are forced to share a bed at a rundown Bed and Breakfast, while Nick tries to spend the night with the hotel maid Rita. After taking some pills she got from Stupid Brian, Susan arrives in Leeds and discovers Aunt Margaret wearing a bracelet that Ben gave her. Guest starring Hilda Braid. |
| 14 |
"Driving Miss Crazy" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
5 October 2001 |
| Janey is revising for her driving test, while Ben is having problems with his neighbour Mr. Casey (Nickolas Grace) and his dog Gemma, who always fouls on the Harper's porch. Mr. Casey complains non-stop about Ben's scruffy shed, untidy garden and other things. Both Ben and Mr. Casey refuse to back down, and a huge war ensues. |
| 15 |
"I Second That Emulsion" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
12 October 2001 |
| Susan decides to redecorate the living room, and Stupid Brian offers to do the job, but Susan has problems deciding what colour to paint it. Meanwhile, Stupid Brian spends the night in Janey's room causing a dilemma for Ben and Susan, and Nick becomes a piano tuner and then gets a job in a paint shop, where he serves Ben. |
| 16 |
"The Age Of Romance" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
19 October 2001 |
| Nick gets a girlfriend called Amanda (Jan Francis), who is old enough to be his mother, and when Susan invites her round to dinner she finds out Amanda is married. Also, after Michael gets a new computer and Nick has his dinner with Amanda, Janey starts to feel like the "poor relation". |
| 17 |
"Get Cartier" |
Fred Barron |
Dewi Humphreys |
26 October 2001 |
| When Ben gets a new patient called Mr. Smith (Michael Attwell), he suspects that he is an "underworld kingpin", although Mr. Smith says his business is "organised dance and waste removal". However, Ben soon starts to get suspicious when he receives lots of gifts, and when Susan finds one of them, a Cartier watch, she thinks Ben has bought it for their upcoming 23rd wedding annivsary. |
| 18 |
"'Tis Pity She's A Whore" |
Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Dewi Humphreys |
2 November 2001 |
| When Susan's mother rings and says she's dying again, Janey goes to visit her. She then tells Janey that her mother Mary was a prostitute, which shocks Ben as Susan never told him. Meanwhile, Michael is standing in the school elections as a Conservative, much to Ben's annoyance as he claims it is a "Labour household", but Michael does manage to get Ben a park bench with his name on it. Guest starring Timothy Bateson. |
| 19 |
"The Last Supper" |
Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Dewi Humphreys |
9 November 2001 |
| Scott Tailor (Mac McDonald), Susan's new American boss, comes round for dinner. After arguing with him about his new ideas, which includes her dressing up as a Beatle, she trigers his acid reflux so he has to sleep in their bed overnight. When he then dies in his sleep, Susan thinks she argued him to death and goes to a priest (Andy Greenhalgh) to confess. Meanwhile, Nick dates a policewoman. |
| 20 |
"Ben Wants To Be A Millionaire" |
Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Dewi Humphreys |
23 November 2001 |
| Ben and Susan go out to dinner with a multi-millionaire old school friend of his, Andy Banks (Daniel Hill), and his young wife Ambyr (Kim Ross), who is going in for cosmetic surgery. After taking advice from Andy, both Ben and Susan invest in the stock market. Meanwhile, Susan is learning Russian for a new tour group, Janey wants some Prada shoes and Nick tries out two new jobs: selling his organs on eBay, and being a sperm donor. |
| 21 |
"Breakable" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
30 November 2001 |
| Susan finds £1255 in Nick's trousers, and Nick uses this to buy a motorcycle so he can form a motorcycle stunt display team called The League of Mentalmen. His first performance is at the Peterborough Rock Festival, where he gets injured when he launches himself off a ramp and hits a cow and ends up in hospital with a broken arm, leg, three broken ribs and whiplash. Susan visits Nick and persuades Ben to act fatherly to his son, making him converse with Nick and give him his beloved childhood toy, Sir Edworth Tedworth. She also tries to make Ben confess to Nick that he loves him. Meanwhile, Janey gets a job as a waitress in Soho and hopes to be discovered by film producers, but ends up being fired. |
| # |
Episode |
Writer/s |
Director/s |
Original Airdate |
| 22 |
"Absent Vixen, Cheeky Monkey" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
6 September 2002 |
| After Janey leaves home to go to Manchester University, Ben and Susan fight for who will get her room, and while Susan misses her and rings her constantly, Ben seems content. Meanwhile, Nick gets a job as a shelf stacker at a supermarket called Freshfair and brings his work home with him, while Michael is reading The Art of War by Sun Tzu. |
| 23 |
"Shrink Rap" |
Fred Barron and Sophie Hetherington |
Dewi Humphreys |
13 September 2002 |
| Susan 'finds' a letter in Michael's room from the school about an 'Auction of Promises', which he had hidden because he finds his parents embarrassing. However, Ben and Susan go to the Auction anyway, with Susan donating a tour and Ben donating a dental session. Susan bids for everything, including a counseling session, which she and Ben then attend. Guest starring Jemma Redgrave and Paul Bradley. |
| 24 |
"Desperately Squeaking Susan" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
20 September 2002 |
| Following Janey's absence, Susan feels a void and needs female company, so she invites the daughter of Ben's cousin, Abi, who has just started at Art College in London, round for dinner. However, they end up in Casualty when Abi puts her hand through a window. Susan then invites Abi to come and live with them, much to Ben's annoyance. Meanwhile, Nick becomes a magician under the name Brian Miles while Susan plays the cello. |
| 25 |
"Of Mice and Ben" |
Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Dewi Humphreys |
27 September 2002 |
| Ben and Susan agree that Abi can make a film of them for her film class, to portray a "typical married couple". Meanwhile, there is a rat which seems to survive every trap set for it. It is eventually found to be nestled in the basement where it comes face to face with Ben, whose terrified reaction is caught on camera by Abi who then sells it to a TV programme called When Animals Attack. |
| 26 |
"Imperfect Strangers" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
3 October 2002 |
| After getting a call of distress from Janey, Ben and Susan drive up to Manchester where they discover they are not needed after all, so they decide to stay in Maythorne Metrolodge on the M62. Once there they decide to pretend to be strangers under the names Delores DeLarge and Johnny Studd, and meet for the first time. Meanwhile, Abi invites her boyfriend Michael round, and the other Michael tells lies to make sure he leaves, leaving Abi furious. |
| 27 |
"The Second Greatest Story Ever Told" |
Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Dewi Humphreys |
10 October 2002 |
| Susan auditions for the community theatre's nativity play, but ends up with the role of shepherd number 2, while Nick is given the part of Jesus, but she soon tries to expand her character. Abi has a new job at a coffee shop, where Michael finds out his date Sophie is seeing someone else. Meanwhile, Ben is writing a speech for the Central London Dental Association, and very reluctantly has to go to the dentist. He arrives to find his dentist, old mentor Roger Bailey, has died and been replaced by his son Roger Bailey, Jr, who treats him like a toddler. |
| 28 |
"Waiting to Inhale" |
Fred Barron |
Dewi Humphreys |
17 October 2002 |
| After finding a cannabis cigarette in Michael's bedroom, which he had got from a friend called Bex, Susan and Ben decide to smoke it themselves as an example to their children. However, after their high Ben and Susan realise they have to make up another cigarette using expired parsley, so they can have a word with Michael. |
| 29 |
"Misery" |
Andrea Solomons |
Dewi Humphreys |
24 October 2002 |
| Susan goes to stay with Janey at University and is determined to relive her own student days. Meanwhile, Ben has hurt his ankle but still insists on playing golf with his 90-year-old friend Gerald Dearden, and Nick becomes a female impersonator. |
| 30 |
"Auto Erotica" |
Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Dewi Humphreys |
7 November 2002 |
| Susan wants a romantic weekend in Dorset for her and Ben's 26th wedding anniversary. However, after Nick wins an 72 MG Roadster car in a poker game, Ben is more concerned about fixing it up. Also, Michael accidentally ends up with a pair of knickers which belong to Abi, who he fancies. |
| 31 |
"A Handful of Dust" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
21 November 2002 |
| Ben is upset when everyone ignores his birthday, although he told them not to make a fuss. After much pestering from Susan, Janey comes down from university for Ben's birthday, and brings with her a friend called Kate, and the two seem to be lesbians. Nick becomes a gorilla-gram. |
| 32 |
"The Lost Weekend" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
28 November 2002 |
| After Michael leaves for a Higher Maths Fun Weekend, Ben and Susan have the house to themselves. Susan's perfect weekend includes looking for antiques and going to the Tate Modern, while Ben's is to relax and do nothing at home or to go to the cinema. Ben tries to teach Susan to relax, but in the end they just end up anoying each other. |
| 33 |
"Ghosts" |
Andrea Solomons |
Dewi Humphreys |
5 December 2002 |
| After signing up on oldpals.com, Susan gets a bunch of flowers from Kirk Mason, who dumped her 28 years previously, and with Janey's help she gets her revenge on him. Meanwhile, Michael finds out their house is cursed while Nick becomes an exorcist and a taxi driver. |
| 34 |
"One Flew Out Of The Cuckoo's Nest" |
Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Dewi Humphreys |
12 December 2002 |
| Ben finally gets so fed up with Nick after he breaks and sells his record collection that he tells Nick to move out. Nick eventually moves out, much to Susan's horror. He gets a job at Ben's local pub, but he is still not totally independent. Also, Michael tries to get fit for a girl called Julia. |
| # |
Episode |
Writer/s |
Director/s |
Original Airdate |
| 36 |
"Fitting Punishment" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
21 March 2003 |
| Following the death of Mr Beamish, who owned the surgery above Ben's, Roger Bailey Jnr, the son of Ben's former mentor, tries to buy it, but Ben lies and tells him someone else has bought it, so Roger buys the surgery below instead. Meanwhile, Susan tries to make the house baby-friendly for Janey's yet-to-be-born baby, and then has problems with the plumbers. Nick becomes a film extra, Michael becomes obsessed with the Army cadets and Roger falls for Abi as soon as he sees her. |
| 37 |
"They Shoot Harpers, Don't They?" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
28 March 2003 |
| Susan tricks Ben into joining a modern Latin dance class, but Ben dances better than her. They both then get Roger, who dances "like Fred Astaire", to teach them privately so they can enter a competition at the end of the month. Meanwhile, after getting a 'B' in a Maths test, Michael decides to stop thinking about girls so he can focus on his studies. Guest starring Jacey Sallés and Georgie Glen. |
| 38 |
"The Great Escape" |
Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Dewi Humphreys |
4 April 2003 |
| When Susan's mother Grace invites herself round for dinner, Ben invents an excuse and goes to Nick's apartment for the evening. When he returns, he does not realise Grace is in his bed and nearly makes love to her thinking that she is Susan. The following day, they all end up at Nick's to avoid Grace. Also, Susan finds a condom in Michael's wallet. |
| 39 |
"Return of the Prodigal Prat" |
Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Dewi Humphreys |
11 April 2003 |
| After Ben is listed in the obituaries of newspaper The Herald, he takes it as the perfect excuse to do nothing, while neighbour Mr Gleason sets his sights on 'widowed' Susan and Michael has to write a eulogy. Meanwhile, Susan wants to make Nick's old bedroom into a nursery for Janey's yet-to-be-born baby, but Nick has plans to move back in. |
| 40 |
"Owed to Susan" |
Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Dewi Humphreys |
18 April 2003 |
| Thanks to Roger, Susan finds out that a poem that Ben wrote her while they were courting was actually Your Face by Jalal ad-Din Rumi. Susan then refuses to make love to him until he's written another one, and he even goes to Abi's poetry class to try and write another one. Meanwhile, Nick takes part in an experiment that makes him lose his memory. Guest starring Frances Barber. |
| 41 |
"Deliverance" |
Andrea Solomons |
Dewi Humphreys |
25 April 2003 |
| After Janey goes into labour while on the phone to Susan, she and Ben rush up to Manchester to be at her side. On the journey up there they recall Nick's birth, and when they get to St. Margaret's Hospital in Manchester, an unseen Janey has given birth to a baby boy, who is later named Kenzo. |
| 42 |
"Blind Justice" |
Andrea Solomons |
Dewi Humphreys |
2 May 2003 |
| Susan gets hysterical blindness after seeing Michael in bed with a girl called Fiona, and it will not go until Michael says nothing happened. Meanwhile, Ben is on jury duty and is hassled by a busybody fellow juror called Joanna Elton-Johns (Sylvestra Le Touzel), and Nick becomes a "wrapping artist" and wraps everything up in brown paper. |
| 43 |
"Friday the 31st" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
9 May 2003 |
| It's Halloween and Susan has turned the family home into a "house of horror" and dressed up as a witch, but Ben is much less enthusiastic. They are plagued by a group of children doing trick or treat, and strange things begin to happen. Also, Abi is dressed as a piece of cheese and Roger is a ghost (a white sheet, actually). Guest starring Dani Harmer. |
| 44 |
"Sitting Targets" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
16 May 2003 |
| Ben and Susan baby-sit Kenzo for Janey, but Susan becomes annoyed when she discovers that she is the only who is unable to stop Kenzo from crying. Meanwhile, Michael wants Ben to read his Geography project, but when Ben can't be bothered. He agrees to do a UFO watch with Michael instead, and Nick is dating three girls at the same time. |
| 45 |
"Loco Parentis" |
Andrea Solomons |
Dewi Humphreys |
23 May 2003 |
| Ben and Susan are forced to attend parenting classes by Michael's head teacher (Owen Brenman) after he plays truant from school, and Susan is told that she is too interventionist, so she tries to become laid back like Ben, but Michael actually misses the authority. Meanwhile, Roger tries to become more hard and tough so Abi will go out with him. |
| 46 |
"The Canary Cage" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
30 May 2003 |
| After Susan gets a free holiday for four, she, Ben, Nick and Michael all go to Lanzarote in Spain. However, Ben's luggage gets lost, and then all his credit cards and money are stolen and he is forced to beg to Nick for money. Ben also upsets the people in the next house by accindentally taking indecent photos with his new digital camera. Meanwhile, Michael spends most of his time out. Guest starring Christopher Ryan and Hetty Baynes. |
| 47 |
"May the Best Man Win" |
Georgia Pritchett |
Dewi Humphreys |
6 June 2003 |
| Abi's father, Ben's cousin, Richard Harper (Anthony Head) is getting married for a fifth time, to 18-year-old Gina Beresford and he asks Ben to be the best man, which means Ben has to organise the stag night. The wedding makes Abi annoyed, especially as Gina Beresford was at the same school as her. Meanwhile, when Michael refuses to do the washing-up, no one else does it either. |
| 48 |
"It's a Window Filled Life" |
Fred Barron and Sophie Hetherington |
Dewi Humphreys |
13 June 2003 |
| Roger goes to the Harpers saying that one of his patients had got an infectious disease from Peru called "Ortiz River Fever", so Susan puts the whole house under quarantine. Michael stays upstairs with Fiona, while Nick tries to get in the house with a pregnant python called Pamela. Meanwhile, Ben manages to escape the house, meets a man called Clarence and then has an epiphany where he does not exist. Guest starring Russ Abbot. |
| # |
Episode |
Writer/s |
Director/s |
Original Airdate |
| 51 |
"The Mummy Returns" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
19 March 2004 |
| Janey returns home, having being thrown out of Manchester University, but tells Ben and Susan she dropped out. The Police are looking for her, and Susan lies when they turn up at the house, but it turns out the policeman turns out to be an old flame. Also, Janey gets her own flat. Meanwhile, Michael goes religious with a new friend called Hubert and Abi gets involved in naturism. |
| 52 |
"You Don't Know Jack" |
Andrea Solomons |
Dewi Humphreys |
26 March 2004 |
| Michael gets a 'cool' new friend called Jack, who gives Michael street cred while he does Jack's homework. Jack gets a crush on Susan, which Michael encourages, while Ben shares an interest in football and Slade with Jack. |
| 53 |
"What's Up, Docklands?" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
2 April 2004 |
| Ben and Susan flat-sit for their friends Geoff and Stephanie in the Docklands. They have problems with the technology, get lost while looking for the pizza delievery man, set fire to the oven and cause a lot of damage. |
| 54 |
"Luck Be A Lady Tonight" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
16 April 2004 |
| Roger becomes depressed when Abi starts going out with a man called Steve, so Ben and Susan try and help Roger get a girlfriend so he can make Abi jealous. However, Roger ends up with an escort girl who charges him £200 an hour, and Abi's boyfriend turns out to be a slimeball. Meanwhile, Michael gets the house valued and shows people around. |
| 55 |
"First Past The Post" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
23 April 2004 |
| Following the death of their local councillor, Susan stands as an independent candidate in the by-election on the issues of street hygene and speed bumps and changes her middlename to the more statesman like 'Barrington'. Meanwhile, Roger wins The Times crossword, so Ben then tries to do the same, and Michael loses his pet tarantula called Nicola. |
| 56 |
"My Will Be Done" |
Andrea Solomons |
Dewi Humphreys |
30 April 2004 |
| Following the death of Susan's best friend Linda, she thinks about mortality. An Internet site then gives Ben 67 weeks to live, so he decides to write a will and makes Roger Michael's guardian if he dies. Also, Nick comes back from travelling on the Circle Line for six months, and gets a job as an Official Mourner, which he loses when he steals a coffin and crashes three hearses. |
| 57 |
"My Fair Charlady" |
Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Dewi Humphreys |
7 May 2004 |
| Susan gets fed up with doing all the housework, so she hires a super-effiecient cleaner called Martha. However, Susan soon feels redundant and to Ben's annoyance, she says Martha has to go. Meanwhile, Michael gets interested in football to impress a girl and Abi learns the dictionary to get a job at the college library. |
| 58 |
"The Mouth Trap" |
Andrea Solomons |
Dewi Humphreys |
14 May 2004 |
| Mr. Addis, a patient of Ben's, confesses to murdering his wife while under sedation. Susan uses her new found interest in Inspector Morse to prove he committed the crime. Also, Michael claims his new girlfriend is a supermodel. |
| 59 |
"While You Weren't Sleeping" |
Darin Henry |
Dewi Humphreys |
21 May 2004 |
| Ben's snorning starts to keep Susan awake, so they sleep in separate rooms, which puts the whole house under pressure and makes Abi think she is a curse. Janey becomes a personal shopper and changes Michael and Abi's wardrobes. |
| 60 |
"Dentist to the Stars" |
James Cary |
Dewi Humphreys |
28 May 2004 |
| Colin Judd (Peter Capaldi), a famous Hollywood actor, comes to Ben's surgery. But before his second visit Ben hurts his back, and Roger get his famous patients including Jude Law and Kevin Spacey, and is invited to a celebrity party. Meanwhile, when Susan is sacked as tour guide she reapplies but has to revise first, and Michael is doing history coursework. |
| 61 |
"A Wife Less Ordinary" |
Sophie Hetherington |
Dewi Humphreys |
4 June 2004 |
| When Susan gets bored with her predictable life, she has a life swap with Janey for a week, with Susan living at Janey's flat and Janey moving into the Harper household. Ben then moves into his surgery and he and Susan recreate their first date, whilst Janey goes mad pretending she is a housewife with an imaginary husband. |
| 62 |
"The Book of Love" |
Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Dewi Humphreys |
11 June 2004 |
| Susan joins a book club started by her neighbour, John Griffin. But when it turns out to consist of just them he tries to seduce her, but she goes back a second time so she doesn't have to admit she was wrong, as Ben told her what Griffin would do. Meanwhile, Roger buys some very expensive Coldplay tickets from Michael to impress Abi, and Janey becomes Ben's dental assistant and takes Kenzo to work with her. |
| 63 |
"Going Dental" |
James Hendrie and Ian Brown |
Dewi Humphreys |
18 June 2004 |
| When Susan refuses to go to Ben's dental conference at an expensive hotel because she is trying to write a novel, Janey goes instead. Everyone thinks Janey is Ben's mistress, and Ben goes along with this so he can get an important business partnership. Abi also goes to the conference to be with Roger, and Susan, Michael and Hubert soon end up there as well. Guest starring Windsor Davies. |
| # |
Episode |
Writer/s |
Director/s |
Original airdate |
| 66 |
"Bliss for Idiots" |
Paul Minett and Paul Leveson |
Dewi Humphreys |
10 March 2006 |
| Ben is unhappy with his patients, but is even less happy with Susan's book-writing house guest. Perhaps the Brotherhood of the Cockerel has the answer. Also, Roger speaks the Welsh to Abi and Alfie joins in. Guest starring Olivia Hallinan. |
| 67 |
"The Spokes Person" |
Paul Minett, Bert Tyler-Moore, George Jeffrie, Tess Morris and Brian Leveson |
Dewi Humphreys |
17 March 2006 |
| Ben starts a one-man anti-cycling campaign which causes chaos in the household, and Susan compounds it with her fund-raising efforts. |
| 68 |
"Dentally Unstable" |
Andrea Solomons |
Dewi Humphreys |
31 March 2006 |
| While Ben is away, Janey starts an affair with a dentist whose charm captivates the rest of the females in the Harper household, while Michael's latest scam eventually puts everyone at risk. |
| 69 |
"Living the Dream" |
Tom Leopold |
Dewi Humphreys |
7 April 2006 |
| Ben and Susan join a pyramid selling scheme on Roger's advice, and against Michael's. |
| 70 |
"An Embarrassment of Susans" |
Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Dewi Humphreys |
14 April 2006 |
| Ben buys the house next door to help with the family finances, but ends up involved in a "squatter's rights" dilemma; Susan tries to fix Michael up with a new girlfriend called Suzanne, but the similarity is not limited to the name. |
| 71 |
"And Other Animals" |
Tom Leopold |
Dewi Humphreys |
21 April 2006 |
| With Nick still away, Michael joining the Army, and Janey getting her stuff out of the attic, Susan is feeling deserted. Then a stray dog appears and tries to become man's best friend. Unfortunately, the man he chooses is Ben. |
| 72 |
"The Art of Being Susan" |
Paul Minett and Paul Leveson |
Dewi Humphreys |
28 April 2006 |
| With Ben away again, Susan is invited to dinner by a wealthy art collector. Her mother, Grace, is gathering a collection of her own, and Roger is summoning up the courage to pop the question to Abi. |
| # |
Episode |
Writer/s |
Director/s |
Original airdate |
| 74 |
"The Ego Has Landed" |
Tom Anderson |
Dewi Humphreys |
6 April 2007 |
| Ben and Susan have dinner with Les and Clare Morton, who they met in Corfu, who ask Ben to be a sperm donor for them, something that increases Ben's ego. However, Dr. Kent Hawthorne (Jeremy Clyde) tells Ben that his sperm are "too lazy." Meanwhile, Janey is horrified when Kenzo's father, Mark Jameson, arrives and says that he now wants to be part of Kenzo's life. Janey is then upset when Kenzo calls Mark's wife, Linda, his "new Mummy", and she stops Mark from seeing Kenzo, until Susan persuades her otherwise. Abi has a dream that Roger cheated on her and later dreams that she has slept with Orlando Bloom. |
| 75 |
"Four Affairs and a Funeral" |
Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Dewi Humphreys |
13 April 2007 |
| Henry (Eric Sykes), an elderly patient of Ben's, comes to the surgery for treatment and confesses he is unhappy in his marriage; he feels that his wife, at the age of 42, might be too old for him, so he has started an affair with a much younger woman. However, Henry soon dies in the surgery chair. |
| 76 |
"Once More with Feeling" |
Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Dewi Humphreys |
20 April 2007 |
| Susan suggests to Ben that they renew their wedding vows, but he is reluctant and when he is given director's tickets for a football match, they have to find a compromise that allows both to happen on the same day. Meanwhile, Janey is trying to getting Kenzo into St. Justin's School, and to do so has to impress the Vicar, Denis, who soon asks Janey out, but later goes off after a conversation with Susan. However, he still agrees to recommended Kenzo for the school. Also, Abi and Roger decide to marry on a Saturday. |
| 77 |
"Dutch Art and Dutch Courage" |
Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Dewi Humphreys |
27 April 2007 |
| Susan is going away for the weekend with a millionaire James Garrett (Robert Bathurst) on an art-buying trip, which makes Ben jealous. At the hotel it is discovered that James's assistant forgot to book him a room, so he and Susan have to share a twin room. Meanwhile, Michael experiences his first failure when he fails his driving test. The following day Ben drives him to his university interview, and on the way buys Michael his first pint, which means he throws up over the professor. Also, Janey hurts her neck at the gym and Alfie gives her an amazing massage. |
| 78 |
"Susan of Troy" |
Ed Dyson |
Dewi Humphreys |
4 May 2007 |
| Susan's mother Grace visits, and tells them she has got married on holiday to Brad. Soon after Ben, Susan, Michael, Janey, Alfie, Grace, Brad, Abi and Roger appear on a family edition of The Weakest Link, presented by Anne Robinson, after Michael applied to go on. Abi is voted off first, followed by Roger, Brad and Janey. Before Grace is voted off, she reveals on air that in 1973 a drunken Susan married a wrestler called Troy the Punisher in Las Vegas. Susan is then voted off, followed by a furious Ben, who demands to know what happened. Susan tells him the marriage was annulled after one day. In the head to head, Alfie beats Michael to win the £3000 prize money. |
| 79 |
"One of the Boys" |
David Cantor |
Dewi Humphreys |
11 May 2007 |
| Ben's old University friend, Charlie Briggs (Diana Weston) arrives and when he arrives Ben faints as it is revealed Charlie has had a sex change and is now a woman. She asks Ben to give her away at her forthcoming wedding, but his initial reluctance sees Susan agree to give her away instead. Meanwhile, Roger's mother Nerys Bailey (Olwen Rees) arrives from Wales to meet Abi. She treats Roger like a child, and says that as a wedding present she is buying them a house next to hers in Wales. Susan has to force Roger to tell his mother he does not want to live next to her. Janey needs £10,000 so she can buy a share in a vintage clothing company, but the bank refuses her a loan. |
| 80 |
"Abi Ever After" |
George Jeffrie and Bert Tyler-Moore |
Dewi Humphreys |
18 May 2007 |
| The day before Roger and Abi's wedding, Ben and Susan hold a party. Abi's mother Shelley (Lorraine Chase), who has been married several times, tries to make a pass at Ben. Meanwhile, Michael and Alfie try to chat up a girl, and both tell her the other is gay. On the wedding day, Ben is best man and Janey is bridesmaid. It is also Janey's birthday, and her boyfriend Steve dumps her over the phone. When taking their vows, Abi says she cannot marry Roger, and tells Susan that she fears she will end up like her mother. However, Susan talks her round and Abi and Roger marry. |
| 81 |
"Breaking Up Ain't Hard To Do" |
Paul Minett and Brian Leveson |
Dewi Humphreys |
25 May 2007 |
| Ben and Susan's oldest friends, Ted and Joanna Draper (Geoffrey McGivern and Emma Amos), are having marriage problems and Ben and Susan soon get involved. They then argue themselves about what in the house belongs to who. Meanwhile, Janey wants Kenzo to appear in a television advert for breakfast cereal, but pulls him out just before the audition and is then offered a part herself. Michael tries unsuccessfully to make Alfie a Internet musical star. |
| 82 |
"Life Begins At Fifty" |
George Jeffrie and Bert Tyler-Moore |
Dewi Humphreys |
8 June 2007 |
| Susan is arrested for stealing a pair of £250 sunglasses, at the same as she is going through the menopause. However, she refuses to accept that this has caused her to forget to pay for them. When the case goes to court Ben defends her and tries to persuade the Court that the stealing was a result of the menopause. The Judge (Nichola McAuliffe) dismisses the case and gives Susan advice on the menopause. Meanwhile, Alfie takes Kenzo to the park for Janey and meets a girl called Melanie, and pretends Kenzo is his son and Janey his ex-wife. |
| # |
Episode |
Writer/s |
Director/s |
Original Airdate |
| 84 |
"The Parent Trap" |
Paul Minett and Brian Leveson |
Baz Taylor |
11 April 2008 |
| Ben is delighted when he takes delivery of a large plasma television for his neighbour Mr. MacIntyre (Peter McNally), who is on holiday. Michael tells Ben and Susan that Nikki (Ellie Beaven), his girlfriend of three months, is pregnant. He wants to propose to her, but her deeply religious parents, Mr. and Mrs. Baker (Phil Nice and Regina Freedman), dislike the idea but suggest Ben and Susan donate £20,000 for the child's upbringing. When Nikki's parents throw her out, she moves in with Michael. Shortly after Mr. and Mrs. Baker arrive to talk to Nikki, and the Harpers leave them alone in the lounge. After hearing nothing, they go into the lounge to discover that the whole pregnancy was a scam and the Bakers have stolen nearly everything, including the plasma television. Meanwhile, Janey is dating widowed Daniel (Adam James) and is determinded that Kenzo and Daniel's son Joshua (Matthew Fenton) should get on. |
| 85 |
"Let's Not Be Heisty" |
Ed Dyson |
Baz Taylor |
18 April 2008 |
| When Ben goes to his bank to pay in a cheque from Alfie for two years rent, he walks in during a robbery. Minutes later Janey follows him in. The robbers are a bickering couple Joan (Pauline Quirke) and Gary (Perry Benson), while the other hostages are Jim McKenzie (Sean Scanlan), manager Peter Warwick (Simon Chandler) and chief cashier Belinda Smith (Emma Kennedy). Janey is soon released in return for food, and hours later the police storm the bank and the other hostages are released. With Susan away, during the robbery a young, blonde Family Liaison Officer Penny Bishop (Georgia Moffett) comes round to comfort Michael and he takes advantage of the situation. |
| 86 |
"Cards on the Table" |
Paul Minett and Brian Leveson |
Baz Taylor |
25 April 2008 |
| Ben becomes addicted to poker while Susan has become addicted to seeing clairvoyant Zelda Nobbs (Anna Chancellor). Zelda tells Susan that Ben will die the following Thursday at 9.04pm. When her other predictions come true, Ben and Susan plan to spend his final moments having sex. Just as they are about to, they realise their lounge clock has stopped and it is already 9.30pm. To celebrate him not dying, they decide to got to Venice. Meanwhile, Susan suggests Roger gets some friends after he is annoyed that Abi goes out with her friends. Roger then goes out for the night with Michael and his friends, and plays poker with Ben's poker circle. |
| 87 |
"The Wax Job" |
Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida |
Baz Taylor |
2 May 2008 |
| Susan is made the manager of the art gallery, and immediatley has to prepare for a new exhibition. Meanwhile, Ben retires when he sells out to the Cavatex Corporation, which has become Roger's employer. Ben then starts painting model military figures and uses Alfie's room as a hobby room. Alfie then moves into Michael's room, and Janey soon has to give them relationship advice so they get on better. Ben soon gets bored of his new hobby, and assists Susan to set up the exhibition. When he gets the money for the surgery, and it is less than he expected, Ben has to go to Cavatex and persuade them he is commited to Cavatex so he gets his job back. |
| 88 |
"Neighbour Wars" |
Darin Henry |
Baz Taylor |
9 May 2008 |
| Ben accidentally drives into Mr. Casey (Nickolas Grace), the neighbour whose dog he previously ran over, and he ends up in hospital. The Police decide to take no action, but Ben wants Mr. Casey to sign a disclaimer so he cannot later be sued. Mr. Casey then spends his time recovering in Ben's house with Ben trying to persuade him to sign the disclaimer. However, Mr. Channing (Jonathan Aris), from the insurance company tells Ben he believes it is a scam and Ben then tries to catch Mr. Casey out. However, in the process he sits fire to his bedroom and they then have to make a deal so both can claim insurance. Meanwhile, Susan and Kenzo are in Scarborough for a week with Susan's mother, and Janey takes the opportunity to go out clubbing. |
| 89 |
"Can't Get No Satisfaction" |
David Cantor |
Nic Phillips |
16 May 2008 |
| Ben reforms the rock and roll band he was with in his 20s, The Revolutions, and makes contact with guitarists Ziggy (Philip Bird) and Danny (David Keyes) and drummer Sticks (Rowland Rivron). However, they soon want to sack him as the lead singer. Susan has got the heart to tell him, until Ben critises Kenzo during a school piano recital. Meanwhile, Michael organises dates for himself and Alfie over the Internet, but get their photographs mixed up and they have to pretend they are each other on the double date with Terri (Manal El-Feitury) and Georgia (Louise Mardenborough). |
| 90 |
"The Abi Habit" |
Tom Anderson |
Nic Phillips |
23 May 2008 |
| Having not had sex for several weeks, Susan decides that to spice up their sex lives they should abstain from sex for three weeks. Ben is annoyed with this, but Susan is determined. Meanwhile, Roger gets a note from Abi that says she has left him to become a nun. Ben and Susan drive him to Abi's convent and she and Roger talk, but he is unable to persuade her to leave the convent and they leave without her. Janey asks Michael to look into her latest boyfriend, Ron (Ben Jones), and discovers that he still lives with his mother, something Janey says does not concern her. |
