List of Is It Legal? episodes

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The following is an episode list for the British sitcom Is It Legal?.

Contents

[edit] Series 1: 1995

[edit] Death In Hounslow

This is the first episode of the ITV sitcom Is It Legal?

The episode was originally transmitted on Tuesday September 12, 1995.

[edit] Reason For Title

The title refers to the fact that there is a 'Death In Hounslow' in this episode.

The person who dies in this episode is Mr. Dobson who Colin accidentally stabs in the head.

[edit] Plot

Colin Lotus begins his first day at Lotus Spackman & Phelps. He's full of enthusiasm for the job and appears to be more than a little accident-prone! Stella Phelps is making sure that Alison, the firm's secretary, welcomes Colin properly.

She reminds Alison that she's only employed by the firm because her estate agent boyfriend Steve puts a lot of conveyancing work their way! Bob Birch is obsessed with the girl who delivers the sandwiches from Mr Bappy, the shop that is below the office. He orders a bap everyday just to see her. Today he's ordered an Aubergine and Marmalade bap but he never eats them instead he puts them in a drawer in his desk.

Dick Spackman palms off a case of dog custody on Stella. The dog, Malcolm doesn't seem interested in living with either of his owners and runs off unfortunately getting knocked down by a bus. Colin accidentally impales his first client, Mr Dobson, on the paperknife set that his parents gave him on passing his law exams. Paramedics arrive to take Colin and Mr Dobson to the hospital but Mr Dobson is pronounced dead on arrival. Mr Dobson was about to sign a will leaving £20,000 worth of bonds to the firm, but did he sign it before he died? And to top the day off, Alison shreds documents for a boxer's plastic surgery case that Stella wanted copied as she's in court for that afternoon!

Colin, Bob and Alison desperately try to put the file back together but they can't replace a photo of the client's nose. Colin finds a picture in a book that bares a resemblance to the client so they put that in instead. Unfortunately, they've replaced photos of a tall, black boxer with pictures of a small, white boxer. Dick wants Alison and Darren who is the firm's office boy to sign Mr Dobson's will. Alison says that would be illegal and wrong, so he offers them both £50 and they proceed to sign. He then offers Darren more money to forge Mr Dobson’s signature.

The bonds Mr Dobson was leaving to the firm were in the file that Alison shredded. Bob says he has no choice but to resign. Alison tells him he's given his life to the firm, why should he resign. Bob comments that one of them will have to resign, Alison asks for his parking space when he's gone. Bob offers his resignation to the partners but Stella won't accept it, instead she asks him to collect Malcolm the dog from the vets but Colin offers to do it and the episode ends with him collecting Malcolm from the vets and carrying him home.

[edit] Cast

Cast Characters
Patrick Barlow Bob
Imelda Staunton Stella Phelps
Richard Lumsden Colin Lotus
Jeremy Clyde Dick Spackman
Kate Isitt Alison
Matthew Ashforde Darren
Charles Simon Mr. Dobson
Nicole Arumugam Sarah (Credited as Miss Bappy)
John Thomson Paramedic
Rupert Bates Man with dog
Cate Fowler Woman with dog


[edit] Whodunnit?

This is the second episode of Series 1 The episode was originally transmitted on Tuesday September 19, 1995.

[edit] Reason For Title

The title refers to the fact that somebody has photocopied their bottom in this episode.

The person 'Whodunnit' was Bob who ironically accused Alison and Darren of doing it.

[edit] Plot

Stella is leaving the pub, she's so drunk that on her first attempt she seatbelts herself into the back seat but then she finds the front seat and she's about to switch the engine on when a policeman knocks on her window. To calm her nerves she searches around for mints but instead she pops pound coins into her mouth. Predictably she is arrested for drink driving.

Alison is bored as usual. Bob asks her advice on how to win the girl from Mr Bappy. She advises him that a big romantic gesture is needed and that he shouldn't order exotic baps as he chose the marrow and marmite filling! Her suggestions include a balloon ride but Bob's allergic to wicker so he drops that idea and considers taking her on a rollercoaster.

Stella storms into the office in a bad mood after her arrest the night before. Opening her mail, she discovers that someone in the office has photocopied their bottom and has sent it to Brian Wigg who is one of the firm's wealthy clients who wasn't amused. She calls Bob into her office, he says that it could've been worse, it could've been a front bottom! Stella wants him to find out who's responsible so she can sack them immediately.

Colin thinks that the team should all try and find out what's wrong with Stella and help her. Nobody except Colin is very keen so he decides to go in first. His attempts to find out what's wrong with Stella, but that puts her more in a bad mood than before!

Bob goes to visit Darren in the archive room and he shows him the photocopy and accuses Darren of being responsible. Darren points out that this bottom has a mole, and as he doesn't it can't be him and he is willing to prove it by taking his trousers down!

Colin persuades Alison to try her hand at 'nurturing' by pushing her through Stella's door. Alison's attempts are even worse than Colin's as she insults Stella and is thrown out of her office. Bob accuses Alison about the photocopy but she tells him it can't be hers as it's a man's bottom.

When the office is empty, Bob decides to try out photocopying various parts of his body including his bottom! Unfortunately for him, the girl from Mr Bappy chooses this moment to deliver the bap that he has ordered to the office. She quickly receives the money she is owed and rushes off leaving her order book behind. Bob spots the order book and notices it has the name Jacinta on it. Bob is overjoyed to think he finally knows her name. He orders a bunch of flowers to be delivered to Jacinta with a note.

Darren is attempting to cheer Stella up by telling her a story about how his mates nicked some bollards, clearly Stella isn't interested and calls Bob to come and remove him. She then storms to Dick's office and tells him that she was arrested for drink driving. Dick welcomes her to the human race! He rings his old friend at the CPS and arranges to have any charges against Stella dropped. She feigns outrage at his intervention but quickly puts him off when he says he can always ring back if she likes.

Stella asks Bob if he's sorted out who photocopied their bottom yet. He lies and tells her it was the photocopy repair man. Stella shrugs it off and admits it was a funny joke. Jacinta arrives at the office carrying her bouquet - unfortunately it's not the girl of his dreams, who is called Sarah - she wants to know who Bob is. Bob is stunned but makes the best of the situation by taking Jacinta out for a rollercoaster ride!

It's later that night in the office and Alison is photocopying her breasts but unfortunately for her Stella walks in and she picks up the photocopies and faxes them to all their clients!

[edit] Cast

Cast Characters
Imelda Staunton Stella Phelps
Darren Tunstall Policeman
Kate Isitt Alison
Patrick Barlow Bob Birch
Richard Lumsden Colin Lotus
Matthew Ashforde Darren
Jeremy Clyde Dick Spackman
Nicole Arumugam Sarah
Billie Reynolds Jacinta