List of Consolevania episodes

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This is a list of episodes of Consolevania in order of release.

Contents

[edit] Pilot episode

In a posting on the Rllmuk forums (dated 15 January 2004) the planned contents of the pilot episode of Consolevania were listed [1] by Robert Florence under the alias BigLime. Some of the planned content was either cut altogether or moved into later episodes.

The reviews for Castlevania: Lament of Innocence, Siren and Bujingai made it in, whereas Headhunter Redemption did not and the Biohazard: Outbreak review was bumped to the second episode.

Features on the GP32 and the Salamander series were cut entirely, as were a variety of promising comedy sections that are listed as follows:

  • Girl Gamers - what they really like, and what they're really like
  • REGULAR: Kids Are Shit At Games (Where we play the youngsters at games and hammer them, ending the myth that the younger you are the more skilled you are at the games.)
  • REGULAR-A BIG HAND: Konami (A regular feature where we applaud the history of great publishers, developers, and game characters.)
  • GAMING TV - 13 wrongs don't make a right
  • Metal Gear My Mate's House (The first in a potentially illegal series of re-enactments of in-game elements- First, Metal Gear, and a break-in to a fella's house in the style of Solid Snake.)
  • DEAD AUNTIE'S BEST: Virtual Hydlide vs. Virtuoso (A face-off between games so bad your dead Auntie must have bought them.)
  • LEVEL SELECT: The Akina Downhill (A regular feature that focuses on one level of a game, one track of a racing game)
  • COUNT PADULA's CRYPT: Our only concession towards the consolevania moniker... Christ...An interview with a 'celebrity' about 'games' and necrophilia.

Out of these, COUNT PADULA's CRYPT would appear to have evolved into John Gacy's 'Kiddies' Corner', whereas Metal Gear My Mate's House was modified into an end-of-show sketch on an episode of videoGaiden.

[edit] Series One

[edit] Episode 1

Length: 56 minutes
Introductions: Hitler, Legend, Mr. Robert, Mr. Ryan
Reviews: Castlevania: Lament of Innocence (PS2), The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind (Xbox), Bujingai (PS2), Siren (PS2)
Regular Sketches: Legend, Hitler (rant), An Overblood reference
One-off Sketches/Features: The Shenmue drinking game, an extensive interview with a games retailer

[edit] Episode 2

Length: 49 minutes
Introductions: None
Reviews: Glass Rose (PS2), Kya (PS2), Biohazard: Outbreak (PS2), Romance Of The Three Kingdoms VIII (PS2), .hack//INFECTION (PS2)
Regular Sketches: Legend, Cosplay (Virtuoso), Hitler (complains to the retailer GAME)
One-off Sketches/Features: Cosplay - The Consolevania Way, A Day In The Life, Videogaming c. 50,000 BC

[edit] Episode 3

Length: 46 minutes
Introductions: Kenny, John Gacy
Reviews: Syberia II (Xbox), Driv3r (Xbox), Showdown: Legends of Wrestling (Xbox), Full Spectrum Warrior (Xbox), Spiderman 2 (platform unclear)
Regular Sketches: Hitler (an update from the front)
One-off Sketches/Features: Robert Florence appears on local television (in regards to Manhunt and the phrase "bummed in the gob" as part of a bet on the rllmuk forums), End of Level Boss

[edit] Episode 4, Type 4

Length: 51 minutes
Introductions: Peter Molyneux, Joanne, Sammy Miller, Louise, Shigsy
Reviews: Winning Eleven 8 (PS2), Gradius V (PS2), The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay (Xbox), Michigan (PS2)
Regular Sketches: Legend, Kenny, Tap Tap Tap, John Gacy's Kiddies' Corner
One-off Sketches/Features: The 'Ten' Best N64 Games Ever

[edit] Episode 5, The Musical

Length: 53 minutes
Introductions: None
Reviews: Halo 2 (Xbox), Cabela's Deer Hunt: 2005 Season (Xbox), Tales of Symphonia (GameCube), Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (PS2)
Regular Sketches: Legend (rap), Tap Tap Tap (DDR), Top 10 (SNES games), Hitler (home video), Sammy Miller (GTA: San Andreas) , John Gacy (karaoke), The Shigsy Show ("Let's Say Nintendo's Doomed!", parody of Let's Call the Whole Thing Off), Kenny ("You're the Best! Around!")
One-off Sketches/Features: Consolevania: RISE!, Master Chef Chief, Decision Commander, The Deer Hunter (with lightguns), CV Top Gear, Dominik Diamond

[edit] Episode 6, The Christmas Special

Length: 25 minutes
Introductions: None
Reviews: None
Regular Sketches: John Gacy (Santa), Hitler (meets Patrick Moore), Mr. Kenny (As a Christmas present)
One-off Sketches/Features: Consolevania Game Awards 2004, Jesus on Xbox, Eddie Murphy

[edit] Episode 7, The Resident Evil Special

Length: 28 minutes
Introductions: Courtney
Reviews: Overblood (PSOne), Resident Evil 4 (Gamecube)
Regular Sketches: Hitler (and his plans to take over the show), Consolevania News, Tap Tap Tap (while escaping from Hitler), John Gacy (out in the woods), In reference to the previous episode, Kenny kills Mr. Robert as Mr. Ryan, who is ignorant of this, sings "You're the best! Around!"
One-off Sketches/Features: Mr. Ryan's evil girlfriend, Resident Evil: Tumblers, Criswell

[edit] Episode 8, The Retro Special

Length: 36 minutes
Introductions: None
Reviews: A selection of Commodore 64 titles (with emphasis on Castle of Terror), A selection of ZX Spectrum titles, Speedball 2
Regular Sketches: Hitler (parodying Davros), Legend, Kenny (pardoying the Master), Consolevania News with Noel Edmonds
One-off Sketches/Features: Doctor Who-themed links, Jimmy Saville, old games adverts

[edit] Series Two

[edit] Episode 1

Length: 35 minutes
Introductions: None
Reviews: Batman Begins (Xbox), Conker: Live & Reloaded (Xbox), 7 Sins (PS2), Battlefield 2 (PC)
Regular Sketches: Legend, John Gacy (interrupting a review of Another Code on the Nintendo DS), Manpuncher vs Boxhead
One-off Sketches/Features: Metal Gear Solid 3 re-edited and voiced by Lylatians, Live from Tokyo, CV MILF search

[edit] Episode 2

Length: 32 minutes
Introductions: Mister Jeff Minter, Kevin Leddins
Reviews: Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude (Xbox), Sid Meier's Pirates! (Xbox), Guild Wars (PC), Overblood 2 (PS)
Regular Sketches: Hitler (in Pimp My Console, a parody of Pimp My Ride), Consolevania News
One-off Sketches/Features: Consolevania Dance Off, Robert's Impersonation Spot, Consolevania Tips (featuring Osama bin Laden), A games-oriented re-edit of Perversion for Profit, NSJ (parody of New Games Journalism)

[edit] Episode 3

Length: 29 minutes
Introductions: Cameron and Fraser, TEAM
Previews: Final Fantasy 12 (PS2)
Reviews: Marc Ecko's Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure (PS2), Dragon Quest VIII (PS2), Shadow of the Colossus (PS2), Trapt (PS2)
Regular Sketches: Consolevania News with Jessica Fletcher, TEAM call out Codemasters (The Art of the Square-Go)
One-off Sketches/Features: QuizVania (Quizmania parody), Special Report undercover visit to a games shop attempting to false advertise games, Rockstar Presents Table Tenni$, Michael Jackson's Moonwalker/I'm the Leader of the Gang (I Am) parody, Dangers of the Nintendo DS

[edit] Episode 4, Consolevania XXX

Length: 29 minutes
Introductions: None
Reviews: Lula 3D (Console Unspecified), Final Fight Streetwise (PS2), New Fantasia (Coin-Op), ThriXXX Technology Games: 3D Sex Villa & Hentai 2 3D (PC)
Regular Sketches: Consolevania News Africa, TEAM 'So Who's Next?'
One-off Sketches/Features: Night Trap with Robert and Ryan, Reggie Fils-Aime on J Allard, Psychic Detective, Alicia Rhodes & Pornstar Game Addiction

[edit] Episode 5

Length: 30 minutes
Introductions: None
Reviews: Makai Kingdom (PS2), Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (Xbox 360), Far Cry Instincts: Predator (Xbox 360), Dreamfall (Xbox)
Regular Sketches: John Gacy's Top Ten Kids Games, End of Level Boss and Mid Level Sub Boss: Tickets to E3,
One-off Sketches/Features: Phoenix Wright defends O.J. Simpson, Shoes on the Roof, Marble Madness, KOEI Spotlight, Hatris: Get it on!, Reggie Fils-Aime & J Allard: Purple Rain (with sex scene filmed by Ken Kutaragi)

[edit] Episode 6

Length: 31 minutes
Introductions: Louie "The Light" Gunn
Reviews: Sensible Soccer 2006 (Xbox), World Poker Tour (PS2) & Stacked (Xbox), Urban Chaos: Riot Response (Platform Unspecified), Hitman: Blood Money (Xbox 360)
Regular Sketches: Ask Kenny, TEAM call out Rare, Manpuncher vs. Boxhead 2 Proposal
One-off Sketches/Features: Next Gen Overblood,Football (as dubbed by International Super Star Soccer 98's announcer) Michael McDonald's music for Halo 3, Louie "The Light" Gunn: Videogame Standup

[edit] Episode 7, Independents Day

Length: 31 minutes
Introductions: None
Reviews: Naked War (PC), Galactic Civilizations 2 (PC), The Ship (PC)
Indie Roundup: Bullet_Candy, Narbacular Drop, Nero, Tremulous, Break Quest, New Star Soccer 3
Regular Sketches: Ask Kenny, Kevin Leddins - NSJ Picketing
One-off Sketches/Features: Finding the Coathanger Mic, Exclusive Behind the Scenes Footage including interviews with "Director" Brian Blessed

[edit] Episode 8, Dreamcasts From Another World

Length: 33 minutes
Introductions: None
Reviews: Lack of Love (DC), Blue Stinger (DC), Maken X (DC), Illbleed (DC)
Regular Sketches: Kenny leaves to become king of the alternate universe
One-off Sketches/Features: The Alternate Dreamcast Universe, Rab on Lovematch (TV Dating Parody), Rab plays Uno with Xbox Live Vision, Father Segato - Ten Steps to Segasm, Rab and Ryan pitch Consolevania to Dragons' Den

[edit] Series Three

Rab had promised to begin the Third Series of Consolevania before July, and in true last-minute Consolevania fashion, it was released on the evening of the 30th of June 2007.

[edit] Episode 1, Consolevania Towers

Length: 36 minutes
Introductions: Max: The Consolevania Computer, Ziggy "I'm not evil" Springsteen, Edith and Rosemary, Emilio Zerg & his boyfriend Dave, Victor Douglas Ramshorn III & Emily
Reviews: Sherlock Holmes: The Awakened (PC), Rogue Galaxy (PS2), Overlord (360),
PS3 Roundup: Audio Visualizer, Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection, Super Stardust HD, Motorstorm, Gran Turismo HD, Genji: Days of the Blade, Alien: Resurrection (PS1), Resistance: Fall of Man, Nucleus, Calling All Cars!, Ridge Racer 7
Emilo Zerg & Dave's Roundup: Colin McRae: DiRT, Earth Defense Force 2017 (360), Command & Conquer 3 (PC)
Regular Sketches: The Boys move into Consolevania Towers, Meeting Ziggy Springsteen, Edith and Rosemary's Frightful Memories: Mad Panic Coaster, Rab and Ryan ask Max about Kenny, Kenny returns to our dimension and visits Ryan's old house to destroy Overblood
One-off Sketches/Features: Ken Kutaragi on the road, Emilo Zerg & Dave's Funk-isizer roundup, Victor's Video Diary: Dead or Alive Xtreme

[edit] Episode 2, You are Desirable

Length: 42 minutes
Introductions: Richard Rankin, Bullet Time & MC Meatshield Micro
Reviews: Big Brain Academy (Wii), Armored Core 4 (360), Torrente 3: The Protector (PS2), G1 Jockey (Wii), The Darkness (360), Global Defence Force Tactics (PS2)
Bullet Time & MC Meatshield Micro's Roundup: FlatOut: Ultimate Carnage (360), Ouendan 2 (DS), Ninja Gaiden Sigma (PS3)
Regular Sketches: Kenny visits Consolevania Towers after getting an invite to a party held by Peter Molyneux and returns to the boys, Rab and Ryan hijack Nintendo's Keynote speech E3 2007, Edith and Rosemary's Frightful Memories: Escape from Monster Manor, Rab has a chug
One-off Sketches/Features: Woglinde Street (Has he seen my trousers?), Ziggy Springsteen's Subliminal Messages: Buy a PS3, Bonus Feature: Halo 3 Live Action Film

[edit] Episode 3, Unnamed Episode (cat no: 25677-3) (aka The Black Episode)

Length: 27 minutes
Release Date: 9th September 2007
Reviews: Bioshock (360), Space Giraffe (360), Pipi & Bibi's (360), Zombie Virus (PS2), Robin Hood Quest/Snow Queen Quest (PS2), GrimGrimoire (PS2), Railfan (PS3)
Regular Sketches: Safe Gaming by Sammy Miller: Portables
One-off Sketches/Features: "In Defense of Beastiality" by Peter Molyneux, The head of Phil Collins, RATSAMAN LeGeORGE: halo cury (sic), Rab and Ryan play Wii Fit
Notes: 25677-3 was released virally over BitTorrent, the reason given was that the fictional Sponsors of the show (introduced in Season 3 Episode 1) and Ziggy Springsteen felt that the episode was unfit to be released and that Rab and Ryan were to be suspended from further involvement with the show. In itself, it is not a conventional episode of Consolevania using dadaist and obscure sequences and parodies in both the reviews and sketches. Game footage is recorded in the 'classic' style of filming the TV with a video camera. The alternate name The Black Episode is in reference to The Black Album, an album by Prince, which was pulled before release, and featured a similar catalogue number.

[edit] 'C', Episode 1

Length: 15 minutes
Release Date: 10th October 2007
Reviews: NASCAR '08 (360), Two Worlds (360), NASCAR '08 (360)
One-off Sketches/Features: Zack Eastwood's guide to dating, Top ten games of all time (the top three being Archlord, Lair, and NASCAR '08), Viewers' jokes ('Knock knock' 'Who's there?' 'Forzamo' 'Forzamo who?' 'Forzamo Torsport')
Notes: This episode was supposedly produced by the Sponsors after Rab and Ryan were removed from the show; instead, it is presented by the erstwhile Ziggy Springsteen and Zack Eastwood, both of whom separately review NASCAR '08 during the show. Following the release of this episode, an announcement was posted on the Consolevania news page stating that the Sponsors had terminated their relationship with Ziggy Springsteen, and that all rights to Consolevania had reverted to the original owners.

[edit] Episode 4, Mystery Episode

Note: According to Rab, a special, one-off episode of Consolevania was filmed for the third series and placed on a single VHS cassette, which was then taped to the side of a bin by the riverside in Glasgow. It was picked up by persons unknown. The contents of this episode are unknown. [2]