Lawyer jokes

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Lawyer jokes are a type of professional humor and inside jokes that involve lawyers and other legal professionals.

Contents

[edit] Galanter taxonomy

Marc Galanter, an author of many his books and articles related to law and the legal profession, wrote "Lowering the Bar: Lawyer Jokes and Legal Culture", based on his collection of several thousands of lawyer jokes, some of which trace back to several centuries in the past.[1] In this work, which includes a selection of 300 jokes, he develops a three-part taxonomy of lawyer jokes.

[edit] Perpetual themes

Galanter identifies several perpetual themes that characterize lawyer jokes of long tradition. They include subjects such as:

  • Lawyers Using Lies and Stratagems
  • Lawyers as Economic Predators
  • Lawyers as Playmates of the Devil
  • Lawyers as Fomenters of Strife

[edit] New themes

Galanter concludes that shifting attitudes towards lawyers in the 1980s, in particular a perception of an increased legalization of the American society, lead to new types of lawyer jokes:

  • Lawyers as Betrayers of Trust
  • Moral Deficiencies
  • Objects of Scorn
  • Death Wish Jokes

[edit] Themes specific to the United States

Galanters identifies jokes based on a supposed uniqueness of law and justice in the United States:

  • Lawyers as Enemies of Justice
  • The "Only in America" Joke

[edit] Repurposed jokes

Galanter points out that some lawyer jokes were originally set in some other contexts, and only later retold about lawyers. Conversely, by tracing the history of jokes the author draws some conclusions about society.

[edit] Examples of lawyer joke by type

[edit] Playmates of the Devil

A man who died was supposed to go to Heaven, but ended up in Hell. So, God called Satan, protesting to have that man returned to Heaven where he belonged. When Satan rejected the request, God said he would go to court to get the man back, to which Satan replied, "Where are you going to get a lawyer? They are all down here!"

[edit] Objects of scorn

In a small town trial, the prosecuting attorney called an elderly woman to the stand and asked, "Ma'am, do you know me?"

She replied, "Yes I do. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The Lawyer was stunned, but asked his next question, "Do you know the defense attorney?"

"Why yes, I do. He's has a drinking problem, his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state, and he cheated on his wife with five women, including your wife."

The judge ordered both lawyers to approach the bench, and quietly said, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, I'll throw you in jail for contempt."

[edit] Lawyers as Economic Predators

A reporter says to a defendant clad only in briefs, "I see your attorney lost your case!" The defendant replies, "No, we won!"

[edit] Repurposed jokes

A lawyer falls overboard from a cruise ship in shark infested waters. As the passengers watch in horror, he is immediately encircled by sharks. Just as they expect the worst, the sharks form two lines providing a path for the man to swim back to the ship; "professional courtesy". (A number of jokes with this punch line are known.)

[edit] References