User:King of Hearts/BJAODN Archive/Werewolf Babies
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[edit] Werewolf Babies
Werewolf Babies are an ancient race of beings, being equally wolf and equally baby, yet wholly evil. Such babies resist the appellation of "infantile" or "innocent" through their unholy attributes of deeply-wrinkled countenances, which resemble the festering flesh of the undead; complete failure to "coo"; and a preference of blood over breastmilk.
Werewolf Babies are known to inhabit twilit forests, whence may be heard their maddening bleats. Although reports of such bleats remain rare, Werewolf Baby attacks have skyrocketed of late. The rise in Werewolf Baby maulings/murders is attributable to the simultaneous diminution of quality breastmilk and the increased availability of choice blood. In certain regions of Wallachia and the netherworld, Werewolf Baby hunting is encouraged vociferously by the sheriff deputy.
Werewolf Babies have been sequestered from their human neighbors for millenia beyond recall; this is regrettable, as many scientific, religious, and alchemical innovations owe to the unrelenting efforts of Werewolf Babies.
[edit] History of the Werewolf Babies
The Werewolf Baby story begins with the personage of Qalif Momar Abdul Raul-Shariq, renowned Egyptian circus magnate. Notwithstanding his infantile visage and diminutive stature, Raul-Shariq was a notorious womanizer and nudist. He trained from puphood a pack of jackals to juggle flaming scimitars, celebrated by all Egyptian children as the "Juggling Jackals." Not once did Raul-Shariq leave his home without the protection of those trusty trainees.
The babylike appearance may owe simply to their kinship to
A werewolf baby brutalized the estranged pet goat of actor Humphrey Bogart, a deed which Bogart swiftly repaid by dashing out the baby's brains on a rock.
Attempting to hawk his luxuriant locks of legend at a local swap meet, Raul-Shariq encounters the Wolf God Tyler. Tyler agrees to grant Qalif the grandest audience he's ever known in exchange for Raul-Shariq's coif (Tyler wished to don the mane to obtain the acceptance of Egypt at large). True to his oath, Tyler tranformed Qalif into Werewolf Baby form and sold him into slavery. On the Roman slave barge, Qalif found his greatest audience, performing
[edit] Werewolf Baby Grammar
Until the term "Werewolf Baby" is canonized in the Oxford English Dictionary, it will regrettably remain a proper noun.
