Talk:Kim Peyton
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Initial creation of page from red link. Will continue to improve article. C. Williams (talk) 16:39, 7 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] A Wikipedia believer
I am so pleased to see an article of mine be so well received. This is only my second major contribution to Wikipedia and have been overwhelmed with the support it has received. The Oregon project has ranked it as Medium and now to have a "Did you know..." done on Kim is really making me a Wikipedia believer. I will continue to add to this article as material and photo's arrive from my aunt. She has many of the original covers from Sports Illustrated and other's when Kim was featured in articles and on the cover. I know I need to reference those articles when adding additional details from Kim's life and swimming career. C. Williams (talk) 18:52, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Assessment
At this point this is still a Start class article, it needs a little work to get to B class, but most of the info is already there.
- First, see WP:LEAD and expand on the lead to include a global reference to the US as either an American swimmer or swimmer for the US. Also include that she won Olympic gold and was inducted into the Oregon Sports HOF in the lead.
- Next, the section titles need work: I would remove the sub sections from "Youth & HS" as short sections of just a few sentences are disfavored. Also, for the other section headers, only the first word is capitalized unless later words are proper nouns, so "Oregon Girls Swimming Title" if it remained would only capitalize Oregon. I would personally suggest the following out line:
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- Early years (move the Oregon Sports HOF info to the last section)
- International competition (combine the Oly & Pan Am)
- Later years and legacy (college, HOF, death)
- Factual issue. The 4A classification did not come about until 1990ish so she could not have set the 4A. I would suggest changing it to the "top classification for OSAA at the time" or something along those lines. I would also try to make that records section more prose like, such as: In 1971 she won X, Y, Z. The next year Peyton won X, Y, Z, and Q. etc. I would also start the section with some more background info such as: Kim Peyton was born in city/state X on Month Day, Year, to parent X and parent Y. If you have/can find that info. If not born in Portland, when did the family move there.
That will get this to B class, but great job so far. Aboutmovies (talk) 00:37, 17 February 2008 (UTC)