User:Joshuajohanson/Mixed-Orientation Marriage

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A mixed orientation marriage is a marriage between a man and a woman in which one of the partners has a homosexual or a bisexual orientation. According to the Family Pride Coalition, 20% of gay men[1] and 40% of lesbians[2] in the United States are married to a member of the opposite sex. These marriages are sometimes referred to as 'Brokeback' marriages, which comes from the movie Brokeback Mountain, in which two married men have an affair with each other.[3]

Contents

[edit] Reasons for getting married

Usually, gay people do not heterosexually marry out of convenience or for a cover, but for complex reasons, including everything from discrimination, wishful thinking, to real affection and sexual love.[3] Joe Kort, a counselor specializing in mixed-orientation marriages, said "These men genuinely love their wives. They fall in love with their wives, they have children, they're on a chemical, romantic high, and then after about seven years, the high falls away and their gay identity starts emerging. They don't mean any harm."[3] Others cite spiritual reasons for getting married. One married gay man said his "spiritual identity" had always been "marriage and family."[4] While many hide their orientation from their spouse, others tell their spouse before marriage.[4] Others may not have been aware of their orientation or developed same sex desires after marriage.[5]

Straight people also have their reasons for marrying gay people. Kort said "straight individuals rarely marry gay people accidentally."[6] He theorized that some women find gay men less judgmental and more flexible, while others unconsciously seek partnerships that are not sexually passionate.[3]

[edit] Staying married

heterosexual marriage is not a realistic choice for all men or for their wives. For the former, it requires considerable dedication to family, skill at compartmentalizing sexual impulses, and some heteroeroticism. Their wives require an ability not to see themselves as failed women because of their husbands' attraction to other men as well as a tolerance for ambiguity in the extreme "When Sexual and Religious Orientation Collide," by Douglas Haldeman (Page 798)

[edit] Infidelity

A major concern for those involved in mixed-orientation marriages is infidelity. In 1990, the Social Organization of Sexuality conducted a survey of 2,153 men married to women and 2,588 women married to men in the United States. 131 men(6.1%) and 72 women(2.8%) had had gay sex (mostly during adolescence), with 22 men(1%) and 5 women(.2%) having had it in the last year. 101 men(4.7%) and 135 women(5.2%) reported some level of same-sex attraction, appeal or desire.[7] In Salt Lake City, as high as 40% of men arrested for public gay sex are heterosexually married.[8]

[edit] Misc

Estimates for the number of mixed-oriented marriages in the United States, range between 2 and 4 million.[9]

http://www.glbtq.com/social-sciences/mixed_orientation_marriages.html

[edit] Outline

  • definition/brokeback
  • statistics (prevalence, success rate)
  • infidelity (cruising)
  • reasons for getting in one
  • affects on children
  • Religious views
  • support groups
  • therapy - Kort/conversion therapy
  • famous
  • When Gay guise happens to straight marriage[9]

[edit] Some mixed-orientation marriages


[edit] Cinema

[edit] Support Groups

[edit] BOOKS

  • 201 SIGNS THAT YOUR MAN IS GAY
  • Living Two Lives: Married to a Man and in Love With a Woman
  • "The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families" by Amity Pierce Buxton
  • "My Husband Is Gay: A Woman's Survival Guide," by Carol Grever
  • "Husbands Who Love Men," by Arleen H. Alwood
  • Bonnie Kaye, M. Ed., author of "Is He Straight? A Checklist for Women Who Wonder,"
  • 5 signs [10]
  1. ^ Hentges, Rochelle. "How to tell if your husband is gay", Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, October 4, 2006. 
  2. ^ Sheri & Bob Stritof. Straight Spouses -- What to Do and What Not to Do If Your Spouse is Gay. Retrieved on 2008-01-31.
  3. ^ a b c d Butler, Katy. "Many Couples Must Negotiate Terms of 'Brokeback' Marriages", New York Times, March 7, 2006. 
  4. ^ a b Moore, Carrie A.. "Gay LDS men detail challenges", Deseret Morning News, March 30, 2007. 
  5. ^ Cheney, Patricia. My Story. Discovering Pride.
  6. ^ Kort, Joe (Sept 2005). "The New Mixed Marriage: When One Partner is Gay". Psychotherapy Networker. 
  7. ^ Laumann, Edward O. (1994). The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States. University of Chicago Press, 303-305. 
  8. ^ Bulkeley, Deborah. "Program helps men explore reasons for cruising", Deseret Morning News, Nov. 25, 2007. 
  9. ^ http://www.geocities.com/Str8_Spouse/
  10. ^ [1]
  11. ^ Frontain, Raymond-Jean (2002), “Porter, Cole”, glbtq.com, <http://www.glbtq.com/arts/porter_c.html>. Retrieved on 2007-10-17 
  12. ^ Collis, Clark. "Dear Superstar: David Bowie", Blender, 2002-08.