User:Johnjkeidel

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John Joseph Keidel was born in Boise, Idaho on March 30th, 1981. God took a bunch of spare body parts and threw together this sorry soul just to fill his quota. He attended Roosevelt Elementary through second grade and then home-schooled for the first few months of third grade. He quit home school and started attending Cole Elementary where his mother Lora taught as a reading specialist. He attended Cole through sixth grade when his family moved to a different school district which took him to seventh grade at West Junior High School. After 3 grueling years of braces, acne and an awkward body phase, John started 10th grade at Borah High School. High school was more fun because he slacked off with all his friends and accomplished next to nothing....except for getting very good at playing computer games. The sun was his enemy. The computer monitor glow was an ally.... He started working at the Plaza Twin dollar movie theater when he was 16. This began a period in his life that would pathetically be known "basic training for life". No longer was he sheltered under the umbrella of strict roman catholicism...Nay, he experienced the ugliness and beauty of life and hormones all fueled by heart-stopping buttered popcorn and soda! He experienced his first loves on the couch in the flickering projector room (and not just his hand lubed with butter, mind you...although this was nice as well). He experienced freedom in a way that sheltered Catholic boys always do.....with a fucking Catholic guilt complex. You know that bumper sticker that says "Feeling guilty for no reason? YOU'RE CATHOLIC..."? There is no more true of a statement. Realizing that he slacked off way too much in High School to amount to much of anything in Boise flippin Idaho, he did what most insecure teens with a hate for their hometown do.....enlisted in the Army! He signed away four years of his life for an 8K cash bonus and the GI Bill. One month later he could have done the same thing but for 20K and the GI Bill. Gotta love life. He was a 13F or Forward Observer. He was the guy with the radio on his backpack saying to the enemy, "please hit me with the bouncing betty first". The Army was not a good fit for this eager to experience life teen. He did not take well to being told to hurry up and wait. He became colloquially known as a shit-bag to some. He shaped up a little after year three when he met the future Mrs. ex-Keidel Tiffany Taylor. She is another piece of work to spread her legs for Mr. Keidel and deserving of her own biography. He eventually got all the partying out of his sytem and got promoted to sergeant and then shipped to Iraq the day after his baby daughter Rachel was born. After "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq and major combat operations had ceased *snicker*, he came home after 4 months of hell in mesopotamia. He spent an extra two weeks in the Army due to stop loss but who cares. He moved to Florida with his new family where the marriage started going downhill FAST. John used the GI Bill to go to school at Manatee Community College and come home to take care of the baby. He found a new love for school and majored in Physics. Tiffany would run away to Outback steakhouse at night where she pretended not to be married. Tiffany was not mature enough to handle being faithful due to her sociopathic nature and alcholism, so John divorced her after three years of misery. Rachel continues to be an angel and John is the happiest he has been since living in Florida.