Talk:Joe Rice

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Good article Joe Rice has been listed as one of the Social sciences and society good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can delist it, or ask for a reassessment.
An entry from this article appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know? column on January 16, 2008.
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Biography. For more information, visit the project page.
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Good article GA This article has been rated as GA-Class on the project's quality scale. [FAQ]
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Contents

[edit] Good Article Review

GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): pass b (MoS): fail
Comment: Private life is scattered around various unrelated sections, ie we learn about his place of birth under Military career, and wife & family and education under private sector career. A "personal life" section or similar is justified.
Y Done -- Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
  1. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): pass b (citations to reliable sources): pass c (OR): pass
  2. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): fail b (focused): pass
Comment: We learn very little about Joe Rice the man. Many basic biographical details are absent, ie. parents names, occupations, schools, date of marriage, children's YOB, hobbies, interests, sports etc. These details may be difficult to come across, but at least some of them were in sources quoted. Maybe his campaign committee has a more detailed written biography. Also how did he become an army officer, I'm pretty sure he wasn't commissioned upon entering at the age of 17. Also I would like to know where he stands on some issues as a politician, his legislative record quoted is fairly bland and does not indicate if he is regarded as a progressive or conservative, for instance. One of the websites referenced had ratings from various interest groups, that sort of information would be useful. He is notable because he is a politician. I understand that some of this sort of information may be hard to come by, but I would like to see evidence that editors have "gone the extra yard" to find it.
Some of the information isn't really available. I've looked for, but have been unable to find: parents names, primary and secondary schools. Included in the article are his occupations, approximate date of marriage, approximate children's YOB, hobbies.
Some of Rice's political orientation is revealed from his legislative agenda (support of the death penalty, tax cuts, and transportation spending paints a picture of a moderate-to-conservative Democrat). However, I've added a section with some of the information you describe (impressions of his political orientation and the interest group ratings I can find; there aren't many), and have also referenced some of his campaign endorsements. -- Sethant (talk) 03:38, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
  1. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias: pass
  2. It is stable.
    No edit wars etc.: pass
  3. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): pass b (appropriate use with suitable captions): pass
  4. Overall:
    Pass/Fail: on hold

Sorry I've had to pull back from this process. Hope you find another reviewer, and my comments helpful. --Michael Johnson (talk) 04:18, 17 April 2008 (UTC)

[edit] My GA Review

[edit] Lead

"A business consultant, Rice is also a U.S. Army veteran and a lieutenant colonel in the Army Reserve who has served during peacekeeping operations in Bosnia."

Say "Rice is a business consultatnt, a US Army veteran" etc.

Y Done--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

"Rice was elected to the city council of Glendale, Colorado in 1994 and to the post of mayor in 1996 on a platform of developing a "resident-friendly" community in the Denver enclave."

Define "platform".

Y Done I've clarified "platform" with a wikilink.--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)


"Re-elected in 2000, Rice resigned from the post of mayor in 2003 when called up to serve the first of three tours on active duty in Iraq."

Try putting the subject first and then "re-elected in 2000".

Y Done--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Biography

[edit] Military Career

"...and his current tour, where from October 2007 to January 2008, where, as an operations analyst, he evaluated Iraqi military and police forces."

Double use of "where".

Y Done Fixed.--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

"Airborne and Ranger qualified, Rice has received the Combat Action Badge, the Expert Infantryman’s Badge, and the Bronze Star."

Again, put the subject first and then the phrase. And what does "Airborne and Ranger qualified" mea?n ("Airborne" leads to a disambig page that does not seem to have anything related to the military)

Y Done I've clarified Airborne and Ranger training both by rephrasing the sentence and by providing appropriate wikilinks.--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

"The partnership brought several delegations of Iraqis including business leaders, government officials, and scholars. "

Put a comma after "Iraqis".

Y Done--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Private sector career=

"Rice earned an associates degree from New Mexico Military Institute in 1987, a bachelor's degree in history from Metropolitan State College of Denver in 1989, while an active-duty officer."

Put a conjunction after "1987". And eliminate the comma after "1989".

Y Done--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

"Rice is married; he and his wife, Kendall, have three children — twins Harrison and Alexandria, and a younger son, Dalton."

Maybe eliminate the semicolon and put a conjunction instead, to improve the flow.

Y Done Rephrased.--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Mayor of Glendale

"Running for re-election, Rice faced opposition from Tea Party member Mike Dunafon in a race that saw uncharacteristically negative campaigning for Glendale, including accusations that Rice used racial slurs and denigrated African-American and Mexican citizens."

"Uncharacteristically negative" is POV.

Y Done Removed. -- Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Legislative career

[edit] 2006 election

"Republican Joe Stengel was term-limited in 2006 and could not stand for re-election; both Rice and Republican Matt Dunn sought the seat."

The seat of what?

Y Done Stengel's legislative seat. I've tried to clarify the language.-- Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

"Retiring Rep. Stengel resigned shortly before the end of his term because of newly enacted ethics laws; a Republican Party vacancy committee appointed Dunn, to the remaining month of Stengel's turn."

Is this part about Dunn really necessary?

Y Done Strictly speaking, no, although it does explain why Dunn precedes Joe Rice in the infobox instead of Stengel. Removed, though. -- Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

[edit] 2007 legislative session

I think you should convert the bullet list to just a paragraph.

Y Done--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

Also, the table really throws everything out of wack. You could maybe spin it off into a seperate article and then link to it from the main article.

Y Done--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

And take a look at the above comments. They are true as well.Maybe more to come, but this is all for now. Noble Story (talk) 11:53, 18 April 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Lead

"Rice is a business consultant and a U.S. Army Reservist who has served during peacekeeping operations in Bosnia."

Say "...Reservist, and he has served..." Or, try "...consultant, and he has served as a U.S. Army Reservist during..."

I've dropped the Bosnia reference; after a number of attempts at rephrasing, I just can't get it to parse well. It's also a minor bit in the article that doesn't have to go in the lead, and I'm fine with that. -- Sethant (talk) 04:01, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Biography

"Rice and his wife, Kendall, were married around 1990, and have three children — twins Harrison and Alexandria, born around 2001, and a younger son, Dalton, born in 2005."

Why "around 1990...around 2001"? Are you not sure?

Yes, I'm not sure. Perfect, precise information isn't always available. The references only indicate his children's ages and the length of his marriage, not the actual years of marriage and birth. -- Sethant (talk) 04:01, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

"Among his hobbies, Rice enjoys jogging."

A little trivial, maybe?

A previous reviewer requested information about his hobbies. There's very little information about that, and that's what I can find. -- Sethant (talk) 04:01, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

"Presently a lieutenant colonel in the United States Army Reserve..."

You just said that in the above paragraph. Redundant.

Redundancy eliminated. -- Sethant (talk) 04:01, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Legislative career

Something still needs to be done with the table. And, the "Political positions" could probably be expanded. Mention the views he took during his political terms (you mention some in the lead).

Political positions taken the 2007 and 2008 legislative sessions are expressed both in those section and in the table of sponsored legislation. To mention them again would be redundant, and I feel they give a good snapshot of of Rice's political priorities and positions (expanding the death penalty, transportation funding, business tax cuts) I agree, though, that the "political positions" section feels short. I could fairly easily merge it in with the other legislative sections, though.
I've gone ahead and merged the "political positions" section in with others. - Sethant (talk) 05:35, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
Also, can you be more specific about the table? "Something needs to be done" is not a very helpful critique, and doesn't give me any guidance to work with.-- Sethant (talk) 04:01, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
See my above comments: "Also, the table really throws everything out of wack. You could maybe spin it off into a separate article and then link to it from the main article."
I've shortened the table, moved it down, and lengthened the section beside it; I think it looks better now. There isn't enough independent information about all the legislation he worked on to justify an entire independent article. -- Sethant (talk) 05:32, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

Noble Story (talk) 03:34, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Final GA Review

Review of Joe Rice

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:
    B. MoS compliance:
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
    C. No original research:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:
    B. Focused:
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:

After going over it, I think this is now a satisfactory Good Article. Congratulations. Noble Story (talk) 06:15, 19 April 2008 (UTC)