Talk:Jessie Bond
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[edit] Comment
I didn't see much information on Bond's life after she left the stage. One article said that she was in Rose of Persia, but that's not right, is it? --Ssilvers 03:54, 16 June 2006 (UTC)
[edit] Dubious comment
The current edit says that Gilbert never spoke to Bond at rehearsals after her pay raise. This seems highly unlikely. The comment attributed to Gilbert is probably something he said once, not something he said at every single rehearsal.
- Then why not correct it to say that it is something Gilbert is supposed to have said "when she came onstage"? Ssilvers 13:50, 19 June 2006 (UTC)
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- Well, I've rewritten it to something that I think is supportable. Marc Shepherd 14:31, 19 June 2006 (UTC)
- Looks good, but if we are not sure whether he said it once or more than once, you could delete the word "a" so that it is less certain and says that he said it "at rehearsal" instead of "at a rehearsal"? Ssilvers 19:53, 19 June 2006 (UTC)
- Well, I've rewritten it to something that I think is supportable. Marc Shepherd 14:31, 19 June 2006 (UTC)
[edit] Cut, not just altered
Also, Hebe's dialogue was not just "altered"--her dialogue a substantial scene was CUT. I think it is misleading as written. Would you please put back in that dialogue was cut to accomodate her? Ssilvers 13:49, 19 June 2006 (UTC)
- Done. Marc Shepherd 14:31, 19 June 2006 (UTC)
[edit] GA review and pass
This is obviously a very good article, just like the other two, and it fulfills the GA criteria. Yay! Some nitpicky comments, as always:
- Is there a reason why the image in the lead does not have a caption?
- I think the MOS says that if the LEAD illustration is just a photo of the subject, then you don't need a caption. Should I just caption it "Jessie Bond"? No one knows the date of the photo - it is often used on websites about her without any information about the photo itself. I suspect it is from the 1990s, but I can't be sure.
- 1890s? :) If the date and circumstances are not known, then I wouldn't worry about it. I was mostly curious.
- Oops! I'm afraid I often make that century typo. :p
- 1890s? :) If the date and circumstances are not known, then I wouldn't worry about it. I was mostly curious.
- I think the MOS says that if the LEAD illustration is just a photo of the subject, then you don't need a caption. Should I just caption it "Jessie Bond"? No one knows the date of the photo - it is often used on websites about her without any information about the photo itself. I suspect it is from the 1990s, but I can't be sure.
- The lead is a little incomplete; it says nothing of her early life, her first husband, or later life outside of getting married and leaving the stage. The lead could be padded a bit more, I feel.
- Done.
- I assumed that "Jessie" was short for something -- was that her given name?
- Yes, that's what the census records show.
- Bond was born in Camden Town, London, the third child (and eldest daughter) of five of John Bond, a pianomaker, who gave his children a musical education: very confusing. "of five of John Bond" is awkward and the end seems rushed. Perhaps split into two separate sentences; the third of five children (and eldest daughter) born to John Bond. Bond was a pianomaker who gave his children a musical education...?
- Good idea! Done.
- Bond's mother took her to see F. A. Schotlaender, the director of a choral society in Liverpool, who might be able to help Bond's singing career. "Might" doesn't exactly work here, tense wise; "who she believed would help Bond's singing career"?
- Done.
- The marriage was abusive, Bond became pregnant and ill: semi-colon here instead of comma. Is it known how he was abusive?
- She wrote in her memoir: "He ill-treated both my mind and my body, he denied me every comfort, often I had not even enough to eat.... He had been violently ill-treating me, I was a broken, pitiful creature."
- Yikes. If that (or a paragraphed version of it) can be worked into the prose, that would be a great addition.
- Done!
- Yikes. If that (or a paragraphed version of it) can be worked into the prose, that would be a great addition.
- She wrote in her memoir: "He ill-treated both my mind and my body, he denied me every comfort, often I had not even enough to eat.... He had been violently ill-treating me, I was a broken, pitiful creature."
- Is the admirer's poem truly noteworthy? It could perhaps be culled somewhat, or cut completely, despite the fact that it's very cute.
- I cut it down a little, but it is full of G&S jokes as well as very Gilbertian internal rhymes, and anyone familiar with G&S will, I think, find it very funny.
- It's extremely funny, even to those of us who know close to nothing about G&S! I approve of the shorter version.
- I cut it down a little, but it is full of G&S jokes as well as very Gilbertian internal rhymes, and anyone familiar with G&S will, I think, find it very funny.
- Barrington is linked to three times in the prose; is he your favorite? :)
- LOL! Not sure. But he was certainly her favorite. I removed one of the links.
- After he had first seen her perform in The Mikado in 1885, Lewis Ransome and Bond formed a long friendship. Information about his Quaker and wealthy upbringing and vocation of civil engineer, as well as his age in relation to Bond, should be mentioned earlier on. and This has already been stated in a previous section. Perhaps, "twelve [or however many] years after they began their friendship, Ransome proposed marriage"?
- Done. He proposed marriage much sooner, but she did not accept until 12 years after they met [corrected!].
- Ransome proposed marriage, but Bond told him that she would not marry while she continued on the stage. At the end of the previous paragraph, it states that Bond had left the stage. Did this interchange with Ransome happen before her leaving? It would be less confusing if it were chronological.
- It happened before her leaving. I've moved the information around so that it should be clearer now. Looks OK?
- Definitely, it makes so much more sense now.
- It happened before her leaving. I've moved the information around so that it should be clearer now. Looks OK?
This is probably my favorite of the thee G&S actor bios I've reviewed; I admire Bond's sassy determination. Great job bringing her to life! As always, questions and comments and gripes about the review welcome. I'll add this article to the GA list immediately. María (habla conmigo) 14:13, 17 March 2008 (UTC)
I'm glad you enjoyed the article. Let me know if you have any further comments. Great job on Bob, by the way. Best regards, -- Ssilvers (talk) 18:48, 17 March 2008 (UTC)