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The following comments have been left for this page:
This is a very informative article I have enjoyed reading about the history of the Beer industry and also this earliest Pioneer . (edit) |
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[edit] Expansion
Great work in improving this article. I can't comment much on the article's comprehensiveness, so the only suggestions I have relate to structure. There are probably too many headings for the size of the article; you might like to work on rationalising those, or re-sectioning the prose. Also, in a few places there very short paragraphs; you could try amalgamating or bulking these up – though not at the expense of accuracy, of course. The lead could probably also be added to. Finally, it's best to avoid external links in the prose.--cj | talk 01:51, 21 July 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Nice article
It's good to come upon such a well sourced and well written article - and amazing to see it has been done by one person. There are a number of areas that need tidying up. The tone is rather informal for an encyclopedia. I faced this problem myself last year when uploading articles I had written elsewhere onto Wiki - [[Cask ale] is one that springs to mind. I started to tidy it, but it's a big job and entails going through the whole article line by line. I'll put up a formal tone tag and see if that will drag in some copyeditors to help. SilkTork 12:01, 8 August 2007 (UTC)
