User:Jacobking
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Contents |
[edit] Personal
I am a college student, which means I know lots of things. I am studying Telecommunications and Japanese. I'm also the sexiest man in the world. For verification, ask my girlfriend, who is an expert in the subject. I am incredibly well-endowed and have a ginormous nose, thick eyebrows, and deep brown eyes. I can put a smile on anyone's face at any time under any circumstances. Why? Because I'm that special. Women beg me to date them, beg me for sex, but I love one girl and one girl only--Minnie Mouse.
Butt2Face - The website that I run
[edit] Favorite Articles
Kyōiku kanji -- If you want to be fluent in Japanese, you need to know every single one of these.
Metroid -- My favorite video game series.
Nintendo -- My best friend forever. JAJAJAJA
Hyperinflation -- I think the idea of everyone having money with a "1,000,000" unit value is AWESOME.
Pyramid Head -- The most disturbing character in any video game I've ever played.
Examination of Holocaust denial -- I never understood why people did this.
Down-low -- My brother-in-law said he heard about this on "Law and Order: SVU." I didn't think it was real!
[edit] My Dream Article
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[edit] My Face Hurts
It really, really hurts. Christ.
[edit] People I wish I knew
Time | Contribution | |
---|---|---|
Jeff | Middle Ages | Lacked a bozack |
Sally | Modern Era | Is fat |
Chett | The Future | Plays a crab in a Cirque du Soleil show |
Phil | Ancient Egypt | Dropped a deuce through a warp hole; landed on my house |
Carlo | Las Vegas | Won't stop handing out whore trading cards |
Lew | Maoist China | First man ever |
Angela | French Revolution | worst name ever |
Fred | Biblical era | first white person who gave a shit |
Sledge | Ancient Egypt | invented the ham sandwich |
Christie | Post-depression era | she-devil |
Edgar | Present day | turns neck 180 degrees |
[edit] Famous People Named 'Jackson'
Profession | Significance | |
---|---|---|
Michael | Pederast | Voluntarily changes skin color |
Jesse | Reverend | has love child; failed to be president |
Janet | Performing Artist | First and last person ever to have "wardrobe malfunction" |
Andrew | President | Told the Indians where they could stick their peace offering |
Bo | Athlete | Overworked himself by playing two sports |
Phil | NBA Coach | Exiled from Chicago; took entire roster with him |
Stonewall | War criminal | Shot United States soldiers |
Reggie | Athlete | famous enough for me to remember his name |
Latoya | Old news | was on reality show for four episodes |
Samuel L. | Motherfucker | Notorious hardass voice |
Peter | Hairy idiot | Makes movies that never end |