User:Jacobking

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Contents

[edit] Personal

I am a college student, which means I know lots of things. I am studying Telecommunications and Japanese. I'm also the sexiest man in the world. For verification, ask my girlfriend, who is an expert in the subject. I am incredibly well-endowed and have a ginormous nose, thick eyebrows, and deep brown eyes. I can put a smile on anyone's face at any time under any circumstances. Why? Because I'm that special. Women beg me to date them, beg me for sex, but I love one girl and one girl only--Minnie Mouse.

Butt2Face - The website that I run

[edit] Favorite Articles

Kyōiku kanji -- If you want to be fluent in Japanese, you need to know every single one of these.
Metroid -- My favorite video game series.
Nintendo -- My best friend forever. JAJAJAJA
Hyperinflation -- I think the idea of everyone having money with a "1,000,000" unit value is AWESOME.
Pyramid Head -- The most disturbing character in any video game I've ever played.
Examination of Holocaust denial -- I never understood why people did this.
Down-low -- My brother-in-law said he heard about this on "Law and Order: SVU." I didn't think it was real!


[edit] My Dream Article

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[edit] My Face Hurts

It really, really hurts. Christ.


[edit] People I wish I knew

Time Contribution
Jeff Middle Ages Lacked a bozack
Sally Modern Era Is fat
Chett The Future Plays a crab in a Cirque du Soleil show
Phil Ancient Egypt Dropped a deuce through a warp hole; landed on my house
Carlo Las Vegas Won't stop handing out whore trading cards
Lew Maoist China First man ever
Angela French Revolution worst name ever
Fred Biblical era first white person who gave a shit
Sledge Ancient Egypt invented the ham sandwich
Christie Post-depression era she-devil
Edgar Present day turns neck 180 degrees

[edit] Famous People Named 'Jackson'

Profession Significance
Michael Pederast Voluntarily changes skin color
Jesse Reverend has love child; failed to be president
Janet Performing Artist First and last person ever to have "wardrobe malfunction"
Andrew President Told the Indians where they could stick their peace offering
Bo Athlete Overworked himself by playing two sports
Phil NBA Coach Exiled from Chicago; took entire roster with him
Stonewall War criminal Shot United States soldiers
Reggie Athlete famous enough for me to remember his name
Latoya Old news was on reality show for four episodes
Samuel L. Motherfucker Notorious hardass voice
Peter Hairy idiot Makes movies that never end