J-Men Forever

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J-Men Forever is a 1979 film by Philip Proctor and Peter Bergman of the Firesign Theatre.

[edit] Synopsis

Using film clips from Republic serials, re-dubbed with comic dialog, it tells the story of the Lightning Bug (played by various villains from the various serials; his changing appearance is explained as rapid costume changes) and his attempt to take over the world, using sex, drugs and rock and roll. His first victims are 'square' record moguls Lawrence Milk, Jive Davis, and 'Scream' Dorsey, who are either hypnotized or otherwise prodded into killing themselves (except for Dorsey, whose car is simply taken over then run off a cliff). The Bug, his henchmen and henchwomen (including the villainess Sombra) are opposed by the J-Men, a group of government agents hired by the legendary J. Eager Believer. Besides the Chief and his bumbling sidekick, Agent Barton, the J-Men include Agents Spike, Claire and Lance, Buzz Cufflink, James Armhole, Rocket Jock, the Lone Star, the Caped Madman, Spy Swatter, Sleeve Coat, Juicy Withers, and Admiral Balzy. The J-Men work in cooperation with the F.C.C. (Federal Culture Control), opposing the Lightning Bug with Muzac (created by M.U.S.A.C., the Military Underground Sugared Airwaves Command), then with a bomb to blow up the Lightning Bug's base on the Moon. However, the Lightning Bug beats them to it by turning up his stereo too loud and blowing up the Moon himself. At the end of the film, Agent Barton mournfully recites the list of J-Men who supposedly gave their lives in the epic struggle against the Bug. The Chief laughs, then starts choking on a cigar he is smoking. After he stops choking, The Chief points out that J-Men are flexible enough to survive any life-threatening situation, and the final clips show exactly how each J-Man escaped their particular peril.

[edit] Trivia

Philip Proctor plays "The Chief" and Peter Bergman plays "Agent Barton". They appear in sequences that are used to frame the re-dubbed clips. The Lightning Bug is voiced by legendary radio DJ M.G. Kelly (aka "Machine Gun" Kelly).

The movie soundtrack features music from Budgie, The Tubes and Head East.