Talk:Istanbul Agop Cymbals
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I have been trying to accompolish this article by re-considering the sources like brochures and stuff..It'd be great if any one warns me about which parts of the article looks like an advertisement M. Umut Ermec 11:15, 3 April 2007 (UTC)
- Well, sentences like "In the following years, the name of the brand; Istanbul Cymbals became glorious for creating those unique and classic sounds" go beyond most adverts. Also, the long lists (of people using the cymbals, and of products in their range) aren't suitable for an encyclopædia article. --Mel Etitis (Talk) 11:19, 3 April 2007 (UTC)
Ok I see, I am now trying to fix things up now. This is my first article, it looked so easy at the beginning but it is not as far as i can see.M. Umut Ermec 12:25, 3 April 2007 (UTC)
i made several corrections and removals from the advertising parts in the article; i double-checked it with related topics such as zildjian and sabian and i believe i formed this article in the same way with the others now.M. Umut Ermec 12:37, 3 April 2007 (UTC)
- I've started copy-editing, and I've removed the long and unencyclopædic lists (do the other articles have them? If so, they should be removed). The main text still included some advertising-style language, though.
- You're right — writing an article isn't as easy as it looks. You're doing well for a first attempt, though — don't be disheartened. --Mel Etitis (Talk) 13:46, 3 April 2007 (UTC)
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- I checked the articles on the other cymbal-manufacturers, and you're right, they were both full of advertising material. I've tidied them in line with this one. --Mel Etitis (Talk) 15:15, 3 April 2007 (UTC)
Thanks for your help and interest. I will tidy this article up in forthcoming days.M. Umut Ermec 15:38, 3 April 2007 (UTC)
- I believe this article no longer has advertisement material, I've cleaned them up and added citations.M. Umut Ermec 14:44, 4 April 2007 (UTC)
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- It's certainly much better. I've commented out a sentence in the lead, which is rather adverty, and which isn't backed up by the reference given (which is to a review of one their ranges of cymbals — a review that's generally positive, but doesn't mention uniqueness of sound, etc.). I'm also worried by "who had been developing his skills since the age of nine"; it's unsourced, and again has the feel of an advertising brochure. Otherwise it's fine. --Mel Etitis (Talk) 15:32, 4 April 2007 (UTC)
- ok, im gonna try to find more sources and finalise this. by the way, sometimes, the very first version of this article is viewed, dunno why.is it kindo server update problem? M. Umut Ermec 05:42, 5 April 2007 (UTC)
- It's certainly much better. I've commented out a sentence in the lead, which is rather adverty, and which isn't backed up by the reference given (which is to a review of one their ranges of cymbals — a review that's generally positive, but doesn't mention uniqueness of sound, etc.). I'm also worried by "who had been developing his skills since the age of nine"; it's unsourced, and again has the feel of an advertising brochure. Otherwise it's fine. --Mel Etitis (Talk) 15:32, 4 April 2007 (UTC)
I've changed "who had been developing his skills since the age of nine" part like; "Agop Tomurcuk, who had been working in the business of hand-made cymbal manufacture since the age of nine and had worked at the original K factory in Istanbul as the foreman until the factory's closure in 1978".88.235.11.159 07:37, 5 April 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Fair use rationale for Image:Istanbulagoplogo.jpg
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BetacommandBot 11:18, 7 November 2007 (UTC)