Interfaith marriage in Judaism
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Interfaith marriage in Judaism remains a controversial issue. Before the Jewish Enlightenment and emancipation, which swept through communities in the diaspora in the 19th and 20th centuries, marriages between Jews and non-Jews were extremely uncommon. As Jews began to mix more into the society, intermarriage became common.
According to the National Jewish Population Survey, only 17 percent of marriages involving Jews in the United States prior to 1970 were intermarriages. From 1996-2001, 47 percent of marriages involving Jews in the United States were intermarriages. Overall, the U.S. rate of intermarriage for all married Jewish couples is 31 percent.
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[edit] Civil versus religious marriages, and inter-faith marriages
There is an ongoing debate about inter-faith marriage in the Jewish community. Orthodox Judaism argues from the biblical prohibition on the ancient Israelites against permitting their children to marry the children of gentiles (Deuteronomy 7:3); Moses warns that on transgression, their children will follow other gods, and they themselves will consequently be destroyed. Some traditionalists speak metaphorically of intermarriage in the modern era as a "Silent Holocaust." Some modernists see inter-faith marriages as a contribution to a multicultural society that enriches lives. Children from intermarriages identify as Jewish significantly less frequently than children of marriages with two Jewish partners.[citation needed]
The traditional Jewish concept of marriage is based on kiddushin (lit. "sanctification"). The wife is publicly sanctified to the husband in an exclusive relationship, forbidding her to all other men. The traditional rules regarding such sanctification are, by definition, for a relationship between Jews. The Jewish declaration of marriage includes the phrase that the marriage is being carried out by the laws of Moses and Israel; such a declaration has no meaning for a marriage ceremony between a Jew and a Gentile. It is partly on this basis that most rabbis refuse to conduct interfaith weddings. Although intermarriage is becoming more common place thus making children born from interfaith families very acclimated to both Jewish and Christian traditions having a parent from one or the other side.
All major branches of Judaism are opposed to intermarriage. Orthodox Judaism maintains a complete ban on the practice. However, the Leadership Council of Conservative Judaism has a more nuanced understanding of this issue than Orthodoxy. In a press release it has stated that:
- "In the past, intermarriage...was viewed as an act of rebellion, a rejection of Judaism. Jews who intermarried were essentially excommunicated. But now, intermarriage is often the result of living in an open society....If our children end up marrying non-Jews, we should not reject them. We should continue to give our love and by that retain a measure of influence in their lives, Jewishly and otherwise. Life consists of constant growth and our adult children may yet reach a stage when Judaism has new meaning for them. However, the marriage between a Jew and non-Jew is not a celebration for the Jewish community. We therefore reach out to the couple with the hope that the non-Jewish partner will move closer to Judaism and ultimately choose to convert. Since we know that over 70 percent of children of intermarried couples are not being raised as Jews...we want to encourage the Jewish partner to maintain his/her Jewish identity, and raise their children as Jews."
Reform and Reconstructionist Judaism do not accept the Halakha (Rabbinical Jewish law) as normative, so the halachic prohibition against it is not per se controlling. Still, the great majority of Reform and Reconstructionist rabbis will not officiate at a marriage between a Jew and a Gentile, no matter the circumstance.[citation needed] However, it is by no means clear that the average American Jew shares this belief.
There is a difference between a religious Jewish marriage and the secular marriage. In the United States (and many other countries), when a rabbi officiates at a wedding, it is de facto a legal wedding by the law of the United States, as well; therefore, a rabbi cannot officiate for you without a civil license. This is the secular (civil) marriage. However, Kiddushin is a ceremony that can only take place between two Jews. Many rabbis will not officiate at a wedding between a Jew and a Gentile because it is outside the realm of traditional Jewish law and custom. A number of independent, interfaith officiants groups have surfaced which routinely perform Jewish/nonJewish interfaith marriages.
Occasionally, a Jew marries a non-Jew who is an ethical monotheist; one who believes in God as understood by Judaism, and rejects non-Jewish theologies. Rabbi Steven Greenberg has made the controversial proposal that in these cases the non-Jewish partner be considered a Ger Toshav, a biblical term for resident alien, denoting someone who is not Jewish, but who lives within the Jewish community and shares many of the accompanying responsibilities and privileges.
A number of interfaith Jewish/non-Jewish couples and families who wish to maintain their separate faith affiliations and identities have found a tolerant home within Unitarian Universalism, which claims a relatively high number of Jewish interfaith families in its membership rolls. Although the UU faith was rooted in liberal Christianity, it evolved to become an inter-spiritual, interfaith denomination. Several Jewish organizations exist within the UUA community, such as Unitarian Universalists for Jewish Awareness and Jewish Voices in Unitarian Universalism, which seek to maintain and nurture a strong Jewish presence within the Association. Despite the existence of these organizations and sub-groups, the normative Jewish outlook on this phenomenon would be that the formerly Jewish individuals who affiliate with Unitarian Universalism are apostates to another faith.
[edit] See also
- Jewish views of marriage
- My Yiddish Momme McCoy- a documentary about one woman's experience