User:Imsuchadork

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The Randomness That Comes Out When One Is Slap Happy, Nappy, Pappy!

There was once this little child who decided that dancing with a very disgruntled little midget of a man was a very productive way to pass the time. And her name was Shari. She, however, preferred to be called Carl, as she was more apt to male tendencies. The word tendencies is fun to say. Let us take a moment to honor this fun loving word...

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH! TENDENCIEEEESSS!"

Okay, now that the worshipping is through, back to the story. So, Shari, also known as Carl, went on a quest. You see, she very often went on quests because she was convinced that one day she would become a knight with a magic bunny and they would frolick wonderfully through the meadows of hope and wonder together for all eternity. She would name her companion bunny Gilgamesh, in honor of the late prince of Mousaka. He was very close with "Carl," and they would very often go on quests together. These quests were very dangerous and always required penguins, in which the prince had plenty. They would hike through the woods (with penguins), hoping to catch a glimpse of the mighty Harry Potter, who has been known to run around butt naked in the middle of the woods of Charlie. Charlie, you see, was once a very noble and respected unicorn, until his kidney was stolen within the walls of the Candy Mountain Candy Cave, but that's another story. Anyway, so you see, the prince and the Carl would take these quests very often and would eventually become the best of friends. They also learned how to fly. And they would fly and fly and fly until they could fly no more. So, then they walked. With their penguins. Their MIGHTY PENGUINS OF GOD. And they worshipped these penguins as such. The birds sang and the grass hummed and all was happy and wonderful in the land of Hopscotchbutternesslove. But then, the little child named Shari, but kindly referred to Carl, went into the woods of Charlie one fine summer day without her penguin protection and prince companionship for no apparent reason at all. For hours, she hiked through the thick woods of Charlie looking for the nude Harry Potter, but had no luck. So she went home to find her dear friend the prince (who seems to have no name, but is somehow connected to word Gilgamesh) shot dead by one of the mighty penguins. This mighty penguin had deep rooted hatred aimed towards the prince for some time now. It all started with a stick covered in marshmallow. But it is a very long story and I shall never finish if I decide to tell it. Anyway, so the prince is shot dead by the mighty penguin leaving Carl to fend the woods of Charlie forever by herself. She cried for all of two seconds before considering it more fitting to dance. Dancing is how all people of the land of Hopscotchbutternesslove deal with loss and tragedy. Carl is no exception. So all of you who think it funny that someone dances in the presence of a murder, be SHAMED FOR ALL ETERNITY. Oh, and if you continue to laugh, you will be shot dead by a penguin. GOODNIGHT! And beware of the all mighty penguins!

(I hope you learned a valuable lesson from this story. If you have, please begin to practice such behavior towards your fellow man with love. And dignity. Forever on...)