Igor Straminsky

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M*A*S*H character
Igor Straminsky
Rank Private
Corporal
Gender Male
Hair color Brown
Eye color Unknown
Home city Unknown
Film portrayer None
Television portrayer Jeff Maxwell
Peter Riegert
First appearance "Crisis"
Last appearance "Goodbye, Farewell and Amen"

Private Igor Straminsky was a not-too-bright mess tent assistant and the officers' club bartender in the television series M*A*S*H. He was generally portrayed by actor Jeff Maxwell, although Peter Riegert played him in two sixth season episodes.

Igor is also a corpsman, and assists on latrine-building detail. The conflict between his mess duties and his latrine duties is noted by Major Winchester, asking in disbelief, "You handle our food AND dig latrines?" Igor then tried to put his fears to rest, saying, "I always wash my hands before I dig the latrines."

In "Promotion Commotion", Igor relentlessly tries to impress Hawkeye and B.J., so he can be promoted to Corporal.

In "The Price of Tomato Juice," Igor identifies himself as "Maxwell" (a goof on the part of actor Jeff Maxwell.)

[edit] Mess Tent

Throughout the series people complain about the food to him. Noted examples are:

  • In "Adam's Ribs", Hawkeye Pierce goes into a thunderous rant because there have been only two choices for entree for the last ten days; liver or fish. Igor is spellbound by Hawkeye's speech, and at last begins banging his pot lids to the general chant of "We want something else!".
  • In "Morale Victory", Igor points out that everyone complains about the food to him, but he doesn't actually cook it -- when asked where the cook is, he shouts "Eating at Rosie's!" and storms out. Everyone immediately begins chanting "Kill the cook! Kill the cook!"
  • When he spills some apple sauce, Major Burns tells him that apples don't grow on trees.
  • In the episode "A War for All Seasons", he tried to be helpful by creaming the corn when the camp wanted corn-on-the-cob.
  • In the episode Are You Now, Margaret?, Margret threw mashed potatoes at Klinger's camera. Igor asked Klinger if he wanted gravy with the potatoes.
  • In one episode, Winchester is quoted by saying "Private, you have ruined my appetite, and I am grateful!"

In the series finale, Igor said that he was going home to be a pig farmer ("I'm gonna do something where people don't yell at me when I put the food down in front of 'em. I'm gonna be a pig farmer."), to which Sergeant Rizzo replies "What do you mean "gonna be"?"