User:IANPMC

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IANPMC is very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very silly.

Not actually Ian, but funny.


Contents

[edit] Ian Parker McMillan

Ian Parker McMillan (Commonly called "The Big Cheese" and "Caesar" and in some dialects "The Big Caesar Cheese Bucket"[1]) Was born somewhere in Alameda County California, on May 20th, 1992 BC. He rose to power early in the crusades, using his influence as a magic jewish carpenter to have his enemy killed and their heads sodomized. In his sophmore year at George Stevens Academy, he met two women who would change his life forever; Vita Rose Poole And Lily McFarland. Historians have speculated that it is unlikely that they had accomplished so much after just meeting, and that they have probably been aqainted earlier then that; Sed historians were stabbed with Doris[2]. Ian was a powerful communist leader, and gave speeches daily to his subjects; an example of one of his speeches;

"I was in that car. I was in that car. I was in that car. I was in that car. I was in that car. I was IN that car. "

Ian Parker McMillan died 14 years ago after his mother choked him with a banana. He left behind seven children, all of them half-ferret[3]. Ian also had a friend, who may still be alive, named henry. Not much has been heard from him, since he has gon into hiding at a gay boarding school. But someday, they will rock again.

Ian + Hotchicks = FerretBabies

[edit] Affair with Henry Sullivan

When Ian was stolen by pirates from the planet Omicron Persei 8, he single-handedly fought them all and captured the ship. However, the ship was cursed by an ancient ninja pirate zombie robot, who used the robot army to recapture the ship from Ian. But then all the NPZR's got drunk and crashed it into Maine. Thats where Ian met Henry Sullivan, son of infamous musician, full blooded irishman, and slamming hottie, Elton John.

Ian and Henry quickly became lovers, with photos surfacing on the tabloids of them bathing together and playing dress up. Ian felt this might hurt his political career as dictator for the universe, so he ordered Henry be taken to a gay boarding school and placed into hiding. Henry has not been heard from since. However, in the Milton Academy area, several instances of graffiti depicting the term "three-mile gang" have appeared. It is believed that "three-mile gang" was Ian's pet name for Henry.

[edit] Beastiality Affair with Ollie

Nuff said.

[edit] Affair with Affairs

See beastiality section.

[edit] George Stevens Academy

Ian had a difficult high school life. Even though he was about 4000 years old and had a very succesful and prosperous life, he hadn't attended high school until 2006. He was very tall and handsome; and he had an extremely large penis. It had a habit of poking out of his pants when he was walking down the hallway at lunchtime and poking People in the shoulder. Sometimes, they would find this offensive or disgusting and vomit on his penis. Thus, he had a very hard time seducing women because his penis smelled like vomit. If they rejected him in a manner that displeased Ian, he would cast his level seven cone of magma on them.

[edit] Quirks

Ian was very quirky and odd; some of his more famous quirks were

  • Constantly reciting inside jokes to the wrong friends
  • Trying to make inside jokes with strangers or adults
  • Constantly hitting on women in a very silly way that was in no way sexy and really just kind of cute/pathetic
  • Trying to make Vita Rose Poole embarress herself (he succeded often)
  • Constantly making out with Lily McFarland even though he was really gay for Martin Conte
  • Ian was quoted, several times, saying this exact phrase- "Glurburbblurgurlurburgrblurb!"
  • Ian vandalized the wiki page "California State Route 88", putting "Aaron McMillan urinating near postmile 2.6" in the "Points of Intrest" section. It has since been reverted, although one could argue all of the other points of intrest were very silly and useless.


[edit] Recent News

Some criticism has arrived as to the adulterous and scandelous relationship with Lily McFarland. However, it appears that Ian and Lily are having a good time. No news as to whether either one of them is a vampire from the planet unicorn.