User talk:I Hate My Ex!

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Why do I hate my ex? Because a 20 year marriage down the drain is a waste. I remember in my 20's saying if you are going to leave me, leave me when I'm young and I have a better chance at a life. Instead, I get the 20 year marriage and a divorce at 40, because he's decided to get rid of me in the worst way. He couldn't just leave, he couldn't just find a girlfriend and dump me. Instead, he wanted me to stay and keep his home life normal while he was out sleeping with everything that was willing. He wanted to spend OUR hard earned money on call girls, escort services, and girls at the local mall. I found clothing in my bed left behind from someone else. Then reality became a train crash when I found him with someone else in my bed. After that I wasted time chasing him around the city to hotels, intercepting phone calls, and being told that I could easily be extinguised if I got in the way. I begged him to stop hurting me like this and he said I was crazy and imagining it all. I wanted to believe my life wasn't over, so I decided to believe him. I must have imagined it. Why would someone who promised to love me forever hurt me like this? It must be my imagination. Shortly after that I had a breakdown and several failed suicide attempts.

Finally, friends and family convinced me that I wasn't imagining things and that I couldn't carry on this way. I found a small amount of strength and realized they were right. With the support of many I left. I've been alone for 6 years now and have actually found peace. I don't replay the image of him with someone else in my bed on a daily basis, but I do feel an endless hatred for him. Mostly due to his cowardness in not taking the necessary steps to leave me instead of trying to destroy my sanity. I hate him for not having the courage to divorce me and after 3 years leaving it up to me to take on that burden as well. Is that good or bad? I don't know, I don't care. All I know for sure is that I do hate him, but that hasn't kept me from living. I'm back in school, I'm building a new home, I have great friends, I love my life. I've had two marriage proposals, but can't imagine returning to a life of promises that might ultimately end up in lies. That's probably the saddest part of this story....I've hurt others, because I no longer believe.

So, about hating my ex? He recently had a heart attack and I felt a strange sense of happiness. He's 50 now and if you look at his family tree, they all die in their mid-50's of heart problems. So, should I care about someone dying that I spent 20 years with? Probably. Do I? Not in the least. If the man stops breathing tomorrow, I'll feel like he got what he deserves. He has wanted me dead since I left, because he has to pay me a paltry amount of money until he dies. For him, it's about money, not the pain he caused me. Not the life he cheated me out of.

I don't believe that forgiveness is the key to happiness. Some sins don't deserve forgiveness. Sins like STDs, prostitutes, endless lies, and mental cruelty definitely fall into that category. I will hate the man until the day either one of us dies. I can live with that.....I hope he can't.

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Good! Get it out! Forgiveness on some levels is good- but no one should be used as a punching bag. I can just envision your husband's selfishness. I lost my ex to drugs and unprotected sex. To Hell with him, in this life and the next. Maybe he and your husband can suffer there together.

Stay strong, bold and resolute. xox —Preceding unsigned comment added by 123.200.198.152 (talk) 09:54, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

My God how I am reading my life in yours, I met mine when I was 19. He up and left 20 years later. I was blind and stupid and didn't see it coming. I wish the same thing for my ex not another minute of happines for him. At least you get a bit of money out of him (which I am sure pisses him off, I got nothing as we weren't married) So here I sit with the same thing you are going through, a hardened heart that no one will ever get near again. No I am not cheating myself, just trying to find the happiness I lost in myself. BEST OF LUCK TO YOU —Preceding unsigned comment added by 209.244.188.135 (talk) 02:45, 2 April 2008 (UTC)