I Can Do Without You

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A song performed by Doris Day and Howard Keel in the 1953 movie Calamity Jane.

Doris Day played the lead in the movie as Calamity, while Howard Keel played her nemesis and eventual love interest Bill Hickok.

The song proceed from a scene where Calamity was thrown off course by an apparent praise from Hickok after she had promised to bring the actress Adelaide Adams from Chicago to Deadwood City. It turned out that Hickok was being sarcastic and he trusted her "about as much as I do a blind rattle snake with a new button on its tail.

The Lyrics


Calamity:

In the summer you're the winter

In the finger, you're the splinter

In the banquette, you're the stew, say

I can do without you

[Hickok grabbed her around]

Hickok:

In the Garden, you're the golfer

In the Levi, you're the loafer

Like an overturned canoe, well

I can do without you

Calamity:

You can go to...Philadelphia

Take a hack to Hackensack, hey

I'll never ring a bell for ya

Or yell for ya to come back

Hickok:

In the question, you're the why

In the oilment, you're the fly

[Calamity grabbed Hickok's arm]

Calamity:

Though I know something are indispensable

Like a buck or two

If there's one thing I can do without

I can do without you

Hickok:

In a barrel, you're a pickle

In a gold mine, you're a nickel

You're the tack inside my shoe, yeah

I can do without you

Calamity:

In my bosom you're a dagger

You're a maggee carpet bagger

In the theatre, you're the boo

I can do without you

Hickok:

You've got charm that aint that aint be what you need

You have a face that no one would paint

Calamity:

I've got the thirty-six (?) to me, to be wherever you aint

Hickok:

In a bullfrog you're the croak

Calamity:

In the forest poison oak

Hickok:

Though I know something are necessary, my hat, my buckleroo

If there's one thing I can without, I can do without you

Calamity:

You're a knothead

Hickok:

You're a fake

Calamity:

You're a bonehead

Hickok:

Trouble-maker

[Both take their guns out and glare at each other]

Calamity + Hickok:

I can without you

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