User:HouseOfScandal/Seria Ludo
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[edit] Warning
WARNING: While it may not be funny, the material herein is intended as humor (that's like humour with a "u" but neither as sophisticated nor as clever).
It is a continuation of discussion begun 23 January 2007 at Wikipedia talk:Did you know. You can leave notes at the bottom of this text as if this is a discussion page. If there's anything you want removed, tell me, especially if it concerns you directly. You can even edit something out if you are really horrified and either can't take a joke or are just having a cranky day. I am trying not to give a fuck (in a good way) and am defiantly trying not to be a dick. Pardon my French, s'il vous plait.
There's some serious stuff, all of it kind, at the very end of the article. House of Scandal 02:55, 24 January 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Ominous praefatio
Here is the hook at the top of the DYK section of today's main page:
...that the Fauna of Scotland includes almost half of the EU’s breeding seabirds, but only one endemic vertebrate species, and that although a population of Wild Cats (pictured) remains many of the larger mammals were hunted to extinction in historic times?
Who can read my mind? House of Scandal 18:15, 23 January 2007 (UTC)
- There's a comma missing between remains and many??? :) What do I win? ++Lar: t/c 19:31, 23 January 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Seria Ludo
Ahem...
[edit] Phasmatis Ceasarii
No Lar, your guess is wrong, wrong, wrong. What I was thinking was "Great Caesar's ghost, excluding the word pictured, this "hook" is forty words long!" When I saw it I had to look at my calendar to make sure it wasn't April 1st already.
[edit] Dragging the bible into it
Yes, forty words long. Like the number of days and nights of rain on Noah's Ark or the number of lashes under the whip of Pontius Pilot's soldiers, this "hook" is biblical in its lack of brevity. Wait, if I remember JCSS correctly, there were only 39 lashes. This crappy-ass source says that it was 39 lashes because 40 was a death sentence. Understandable, as I almost died when I read this "hook" on the main page. That is an exaggeration, but I did cough up blood as I crossed the unexpected midpoint hurdle ("and that although") just where I though this "hook" would, for sure, end. Notice that I can't even refer to this "hook" without quotation marks.
[edit] Editorii incognetum
Our dear fellow editor (you know who you are, sir! Your user name starts with Y and rhymes with Shlomangani) slapped this on the main page lickety-split during our above conversation of brevity in relation to the Hortus deliciarum hook. I figure that the Flora of Scotland "hook" is either a joke or a not-so-subtle message that says "serious, House of Scandal, go fuck yourself and the sooner you do the better". As I thought I had a friendly working relationship with Yomangan_ (name censored) I want to believe it’s a joke rather than the nasty message regarding the afterforesaid fucking of myself by myself.
[edit] Mrs. MacPherson
As the length of this hook was approximately that of a cargo train crossing India, I hardly (i.e. immediately) noticed that Fauna of Scotland has a capital F. This is, with little doubt, a proper noun referring to Fauna MacPherson of Poolewe, Gairloch, a "noted housewife" who "it is widely believed" something about. The title "Fauna of Scotland" is very misleading as the article is apparently about animals (I think, not being much of a reader I went by the photos) and Mrs. MacPherson is mentioned only thrice. Fortunately, most of the animals in Scotland were mentioned in the "hook". Since housewives aren't usually animals (nudge nudge) I will propose the article is split and will post a link to the discussion page thereof. If the split motion is passed, one week later I will propose a merge. At some point, I will also propose a name change to Mrs. Fauna MacPherson, Mrs. Fauna Macpherson (the same person having a little p), Mrs. Flora MacDonald (no dot after Mrs) and so forth, either in sequence or concurrently. Either idea is grrrrrreat.
[edit] Magnum uncinus
I think the real misfortune here is that this magnum uncinus (Latin: "humongous big-ass really really really big hook") is that this it could have been subdivided and supplied us with not one but four updates:
- DYK that the Fauna of Scotland includes almost half of the EU’s breeding seabirds?
- DYK that the Fauna of Scotland includes only one endemic vertebrate species?
- DYK that the Fauna of Scotland includes a large population of Wild Cats?
- DYK that the Fauna of Scotland was diminished when many of the larger mammals were hunted to extinction in historic times?
We could run them either sequentially or on the same update. Either idea is grrrrrreat. I do, however, understand that these short hooks have the undesirable quality of being interesting and eye-catching (yuck, p'toohey!)
[edit] Subcincturum
Also, some people have been known to say that it is widely believed that hook length may be inversely proportional to naughty bits[citation needed]. Note that I recently submitted this hook:
- ...Poecilostomatoida are parasitic crustaceans?
Four words ladies and gentlemen! Yes, I'n often mistaken for Smilin’ Bob from the Enzyte television commercials (editors outside the United States might not know who he is, hence this article does not necessarily indicate a world view.) That means uncinus Poecilostomatoida is 1/10 the size of magnum uncinus faunus Scoti (Scoti? Caledonia? Otlandscay?). If we count the tongue-twisting Poecilostomatoida as two words it’s still 1/8th the scale of the Fauna of Scotland “hook”. Trivia: If we count Poecilostomatoida as 37 words then this hook and the Fauna of Scotland "hook" are the same size.
[edit] Asseveration
Fellow editors, please do not chide me for this goofy epistle. This weird expression of angst was much-needed therapy. Having beaten joculararity to death, I have just a few completely serious notes that I'll dole out alphabetically to the addressees:
- Ben MacDui - Although I used the hook for Fauna of Scotland as fodder for above foolish diatribe, I want in no way to oppugn the article itself. The article is gorgeous. You tackled a gigantic topic single-handedly and admirably. It has superior content, beautiful citations, great images, etc. If word count in a hook translated into kudos, I can think of no article that deserves those 40 words more than this. Great, great work.
- Lar - Thanks very much for your contributions to the conversation about the Hortus deliciarum hook earlier. Your respectful contributions were very soothing and statements such as "don't be discouraged" struck at what was for me the heart of the matter. I'm going to send you a Dr. Phil Barnstar or something, I just haven't figured out what yet.
- Yomangani - The assortment of articles you produce reveals a sharp intelligence and a sense of humor. I therefore hope you take my teasing in good spirits. As you've agreed that sharp hooks are preferred, please consider brevity or the lack thereof before posting on the main page. Maybe you were a hurry today or something, no big deal. It all worked out for the best as that 40 word hook gave me a great opportunity for cathartic satire. House of Scandal 02:55, 24 January 2007 (UTC)
