Talk:History of York City F.C.

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[edit] Fair use rationale for Image:YorkCity60s70s.JPG

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If there is other fair use media, consider checking that you have specified the fair use rationale on the other images used on this page. Note that any fair use images uploaded after 4 May, 2006, and lacking such an explanation will be deleted one week after they have been uploaded, as described on criteria for speedy deletion. If you have any questions please ask them at the Media copyright questions page. Thank you.

BetacommandBot (talk) 21:09, 26 November 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Copy editing

I'm having a go at copy editing today. I've downloaded the text to my word processor and I will put a revision back later on. Feel free to mess about with it more if you think I've got it wrong!!--Harkey Lodger 09:30, 3 December 2007 (UTC)

I've done as much as I can. This article needs peer review again now.--Harkey Lodger 12:25, 3 December 2007 (UTC)

[edit] GA review comments

Here you go...

  • General
    • First, can you close the current PR, running that and a GA in parallel is a bit weird since comments from either need to be addressed. Let's focus on GA for now and then once you're there, put it up for PR again at WP:FOOTBALL for FA consideration.
  • Lead
    • "... before folding..." - bit colloquial.
    • "The current club..." - confused, the current club was formed in 1908 and went bust.
    • "...only in the replay." - why "only"? Explain significance.
    • Is it possible to link play-off?
    • " York remains in this division. They made the play-offs in the 2006–07 season, but lost to Morecambe in the semi-final." - flow together.
    • Place image of KK Crescent at top of article.
  • 1908–17
    • "obtained a ground" - prefer acquired, but it's just my ".
    • "The club turned professional in 1912 and joined the Midland League. The team played..." - the club, the team... reads awkwardly.
    • "...forced into liquidation because it was bankrupt." - well it's kind of obvious that the reason they went into liquidation was due to bankruptcy but perhaps you could explain why they went bankrupt during the First World War. Why?
  • 1922–38
    • "By the end of this season, the club made a loss of £718 and only £1,260 of the share capital was subscribed.[8] " is a bit out of context. First time you've really gone into detail about money and saying "only 1260 of..." has no context.
      • Y Done Removed. Seems unimportant really. Mattythewhite 21:57, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
    • "restored to size" - restored to its original size?
      • Y Done I'd think so. Mattythewhite 21:57, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
    • " out of 20.They reached the second round of the FA Cup, losing 2–1 to Grimsby Town.This was the first time York had passed the competition's qualifying rounds." - space needed after 20. and Town. and needs better flow.
      • Y Done Added space and rewritten. Mattythewhite 21:59, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
    • " first manager, Jock Collier who took the role of player-manager." - hmm, needs explanation about "first manager" and then reads weird when you say he was the player-manager.
    • "Collier's first season in charge proved to be the club's last in the Midland League because York won election to the Football League in June 1929. York took the place of Ashington in Division Three North.[16]" - flow together.... "...Midland League as York won election to Football League in June 1929, taking the place of Ashington in Division Three North." - for example.
    • "August 31, 1929.It finished" - space required. Check for all instances of this please.
      • Y Done Done, I think. Mattythewhite 22:10, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
    • "and do well in the FA Cup,[19]taking Sheffield United to a replay.[21]" - space needed after [19] and why was it doing well to take Sheff Utd to a replay? Tell the reader about the difference in divisions etc.
    • " firmly placed on the football map," - is this a quote? If so, cite and place in quotes, if not, get rid of it as WP:OR.
      • Y Done Taken from source - quouted. Mattythewhite 22:15, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
    • " The 1937–38 season saw York City firmly placed on the football map, as the team managed to knock out First Division West Bromwich Albion and Middlesbrough in the FA Cup, before meeting Huddersfield Town in the quarter-final, which York drew 0–0 in front of a crowd of 28,123, (a record which will last for all time due to modern seating restrictions) but they went out of the competition after losing the replay 2–1 at the Leeds Road ground.[28][30]" is one sentence. Split.
  • 1938–59
    • "make a profit in five." - again, a little out of context, and uncited.
      • Y Done Rewritten and cited. Mattythewhite 08:02, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
    • "...in fourth place with 53 points; new club records." - position and points? I'd clarify by saying "...points, both club records."
    • "...the first Third Division club to participate in a semi-final replay,..." - presumably you're talking about the FA Cup?
  • 1959–80
    • How did Jack Fountain fix matches?
    • "Second Division" vs "Division Two" - be consistent.
      • Y Done Consistently used "Division Two". Mattythewhite 08:22, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
  • 1980–99
    • "also becoming the first team to do so" - do what? I assume you mean exceed 100 points...it's not clear enough.
    • " four days later.This was " - space needed.
    • Lot of choppy sentences in this section. Look for independent copyedit to get a better flow.
    • "after having a heart attack " - suffering a heart attack?
    • "A shrewd tactician" - again, is this a quote or WP:OR?
      • Y Done Quotation marks added. Mattythewhite 14:54, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
    • "Second Round" - suddenly capitalised. Check all instances of cup rounds are consistently capitalised, either way.
      • Y Done Consistently using lower-case now. Mattythewhite 14:58, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Image:YCFC1993.jpg says not low resolution - it really is low res!
      • Y Done Changed to low resolution. Mattythewhite 15:02, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
  • 1999–present
    • "The play-offs were achieved" - odd phrasing.

So, quite a lot to deal with. But knowing Matty, it won't be long before the comments are attended to so I'll put it on hold for now. Shout at me when you're ready for re-review or for clarification of the above. The Rambling Man 17:32, 3 December 2007 (UTC)

Let me know if I can help at all.A lot of hard work has gone into this article and I would like to see it promoted.Good luck--Harkey Lodger 18:11, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
You can certainly get involved if you wish! Mattythewhite 18:15, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
  • 1922–38

The club appointed Jock Collier as their player-manager in July 1928, becoming the first manager of the club. Still reads a bit odd.Maybe "In July 1928 Jack Collier was made the first player-manager of the club." would sound better? --Harkey Lodger 18:08, 4 December 2007 (UTC)

[edit] GA review continues

  • Explain significance of NUFC in the first lead paragraph, e.g. "First Division Newcastle..."
  • "York in this division, but made it to the play-offs in the 2006–07 season, but lost to Morecambe in the semi-final." in lead. Eh?
  • " The club appointed Jock Collier as their player-manager in July 1928, becoming the first manager of the club." - this is still confusing. You may need to explain why clubs didn't have managers traditionally back in the early 20th century.
    • Y Done Rewritten. Better now? Not certain... Mattythewhite (talk) 18:05, 5 December 2007 (UTC)
  • "played an FA Cup match with" - against?
  • "(a record which will last for all time due to modern seating restrictions)" - no, you can't prove this, what if restrictions change and stands can be 500ft tall and seat 8 million?! Hyperbolic I know but you get what I mean?

It's massively better than before, very close to GA in my opinion and shows good signs of being FA potential with some decent copyediting! As always, let me know.... The Rambling Man (talk) 17:37, 5 December 2007 (UTC)

Excellent job. GA now. The Rambling Man (talk) 10:13, 6 December 2007 (UTC)