Talk:Hibiki's Magic

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Good article Hibiki's Magic has been listed as one of the Language and literature good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can delist it, or ask for a reassessment.
August 4, 2007 Good article nominee Listed
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Anime and manga, which aims to improve and expand anime and manga related articles on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, you can edit this article or visit the project page.
Good article GA This article has been rated as GA-Class on the assessment scale.

Contents

[edit] I need your darn help

I need a ton of help here. I never even read the book. User:Ka:p:pa 00:46, 10 February 2007 (UTC)

drummed up a review. posted it on amazon too. currently under "Volume 1" Faucett 04:12, 24 March 2007 (UTC)

I think the article needs a bit of changing. Blackcat52 14:34, 2 July 2007 (UTC)

I edited some and would like some feedback. Blackcat52 17:05, 3 July 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Comments

My reviewing the article for GA ended up turning into a copyedit. There were a lot of problems in the writing, mostly redundant phrasing and overly long sentences. The grammatical tense is also wrong in much of the article, especially the Characters section. According to Wikipedia:Manual of Style (writing about fiction), recounting of story elements should be told in a present tense, unless the events occur in the past, before the story starts. I couldn't fix this problem due to haven't not read the manga. Also, when you talk about how Hibiki is good at making tea, are you referring to tea in the English or Japanese manner? I'm just a bit uncertain weither a link to Japanese tea ceremony is needed or not.

Anyways, if someone could fix those tenses, then I think this article would be passable. However, I feel that I've now contributed too much to review for myself.--SeizureDog 21:11, 2 August 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for the contributions; I'll get to work on the tenses as I have read the first volume. Also, the characters are not Japanese and appear more European, and as such, the tea she serves is not done in the traditional way akin to a Japanese tea ceremony.--十八 22:20, 2 August 2007 (UTC)
I figured as much, but wasn't sure. Also, I forgot to mention this, but the article could also use a image of some of the actual manga artwork. I think every manga article needs this, since the internal b&w artwork can be quite a bit different from the colorized covers.--SeizureDog 22:39, 2 August 2007 (UTC)
With the manga scan, do you mean an original Japanese-language scan, or a page from the Tokyopop translation? Either way, I wouldn't be able to produce a scan of the original Japanese-language version, and while I have a scanner, I wouldn't be able to make a good enough scan of the manga itself (I don't want to compromise the integrity of the book just for the article's sake).--十八 22:43, 2 August 2007 (UTC)
I think the English version is probably better for the article. Also, perhaps you could find a panel on the outside of a page so you can scan the manga without having to bend the spine (which I'm assuming would be the issue you're worried about)? --SeizureDog 23:12, 2 August 2007 (UTC)
Ah, you mean then just a single panel, or a set of small panels featuring character artwork? That I can do, as you are correct in that I do not want to bend the spine. ^^;; So then what exactly are you looking for here? Can it just be random, or should I try to get a panel with multiple characters in one shot, and how big should it (or they) be?--十八 23:49, 2 August 2007 (UTC)
Something that represents the general artwork of the manga and is a somewhat important plot point. Or a certain aspect of the manga has been noted in a review. --SeizureDog 00:54, 3 August 2007 (UTC)

[edit] GA review on hold

Hi there, good work so far. This article is well sourced and the copyedit described above has left it at a fairly good quality. However, I am putting this nomination on hold because it does not conform to WP:LEAD. The lead should be a short summary of the topic, and at the moment it is a description of the background and creation of the manga that would be better suited to a "background" section. The lead should be a brief overview of the major elements, not a detailed explanation of how it came to be created. At the moment there is only one sentence in the lead commenting on the plot, and yet two paragraphs explaining how it came into being ;) I'll give you a few days to fix this - if there's no work done on it by the 8th of August I will replace the tag with a fail. Kamryn · Talk 05:27, 4 August 2007 (UTC)

The lead looks pretty good to me at the moment.--SidiLemine 14:07, 6 August 2007 (UTC)
Yes, it has improved a lot since I reviewed. I am happy to pass it now. Great work! :) Kamryn · Talk 21:22, 6 August 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Magic and sacrifices

I think this is an important part of the plot, so I added a section on the magic and how it requires sacrifices in order to use. I'm not the best at writing articles, however, so if anyone could improve upon them, that would be great. Also, I added a few of the sacrifices the characters have made to their sections, although I do not know them all. If someone could fill in the rest, that would also be wonderful. DaniDaniDanica (talk) 23:59, 30 March 2008 (UTC)