User talk:Henslee57/Guerilla Marketing Talk Radio Show

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[edit] Same old problems

See Kesh's remarks under "Moved from article page." Discard the old spammy article. Rebuild from the ground up. Abandon any effort to retain advocacy, marketing, peacock words or cutesy language. Adopt an impartial, encyclopedic tone. Document the notability of the topic, providing citations of references to this topic by reliable sources. Remove irrelevancies; for instance, we don't care who has been a guest on the show: that doesn't confer notability, because notability is not contagious. Use good grammar. Wikify. --Orange Mike | Talk 19:43, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

I am trying to help here, as a volunteer on his coffee Mountain Dew break. When I edit for a living I get $40-$75/hr. --Orange Mike | Talk 20:45, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

You didn't remove this: "Did we forget to mention; he has done all of this in the past several years and Robin Rushlo s blind." That's the very example of "cutesy language" that I was thinking of first. --Orange Mike | Talk 21:36, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

You need to remove "This is a very new and exciting tool for network marketing" as it is POV and editorial comment. Sarah 04:12, 8 March 2008 (UTC)

Also remember, some of your readers are going to be actively hostile to "network marketing"/MLM, viewing it as somewhere between a Ponzi scheme and a pyramid scheme. --Orange Mike | Talk 05:33, 8 March 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Further edits

I've removed the "See also" links to things which are not about this radio show; and the "References" to press releases and other self-advertisements. Prior guest are irrelevant; they don't make the radio show notable, as I mentioned before.

I don't comprehend what you mean by "I am getting articles written by outside authors as well as associates talking about the radio show 3rd party reliable sources??" --Orange Mike | Talk 05:57, 8 March 2008 (UTC)